Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

It’s Monday Night And I’m Ready

Tonite at my daughter’s teeball practice a kid spoke to me with a southern accent. I’m not sure what he said, but the tone was disrespectful.  So I gave him a forearm to the throat.  And, just before I ran away, I told him he’s going down in 5.

No, none of that happened.  But three more days of this crap can’t be good for anybody.

Stressed? No.  But Dave Waddell thinks you are.

It must be NHL playoff time in Detroit.

The whiffs of doubt fill the air and the nervous Nellie’s among the fan base are undergoing group therapy on the Internet as the Detroit Red Wings prepare for the playoff opener Thursday at home to the Nashville Predators.

Group therapy.  That’s what we’ve got going on here.  Baroque is Nurse Ratchett.  Gramps is Scanlon.  Rumbear is Martini.  Gabe is Chez. AndrewfromAnnArbor is R.P. McMurphy and I’m, naturally, the Chief.  We’re all a bunch of sick paranoids waiting for the next electroshock session.

Stressed? No.  Homer’s a little pissed off and we dig that.

Even the Predators have been remarkably candid about being happy to avoid San Jose and play Detroit instead.

The Wings won five of the eight meeting this season, with two of those coming in the shootout.
“Good for them,” said Tomas Holmstrom.

The Anti-Digger’s got the Wings’ fourth quarter grades and I guess he’s trying to make us all feel a little silly.

Mikael Samuelsson A-: Samuelsson has become the Robert Lang in some ways of this season in that he’s taking a lot of heat. If you judge him just by goals, then he’s a failure. But the Red Wings are a lot better with him in the lineup than out. Hopefully, he’ll return from a groin strain soon. Defensively underrated, Samuelsson helped the Red Wings outscore opponents 12-4 at even strength with him on the ice. He was at the point for 10 power-play goals in one 12-game stretch.

If that’s anyone but MacLeod, I’m going on for paragraphs about their stupidity.  But it’s not anyone else. It’s the Anti-Digger. And the only thing I can say to that, literally, is…ok.  You don’t argue with the Anti-Digger. Not here you don’t.

Worried about goaltending.  Tick Tock’s not

Detroit General Manager Ken Holland believes Hasek, behind a defense that usually limits foes to fewer than 21 shots a game, can still be the force that helped them win the Stanley Cup in 2002.

“If you look back a year ago, Dom took us to the final four,’’ Holland said. “Why wouldn’t you try it all over again? He gave us Stanley Cup goaltending last year.’’

Holland’s lying, of course.  Hasek’s one year older, one year crazier and about as consistent as your average Ottawa goalie.  There is no valid reason to be as confident as Holland claims, publicly, to be. Every single one of you are justifiably nervous and I’m proud of you for it.  The club car on the Stress Train is hereby named The Hasek. 

I guess the Detroit News is going all modern on us.  Stand by for technology tomorrow at 1145.

Steve Yzerman, Ken Holland and USA Today hockey writer Kevin Allen will provide an “insiders take” on the playoffs in a program hosted by the Detroit Sports Broadcasters Association. Catch the live Webcast exclusively on detnews.com.

Whew.  I thought three days left before the playoffs start would turn the world upside down and make weird things normal.  Nope. All is the same…at least in St. Louis.  While bloggers following sixteen other teams prepare for the playoffs, the Bitter Blues Bloggers settled right back into their standard offseason routine…playing the lottery.

The balls are spinning. The Blues have a decent shot at Stamkos.  He’s a franchise player, waiting to be plucked. Waiting to head to St. Louis to join a legacy of failure.  Soon, Steve Stamkos can lose to the Wings in the playoffs just like Pronger and Fuhr and Casey all did.  It will be glorious.

Woops.  Too bad.
St. Louis Game Time

And here we go.

Picking fifth: Islanders. That means Blues still alive for the top.

Picking fourth: ….the Blues. F***.

Aw. What a shame.  There’s always next year’s lottery Blues fans. Don’t worry.

Anyone care to guess who the BBBs are rooting for in Round 1? Here’s a shocker.

SLGT

Here in the Western Conference, we’re rooting for…whomever is playing the Red Wings. You’d think that we’d take the high road and actually pull for a Central Division team to win the Stanley Cup. Nope. Sorry, we lost our map and we’ll just stay here on the low road where we like it. And any Wings fans that might read this, no we’re not bitter. We just don’t like your team. Or your team’s fans. Or your city. That’s about it. So (gulp)…Go Predators!

Few things are funnier than watching Peter Forsberg limp down the tunnel in pain, but one of them is reading the Bitter Blues fans still throwing hate at the Wings.  Tee times kids.  Call ‘em in.

 

 

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com