Abel to Yzerman
by IwoCPO on 06/20/12 at 05:00 PM ET
Helene St. James’ amazing powers of deduction and her ability to text and tweet simultaneously without breaking nails has brought us this late-breaking, but completely unsubstantiated, ditty.
Jaromir Jagr intrigued the Red Wings a year ago, and once again has their interest.
Now he’s once again inching towards unrestricted free agency, and while he isn’t at the top of the Wings’ wish list, he is on the list.
Huh. Interesting. Let me think on it…
...fuch no. Reasons? I’ve got some. Wait for it.
Naturally, we’re supposed to assume Helene’s insider info is golden. She doesn’t even pretend to source it, doesn’t even bother with a line about “word from the Wings camp” or some bullshit like that. She just throws it out there with this air of authority that has yet to be validated. Now…HSJ isn’t the only Digger to introduce Jagr’s tainted name into the mix. It was inevitable. With something like 250 hours or so until Baby Jesus Brings Us Parise And Suter, we all need something to talk about. Khan(!), ran Jagr’s name out there as part of his relentlessly-researched but shockingly light-on-content possible UFAs the Wings might target series.
The Red Wings made him an offer last summer (one year for $2.25 million) and weren’t willing to budge from it. It appeared he might return to Pittsburgh, but he took a better offer from the Flyers.
And therein, like the big kids say…the real journalists, lies the rub.
Jaromir Jagr is garbage. He’s a mercenary with absolutely no loyalty to anything but his own personal comfort and money. Over a multi-week period where he taunted and teased a fan base that raised him and fawned over him during his formative years, he led them on. Then, at the last minute, he signed with their mortal enemies and pretended he could never have anticipated the outcry.
I’m no Pens apologist, but what he did to those fans last summer was disgusting.
Is it natural to think the Wings might be considering Jagr as a last-ditch option to boost the offense if real hockey players sign or get traded elsewhere? Sure. If Parise swallows his own sack and signs in Minnesota, Semin goes for cash in a place like Denver where he’ll never even sniff the postseason…if Bobby Ryan gets dealt to Pittsburgh or Chicago…if we’re desperate come mid-July or August? Yep. Kenny can sign him then hide because the pitchforks will be out from all angles.
But unless he’s the last possible option? No effing way. He’s Never a Bad Day Bobby Lang’s mentor for Christ’s sake. You thought we had a primadonna Enigma back in ‘07? Shit. Let Jagr stroll into town.
For some reason, various people are actually against the Wings going after Justin Schultz. One commenter, in particular, was violently opposed…but offered no real reason why. I love it. Signing this kid, for a relatively small sum when compared to the talent he’s allegedly (and that’s from everyone who’s scouted him) in possession of, is a low-risk, high-reward proposition. And in our newfound Lidstrom-less lives, a little risk may be what this organ-I-zation needs right now.
But…there are valid arguments against signing him. I found that out today. I wanted to hate this article from the minute I saw the headline, “Rick Nash, Justin Schultz Unlikely To Wind Up In Detroit”, but I read it anyway. And it’s damn good.
Smith is projected to be as good, if not better than Schultz, and still he was asked to spend a season in Grand Rapids. Schultz would by all accounts be expected to do the same. Why then would he abandon a team that had a roster spot available for him to come to a team where he would have to earn his way into the lineup, and out play an equally impressive prospect to do so?
Johnson’s talking about Brendan Smith, of course. And his argument’s a good one. Why would Schultz go to the Wings on the off (or even likely) chance he’d have to spend a year in Grand Rapids because that’s the way the Wings do business. Why would he head to the minors when so many other teams can guarantee, in writing, that he’ll never see anything but the NHL?
Well. We know the answer to that. You earn your way to Detroit and once you arrive the expectations are epic. If you can’t handle the process to get there or the demands once you’ve arrived then maybe Hockeytown isn’t the place for you.
Kick the tires, Kenny. See if you can sell the kid on The Wing Way. Hell, maybe he’s so good that a roster spot is actually warranted.
But don’t tell me the risk is too great. It’s not. We’re in a wacky, new, sickening place right now and coloring outside the lines isn’t just allowed, Kenny. We’re encouraging it.
And while we’re talking about filling our mouths with our own vomit (as opposed to someone elses? JFC…that’s gross), how about dealing for current Poultry Bobby Ryan? He makes 5 million/year until 2014. He’s 25 years old. He’s scored at least 30 his last three seasons. Feel free to discuss the obvious comparison to a certain mercurial, often-times invisible, moose/mule whose Cap hit is about 1.2 less but whose contract is for much longer, etc.
And no, I wouldn’t deal Filppula for Ryan. Well, maybe. No I wouldn’t.
Anyone who feels Darren Helm isn’t worth every penny of the 8 million he’ll make over the next four years is a dummy. Hank Zetterberg is going assume the formal Captain’s role and responsibility, but our boy Helm is the heart of this team. The thought of he and Parise killing a penalty makes me warm like the time I urinated in my snowmobile suit on that cold Saginaw February morning back in ‘77.
2.25 per year? Hell yes, Kenny. Hell. Yes.
JJ’s got a business-like look at the Abdelkader situation over at Winging It In Motown. Me? I’d sign him for two years. One million per. No more money and no more term. Home Keys still has plenty to prove before we shell out the bigger bucks, especially at a time when there so many other higher priorities on Kenny’s plate.
Parise. Suter. Schultz. Ryan. Semin. Garrison. Abdelkader falls no higher than sixth on shit that’s left to do this summer. Oh and Quincey…not today. I still can’t wrap my head around what he’s going to bring, if anything, to us other than frustration.
Enjoy your little Wednesday, bitches.
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