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Abel to Yzerman

With 11 Days Left Until Kenny’s 30 Critical Days of Summer: We’re Digging

Helene St. James’ amazing powers of deduction and her ability to text and tweet simultaneously without breaking nails has brought us this late-breaking, but completely unsubstantiated, ditty.

Helen’s Unsourced Non-Attributed Quoteless “Story” About Jagr

Jaromir Jagr intrigued the Red Wings a year ago, and once again has their interest.

Now he’s once again inching towards unrestricted free agency, and while he isn’t at the top of the Wings’ wish list, he is on the list.

Huh. Interesting.  Let me think on it…

...fuch no.  Reasons? I’ve got some.  Wait for it.

Naturally, we’re supposed to assume Helene’s insider info is golden.  She doesn’t even pretend to source it, doesn’t even bother with a line about “word from the Wings camp” or some bullshit like that.  She just throws it out there with this air of authority that has yet to be validated.  Now…HSJ isn’t the only Digger to introduce Jagr’s tainted name into the mix.  It was inevitable.  With something like 250 hours or so until Baby Jesus Brings Us Parise And Suter, we all need something to talk about. Khan(!), ran Jagr’s name out there as part of his relentlessly-researched but shockingly light-on-content possible UFAs the Wings might target series.

Khan(!) Going All Hypothetical On Us

The Red Wings made him an offer last summer (one year for $2.25 million) and weren’t willing to budge from it. It appeared he might return to Pittsburgh, but he took a better offer from the Flyers.

And therein, like the big kids say…the real journalists, lies the rub. 

Jaromir Jagr is garbage.  He’s a mercenary with absolutely no loyalty to anything but his own personal comfort and money.  Over a multi-week period where he taunted and teased a fan base that raised him and fawned over him during his formative years, he led them on. Then, at the last minute, he signed with their mortal enemies and pretended he could never have anticipated the outcry.

I’m no Pens apologist, but what he did to those fans last summer was disgusting. 

Is it natural to think the Wings might be considering Jagr as a last-ditch option to boost the offense if real hockey players sign or get traded elsewhere?  Sure.  If Parise swallows his own sack and signs in Minnesota, Semin goes for cash in a place like Denver where he’ll never even sniff the postseason…if Bobby Ryan gets dealt to Pittsburgh or Chicago…if we’re desperate come mid-July or August? Yep. Kenny can sign him then hide because the pitchforks will be out from all angles.

But unless he’s the last possible option?  No effing way.  He’s Never a Bad Day Bobby Lang’s mentor for Christ’s sake.  You thought we had a primadonna Enigma back in ‘07?  Shit.  Let Jagr stroll into town.

Again: PASS.

For some reason, various people are actually against the Wings going after Justin Schultz.  One commenter, in particular, was violently opposed…but offered no real reason why.  I love it.  Signing this kid, for a relatively small sum when compared to the talent he’s allegedly (and that’s from everyone who’s scouted him) in possession of, is a low-risk, high-reward proposition.  And in our newfound Lidstrom-less lives, a little risk may be what this organ-I-zation needs right now.

But…there are valid arguments against signing him. I found that out today. I wanted to hate this article from the minute I saw the headline, “Rick Nash, Justin Schultz Unlikely To Wind Up In Detroit”, but I read it anyway. And it’s damn good. 

Andrew Johnson, The Hockey Writers

Smith is projected to be as good, if not better than Schultz, and still he was asked to spend a season in Grand Rapids. Schultz would by all accounts be expected to do the same. Why then would he abandon a team that had a roster spot available for him to come to a team where he would have to earn his way into the lineup, and out play an equally impressive prospect to do so?

Johnson’s talking about Brendan Smith, of course. And his argument’s a good one. Why would Schultz go to the Wings on the off (or even likely) chance he’d have to spend a year in Grand Rapids because that’s the way the Wings do business.  Why would he head to the minors when so many other teams can guarantee, in writing, that he’ll never see anything but the NHL? 

Well. We know the answer to that.  You earn your way to Detroit and once you arrive the expectations are epic.  If you can’t handle the process to get there or the demands once you’ve arrived then maybe Hockeytown isn’t the place for you. 

Kick the tires, Kenny.  See if you can sell the kid on The Wing Way. Hell, maybe he’s so good that a roster spot is actually warranted. 

But don’t tell me the risk is too great.  It’s not.  We’re in a wacky, new, sickening place right now and coloring outside the lines isn’t just allowed, Kenny. We’re encouraging it.

And while we’re talking about filling our mouths with our own vomit (as opposed to someone elses? JFC…that’s gross), how about dealing for current Poultry Bobby Ryan?  He makes 5 million/year until 2014. He’s 25 years old. He’s scored at least 30 his last three seasons.  Feel free to discuss the obvious comparison to a certain mercurial, often-times invisible, moose/mule whose Cap hit is about 1.2 less but whose contract is for much longer, etc. 

