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Canucks and Beyond

PSA: Please Avoid the Clap

Anatomy of a press release.

First, we have the “look who’s using our product!” video.  Just to bring you all up to speed, here’s a news broadcast demonstrating this thing (the HTH Clapper), showing footage from Sioux Falls Stampede Hockey:

But it’s the press release that’s following this video clip around that has got to be the most unintentionally-tragic thing I’ve read in ages:

Today’s “smart-phone fan” that grew up playing inside with graphic infused games that pounded on the visual and auditory senses like nothing before, and that is now constantly checking and updating Twitter/Facebook while playing ‘Angry Birds’, is the HTH Clapper demographic.

These smart-phone fans are used to constant stimulation, instant gratification, and continuously using their

HANDS

.

During a live sporting event, HTH Clappers allow fans to ‘continuously use their hands’.  Hitting the “Palm Pounders” is cathartic on frustrating plays and absolutely exhilarating on great plays.  It provides ‘instant gratification’ throughout the game and gives a feeling that their clapping

really matters

to their team winning!

When fans put them on, even the most laid back stoic fan becomes a

passionate fan

!

You really can’t help becoming more engaged!

Or maybe they meant “enraged”? 

(And just so we’re clear: all the emphasis (italics, underlining) is theirs. I actually spared you the 40px font.)

But that’s not all. The release also came with “art”. And just in case you weren’t quite getting the message about the “Angry Birds” generation and their need for “stimulation” and “instant gratfication”, the HTH company would like to hammer it home a little further:

image

image

I started out this post by calling this whole thing unintentionally-tragic, but maybe not. Maybe it’s intentional comedy…. like perhaps I’ve just willingly wandered into an old episode of PUNK’D?

 

Filed in: dumb stuff, | Canucks and Beyond | Permalink
 

Comments

awould's avatar

Wait! I have a smartphone, play Angry Birds and am a hockey fan. And I must say, they really got me pegged. It’s like they have a window into my soul. I just know if I were able to get some clappers, I’d paint my face, make more noise and buy more nachos and beer. I might even score a goal!

As a former advertising professional, this is just awesome in a really bad way.

Posted by awould on 08/08/11 at 08:22 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

These smart-phone fans are used to constant stimulation, instant gratification, and continuously using their HANDS.

During a live sporting event, HTH Clappers allow fans to ‘continuously use their hands’.  Hitting the “Palm Pounders” is cathartic on frustrating plays and absolutely exhilarating on great plays.  It provides ‘instant gratification’ throughout the game and gives a feeling that their clapping really matters to their team winning!

I’m not sure if you were hinting at this or not Alanah…  and you all know I’m never one to go low brow with a conversation *cough cough,* but are they calling the fans smart phone addicts or chronic masturbators?  I’m not sure you could read this ad to a high school class (or a room full of people like me) and not draw some snickering.  This must be the same promotional company that helped the Blue Jackets dream up Boomer, the definitely-not-suggestive cannon mascot.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 08/09/11 at 11:12 AM ET

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About Canucks and Beyond

Alanah McGinley has been blogging hockey since 2003 (with a notable gap in time through 2010, kicking it with new baby Lucy while living knee-deep in chaos while reading "parenting for complete idiots" during every spare minute) sharing opinions, rants and not-so-deep thoughts with anyone who will listen.

In addition to writing Canucks & Beyond and helping manage Kukla's Korner, Alanah was one of the founders and co-hosts of The Crazy Canucks Podcast. She has contributed pieces to FoxSports.com and the New York Times Slapshot blog, as well as other stray destinations in cyberspace.

So that's me. Who the hell are you? smile

Email: am@kuklaskorner.com

Alanah's Twitter: [@alanah1]