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Above the Glass

It’s a Hockey Christmas, Charlie Brown

The other day when Paul put out the call to get a positive conversation going, I was thinking of jumping in the fray with World Juniors and how excited Portland was that three of our players were in the running for Team Canada. But alas, all three were cut and sent back to Portland. That’s how I came to be sitting on my couch last night drowning my sorrows by watching something that always makes me feel warm and toasty: Charlie Brown’s Christmas. Now, you know I’ll find a way to connect ordinary things to hockey, and last night was no exception. That being said, what would happen if you translated the plot and characters from this beloved holiday special to hockey?

I think it would go a little something like this:

Lights and Display Contest: Much like Snoopy and his first prize-winning doghouse, this refers to the playoffs, in which teams dress their best players and give them the best ice time, and lay down all the grit, determination and perserverence they have in pursuit of something even shinier than all those Christmas lights.

5 cents, please: The psychological help offered to players to help them maintain their mental health and deal with addiction, anger management or other issues.

Linus’ Blanket: The kooky pre-game rituals that hockey players stick to like a security blanket, like eating certain peanut butter and jelly on their pre-game snack/sandwich, naps, video games or in the case of Sidney Crosby, walking through certain entrances when entering the rink.

Sally: Named for her shameless flirting with Linus and her blonde curly locks, this would be the nickname for puckbunnies.

Schroeder: The pre-game and intermission entertainment. But under no circumstances whatsoever will said entertainment include “Moves Like Jagger.”

Snoopy: The nickname for a team’s mascot.

Peppermint Patty: Since she’s an athlete, slightly clueless and can be a tad bossy, she would be the NHL Commissioner. Marcie would be her trusted executive assistant and public relations handler.

Pigpen: The pile of used jerseys and gear piled up for washing after a game.

Charlie Brown: The scrappy underdog player who doesn’t score a lot of goals or stand out in junior, but nonetheless on the merit of his grit, determination and love of the game scratches and claws his way into the NHL and onto the starting lineup of a good team, and earns an NHL nomination award or two before it’s all said and done.

Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown!: The very end of the hockey season, at which time all the other teams who didn’t make it to the Stanley Cup final put all their disappointment and frustration aside to celebrate the two teams who made it to the final game of the Lights and Display Contest.

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Comments

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Here’s one vote for Peppermint Patty for NHL Comish ... How entertaining this would be!! Well done!

Posted by John Fisher from The Portland Rose Quarter on 12/16/11 at 04:51 PM ET

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Awesome article! You are so creative, Samantha!

Posted by MaryEllen from United States on 12/16/11 at 05:01 PM ET

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Love it!  Charlie Brown is my favorite Christmas special.

I was sad, too—hoped Joe Morrow would make Team Canada.

Posted by Lex Talionis on 12/16/11 at 05:38 PM ET

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As much as I love Charlie Brown, I can’t help but see him winding up a slapper for the GWG only to have Lucy poke check it away,

Also, at least once in the game, he’d have to take a severe check and have all his clothes fly off.

Posted by Sabby on 12/16/11 at 05:40 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Charlie Brown: The scrappy underdog player who doesn’t score a lot of goals or stand out in junior, but nonetheless on the merit of his grit, determination and love of the game scratches and claws his way into the NHL and onto the starting lineup of a good team, and earns an NHL nomination award or two before it’s all said and done.

So Dallas Drake then? 


As much as I love Charlie Brown, I can’t help but see him winding up a slapper for the GWG only to have Lucy poke check it away,

Priceless.  +19

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 12/16/11 at 06:11 PM ET

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Great article! I can’t wait to read more.

Posted by Daniel on 12/27/11 at 09:28 PM ET

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About Above the Glass

Welcome to Above the Glass, a definitive anti-expert’s guide to hockey. I started blogging in 2009 as part of an effort to learn all 87 rules in the NHL Rulebook in 107 days before the 2010 Olympics, 30 years after I discovered the sport. You can peruse the archival results here. Growing up in Arizona, I didn’t even know hockey existed until February 22, 1980, when the USA played Russia in the Olympics. And just like that, the game of the century changed my life. I still don’t quite understand the icing rule or which faceoff circle goes with what offense, but I do know that every aspect of hockey has something to teach us about life. That’s what you’ll find here, along with my unadulterated passion for the game.

I live in Portland, Oregon, home of the WHL’s Portland Winterhawks. I invite anyone who wants to know more about hockey in the Rose City to visit here, where I blog exclusively about the Winterhawks. I’ll post an occasional musing about the Hawks, the WHL and junior hockey here as well.

Follow me on Twitter: @AbovetheGlass

Email: samantha@kuklaskorner.com