Kukla's Korner

Above the Glass

The fan’s guide to proper hockey behavior

Yes, I know “proper” in a sport like hockey is somewhat subjective and open to interpretation, but still…there are just certain rules of the road we should all observe to ensure our mutual enjoyment of the game. Now, as fans we all know the basic rules of the road, and we drive safely. But I’m sure we’ve all seen and perhaps had a choice word or two with the small but mighty band of individuals who, shall we say, commit numerous moving violations over the course of a game. Like, for example, getting drunk before the game, wearing yellow shirts and sweatpants and performing a dance routine after every goal long after everyone else has sat back down and the puck has been dropped for the face off.  Inspired by a recent run-in with said individual, I’ve put together this handy reference guide on how to enjoy the game responsibly.

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From the Dub: #happybus

That’s the Twitter hashtag that junior hockey fans will often see in their Tweets after their team wins a road game. For the Portland Winterhawks, it usually means a rowdy bus, on which a really bad horror movie is usually shown. When you consider who the opponents are in the WHL, a road win is even more impressive. But that’s not stopping the Portland Winterhawks from barreling through the stretch run at high speed in pursuit of another championship season. Up next: a rematch tonight with the Tri-City Americans in Portland that could put the teams dead even in the U.S. Division. Sure, it’s a home game, but just like life, it’s still a happy bus moment and those don’t roll by every day. You have to enjoy the ride while you can. I have a few tips for how to do so.

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If hockey was like football

I must admit, I fell asleep during part of the Super Bowl yesterday, but I saw enough to know that I will probably never convert to being a football fan. Just as I was waking up from my catnap, the Patriots were allowing the Giants to score, and the Giants player who scored was purposefully trying not to, and in doing so he essentially fell down in the end zone. I thought maybe I was still asleep or it was an ad making fun of the game. But apparently there was a totally strategic reason for it, which I get. But once I woke up fully, it got me to thinking, what if goofy things like that or other football plays, rules and halftime entertainment happened in hockey?

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From the Dub: Pooh and Bother

If you tuned in to the CHL Top Prospects Game on Wednesday, you may have heard Derrick Pouliot’s name mentioned on average about every five seconds. Which will happen when you assist on the game winning goal and display some stellar play all around. The 18-year-old defenseman currently plays for the Portland Winterhawks and is currently sitting pretty right at number 10 among North American Skaters in the Central Scouting Midterm Rankings. You never know how things will work out, but I’d put my money down at this point that Derrick will go in the first round of the 2012 Entry Draft. But for the time being here in Portland, the boy who is also affectionately known around these parts as Pooh Bear is going about the business of being a teenage junior hockey sensation. So here are my top reasons why you most definitely should bother tuning in to his frequency.

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Bowling with the NHL’s future: the winter edition

I went bowling for the second time in my whole life this past Monday with some of the Portland Winterhawks. As I did last time, I learned a few lessons, picked up a few good tips for better bowling, learned what to watch on TV and finally, how to explain an injury in the politically correct WHL-approved way. And once again, I’ve found that when it comes to the NHL’s future, you are what you bowl.

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Tips for staying classy in hockey

Over the past two weekends, the Portland Winterhawks were subjected to the uglier side of hockey in two back-to-back losing games with the Spokane Chiefs and a routing of the Seattle Thunderbirds. These included an incident in which security stood idly by while the players were put at risk by a drunk fan, a scoreboard that read Garbage instead of Portland and verbally kicking a goalie while he was down. I would have been twerked just as much if it was a different team and not my hometown boys, because said behavior wasn’t just an insult to my team. It was an insult to this sport and everything that is good about it. Which got me to thinking about the tips I would give to fellow fans about how to stay classy in hockey.

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What my birthday taught me about hockey

Well, of course other than the obvious: I share my January 26 birthday with Wayne Gretzky, so obviously hockey was my destiny one way or another. Now, normally I write about what hockey can teach us about life, but in this case I have also realized that getting older (I’ll be 44 on Thursday) has taught me a few things about the sport. Like, for example, my advice for what to do (or not) if the anthems of your youth are now being played as elevator/background music in a store or office building.

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Some wins are bigger than others

Like the Tampa Bay Lightining’s 5-3 win over the Boston Bruins on Tuesday. Or the one where Ryan Johansen helped the the Columbus Blue Jackets to a 4-2 win over the Edmonton Oilers. And finally, here in the Pacific Northwest, the Portland Winterhawks slayed a Goliath of their own by beating the Tri-City Americans 5 -1 in a franchise record-breaking home win. So, why is it that one game can matter more than all the rest put together? I think I’ve figured out part of the answer.

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The moral of the hockey story

In addition to being a full-bore hockey fan, I’m also a full scale sci-fi nerd. Which is how I came to be watching the Firefly marathon on the Science Channel yesterday whilst hunkering down for a blizzard here in Oregon. And it was then that I realized many of the morals of Firefly’s stories can be applied to hockey. If you’re new to this blog, welcome and one thing to know about me: I’ll find hockey truths in everything. Including 12 some odd episodes of a cult favorite sci-fi/Western TV series that was grounded before it had a chance to fly.

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From the Dub: to market the WHL goes

Tuesday was trade deadline day here in the WHL, where more than a dozen teams picked up a few things, like new captains (Vancouver Giants), NHL talent that may or may not return to the Dub (Tri-City Americans) and of course, Bantam Draft picks. Today’s entry is a fan’s guide to the wildest, weirdest and biggest trades that have reshaped the league’s rosters for the second half of the season and playoffs.

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About Above the Glass

Welcome to Above the Glass, a definitive anti-expert’s guide to hockey. I started blogging in 2009 as part of an effort to learn all 87 rules in the NHL Rulebook in 107 days before the 2010 Olympics, 30 years after I discovered the sport. You can peruse the archival results here. Growing up in Arizona, I didn’t even know hockey existed until February 22, 1980, when the USA played Russia in the Olympics. And just like that, the game of the century changed my life. I still don’t quite understand the icing rule or which faceoff circle goes with what offense, but I do know that every aspect of hockey has something to teach us about life. That’s what you’ll find here, along with my unadulterated passion for the game.

I live in Portland, Oregon, home of the WHL’s Portland Winterhawks. I invite anyone who wants to know more about hockey in the Rose City to visit here, where I blog exclusively about the Winterhawks. I’ll post an occasional musing about the Hawks, the WHL and junior hockey here as well.

Follow me on Twitter: @AbovetheGlass

Email: samantha@kuklaskorner.com

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