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Still Saying Blow Jackets?

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Yea, you and everyone else thinks it’s both hilarious and clever to say the BJ’s or Blow Jackets and sometimes plainly as the Blow Jobs. In 2000 I was a teen in the crowd saying those things so please come up with some new ways to use BJ to attack Columbus. I can still take this because I’ve seen this team fail over and over again. Let me explain.

Making the right moves in the wrong way is what has been happening for the past 10 years. First it was Odelein skating onto the ice in the inaugural game wearing the C for the Jackets. Later that thug left for an unsuccessful career. Dave King followed and Rick Nash became a name. Then came Doug MacLean acting as the coach. With that came a fall into piss smelling mud so they gave Gerard Gallant the wheel for a spell. It has taken years to shake the confusion of multiple coaches and interim coaches. So in the same spirit they hired Hitchcock. This guy lost breath in 1999 when he hoisted the cup over his head after coaching Dallas for 4 years, but why did he get canned by two teams? It’s not a bad idea on paper to hire a guy who has eight 100 point seasons. Hell it better have been since he was unemployed for a month before he was picked up. We saw a glimmer of hope shine in Stinger’s eye but let’s fast forward.

Columbus went downhill in the Central division but increased their regular season points. The people of Ohio started going apeshit during games in our favor. After a loss we stared at Ken like a father apologizing for walking in on you the first time you greased your biscuit. Things started to make sense and the building blocks of draft picks and trades were working for Hitchcock. Eventually Canada spread its cheeks and birthed Steve Mason who gave Ken the ride of his life. Moving along…

Mason carried the Jackets to the Stanley Cup playoffs and Detroit swept them under the rug. I ruined my dv-r after watching the last period of Game 4 too many times. I’m willing to debate this but I imagine the Jackets would have made it to game 6 if “too many men on the ice” wasn’t called.  So there we saw it, it was possible to have a post season.

After the next season in 09-10 Klesla was on the bench taking out an important defensive element with him and Mason succumbed to the sophomore year curse. The Jackets were falling quickly and GM Scott Howson was getting impatient. Thoughts of Hitchcock calling Mason in the middle of the night crying to him and telling him he’s destroying his career came easy after seeing his performance. Ken was fired with Claude Noel as interim coach for the rest of the season. The only thing on our minds at this time was what city the Blue Jackets would be moved to and we still couldn’t get that taste of the playoffs out of our mouths.

So began the season that marked a decade in the NHL with new coach Scott Arniel and the hopes of Mason getting back on the horse. This wasn’t appealing enough for the organization. Maybe it was the amount of debt they were in or it was to commemorate the tenth anniversary but a third jersey was released. Everyone thought the jersey was amazing and it had the feel that the Jackets were vintage; maybe to trick them into thinking that they were once an amazing team way back when. Well good people of KK it didn’t. Like many teams before the Blue Jackets they lost so many games in their alternate jersey that my friends and I couldn’t keep count. On top of that they decided on a new mascot.

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I would have been less distracted by a nude Megan Fox sliding down the ice in overtime than an 11 foot mascot that looks like a dick with a mustache. There is nothing you can do to convince me otherwise.

Regardless that season started with a bang with Kristian Huselius leading the charge in points and goals. Before we knew it the Jackets placed 1st , for a day… 3 Hat tricks came easy with rookie Matt Calvert notching one himself but it still didn’t stop the descent that came injuries and spotty defense, including goaltending.

So here we are. A questionable backup goaltender was picked up which will further put pressure on young Mason. Two big centers were picked up to help the already big forwards we have. But the biggest player acquired would probably be Wisniewski for the help on the power play and in front of our own net. Goaltender coaching was handed to Ian Clark, who signed on fulltime, in hopes that Mason will get back to the butter zone. Scott Aniel promises different “speeds” for us to be in as if we were a 1985 Nissan Stanza that couldn’t quite make it up the hill.

You can keep saying Blow Jackets and hell I will too when we’re down 5 goals but know this is a new era where most of the right moves were made and the only thing that is a gamble in Steve Mason getting in front of that puck.

 

Filed in: NHL Teams, Columbus Blue Jackets, Nicholas Lorenzi, | KK Hockey | Permalink
 

Comments

SnLO's avatar

Yea, you and everyone else thinks it’s both hilarious and clever to say the BJ’s

Actually, I just thought it seemed appropriate… Or I just refer to them as the Jackets

an 11 foot mascot that looks like a dick with a mustache.

Wearing a rain Jacket

cool smile

Posted by SnLO from beyond the M-1 on 07/29/11 at 02:23 PM ET

Pharazon's avatar

i like the movesd they made, but they’ve gotta proove it…

i still dont see them in the playoffs this year

Posted by Pharazon from England on 07/29/11 at 02:25 PM ET

Nicholas Lorenzi's avatar

“Let’s Go BLOW JOBS!” is normal to hear when we’re down and the arena is trying to amplify the cheers.

