All Things Flaming C
by Scooter Kelly on 10/14/11 at 07:15 PM ET
After Calgary’s thorough thrashing of the les habitants last evening, I weighed the options of perhaps accommodating our francais amis with a Flaming C edition du French. While I can’t risk the chance of losing any more readers, I wisely chose against it. Coupling that with little to no French writing skills (some may argue my English is supbar as well) it was deemed prudent to stick to what I know best, that the Flames of Calgary are indeed a force to be reckoned with.
I would love to give analysis of last evening’s matchup with comparisons to the Battle on the Plains of Abraham in the 1775 era. The Reader’s Digest version will tell those that have forgotten their Social Studies learnings that the English defeated the French in a culmination of a 3 month siege in about 15 minutes. Last night it looked like it took the Flames 40 minutes to defeat their counterparts, with 20 minutes of mailing-it-in. Unlike the end of the historic battle where both Generals Wolfe and Montcalm were mortally wounded, only Carey Price’s save percentage garnered a similar fate.
Many haters out there deemed last night’s game a must-win. J-Feast, D-Sutz, and Harvey the Hound were all in a precarious spot. Another loss meant all were looking for new employment. Rich Hesketh was going to have to eat 6 bowls of high-fat ice cream and watch a 12 hour Oprah marathon, with his ankles hobbled and the chain removed from his old school stationary bike. Another loss and perhaps the Blackberry messenger network would undergo a state of disrepair. And finally, Skinny Ken King was going to take away the Jumbotron crews electronic devices leaving them only a typewriter and some pencil crayons for stencilling. Thankfully, none of these insane prognosis were necessary after the 4-1 win.
In a seldom used French dialect, to bourque means to dominate a tribe of mongrels. Last night Rene Bourque took the game into his hands, and made it his chienne. See-female dog. 2 big time snipes helped buoy the Flaming C to victoire. He was rewarded with le premiere etoile, the 1st Star. Another key contributor last night was Monsieur Alex Tanguay. Tanguay en francais means “to pitch”. Accordingly, Alex threaded numerous well aimed passes to his teammates and came out with 2 assists and le deuxieme etoile, the 2nd Star. Oddly enough, Kiprusoff doesn’t have any French undertones, though my guess is that in Finnish it means Kick-Ass Angler-Goalie. Miikka Kiprusoff was pretty much left on his own in the 3rd period after the fellas went up 4-1. He faced 12 shots and saved them all while his mates only managed 1 in the 3rd. His strong play earned him le troisieme etoile and sole possession of the Flame’s goalie wins with 263, one more than the legendary Mike Vernon. Kipper was overjoyed and even offered up a rare interview after the game. While he’ll never be a Toastmaster’s Club President, its nice to give the fans a little love in the form of an audio-visual blessing. Nic Hagman and David Moss rounded out the scoring and were allowed 4th and 5th turns in line at the poutine stand post-game.
The fellas earned a much deserved night off as they prepare for the Toronto Maple Leafs and -standard-a CBC HNIC billing at 5 pm MST. It is always nice to get the first win under one’s belt, and the intellectual community is saying good things about the Flames season prospectus. By intellectual community, I may be referring to my collegues and family members. It also appears that Flames Nations intense faith and positive thoughts have indeed paid off. 79 more results like last night and we will be preparing for the playoffs, as expected. Of course we won’t get ahead of ourselves…
Keeping it Riehl:
P.S. Tell your friend(s) about All Things Flaming C at Kuklas’s Korner. He or she will appreciate it. @kuklaskorner @scootermario (Twitter land)
P.S.S. Each read of blog is worth approximately 1 Iraqi Dinar in my family coffers.
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