Kukla's Korner

Canucks and Beyond

Category: dumb-stuff

Canucks-Related Misery

Last night’s Philly/Van game. Listening to “Jagr has the puck…” calls was surreal enough, but much of the rest of the game was outright painful. Hopefully the pre-season ends soon for these guys? (On the other side of the equation, hearing the words “goalie controversy” five minutes into the season sort of makes some of us want to smack around the entire Canucks fanbase.)

Today’s Canucks/Wings game.  It appears that some Canucks fans (i.e. me) aren’t able to watch the Vancouver/Detroit game tonight.  Apparently MLB (and its spry little scurrying squirrel... wth?) is dominating our regular Sportsnet SD and HD channels.

This has forced tonight’s hockey matchup between the Red Wings and Canucks up onto some stratospheric backup channel on the TV dial (well, they used to be called dials… back when I had 80’s hair), and one that apparently I can’t get. This is despite the fact I pay more for my cable each month than I do for health insurance. For my entire family.

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Filed in: dumb stuff, vancouver canucks, | Canucks and Beyond | Permalink
  Tags: roberto+luongo, sportsnet

Yay. Fashion Advice From NHL Draft Picks

I’m not someone who thinks sports figures should hesitate to share their personal opinions. Say what you want, I figure, as long as you’re willing to own it.  But Florida Panthers draft choice Rocco Grimaldi might be stepping a little outside his expertise in telling girls how to dress, no? 

Stringing together a few of Grimaldi’s Tweets yesterday, for example:

Ladies, you can help us guys out big time. Put your boobs away and everything else that is hanging out. Guys have a hard enough time with… that temptation without u helping it along. When did being a beautiful girl become dressing with the least amount of clothes on? When did… what u wear become a competition? Before you dress ask, “Does this outfit honor God, does it honor my body, does it help serve/love my… brothers? If it’s a no to any of those questions, then u shouldn’t wear that outfit #ThinkBeforeYouDress

To be fair, he has a few words for how men treat women, too. (i.e. “Guys, when did sleeping with every girl u can make u a man? Anyone can lay with a woman…”)  Umm. Okay.

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Filed in: dumb stuff, nhl general, | Canucks and Beyond | Permalink
 

Ron MacLean Rockin’ It

Photoshop or not? Regardless, life is too short not to post this. From Deadspin:

There’s a photo of Hockey Night In Canada host Ron MacLean making the rounds on Twitter and HFBoards, and the hockey community is split on its legitimacy. (The awesomeness community is unanimous on its awesomeness.)

image

Filed in: dumb stuff, | Canucks and Beyond | Permalink
  Tags: cbc, hnic, ron+maclean

Antropov Gets Frisky

From Chris Dart at The Score:

Users have already found a glitch in EA’s new NHL ‘12, and it’s kind of amazing.

Apparently, if the game’s version of Nik Antropov falls on top of another player, he’ll spend about 15 seconds impersonating either Josh Koscheck or my friend’s pug, Rambo, and vigorously dry-hump the man underneath him.

The video below has been around for a couple weeks apparently, but this is the first that I’ve run across it.

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Filed in: dumb stuff, | Canucks and Beyond | Permalink
  Tags: ea+sports, nik+antropov

Canucks Training Camp and Other Adventures

The Canucks are gradually reducing their roster, and players who have been released thus far read like a who’s who of the hockey world… gone so far are defencemen Sawyer Hannay and Marc Anthony Zanetti, and goalie David Honzik.  Shocking stuff.

So, who remains?

Flames facing a Canucks team with Steve Begin, Anders Eriksson, Todd Fedoruk and Manny Legace. Is it 2001?

—Randy Sportak, Calgary Sun, via Twitter

Definitely peculiar when you put it like that. Though in a world where the likes of Russ Courtnall, Brad May, Boyd Devereaux and others are going to be competitive ice dancing in the coming weeks, is it really that odd?

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Filed in: dumb stuff, vancouver canucks, | Canucks and Beyond | Permalink
 

PSA: Please Avoid the Clap

Anatomy of a press release.