Hahaha yea the Jacket, not to mention the wheels looks like testicles.

Excuse the typo at the beginning, I’m no English major or precise editor.

Posted by Nicholas Lorenzi on 07/29/11 at 02:28 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

I don’t even know where to start with that post dude hahaha.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 07/29/11 at 02:31 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

I think you folk should bring back the “Cary the flag” marketing. That was good stuff and gets to the army side of the name instead of the silly insect. Firing a cannon in the arena is pretty badass too.  Sure, they don’t really help the product on the ice, but they help people take the franchise a bit more seriously

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 07/29/11 at 02:31 PM ET

J.J. from Kansas's avatar

Firing a cannon in the arena is pretty badass too.  Sure, they don’t really help the product on the ice, but they help people take the franchise a bit more seriously

Not just firing a cannon, but firing a cannon WHILE PLAYING AC/DC.

That’s pretty badass.

Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 07/29/11 at 02:33 PM ET

Nicholas Lorenzi's avatar

I don’t even know where to start with that post dude hahaha.

It’s like a drunk conversion around your fire.

I think you folk should bring back the “Cary the flag” marketing.

What? “GOTTA SEE IT LIVE!” doesn’t work for you either? A pathetic attempt to fill seats… I still carry the flag and they still use it in the radio shows and commercials but mostly it’s been snuffed out :\

Not just firing a cannon, but firing a cannon WHILE PLAYING AC/DC.

FOR THOSE ABOUT TO ROCK! BOOM! So clutch. Better than listening to Bush the entire game! Why is Machine Head appropriate?!

Posted by Nicholas Lorenzi on 07/29/11 at 02:44 PM ET

SnLO's avatar

Better than listening to Bush the entire game

I usually ignore her during games. Besides, it’s bald.

Posted by SnLO from beyond the M-1 on 07/29/11 at 02:53 PM ET

mrfluffy's avatar

Heh…I’m not sure who opened the door first in this thread but I’m going to grab the popcorn.

Posted by mrfluffy from A wide spot on I-90 in Montana on 07/29/11 at 03:04 PM ET

Nicholas Lorenzi's avatar

The Mascot could have been worse if it was a guy in a suit with a cannon protruding from his crotch. Heh, I’m gunna draw that.

Posted by Nicholas Lorenzi on 07/29/11 at 03:08 PM ET

mrfluffy's avatar

The goal song this year could be Kesha’s “Blow”....

Posted by mrfluffy from A wide spot on I-90 in Montana on 07/29/11 at 03:09 PM ET

Avatar

If you can’t laugh at a BJ joke, you’re too old.

Posted by Jesters Dead on 07/29/11 at 03:26 PM ET

Avatar

Yea, you and everyone else thinks it’s both hilarious and clever to say the BJ’s or Blow Jackets and sometimes plainly as the Blow Jobs.

Dude, this is one hell of a way to start a hell of a blog post. Way to actually make the jackets interesting.

Posted by steviesteve on 07/29/11 at 03:27 PM ET

whateverman's avatar

I actually hope the Butt Jammers are decent this year. As a Wings fan, it’d be nice to have some other geological rival than the Hawks. And we all know how fierce a Michigan/Ohio rivalry can get. I’d also like to see an expansion team succeed in a market that actually has a winter.

But go figure… by the time CBJ (maybe) started to figure things out realignment will probably have us separated after this season.

Posted by whateverman on 07/29/11 at 03:50 PM ET

SnLO's avatar

Following in the AC/DC theme, the mascot theme song could be Big Balls or You Shook me all Night Long

Posted by SnLO from beyond the M-1 on 07/29/11 at 03:53 PM ET

petshark's avatar

Well done!  For what it’s worth, I found the BJs quite irksome at times last season (let me introduce myself: Sharks/Flyers fan).  Great post.

Posted by petshark from Nor Cal, and on Twitter @petshark47 on 07/29/11 at 04:12 PM ET

petshark's avatar

Forgot to say I love the banner, but I need an explanation for that green alien/bug thing.  I don’t know what that means.

Posted by petshark from Nor Cal, and on Twitter @petshark47 on 07/29/11 at 04:13 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

Forgot to say I love the banner, but I need an explanation for that green alien/bug thing.  I don’t know what that means.

