Kukla's Korner

Kukla's Korner Hockey

Coming Clean

from Colin White Wilson at The Players' Tribune,

I wasn’t fully honest with you.

When I shared my story here last year, I was holding something back.

I opened up about my OCD. My retirement from hockey. My successes and my failures. But I left something out. And I justified it in my head because I didn’t want it to dilute my message — or my goal to help people. I told myself it wouldn’t make sense, that it wasn’t necessary. But I was lying to myself. The truth is … man, the truth is simple: I was ashamed. Deeply ashamed. I held it close, scared of what people might think of me.

The truth is, I was an addict.

And when I saw the story in the The Boston Globe about Jimmy Hayes’ autopsy, everything that I’d suppressed about my own addiction came flooding into my mind. I’m two-and-a-half years sober — and in a way, I guess, I thought I had beat it. But you never beat it. You just live with it. And what happened to Jimmy … it could have happened to any of us. It could have happened to me.

I texted his dad and his wife, Kristen, the morning that article came out, and I let them know how powerful it was — how brave they were to share what they did. I’ve known Jimmy since I was 16, and he was a great, great person. Everyone cared about him so much. I can’t speak highly enough of the Hayes family. They are all great people.  And I know they want to help, just like I do. Because we’re in the middle of a massive opioid and mental health crisis. Those two things are inherently connected. And I believe the first step toward change is honesty and vulnerability.

I let myself down the last time I did this. I won’t do it again.

continued

Filed in: NHL Talk, | KK Hockey | Permalink
 

Comments

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Having dealt with OCD 20 years ago, I know first hand how debilitating it can be. It was horrible to deal with.  I was lucky to have it treated with therapy and medication.  I since went on to continued success in my business and personal life.  Seek help not in a bottle or in street drugs, but from trained people who specialize in this.  This article was terrific.  I hope it leads more people to know that they can take control of their lives and be happy.

Posted by MABO on 10/25/21 at 11:08 AM ET

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This is a really good piece.

Little by little people and institutions are opening up
re: mental illness and addiction. Less stigma and attendant secrecy
- and then worse manifestations of all the above; it’s a vicious circle.

Posted by lefty.30 on 10/25/21 at 02:20 PM ET

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About Kukla's Korner Hockey

Paul Kukla founded Kukla’s Korner in 2005 and the site has since become the must-read site on the ‘net for all the latest happenings around the NHL.

From breaking news to in-depth stories around the league, KK Hockey is updated with fresh stories all day long and will bring you the latest news as quickly as possible.

Email Paul anytime at pk@kuklaskorner.com