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It’s time…It’s time…To let the Onion make fun of Gary Bettman

I would laugh at this lovely article from the Onion a little bit more if I didn't think that Chairman Mao had some catching up to do with his buddy and constant lockout companion Jeremy Jacobs.

Just in case you aren't familiar with the Onion, what follows is ficticious and a farce and/or satire:


With the Stanley Cup finals quickly approaching, NHL commissioner Gary Bettman told reporters Monday that he’s starting to wonder if he actually has to attend every single game of the championship series. “There’s no way people are seriously expecting me to go to all of these games, right? That would be ridiculous,” said Bettman, adding that he “[has] better things to do” than sit through up to seven hockey matchups from beginning to end. “I definitely have to show up for Game 1—that’s a given—but after that I figure I can just go to the later games where one of the teams has a chance to clinch it. And I’ll probably arrive in the second or third period for those. Really, I’m not about to spend any more time with this than I have to.” Bettman added that he had already watched a total of five hockey games this season, “which [was] more than enough.”


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TKShreve's avatar

OMG - Bruins v Hawks…...... Bettman is going to get booed out of the arena, whichever one this cup concludes in. His worst nightmare come true. He had some leeway with a potential west coast team making a run, but now he’s just beside himself knowing he has to endure the enraged fan base once again, all in the wake of a sticky lockout that jaded scores of fans. At the end of the day he cans till go home and take a snooze on his pile of cash and drink from his chalice, but one thing those items will never provide is authentic pride in oneself.

I for one am looking forward to this.

Fu*king twerp.

Posted by TKShreve from East Uptown on 06/11/13 at 08:56 AM ET

Vladimir16's avatar

Fu*king twerp.
Posted by TKShreve from East Uptown on 06/11/13 at 08:56 AM ET

This ^^^^

Posted by Vladimir16 from Grand River Valley on 06/11/13 at 09:04 AM ET

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Paul Kukla founded Kukla’s Korner in 2005 and the site has since become the must-read site on the ‘net for all the latest happenings around the NHL.

From breaking news to in-depth stories around the league, KK Hockey is updated with fresh stories all day long and will bring you the latest news as quickly as possible.

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