Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

You Can’t Always Get What You Want

But, allegedly and according to Mick, providence somehow assists in providing what your spiritual advisors determine to be your greatest need.


Because I’d say we have the whole “wants” thing covered.  Now? Well, now it’s up to Tick Tock to determine the “needs”.

Uncle Mike says he’s helping.

I already submitted my list this morning to Ken Holland.

That’s courtesy of the Freep, the transcript of Babcock’s WDFN interview.  I saw that yesterday and immediately thought what you did.  I need to see that list. The 19 must have access to it.  We deserve it. 

So we sent the A2Y crack research staff to JLA, on a mission.  Get your frigging hands on that list.

And they did.  Late last night, while most of you were sleeping and others were pining, the interns put it all on the line and snuck into Tick Tock’s office. 


Disturbing? Perhaps.  It is what it is.  Let’s analyze.

Uncle Mike says he needs a shooter and there are a few on the market.  The merits of bringing in another Swede have been analyzed. The Cap would support it. Niyo says it’s in the plans.  Sundin’s hungry for a Cup and he’s probably already visited Novi. 

But I have reservations.  I’m not sure I like how the whole deal in TO played out around the trade deadline.  If Sundin’s so starving for a Cup, why not accept a deal and help the team he was so allegedly loyal to?  That always bothered me.  Then again, maybe—like the rest of us—he can’t stand the Leafs.  Maybe he’s happy leaving them with nothing in return. 

What would Sundin bring?  A huge, difference-making presence on the second line.  Franzen, Filppula, Sundin?  Like the look of that? I know you do.  All depends on the cash.  He’s got a chance to once again prove he really wants a shot.  Take less and join the Dynasty? Or head to the bank and play in front of the wine sippers at the Ass Can, or in San Jose with Toddy.  Swedes, Novi, Cups or cash.  Your choice big boy.

But if not Sundin, how about Fedorov?  Shut up.  You think I wasn’t going there? Is this your first time visiting?  You’re damn right I want him back.  A gamble? Yes.  Expensive? I think not.  Older, Cupless for six years like the rest of us were and…maybe most importantly…in search of a place where he can go to cement his legacy, firm up his reputation as something other than a malcontent who took off because he wasn’t “the man”. 

What would Fedorov bring?  Not as much, offensively, as Sundin.  But a great presence on the second unit PP, defensive responsibility, still a great shot and a huge contributor to a puck possession game. 

Kenny says he’s got the money.  We believe him.  I think it boils down to those two, if any at all.  Temptation can be dangerous Kenny.  Dangerous. But worth it if you’re smart. 

And if a UFA is in the cards? Somebody’s gotta go.  Drake is probably done. We already know Hartigan’s gone, little bitch.  See ya.  Unfortunately Downey probably is too.  Mac stays. Helm stays.  I think Abbadaba’s headed to GR.  That frigging Finn. I can never remember his name.  Let’s pretend he’s a nugget and a keeper.  And we take a look:

Maltby/Kopecky/McCarty/Helm/The Finn Dude

What? Woops. No Sammy.  That’s right. No Sammy.  Due to be paid 1.2 next year, then he’s a UFA.  Prime trade bait.  Maybe at the draft.  But I’ll tell you, I’m not as sold on getting rid of him as I was in, say, February.  William Tell proved a bit of worth in the playoffs. Some timely goals, a little violence here and there and a sound checker. 

But I’ve got a sneaking suspicion that if Kenny’s gonna roll the dice on a UFA, Sidewinder’s saying sayonara.  And that’s alliteration bitches.

Health. Uncle Mike scribbled that he wants a good doctor.  He was being funny and we all realize that because we know that quirky bastard’s sense of humor by now.  But, we’ve got a summer of recovery ahead.  Homer’s groin.  Hank’s back and probably wrist.  Filppula’s knee. Chelios’ knee and whatever else is ailing him.  All those plus the stuff Tick Tock’s not telling us.  And a real short recovery time before the frigging madhouse in TC in September.

It’s my understanding that a deal for Zetterberg can get done as early as 1 minute after midnight on 1 July.  Knowing Holland, the contract’s already written up, approved by both sides and just waiting for some ink.  How much?  Here’s how much.  6.7.  Exactly the same as Datsyuk’s.  It will go down as the biggest bargain the NHL has ever seen.  While Malkin rakes in his 9 million, Zetterberg takes the discount because he’s a team guy.  He said he would and we’re holding him to it while his agent squirms.

But there are other concerns, as you know.  Fil’s an RFA.  Franzen a UFA next year.  Deals could very well be in place for each of them too.  Busy, busy, busy.  No golf for you Kenny.  No trips to South Florida.  Unless that means a visit with another Finn who’s still embarrassed about a certain video.  Send me down there.  I’ll bring him back.  No I won’t.  Jokinen, and it hurts to say this, isn’t in the cards either.  I understand that now.  I’m over it.  Mostly.

Stories out of Pittsburgh indicate Ryan Malone was playing Games 5 and 6 with a broken pelvis, cracked spine, two working toes and shattered kneecaps.

No. I’m lying.  But there is this.

Malone and the Penguins are believed to be far apart on a new contract. He is expected to lean toward testing the free-agent market, where the Columbus Blue Jackets will likely make a play for his services - possibly with an offer near $5 million annually over five years.

Stunned.  Stop.  Hold it.  Look.  I like that whole “stunned” thing.  And, yeah, I’m going to steal it and use it from time to time. I know where it came from, and I give them full credit.  It’s too good, too simple and too easy to use not to make it mine every once in a while.  I haven’t asked for permission, but I think they’ll give it to me. 

You think Uncle Mike doesn’t have Malone on his list?  Are you frigging kidding me?  If anyone in the league is his kind of player it’s Malone.  Columbus?  Oh. Ok.  You think Ryan Malone is going to visit the cusp, then head off to Columbus for free BJs?  Well, again, tempting I’m sure.  But here’s the deal Ryan. Come to Detroit and you’ll get 8 per year. That’s 8 more than an average Dive fan gets per lifetime.  And, hey, 4 of those you’ll get and be able to walk away right after, no questions asked.  Who can turn that down?

Who, Kenny, is going to bring Uncle Mike his Tab and his pigs in a blanket?  Who’s going to replace McLellan?  Who’s going to run the power play and the offense?  Let’s not pretend this is a loss that isn’t being fretted about, at least a little.  And finding his relief may be the most interesting turn of events over the next three to four weeks.  Of course, considering the lukewarm power play during the playoffs?  I’m just sayin’.

As promised, I’m out.  Taking a vacation from blogging.  Three weeks at least.  I’m tired and cranky.  Summer calls.  I’m looking at a no-later-than date of 15 July for a return.

Or it could be tomorrow if something merits my attention. 

I do have one more thing in store for you. One final Live Blog to end all LB’s.  It’ll be posted tonite some time.  A summer-long, insert your adventures, community of 19 juvenile idiots journal. 

And remember, if nothing pans out this summer.  If Tick Tock stands pat. If Sammy stays and activity is low…it’s because Holland decided that’s what’s best.  And this summer, the 11th Summer of Stanley, we’re giving him the benefit of the doubt. 



Filed in: | Abel to Yzerman | Permalink
  Tags: abbadabbadoo, babcock, datsyuk, fedorov, franzen, helm, holland, mccarty, ryan+malone, samuelsson, sundin, zetterberg


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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com