All Things Flaming C
by Scooter Kelly on 03/20/12 at 09:00 AM ET
Rick Santorum hates abortion and birth control. The Calgary Flames don’t like to take the easy gal home from the sock hop. Where these 2 entities parallel is that they both are in bitter fight for survival and they both need major successes to improve their chances at making it to the next stage. Please enjoy the political reference as you may never see that again.
The Flaming C had the perfect opportunity to take the proverbial bull by the testicles this past weekend and they summoned a resounding “moo” with their efforts. Cowtown: Bovine references are encouraged. The 29th and 30th place teams showed the Flames faithful that they are perhaps still the Flames of old and not a playoff worthy entry just yet. Coach Sutter had his 3rd stringer Leland Irving leapfrog the backup Henrik Karlsson once again, and Edmonton played the spoiler with a 3-1 victory. If you squint just right you will be able to figure out what’s going on with The Calgary Tower. For starters, let’s listen to his next possible moniker- The Farjestad Tower….kind of rolls off the tongue doesn’t it? Hakan Loob will find a place for you. The effort was there for half the game, otherwise it was flat and ugly. (Insert lame ex-girlfriend joke here.) Needless to say, any sort of loss to the City of Champignon Oilers is tough to swallow. When you deserve to lose the excuses are harder to come by. So I guess I’ll go with subpar reffing. Let’s move on. The Columbus BJ’s gave the local stars an opportunity to right the Good Ship Stajan, but they blew it. On a positive note, The Sea of Red was treated to a plethora of scoring opportunities. It was like speed dating for the Hunchback of Notre Dame. Lots of looks, but a lot of F-words when the date was over. Blake Comeau showed us that he may be the new-age Shean Donovan. He’s really fast but don’t expect him to put the biscuit in the basket. My apologies to Shean Donovan in this regard. There are rumors that Mr. Comeau has a twig with an unmanageable blade on it. Not even rec-league worthy, some may say. Perhaps someone from the equipment department, perhaps Mr. Osmak should throw them on the next bus to Bassano and replace them with something gentler and kinder. Indeed what he’s using right now is horrible. Calgary out-shot the visitors 31-18 (plus 10 shots wide and over the cage) yet they had to rely on Matty Franchise to force the game to overtime. I should really quit with the Stajan slurs as a wise friend made an excellent point. To wit-If Matt Stajan was a $1.5 - $2.0 M player, the fans and media would be on his side. Let’s make it easy and blame the LA Kings head coach for Ragin’ Stajan public infamy. Keep up the good work #18.
Sadly the end of Sven Gali is upon us as the Emergency Recall parameters have expired. Our Savior Jesus Christ aka Sven Baertschi has been reassigned to Portland of the WHL. The Edmonton loss was an unfortunate way to end his martyr-like come uppance. Perhaps we will see him in the playoffs? (Bueller? Anyone?) Let’s move on to the task at hand. The Flames sit 2 points out of a spot at the jock table with another pair of extremely pivotal games on the horizon. Colorado plays host Tuesday night and I dare say this may be the first of many must win’s to grace the pages of Flames expression. The good news is they have another must win against Minnesota on Thursday. That phrase will get easier in time, just like your sister. Offside, my apologies. Let’s hope the boys from the Scotiabank Saddledome can find a way to string a few together and keep things interesting to the end of the season. Now that’s something they lack after Christmas in Edmonton. And toothpaste, deodorant, etc. Kidding, I love all of Hater Nation and sadly you may lose your 1st Overall Draft Pick Competition, come draft day…. though you should be able to find some good talent with the #2 pick. Well done!
With unabashed kindness,
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