Kukla's Korner

All Things Flaming C

March of the Flameguins?

If anything can reverse the ailing media of erectdile dysfunction, it’s the sale of the Toronto Maple Leafs. Here’s how I would handle such a big sports story- Leafs sold to Bell-Rogers. Expect same on-ice product. In other news, the Flames of Calgary are dominating out west. It must be the center of the Canadian universe that dictates the importance we put on various constitutions, and today was another fine example. Does anyone recall when Jeff Vinik purchased the T.B. Lightning from the Saw franchise owner Oren Koules and Len Barrie? One line at the bottom of the ticker. The only ownership worthy story is when the plucky owners of Ice Edge finally make their emergence known to the NHL ownership secret society…now on the more important issues.

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Tumultuous Times in Feaster Land

The weary soldiers of Sutterville have been riding high as of late (5 of 6 points) but even evil bloggers and media have been creating deals and upheavals to no end. While the despondent disciples of Darryl (no longer) were on the cusp of a 3 game win streak, they managed to lose once again to Columbus after a 3-1 lead late in the 3rd. Getting a shootout-loss-point versus to the worst team in the league is parallel to scoring at the prom and finding out she is a blood relative. While both seem to be a positive, in reality it kinda sucks.

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The Flames of Death?

The much anticipated All Things Flaming C is back and filled with positive energy. First of all, I’m positive that Blake -Don’t call me Perry- Comeau is NOT going to take the Calgary Flames to the upper echelon of the NHL. This 6’1” 205 lb Saskatchewan product has been given the the Flames for 100% free, as he was waived by the NY Islanders. Yes friends, he wasn’t good enough to cut it on the Isle, but waltzed his way onto the active roster yesterday. Let us look at this a little deeper…

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Roller Coaster Aflame?

The greatest fans in the league, the C of Red, were treated to a spectacle of beauty versus the 2010 Stanley Cup Champs, the Hawks of Black. One can almost guarentee they will come out with their oars dragging, slowing down the Good Ship Saddledome their next time out. Is that because they play good, then crap, great, then shitty, inspired, then indolent and so on and so on like a Calgon commercial….? Perhaps I have spoken too soon?

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Feaster’s Morphing Flames

Not-so-long ago, Jay Feaster was the interim GM of the Calgary Flames, Generally one assumes anyone in an interim position is kinda like the substitute teacher that wants all the students to love him. You know the one that plays Heads Up 7-Up,  mixes in a game of floor hockey rather than wind sprints, and watches movies with swear words rather than Lord of the Flies. We all realized than these people with precarious tenure were always the easiest to influence and get along with. Well let’s fast forward to a new era that takes the interim away from J-Feast, and gives him absolute power, absolutely.

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Flames Make Moves!! Is Jarome on the Block?

Attention Flames Fans-the hysteria that is roster management peaked today with a pair of personnel moves. In the wake of another ebb of the Flames 2011-12 season, GM J-Feast has summoned last preseason’s heart’s desire-TJ Brodie. Exciting times. This came as the result of Anton Babchuk’s Injury Reserve delegation. His biggest asset, his sniper mitt, has been deemed tres mal, and he will be out for the near future.

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Flames Of Confusion

As I have been sequestered in beautiful Swift Current, Saskatchewan for the week in an attempt to save their Western Hockey League franchise, I struggled to find one of their computers available to update the masses. But alas, I asked a local yokel to point me in the direction of one of the 3 available in the city, and here I am! On Tuesday, the Flames ended their 6 game homestand in the most abysmal of possible ways. The Van City Canucks walked over them with a convincing 5-1 victoire and the boys looked like a ragged bunch of ragamuffins…

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Flaming Masterpiece?

Night Watch by Rembrandt, Hare by Albrecht Durer, The Mona Lisa by Leonardo da Vinci and Crash The Net by Brent Sutter. Most these works of art have had international acclaim and been successful over time. Last night the C of Flame celebrated Miikka Kiprusoff’s 35th birthday with a crucial 4-2 victory over the Quebec Nordiques of Colorado.

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WoeFul Flames

It’s always darkest before the dawn, said a famous scribe. Well the Flaming C are in the midst of an important 6 game homestand and they are running around with flashlights on their spelunker helmets. Saturday afternoon featured a rare 2:00 MST start against the Nashville Predators and they came out guns a-blazing….then the harsh reality that is their offense-sunk in.

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Flames Promote Bullying?

Just when you start to think the Flames aren’t going to be rewarded for their domination, the tide turns and the C of Love get the much needed 2 points. While I should acknowledge the fellas squandered a 2-0 lead over the Toronto Maple Leafs of Toronto on Saturday and were handed a 3-2 loss, Tuesday night’s edition roared back in the final half of period 3 and scored 2 on Double D Dubnyk and won 2-1 at the ScotiaBank Saddledome.

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