Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

With A Heave And, Naturally, A Ho….We’re Trapped

I'd be interested to see who can figure out the title and why it applies to us.  The trap part will be explained shortly.  The other? Yours to decipher, Sherlock.  

When did we start naming snow storms?

Today's Edmonton game?  Trap.  Yes, we're tied with the Oilers for the coveted 8 spot in the West so a strong effort from those youngsters shouldn't be surprising.  But still...considering what the Wings did a few days ago against the flailing, choking, spewing and sputtering Blues (how's your boy Hitch now, eh? He's not so cuddly when you're losing is he?)...today's a trap.

And we've done some research you'll find interesting.

Since Gary's first work stoppage, his first opus, the Wings have played hundreds of trap games.  Now, wait.  A "trap game" is defined as follows by a sports book I found at the AM/PM lodged incorrectly but conveniently between some beer nuts and a bag of Ricola; "any time a team has won its most recently-played game against an opponent many consider to be superior, there is a great risk of emotional letdown and neurological relaxation.  Evidence of this was first discovered in 1987 on a large scale when the heavily favored Detroit Tigers lost to the Minnesota Twins in an American League Championship Series following a particularly intense three-week end to a regular season that saw Kirk Gibson turn the Toronto Blue Jays into his own personal prison bitch and play toy."  It says that, word for word. 

So, using that definition, the Wings have played 357 "trap" games.  They've lost 355.  That's just science.  I looked it up and I found those numbers and they're accurate and you create something from your ivory fuching tower if you don't believe me.

I made it up.  All of it. The definition, the number, the beer nuts. Everything,  But I do know today is a trap game and we're almost certainly going to lose.  There is no chance in a fiery Hell the Wings win this after blasting the Blues in front of their Joe Camel fans with their "Europe" concert t-shirts stained with Boone's Farm and crusted over a few times because the sock drawer was full. 

Todd Bertuzzi's out with a back injury and if you haven't seen The Following you need to because now we know how our Serial Killer has so many friends on this team.  It's a damn cult is what it is.  So he's hurt and Jimmah's back but deep down inside we see the burning ember of a _____ ______rsy.  It's what we do.

Trap game. Disaster coming.  Diasssttterrrrr coming.

Wings win 5-3.  Zetterman. Buckets (again). Kronwall. Brunnnnnnnner (2).

It's a mid-day Live Blog, bitches.  

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Comments

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SYF's avatar

Oh fuch, it’s Kozier calling the day.  Kill me.

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 02/09/13 at 02:15 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

I’m thinking of teaching myself how to widdle….
Posted by 42jeff from Minot, North Dakota on 02/09/13 at 02:07 PM ET

I did that when I was 15 listening to “making love in the green grass with you, my brown eyed girl.”

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 02/09/13 at 02:16 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Cleary up on the line with Dangles.

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 02/09/13 at 02:17 PM ET

VooX's avatar

Posted by cigar_nurse from Greenville South Cakalakee on 02/09/13 at 02:14 PM ET

That sounds like “proper levels of pugnacity, testosterone, truculence and belligerence”, to quote a phrase.

Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 02/09/13 at 02:18 PM ET

Bent's avatar

Wings look like they haven’t woke up yet.

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 02/09/13 at 02:18 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Best of everything 42 Jeff to you and yours. Retirement in northern Mi. Ya lucky dog.

Posted by cigar_nurse from Greenville South Cakalakee on 02/09/13 at 02:14 PM ET

Actually have a place just west of Howard City…pretty much right square between Grand Rapids and Big Rapds.  Already got approval from the missus for Griffins and White caps season tickets. smile

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 02/09/13 at 02:18 PM ET

NIVO's avatar

i swear buckets is wearing roller skates out there

Posted by NIVO from underpants gnome village on 02/09/13 at 02:18 PM ET

calquake's avatar

I did that when I was 15 listening to “making love in the green grass with you, my brown eyed girl.”

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 02/09/13 at 02:16 PM ET

Who cleaned up the mess afterwards? (love Van the Man)

Posted by calquake on 02/09/13 at 02:19 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Oh and VooX, make mine a Redbreast 15 with a cube of ice.

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 02/09/13 at 02:19 PM ET

Little Redhead's avatar

You wouldn’t possibly have any photos from that era would you?  I’m asking for a friend. Posted by calquake on 02/09/13 at 02:15 PM ET

I woudnt know how to upload and I wouldn’t want your friend to be scarred for life.  tongue rolleye

 

Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's chair on 02/09/13 at 02:20 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Brunner hungry

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 02/09/13 at 02:20 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Brunner nearly with the finish.

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 02/09/13 at 02:20 PM ET

VooX's avatar

i swear buckets is wearing roller skates out there

He misses Disco Stu.

And, oh my, my first look at Murphy’s glasses.  Reminds me of my (less than hip) cousin and husband who both bought matching pseudo-hipster black plastic frames.  Needless to say, the frames suit neither one of them.

I think the blind Rahmani picked out those frames for Murph.  Only explanation possible.

Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 02/09/13 at 02:21 PM ET

dougie's avatar

“Oiled up”, haha reminds me of Mud Wrestling in college….(Sifted Mud with soil) Good times!