And no, I wouldn’t deal Filppula for Ryan. Well, maybe. No I wouldn’t.

Maybe.

Anyone who feels Darren Helm isn’t worth every penny of the 8 million he’ll make over the next four years is a dummy.  Hank Zetterberg is going assume the formal Captain’s role and responsibility, but our boy Helm is the heart of this team.  The thought of he and Parise killing a penalty makes me warm like the time I urinated in my snowmobile suit on that cold Saginaw February morning back in ‘77.

2.25 per year? Hell yes, Kenny. Hell. Yes.

JJ’s got a business-like look at the Abdelkader situation over at Winging It In Motown.  Me? I’d sign him for two years. One million per.  No more money and no more term.  Home Keys still has plenty to prove before we shell out the bigger bucks, especially at a time when there so many other higher priorities on Kenny’s plate.

Parise. Suter. Schultz. Ryan. Semin. Garrison. Abdelkader falls no higher than sixth on shit that’s left to do this summer. Oh and Quincey…not today. I still can’t wrap my head around what he’s going to bring, if anything, to us other than frustration.

Enjoy your little Wednesday, bitches. 

 

 

 

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Comments

Vladimir16's avatar

Jaromir Jagr intrigued the Red Wings a year ago, and once again has their interest.

NOOOO!!!!!!!!

Posted by Vladimir16 from Grand River Valley on 06/20/12 at 06:10 PM ET

Avatar

If Jagr’s a mercenary deserving of hate, what’s Hudler? wink

And I’d be thrilled if Helm is killing penalties.  As in, actually killing penalties instead of just playing on the penalty kill.  Both he and Stuart appear to be highly, highly overrated PKers by some people hereabouts.

Posted by HockeyinHD on 06/20/12 at 06:21 PM ET

gowings's avatar

“Again: PASS”.

You said it way more politely than I ever will….if this is an option in Kenny’s mind, then he needs to retire!!!!!!!!!

Posted by gowings from MTL on 06/20/12 at 06:23 PM ET

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Kick the tires, Kenny.

Don’t even both, Mr H.  We’ve already got one overpriced, unrpoven defenseman, why add another?  Sign someone who is good, not someone who pretends to be enthusiastic about joining the team he was drafted to only to tell them to shove it.

Do we really want someone who’s going to whine that he’s not getting Lidstrom minutes in his first NHL game?

Anyone who feels Darren Helm isn’t worth every penny of the 8 million he’ll make over the next four years is a dummy.

Yup.

I’d sign him for two years. One million per.  No more money and no more term.

This.

Posted by Garth on 06/20/12 at 06:24 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Jagr.


Tired of that bullshit.

Posted by SYF from the team that re-signed KFQ and DFC by KFH on 06/20/12 at 06:24 PM ET

mrfluffy's avatar

And therein, like the big kids say…the real journalists, lies the rub.

So he’s going to Montreal, eh?  smile

Posted by mrfluffy from A wide spot on I-90 in Montana on 06/20/12 at 06:27 PM ET

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And I’d be thrilled if Helm is killing penalties.  As in, actually killing penalties instead of just playing on the penalty kill.  Both he and Stuart appear to be highly, highly overrated PKers by some people hereabouts.

you are dumb http://youtu.be/HSr1i4AUnYA

Posted by Jordan on 06/20/12 at 06:33 PM ET

J.J. from Kansas's avatar

Don’t worry, Chief. Quincey’s getting the business tomorrow.

Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 06/20/12 at 06:33 PM ET

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What do you guys think about Jay Bouwmeester as a Plan B? He seems like the type of revival project the Wings typically seek out. He has size, elite skating ability, can move the puck and chew up big time minutes. His cap hit is $6.6M w/ 2 years left on the deal. He’s never played on even a mildly successful NHL team. He seems like the type of player with a great pedigree who could come into a talented dressing room with high expectations and actually rise to the challenge. I know he’s not very physical but guys who can skate and move the puck like that don’t exactly grow on trees.

Posted by Eric H. on 06/20/12 at 06:35 PM ET

Avatar

As a follow up, the reason I mention Bouwmeester is that it seems like Calgary is open to moving him. He’s obviously not a UFA.

Posted by Eric H. on 06/20/12 at 06:37 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Garrison has a better shot from the point than JayBo and takes much fewer senseless penalties.

Posted by SYF from the team that re-signed KFQ and DFC by KFH on 06/20/12 at 06:38 PM ET

IwoCPO's avatar

Don’t worry, Chief. Quincey’s getting the business tomorrow.

Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 06/20/12 at 04:33 PM ET

As he should, JJ.  If he were dealt, I’d be pleased.

Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 06/20/12 at 06:38 PM ET

J.J. from Kansas's avatar

What do you guys think about Jay Bouwmeester as a Plan B?

Plan B would be an apt description, since I trust Bouwmeester as much as I trust a broken condom.

He’s not AWFUL, but his cap hit is way too high. I think I would be more mad with Holland for giving Abdelkader $2M than I would be if he got Bouwmeester, depending on what he gave up.

Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 06/20/12 at 07:05 PM ET

Red Winger's avatar

Looking at the Wings roster, it seems we have “Old, Somewhat Effective” player already covered.

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 06/20/12 at 07:15 PM ET

Red Winger's avatar

  What do you guys think about Jay Bouwmeester as a Plan B?

Sure, as long as he’s willing to take 4m a year

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 06/20/12 at 07:15 PM ET

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first .. I agree with those that are disgusted by even the thought Jagr could contaminate a winged wheel sweater.  If we wanted attitude we could have re-signed Fedorov.

second ... maybe Detroit is high on Justin Schultz’s list because Smith is here.  Maybe its a similar scenario to the Parise & Suter story that maybe they want to be teammates because they’ve been on teams together in the past and their styles match up and they both feel Detroit would be a great fit.  Smith being here shouldn’t be a negative. He doesn’t take up 6 roster spots. If this Schultz kid is as good as everyone says he is then get rid of Ericsson or Quincey (kenny should do that anyways).

Schultz needs to be reminded that jumping from 20-something college games a season to 82+ NHL games a season is hell on the body and a season in the AHL would be a realistic option from a physical perspective. Signing with an NHL team that can guarantee a roster spot for him immediately is asking for trouble. His body may revolt and shut down sometime after the all star break.

Posted by Hockeytown Wax from West Bloomfield, Mi. on 06/20/12 at 07:47 PM ET

Avatar

Schultz needs to be reminded that jumping from 20-something college games a season to 82+ NHL games

Hopefully he learns that somewhere else.

Posted by Garth on 06/20/12 at 08:06 PM ET

Hootinani's avatar

Helm Doesn’t kill penalties?!?!? You’re fuchin with me, right?

I’ve been at games where he has personally eaten up 20 to 30 seconds of clock by himself in the opposition’s end while 3 or 4 players try and strip him of the puck in the corner, and the rest of the Wings go for a line change.  And on occasion, he comes out of that clusterfuck, not only with his head still attached to his body, but with the damn puck, too.

Can’t kill penalties my ass.

Posted by Hootinani on 06/20/12 at 08:41 PM ET

J.J. from Kansas's avatar

Posted by Hootinani on 06/20/12 at 06:41 PM ET

Some people around here seem to be more interested in making sure everybody knows how much of an “original thinker” they are than actually making sense.

Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 06/20/12 at 09:02 PM ET

Avatar

Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 06/20/12 at 07:02 PM ET

I thought that way before you said it.

No big deal.

Posted by Garth on 06/20/12 at 09:12 PM ET

shanetx's avatar

.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 06/20/12 at 07:02 PM ET

I thought that way before you said it.

No big deal.

Posted by Garth on 06/20/12 at 07:12 PM ET

I laughed.  smile

To be fair to HockeyinHD, though, the Wings PK was so bad at times over the last few years that if you only caught a few games as saw some of THOSE games you could draw pretty nonsensical conclusions.

Posted by shanetx from Floydada, Texas on 06/20/12 at 10:25 PM ET

NIVO's avatar

My most memorable moment(s) after we got Quincey was the taking of penalties at THE ABSOLUTE worst times possible. I recall not twice but 7…8…..9….crap I lost count how many times.

Posted by NIVO from underpants gnome village on 06/20/12 at 10:38 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Parise. Suter. Schultz. Ryan. Semin. Garrison. Abdelkader falls no higher than sixth on shit that’s left to do this summer. Oh and Quincey…not today. I still can’t wrap my head around what he’s going to bring, if anything, to us other than frustration.

What he brings to us is not picking 19th in the first round of the draft.

you are dumb http://youtu.be/HSr1i4AUnYA

2009?  Come on, he was in his prime then.

And I’d be thrilled if Helm is killing penalties.  As in, actually killing penalties instead of just playing on the penalty kill.  Both he and Stuart appear to be highly, highly overrated PKers by some people hereabouts.

NOW we’re talking.  Addition by subtraction, that’s what the Stuart deal was for us.  And don’t even get me started on Lidstrom.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 06/21/12 at 12:01 AM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

We’re in a wacky, new, sickening place right now and coloring outside the lines isn’t just allowed, Kenny. We’re encouraging it.

This X 1,000.

And I absolutely agree with what you said about Helm and Abby.  Helm is the heart of this team, and I wouldn’t be at all surprised to see him succeed Z as Captain someday.

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 06/21/12 at 11:12 AM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com