Kukla's Korner

The Burgundy Letter

Changing teams and fantasy hockey.

The move from Atlanta to Winnipeg has had me thinking over the last couple of months - how tied down am I to the Avalanche? And what would happen with my allegiances in the unlikely event of the Avs getting moved from Denver to become, say, the Las Vegas Indians (we rob you twice - only once on the ice)? In the best of all worlds, I’d still feel the ties to my former Avs and become a fan of the new team, wherever they would end up. But when the Thrashers left Atlanta, many fans considered changing or even changed their favourite team to another one. So which teams would be in a good spot to become my new number one, if I ever changed?

Join me after the break for a tongue-in-cheek discussion/roast of which teams I would have to consider if the Avs were ever relocated, and some fantasy hockey. I could really use your help.

Well, first off, you can’t really go with a team that’s won a Stanley Cup in the last five years, out of fear of being considered a bandwagon fan. Thus the Pittsburgh Penguins, Chicago Blackhawks, Boston Bruins, Anaheim Ducks and unfortunately

the Detroit Red Wings. I put unfortunately in there because they won a cup, not because I’d have liked to be a fan. I actually don’t mind the Wings, being a Swede and all, but my father is a Wings fan. So you can see why that’s an unlikely destination. It’s one of the few teen rebellions I cling to even as an adult.

Then there’s the indifferent crowd. Carolina, Tampa Bay, Columbus, Florida, Buffalo, Phoenix, Minnesota, New York Islanders and Nashville. My thinking is that you probably have to live in one of those cities mentioned to even bother. I’ve never seen someone wearing a Florida Panthers cap who was older than 12 years old and didn’t know his hockey, but thought the Panther was cool. And Columbus. If he was in Toronto or Montreal, Rick Nash would’ve been one of the league’s superstars. As it is, you just want to hug him, stroke his hair, and tell him everything will be alright when he becomes a UFA in 2018. At which point he’d break into sobs. And becoming a Phoenix fan at this point - really? You’d be changing teams again within the year, going over this process all over again. Buffalo? You got money now? Good on you. Go play in a corner in the northeast division.

Don’t mistake my kidding for dislike or some such. No, my dislike is reserved for teams considered rivals of the current Colorado Avalanche. Edmonton Oilers (although I’m a bit indifferent as well), Calgary Flames, Vancouver Canucks and the Detroit Red Wings (again). Oh, and the New Jersey Devils. As a Roy fan, I could never bring myself to cheer for Martin Brodeur. I actually like Iginla, and Vancouver’s green men during the playoffs were a riot (too soon?).

That leaves us with the Kings, Flyers, Rangers, Canadiens, Senators, Blues, Stars, Sharks, Jets, Capitals and the Maple Leafs.

Senators - you have a centurion for a logo. That’s just goofy. You should have a guy in a dress with a purple sash, but that’s not very intimidating is it? Maybe if he has a scroll with “higher taxes” written on it?

Maple Leafs - I love the colours, love the team - but the fans have the worst trade proposals on all of HFBoards and are constantly overrating their own players. But I could totally see myself cheering for the Leafs. Except, of course, I’d like to see a cup in my lifetime.

What? I said I didn’t want to be considered a bandwagon fan. That doesn’t mean I don’t want to see a cup every now and then.

The Flyers, Blues, Stars, Sharks and Capitals kind of fall under also-rans. You guys get so close to a cup, and then you lose it all and start all over again, trying to find another combination of players that will actually succeed in the playoffs. Cool jerseys, good players

except for the Stars, and some history of choking, amiright Ovie, amiright?

. Flyers, you guys are bullies. Sorry, but you even call yourselves bullies. And I could never really cheer for a team knowing that at any time Pronger might give me a wedgie.

I’m so happy for you, Winnipeg. Won’t cheer for you, but it’s good to have a team again, isn’t it? Or what passes for one. Byfuglien is like a quarter of a team on his own, so that’s something I guess.

The Rangers - you have Henrik Lundqvist. I’ve actually met and performed in front of the guy (no double entendres intended). He does cheesy shampoo commercials, but the guy is awesome and a great goaltender. Classic logo and jerseys. If you weren’t run by Saruman the White, I’d have to consider it.

The Kings - good jersey choice, my here Wayne Gretzky played for you, and you have been on the verge of something big since ‘93. Can’t really put it together though, can you. You remind me of every relationship I’ve had with a girl except my fiancee - you make a great best friend but you’re never going to get to go all the way. Like always, I’m secretly cheering for you to get the girl/Cup for once.

Montreal Canadiens - this is an official flirt. Love the logo, love the colours. Not a fan of Scott Gomez. If the Avs weren’t around, I’d have to give you serious consideration. You have a whole team with players of my own size always trying to prove that they’re better than people give them credit for. I can relate to that. Also, short guys don’t get tall girls. So I’d feel right at home with your girlfriends. Not that I’d ever get up close to them. But I have binoculars. And a camouflage looking like a bush. And your home adresses.

That got weird. But yeah, if I wasn’t an Avs fan, I’d probably be a Montreal Canadiens fan.

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On to fantasy hockey - I just drafted my one and only yahoo fantasy hockey team today, and would love some response from you guys. I truly suck at this. Here’s my roster (notice the complete lack of Avs players…):

Centers: Sidney Crosby (bench), Mike Richards, Jason Spezza (bench), Derek Roy
Left Wing: Alex Ovechkin, James Neal
Right Wing: David Backes, Martin Havlat
Defense: Zdeno Chara, Nicklas Lidstrom, Victor Hedman, Alexander Edler, Marc Staal (bench)
Goaltenders: Pekka Rinne, Craig Anderson, Tuukka Rask (bench)

Filed in: , , , | The Burgundy Letter | Permalink
  Tags: colorado+avalanche, fantasy+hockey, martin+krantz, nhl

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