First, we have the “look who’s using our product!” video.  Just to bring you all up to speed, here’s a news broadcast demonstrating this thing (the HTH Clapper), showing footage from Sioux Falls Stampede Hockey:

But it’s the press release that’s following this video clip around that has got to be the most unintentionally-tragic thing I’ve read in ages:

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Filed in: dumb stuff, | Canucks and Beyond | Permalink
 

Dan Carcillo: A Confused Powerhouse

“I’m actually pretty excited to play them because there are a few guys there that I think played a little bit outside of their shoes.”

“I think I can keep most of those guys in check when we play them this year.”

—Dan Carcillo, on the Vancouver Canucks (via Vancouver Sun)

Carcillo, newly signed by the Chicago Blackhawks, is prepared to single-handedly keep the Canucks in check this season.

On the other hand, given that Tanner Glass and Raffi Torres are apparently near the top of his hit list (in his comments today), Carcillo might not be entirely aware of who actually plays for the Canucks these days…

Filed in: dumb stuff, vancouver canucks, | Canucks and Beyond | Permalink
  Tags: dan+carcillo

A New Goaltending Strategy in Colorado

From the Colorado Avalanche, via their Twitter. Seriously.

image

Jose Theodore is probably looking pretty good about now, hey Denver? wink

*h/t to Brian Stubits at CBS Sports Eye on Hockey

Filed in: dumb stuff, | Canucks and Beyond | Permalink
  Tags: mascots, planking

Lightning to Feature Lightning in Arena’s Lighting

There’s some techno-wizardry going on in Tampa Bay’s arena upgrades. From Gunaxin (found via Frozen Notes):

As cool as it is that they are bringing a real pipe organ into the building, something which does greatly enhance and authenticate your hockey experience, the most notable improvement to the building for those of us not living in Tampa Bay is the fact real lightning will be used during games.

Tesla coils will be added on each side of the scoreboard which will be capable of shooting actual lightning some 25 feet. As the Lightning’s CEO assessed, “How can you be named the Lightning and not have a signature effect in the building?”

Gunaxin also has a video of the type of coils being installed, demonstrating the lightning effects.  A pretty cool way for the home team to celebrate a goal, I have to admit.

If only my Canucks could get something this slick going on… but somehow I doubt anyone really wants to see a 6,000 lb whale launched from an air cannon and fired through the roof every time Daniel Sedin scores a goal.

(But then again…)

Filed in: dumb stuff, vancouver canucks, | Canucks and Beyond | Permalink
 

Jumping the Shark

imageThe expression may be ‘jumping the shark’ but since its origins with Fonzie, it’s not too often that it’s an actual (well, actual-fake) shark who’s jumping the shark. (Whew—say that three times fast.)  And in this case, it is, in fact, a shark. Who’s jumping. From a Hyatt Regency hotel.  The SJ Sharks explain:

SAN JOSE – S.J. Sharkie is directing his knack for exciting death-defying stunts towards a good cause.

On Friday, Aug. 26, the San Jose Sharks mascot is participating in The Breathe Extreme Challenge, a fundraiser to fight asthma, lung cancer, emphysema, COPD and other forms of lung disease. He is going to rappel 15 stories down the face of the Hyatt Regency Santa Clara.

I’d beg some reader out there to photoshop this for a laugh, but I suspect the reality of actually witnessing a giant shark-stuffed-with-a-man rappelling down the side of a hotel will exceed any and all of the truly great photoshop efforts you might come up with.

Filed in: dumb stuff, | Canucks and Beyond | Permalink
 

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About Canucks and Beyond

Alanah McGinley has been blogging hockey since 2003 (with a notable gap in time through 2010, kicking it with new baby Lucy while living knee-deep in chaos while reading "parenting for complete idiots" during every spare minute) sharing opinions, rants and not-so-deep thoughts with anyone who will listen.

In addition to writing Canucks & Beyond and helping manage Kukla's Korner, Alanah was one of the founders and co-hosts of The Crazy Canucks Podcast. She has contributed pieces to FoxSports.com and the New York Times Slapshot blog, as well as other stray destinations in cyberspace.

So that's me. Who the hell are you? smile

Email: am@kuklaskorner.com

Alanah's Twitter: [@alanah1]

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