Your major league baseball team just blows a 2 run lead in the bottom of the 9th...

Your major league football team, well, last year was a tease, I was wearing beer goggles, this year, back to reality...

Your major league basketball team hasn't been major for a long time...

Your major league hockey team is scattered about the world, playing hockey, fishings, working out, whatever they are doing is not what I want...

It is 34 degrees as I am typing this and I refuse to turn on the furnace....

Can't sleep, can't stay awake. Bettman, you up, want to have a cup of coffee with me?