Posted by petshark from Nor Cal, and on Twitter @petshark47 on 07/29/11 at 02:13 PM ET

Allow me.  Instead of a “Yellow Jacket” Bee the CBJ made a “Blue Jacket” Bee.  You usually can’t see them, but his lower section has blue stripes rather than black/yellow.  Why is he green is anyone’s guess.  Of the many lost-at-sea areas of the Blue Jacket’s organization, their marketing department might be the worst.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 07/29/11 at 04:38 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

What? “GOTTA SEE IT LIVE!” doesn’t work for you either? A pathetic attempt to fill seats… I still carry the flag and they still use it in the radio shows and commercials but mostly it’s been snuffed out :\

Step One:  Fire Jeff Rimer

Step Two:  Get a new motto, or go back to carry the (white) flag.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 07/29/11 at 04:40 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

lowing in the AC/DC theme, the mascot theme song could be Big Balls or You Shook me all Night Long
Posted by SnLO from Meeeshegan on 07/29/11 at 01:53 PM ET

Can’t forget “Dirty Deeds”

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 07/29/11 at 04:42 PM ET

Curley's avatar

About the second or third year of the BJ’s existence, the arena was voted the #2 best venue for a fun experience in the U.S.  After marketing guy David Paitson left it’s been all downhill.  Paitson ran the Columbus Chill ECHL team before the CBJ and set all kinds of attendance/sell-out records.  Now we have Boomer and opposing fans riding on our Z machines and we still have that stupid bug!  The casual fans need to be entertained with creative stunts and videos until they learn the game.  The hard core fans are just insulted by the ridiculous videos and tired stunts. Fix it CBJ!!  The cannon is an excellent idea.
@Bezukov: Enjoyed our recent banter. Have a lot of respect for the Wings and hope the Central will be the best division again with the BJ’s being competitive.  I don’t however agree that Rick “Count the Cash” Nash is a second level star.  You won’t get too many NHL fans to agree with you, either.  Rick has been a huge star for CA at the Olympics and Worlds and in the (laughable) All Star Game.

Posted by Curley on 07/29/11 at 04:50 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

@Bezukov: Enjoyed our recent banter.

Posted by Curley on 07/29/11 at 02:50 PM ET

Hey me too my man!  We’ll leave the Nash discussion by the wayside for now haha.

————————————————————-

As far as a goal song for the Jackets goes: How about a cannon blast followed by a little bit of the Immigrant Song?

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 07/29/11 at 05:09 PM ET

Primis's avatar

Why is it so hard to have “serious” promotions?

Carry the Flag” was friggin’ brilliant I thought.  Carry the flag come hell or high water, come explosions or hail of gunfire… do not drop the flag.  Carry the flag.

Until the on-ice product improves any, it should stay your motto.

The BJ’s (and I myself call them that simply because it’s easier, not as a sexual reference) have perhaps the single coolest theme, name history, and color scheme to work with in the league.  How they continue to screw it up is beyond me.

Here’s a free hint though:  the best promotion you could ever do?  Win a playoff series or three.  Or hell, a single playoff GAME.  Nothing else will fix what that would fix…

Posted by Primis on 07/29/11 at 05:24 PM ET

MOWingsfan19's avatar

Who doesn’t like a BJ?

Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 07/29/11 at 05:29 PM ET

Chris from NOHS's avatar

A winning team will generate fans in this town.  There is no question in my mind.

Posted by Chris from NOHS from Columbus, OH/Grand Rapids, MI on 07/29/11 at 05:39 PM ET

Zaze's avatar

The green bee still confuses me.

I always thought a badass looking military guy in a real civil war blue uniform would be great, throw a fake cartooney head on there to please the kids, and you can’t miss.  Add a t-shirt cannon musket?  Come on, that’s gold.

Posted by Zaze on 07/29/11 at 06:07 PM ET

Nicholas Lorenzi's avatar

Stinger is one of the poorest excuse for a hockey mascot and confused people when combined with the Blue Jackets name.

I always thought a badass looking military guy in a real civil war blue uniform would be great, throw a fake cartooney head on there to please the kids, and you can’t miss.

That reminds me of Stan Lee’s “vision” during All Star week.

The Blue Jackets RoboCop

@Curley At least our hosers are hotties with mid-drifts. I think it was 2 seasons ago that a fews guys acting as drummer boys became a new thing. A huge step in the right direction. But as plainly said:

A winning team will generate fans in this town.  There is no question in my mind.

That needs to happen. Until then we’ll still get close to sell out crowds with the Red Wings, Penguins, Hawks and for some really crazy reason Buffalo.

Forgot to say I love the banner, but I need an explanation for that green alien/bug thing.

Thanks, I drew Stringer but made it more about the guy in the suit as you can clearly see he’s wearing green gloves. Gotta go with the Carry the Flag theme, I had no idea so many knew knew about that slogan.

The Sharks kinda got to me too but we finished 2-2 last season against San Jose with one 3-0 shutout and you made it out with more points with 2-1-1. I’m cool though, It’s not like we would have been able to beat Detroit twice in a row during the post season anyways.

Posted by Nicholas Lorenzi on 07/29/11 at 06:46 PM ET

petshark's avatar

Oh, I knew immediately what your drawing was, I was just looking for the explanations (which I got) about the bug/wasp/blue-yellow jacket. And I guess the blue/yellow could explain it being green.

Posted by petshark from Nor Cal, and on Twitter @petshark47 on 07/29/11 at 09:23 PM ET

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Paul Kukla founded Kukla’s Korner in 2005 and the site has since become the must-read site on the ‘net for all the latest happenings around the NHL.

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