Kukla's Korner

Canucks and Beyond

Category: obnoxious-hockey-blogging

One Last Kick

The final chapter in the 82 part nightmare that has been the Vancouver Canucks 2007-08 season, unfolds tonight at GM Place. A downer of a game for Canucks fans, but still worth watching for a couple reasons.

For one, a win against the Flames increases the likelihood they become Shark-bait in the first round of the playoffs.  And for another, it’s likely to be the goodbye game for Trevor Linden and possibly Markus Naslund.  (Miss 604 suggests we consider it the Unofficial Trevor Linden Appreciation Day. Good plan.)

Anyway, about Calgary. 

Fortunately I was at the Vancouver Airport yesterday and managed to snap a photo of Dion Phaneuf, who clearly wasn’t expecting any cameras to be around. Apparently he borrowed some of his girlfriend’s clothing in his hurry to make the team plane?

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Filed in: obnoxious hockey blogging, vancouver canucks, | Canucks and Beyond | Permalink
  Tags: calgary+flames, dion+phaneuf, elisha+cuthbert, vancouver+canucks

The Hockey Gods Are Ruthless

Vancouver vs Calgary: a.k.a. How to Lose—With Style

First: Build a 2-Goal Lead
Make it heady and fun (2 goals in 12 seconds!). Make the Flames fans go mute. Make the Sportsnet West announcers sound so depressed you want to send them a gift basket later.  Good times!

Second: Flirt with Disaster
Get outshot 672 to 3 in the second period. Let in one goal.  It’s now 2-1—you’re just keeping it interesting!

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Filed in: obnoxious hockey blogging, vancouver canucks, | Canucks and Beyond | Permalink
  Tags: colorado+avalanche, hockey+gods, vancouver+canucks

Policy Proposal

From Ben Kuzma at The Province:

The Canucks have a plan in place when the call comes that Luongo is about to become a father when his wife, Gina, gives birth back in Florida to a girl. She is due the first week of April and the team finishes its regular-season schedule with games at GM Place on March 30 and April 1, 3 and 5. Which, of course, makes it interesting and brings us back to Sanford.

Babies in April… bloody hell, that’s irritating.  Perhaps someone should start a “Please Knock Up Your Wife October-January Only” policy for NHL teams?

Just a random thought (albeit a rude one). But still… something to consider for the next round of CBA negotiations.


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c.2003 Denver and Things Are Looking Up

It was 2003 that I first crowned the Avs the Evil Empire (in my own sweetly-quaint hockey shorthand).  But things change, of course, and the truth is that hockey hasn’t been quite the same for this Canucks fan in recent years.

Scoring, blah. Shootouts, blah. Big saves? Big deal. Coach of the Year? Pffft. Sometimes it all seems like one never-ending strand of mediocrity that occasionally resembles hockey, occasionally doesn’t. I mean, the games are often great, but my anticipation factor is lower than it used to be.

But now the Colorado Avalanche have decided to change all that.  It’s 2003 all over again, and I think I’m about to be reborn.

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Filed in: obnoxious hockey blogging, | Canucks and Beyond | Permalink
  Tags: colorado+avalanche, hockey+hate+is+back+in+style, peter+forsberg

Hockey Hate

Stumbling around on YouTube the other day, I think I came across The World’s Most Insecure NJ Devils Fan.  A collection of 26 videos, 15 of those are fully dedicated to the topic of hating Canucks fans (sweet geezus, Vancouver… what did you DO to this guy??) and most of the rest dedicated to hating the fans of other teams. 

While I can appreciate the pleasures of hockey team hatred (i.e. the Avs shall forever remain the “Evil Empire” in my mind, and the Wings aren’t far behind…) I’m not sure I’ll ever grasp the self-delusion of I’m-a-real-hockey-fan-and-you-aren’t. I mean, hell, a few of my favorite people are Avalanche and Wings fans. I worry about their mental health (obviously) but to each his own.

Regardless, I can still respect a good Photoshop effort as much as the next


hockey fan… and this screen capture of Roberto Luongo (created by The World’s Most Insecure NJ Devils Fan) has some potential:

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Filed in: dumb stuff, obnoxious hockey blogging, | Canucks and Beyond | Permalink
  Tags: roberto+luongo, youtube

Mike Ricci Hotness

Well, Christmas is over, so apparently it’s a good time to get down to being obnoxious and mean-spirited.  From ESPN’s Page 2:

imageThere are athletes like David Beckham, Tom Brady and Michael Jordan who rise to fame behind their talent and good looks. And then there are those like Otis Nixon, Sam Cassell and Gheorghe Muresan, who become known for being horribly, horribly, horribly ugly.

