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All Things Flaming C

Flaming Draft; Day 1

Dearest Flames Brethren,

Please be kind to the Flames management with regards to tonight’s draft. They are the experts. (Tongue in cheek? Nah, they’re solid.)

    The team has continued to morph into J-Feast’s molded magnificence with the hiring of Bob Hartley and now the draft-day shenanigans. To the fan’s and expert’s chagrin, they moved down and added a 2nd rounder from Buffalo. While acquiring picks seemed like opposite-day from the old guard, the team definitely needed to get some more depth. This 2rd round reclaim also made a sooth sayer of the GM as he promised to make that pick reappear. To the fans and experts surprise, again, The Lone Ranger, (GM) and Tonto (John Weisbrod) went rogue and picked a tall, lanky, beautifully shorn Quebec High school project named Mark Jankowski. While most Canadian High School programs run coed hockey, fortunately this one wasn’t. The GM claimed on TSN this evening that Mr. Jankowski could quite positively be the best player in the draft. The timer goes off in 10 years though (his time-line not mine!) Let’s have a little faith here, maybe he will make us all very proud. Real hockey expert Pierre McGuire polished the proverbial turd and called it a “legendary pick” and went on to say that he comes from great bloodlines. In cattle talk, his mother would have a nice bag and throw large, yet manageable calves. Fantastic! It should be noted that his stats aren’t available on http://www.Hockeydb.com as they don’t link up with such prestigious hockey programs. Also, one really shouldn’t bury the kid as he may grow to 6’8” as he’s grown about 8 inches in the past 3 years, or something like that. He was ranked middle of the 1st round at some point this past season and was not a complete unknown. What is also known is that he will play in Dubuque of the USHL next season and Providence in 2013-14 or until he gets called up to the big club. At 6’2” and 3/4, and 168 lbs.-let’s hope there is a kickass cafeteria menu at his next couple troughs.

    Rounds 2-7 continue tomorrow and The Great Eye-In-The-Sky only knows what will happen. (Religious sensitivity training has made me eliminate any culturally defining pretenses.) Let’s hope the overseers have some more tricks up their sleeves and we are not the only team making picks that are Hail Mary’s. The Ceci’s, Gaunce, and Samuelsson picks would all have been safe and admirable. Perhaps @Janko61 (twitter handle) will be a superstar one day. Let’s hope so!

Scooter Fletcher

P.S. When asked who the real winners today are? One can simply say- “Anyone not named Nail or Yakupov.” That is all.

 

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When the Flames brass or should I say ass, heard it was Draft Day they filled up the biggest schooner glass they could find.  Five or six times by the looks of it.  I will have to google where this quebec prep school is but a good guess would be somewhere just off St. Catherine’s street.  After a full day of booze and naked girls even high school players look good.  Sounds like a year in the US jr hockey league and 4 more at university, Flames fans should look forward to this kids arrival some time around 2020.  Which could be just in time for the 1st playoff game in upten years. 

Buffalo had to be happy to move up, but every other team in the draft was pissed at the deal.  All of a sudden that last round sleeper was gone.  If only the Flames had just stayed put and pick a player that central scouting had even ranked.  Well good luck to our young friend Mr, Jankowski, With grad coming up this week he should be able to a date now that he can add first round pick to his resume.  Even if this prep school is an all boys school.

At 6’2 and 168 pounds the last time the Flames had a skinny prick like that on the ice, he has unconcious with just his red socks on.  Greatest moment in Flames history.  Gotta love that Hurlbut kid.  At least his name I will never forget.  That kid they picked in the 1st round, Jakobowski or what ever, not so sure he will ever be rememberable.


Boozecan

Posted by AwheelAwingAdynasty on 06/24/12 at 05:01 PM ET

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