Kukla's Korner

Above the Glass

Dear Santa,

I have been extra good this year, so I am writing with a few requests that I hope you can honor.  I am a humble hockey fan from Portland, and I’ve only been naughty on very special occasions when it was warranted, like yelling obscenities at the referees during the second period of Game 2 in the WHL finals this past spring. But I assure you, that was justified. Other than that, I have behaved myself and I have only a few hockey things that I would like this Christmas.

Here is my very short list. I will leave a plate of double chocolate chip cookies and chocolate milk for you.

A winning streak for Edmonton that lasts the rest of the season. I am sure if they beat a recent Stanley Cup winning team like Chicago by 9 – 2 once, they can do it again.  Perhaps they just need a few words of encouragement and good presents in their stockings.

A healthy Sidney Crosby back in the Penguins’ lineup. I’m sure by now you know what he can do when he is healthy and how much he contributes to the sport as a whole when he is at his very best. I believe lots of goals, assists and the Pens winning the Stanley Cup would all happen if he is restored to full health and playing status.  And P.S. if you could restore a few of their other players to full health, too, that would be appreciated. This is a team sport, after all, and the success of any team depends on their whole roster, not just one player.

A shiny object for Sven Bartschi and Team Switzerland at the World Juniors. I realize Canada must simply take back what is theirs and win the gold medal this year, but I’m sure Team Switzerland would appreciate something bronze or silver to take back home.

A stoppage of play on bumps to the noggins. I know head hits and/or injuries can’t be avoided in some cases and sometimes fighting simply must happen for a variety of reasons, but perhaps you could do something to help the league reduce these so entire starting lineups are not obliterated by head injuries.

More ice time for Ryan Johansen. I don’t mean to tell you how to do your job, but perhaps you could stop in Columbus and tell them they must give Ryan Johansen more ice time, or they’ll get a lump of coal in their stocking. More ice time means more pretty goals and plays and hat tricks and what not, and therefore, it also means winning. It worked quite well here in Portland, so I am confident it will work in Columbus.

Yours very truly,

Samantha

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HockeyFanOhio's avatar

A winning streak for Edmonton that lasts the rest of the season. I am sure if they beat a recent Stanley Cup winning team like Chicago by 9 – 2 once, they can do it again.  Perhaps they just need a few words of encouragement and good presents in their stockings.

Denied.  Now if you wish for a Wings winning streak, I’ll see what I can do. 

A healthy Sidney Crosby back in the Penguins’ lineup. I’m sure by now you know what he can do when he is healthy and how much he contributes to the sport as a whole when he is at his very best. I believe lots of goals, assists and the Pens winning the Stanley Cup would all happen if he is restored to full health and playing status.  And P.S. if you could restore a few of their other players to full health, too, that would be appreciated. This is a team sport, after all, and the success of any team depends on their whole roster, not just one player.

Sorry, Crosby is on the naught list.

A shiny object for Sven Bartschi and Team Switzerland at the World Juniors. I realize Canada must simply take back what is theirs and win the gold medal this year, but I’m sure Team Switzerland would appreciate something bronze or silver to take back home.

OK, no problem.  (Makes a note in the Switzerland notebook.)

A stoppage of play on bumps to the noggins. I know head hits and/or injuries can’t be avoided in some cases and sometimes fighting simply must happen for a variety of reasons, but perhaps you could do something to help the league reduce these so entire starting lineups are not obliterated by head injuries.

Unfortunately it seems even Santa can’t do some things.

More ice time for Ryan Johansen. I don’t mean to tell you how to do your job, but perhaps you could stop in Columbus and tell them they must give Ryan Johansen more ice time, or they’ll get a lump of coal in their stocking. More ice time means more pretty goals and plays and hat tricks and what not, and therefore, it also means winning. It worked quite well here in Portland, so I am confident it will work in Columbus.

And again, the stupidity of the Columbus staff trumps Santa’s power of goodness.  Sometimes people are just too stupid. 

Merry Christmas!!

Posted by HockeyFanOhio from Central Ohio on 12/20/11 at 10:39 PM ET

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About Above the Glass

Welcome to Above the Glass, a definitive anti-expert’s guide to hockey. I started blogging in 2009 as part of an effort to learn all 87 rules in the NHL Rulebook in 107 days before the 2010 Olympics, 30 years after I discovered the sport. You can peruse the archival results here. Growing up in Arizona, I didn’t even know hockey existed until February 22, 1980, when the USA played Russia in the Olympics. And just like that, the game of the century changed my life. I still don’t quite understand the icing rule or which faceoff circle goes with what offense, but I do know that every aspect of hockey has something to teach us about life. That’s what you’ll find here, along with my unadulterated passion for the game.

I live in Portland, Oregon, home of the WHL’s Portland Winterhawks. I invite anyone who wants to know more about hockey in the Rose City to visit here, where I blog exclusively about the Winterhawks. I’ll post an occasional musing about the Hawks, the WHL and junior hockey here as well.

Follow me on Twitter: @AbovetheGlass

Email: samantha@kuklaskorner.com