Ricci fell into the latter camp. Although that association besmirches the likes of Nixon, Cassell and Muresan. Ricci was uglier. Much uglier.

In fact, if you created a person out of the worst genes of those three, raised it in a kennel, beat it about the face every night with a hockey stick and never washed its hair, you’d get Mike Ricci on the day of his high school senior picture.

Poor Mike… although admittedly, he really doesn’t take great photos.

*photo in this post found on TSN

Filed in: obnoxious hockey blogging, | Canucks and Beyond | Permalink
  Tags: mike+ricci, nhl

What, Me Worry?

imageSo last night, the AHL’s own Vancouver Canucks managed to whoop the reigning Stanley Cup Champions (well, technically it was maybe 30 minutes of “whoop” and 30 minutes of “please don’t kill us” but it worked out, so, whatever…) and tonight they face the Sharks.

What, me worry? Never. For one thing, the Canucks have the formidable, daunting superstar-to-be Jason Jaffray on their side (26 year old former ECHLer, first NHL game of his career last night, first NHL goal, and first star of the game. What’s not to love?).  And then there’s Curtis Sanford (a.k.a. “the second coming of Patrick Roy”, a pronouncement that both pleases and nauseates me). Looking good.

But of course the Sharks deserve respect.  Even forgetting their hockey skills for a moment, I was perusing San Jose’s game day notes today and was well-entertained by some random trivia. Such as:

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Filed in: nhl general, obnoxious hockey blogging, vancouver canucks, | Canucks and Beyond | Permalink
  Tags: jason+jaffray, san+jose+sharks, vancouver+canucks

Is Kukla Cuckoo?

To explain, Paul’s NHL.com blog yesterday made the following statements:

Four-on-four, bigger ice, shrink the goalie pads, bigger nets, heated blades … on and on I could go.

I say no to all. No to any changes. No, no, no!

Our game is just fine. Maybe it is time for the coaches and players to decide how to beat the trap. Some teams have no problem with it, why can’t the others figure it out?

Then today, I read Dave Pollard’s response at Hockey.com, in his post titled “Kukla cuckoo if he thinks NHL will change itself”:

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Filed in: nhl general, obnoxious hockey blogging, | Canucks and Beyond | Permalink

Petty Disputes & Goalie Aggravations

A mild disagreement.  As a Wings fan, Kukla is convinced this cover for the latest edition of The Hockey News looks great:


But I’ve proposed what I think is a reasonable, much more interesting alternative for a future editions.  Perhaps THN will be able to bank it for later…

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Filed in: obnoxious hockey blogging, vancouver canucks, | Canucks and Beyond | Permalink
  Tags: detroit+red+wings, henrik+zetterberg, vancouver+canucks

Bad Ideas from the Leafs

From the CP via TSN,

Teenage forward Jiri Tlusty of the Toronto Maple Leafs issued a statement Tuesday night regretting that pictures taken of him found their way on the Internet.  The pictures were apparently taken while the Czech native was still playing for the Ontario Hockey League’s Sault Ste. Marie Greyhounds last season.

“I used poor judgment in this instance last season and I have learned a valuable lesson,” Tlusty said in a statement released by the Leafs following Tuesday’s 4-3 overtime loss to Montreal. “It will not happen again and I have no further comment.”

Leafs general manager John Ferguson also issued a statement.

“Photographs were posted recently on the Internet without Jiri’s knowledge or consent,” said Ferguson. “He made a naive mistake as a teenager. It’s a lesson in how something private can easily become very public in the Internet age. Hopefully it’s a lesson that other people will learn from as well.”

You mean taking nude photos of yourself with your camera phone and sending them to people is a bad idea?

But frankly, there are more important matters at stake. I mean, if 19 year olds can’t take suggestive photos of themselves and put them on the internet, Facebook and MySpace might both completely collapse.

Filed in: obnoxious hockey blogging, | Canucks and Beyond | Permalink
  Tags: jiri+tlusty, toronto+maple+leafs

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About Canucks and Beyond

Alanah McGinley has been blogging hockey since 2003 (with a notable gap in time through 2010, kicking it with new baby Lucy while living knee-deep in chaos while reading "parenting for complete idiots" during every spare minute) sharing opinions, rants and not-so-deep thoughts with anyone who will listen.

In addition to writing Canucks & Beyond and helping manage Kukla's Korner, Alanah was one of the founders and co-hosts of The Crazy Canucks Podcast. She has contributed pieces to FoxSports.com and the New York Times Slapshot blog, as well as other stray destinations in cyberspace.

So that's me. Who the hell are you? smile

Email: am@kuklaskorner.com

Alanah's Twitter: [@alanah1]


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