LGRW

Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer’s chair on 02/09/13 at 02:12 PM ET

There will be days that you regret sharing that information with the 19. Probably starting today

Posted by dougie on 02/09/13 at 02:21 PM ET

calquake's avatar

I woudnt know how to upload and I wouldn’t want your friend to be scarred for life.  tongue rolleye


big surprise

Posted by calquake on 02/09/13 at 02:21 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Actually have a place just west of Howard City…pretty much right square between Grand Rapids and Big Rapds.  Already got approval from the missus for Griffins and White caps season tickets.

Posted by 42jeff from Minot, North Dakota on 02/09/13 at 02:18 PM ET

I’m considering retiring back to Michigan when I finish working here in a few years, not sure yet.  Depends on where the offspring are and their family sitch.

I was thinking down near Plymouth, half way between Ann Arbor and the new hockey complex and Comerica.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 02/09/13 at 02:21 PM ET

Bent's avatar

Actually have a place just west of Howard City…pretty much right square between Grand Rapids and Big Rapds.  Already got approval from the missus for Griffins and White caps season tickets.

I know the area, my sister lives in Morley.  Nice quiet area, but still close enough to the city.

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 02/09/13 at 02:22 PM ET

SYF's avatar

“Oiled up”, haha reminds me of Mud Wrestling in college….(Sifted Mud with soil) Good times!

LGRW

Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer’s chair on 02/09/13 at 02:12 PM ET

Now, I’m drooling.

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 02/09/13 at 02:22 PM ET

HockeytownOverhaul's avatar

They definitely aren’t being physical, they need to start setting thet one, make Edomonton react, chase.  Take advantage of of their “veteran” confidence.

Posted by HockeytownOverhaul on 02/09/13 at 02:22 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

nd, oh my, my first look at Murphy’s glasses.  Reminds me of my (less than hip) cousin and husband who both bought matching pseudo-hipster black plastic frames.  Needless to say, the frames suit neither one of them.

I think the blind Rahmani picked out those frames for Murph.  Only explanation possible.

Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 02/09/13 at 02:21 PM ET

Interestingly enough..this is the first thing I thought of when I saw Murph’s new glasses

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 02/09/13 at 02:22 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

I know the area, my sister lives in Morley.  Nice quiet area, but still close enough to the city.

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 02/09/13 at 02:22 PM ET

Mine actually lives right between Morley and Stanwood.  Small world, eh?

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 02/09/13 at 02:23 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

Eveni.. Er, afternoon bitches.

Just got back in the house after clearing Nemo’s guts off my driveway.  I remember having storms like this every few weeks while growing up in the Yoop.

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from where free agents no longer dare. on 02/09/13 at 02:23 PM ET

Little Redhead's avatar

Cool Getzkys thinks Zetterberg is best Swedish player of his age - 32!

Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's chair on 02/09/13 at 02:23 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Who cleaned up the mess afterwards? (love Van the Man)

Posted by calquake on 02/09/13 at 02:19 PM ET

It went onto green grass. so ants or beetles.  Or my dog.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 02/09/13 at 02:23 PM ET

cigar_nurse's avatar

Thanks Vooxie.  What’s you got to go with muscle relaxants and anti inflammatories?

Posted by cigar_nurse from Greenville South Cakalakee on 02/09/13 at 02:23 PM ET

HockeytownOverhaul's avatar

Andersson Tatar Abby line is getting a good forecheck, getting good looks.

Posted by HockeytownOverhaul on 02/09/13 at 02:23 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Joakim Cash nearly cashing in.

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 02/09/13 at 02:23 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Holy crap…who are these guys in red playing with such offensive energy today?

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 02/09/13 at 02:23 PM ET

SYF's avatar

“Eberle gets stood up at the line.”

Uh, Ken.  Eberle damn near got creamed.

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 02/09/13 at 02:25 PM ET

calquake's avatar

I remember having storms like this every few weeks while growing up in the Yoop.

Ah, springtime!

Posted by calquake on 02/09/13 at 02:25 PM ET

klank's avatar

Franzen, Brunner, Z work the cycle well.

Posted by klank from the finest hot tub in Marin on 02/09/13 at 02:25 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Puck posession bitches

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 02/09/13 at 02:25 PM ET

Bent's avatar

Damn so close.

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 02/09/13 at 02:25 PM ET

HockeytownOverhaul's avatar

Posted by 42jeff from Minot, North Dakota on 02/09/13 at 02:22 PM ET

“You only see what you want to”

Posted by HockeytownOverhaul on 02/09/13 at 02:26 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Nice d, Kronner.

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 02/09/13 at 02:26 PM ET

dougie's avatar

FWIW, everytime I refresh the page, my avast program is blocking a Trojan

Posted by dougie on 02/09/13 at 02:26 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Towne Club, fresh popped popcorn, and Red Wings hockey.  Good afternoon, bitches.

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 02/09/13 at 02:26 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

geezo we should be able to pour in some goals today.  pretty good 10 minutes.  like to get 2 points today having to go back to back tomorree already against quick.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 02/09/13 at 02:27 PM ET

SYF's avatar

WTF, Q???  Why’d you quit skating on an Oils rush?

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 02/09/13 at 02:28 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Wow…Andersson is a big bastard

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 02/09/13 at 02:28 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com