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Abel to Yzerman

With A Heave And, Naturally, A Ho….We’re Trapped

I'd be interested to see who can figure out the title and why it applies to us.  The trap part will be explained shortly.  The other? Yours to decipher, Sherlock.  

When did we start naming snow storms?

Today's Edmonton game?  Trap.  Yes, we're tied with the Oilers for the coveted 8 spot in the West so a strong effort from those youngsters shouldn't be surprising.  But still...considering what the Wings did a few days ago against the flailing, choking, spewing and sputtering Blues (how's your boy Hitch now, eh? He's not so cuddly when you're losing is he?)...today's a trap.

And we've done some research you'll find interesting.

Since Gary's first work stoppage, his first opus, the Wings have played hundreds of trap games.  Now, wait.  A "trap game" is defined as follows by a sports book I found at the AM/PM lodged incorrectly but conveniently between some beer nuts and a bag of Ricola; "any time a team has won its most recently-played game against an opponent many consider to be superior, there is a great risk of emotional letdown and neurological relaxation.  Evidence of this was first discovered in 1987 on a large scale when the heavily favored Detroit Tigers lost to the Minnesota Twins in an American League Championship Series following a particularly intense three-week end to a regular season that saw Kirk Gibson turn the Toronto Blue Jays into his own personal prison bitch and play toy."  It says that, word for word. 

So, using that definition, the Wings have played 357 "trap" games.  They've lost 355.  That's just science.  I looked it up and I found those numbers and they're accurate and you create something from your ivory fuching tower if you don't believe me.

I made it up.  All of it. The definition, the number, the beer nuts. Everything,  But I do know today is a trap game and we're almost certainly going to lose.  There is no chance in a fiery Hell the Wings win this after blasting the Blues in front of their Joe Camel fans with their "Europe" concert t-shirts stained with Boone's Farm and crusted over a few times because the sock drawer was full. 

Todd Bertuzzi's out with a back injury and if you haven't seen The Following you need to because now we know how our Serial Killer has so many friends on this team.  It's a damn cult is what it is.  So he's hurt and Jimmah's back but deep down inside we see the burning ember of a _____ ______rsy.  It's what we do.

Trap game. Disaster coming.  Diasssttterrrrr coming.

Wings win 5-3.  Zetterman. Buckets (again). Kronwall. Brunnnnnnnner (2).

It's a mid-day Live Blog, bitches.  

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Comments

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42jeff's avatar

stupid yakopov

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 02/09/13 at 03:10 PM ET

Little Redhead's avatar

UNsportsman like conduct, wow, Ryan Smith 10 minutes. What did he say…...

Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's Chair on 02/09/13 at 03:10 PM ET

calquake's avatar

who wears a bakini during a mud wrestling tournament?

I used to… but some little kid went blind and I had to stop.

Posted by calquake from a.k.a. Uniquake, workin' on my manifesto on 02/09/13 at 03:11 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

damn Kronwall

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 02/09/13 at 03:11 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Lunch time here in sunny Las Vegas, 19.  Catch y’all on the flipside.

And thanks for the image in my head now, Little Red.  grin

I keed, I keed.

Posted by SYF from Twerkin' with Anastasia Ashley on 02/09/13 at 03:12 PM ET

Bent's avatar

Wait until they start talking aboot you as being old.

\

It just seems he should still be one of the young fresh stars on the team, not getting near the end of his career.

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 02/09/13 at 03:12 PM ET

Little Redhead's avatar

No problem SYF, doing my best to keep you NUTZ good…... when game is lagging…

LGRW

Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's Chair on 02/09/13 at 03:14 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Andersson saves the bacon - - good play

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 02/09/13 at 03:15 PM ET

monkey's avatar

I need a woman to take care of my nutz.

Posted by monkey from Prague on 02/09/13 at 03:15 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Andersson is a puck magnet too

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 02/09/13 at 03:16 PM ET

calquake's avatar

I need a woman to take care of my nutz.

Posted by monkey from All hands, abandon ship. This is not a drill. on 02/09/13 at 03:15 PM ET

Preferably in a hot pink bikini.

Posted by calquake from a.k.a. Uniquake, workin' on my manifesto on 02/09/13 at 03:16 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

I like bacon

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 02/09/13 at 03:17 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Get on the bus kids.

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 02/09/13 at 03:17 PM ET

monkey's avatar

What’re you mud wrestling for little kids for?

Raising bail money.

Posted by monkey from Prague on 02/09/13 at 03:18 PM ET

calquake's avatar

What’re you mud wrestling for little kids for?

wink

Field trip to the Creationist Museum.

Posted by calquake from a.k.a. Uniquake, workin' on my manifesto on 02/09/13 at 03:18 PM ET

cigar_nurse's avatar

Good couple of shifts. Whiskey time?

Posted by cigar_nurse from On The mend for next season Greenville Pylons on 02/09/13 at 03:18 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

omg that was a great play by the EDM defender to deflect Brunner’s tip in.

Posted by RWBill on 02/09/13 at 03:18 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

I think you meant, “You’re making this much harder”. 

Posted by calquake on 02/09/13 at 03:04 PM ET

You Nasty.

Posted by RWBill on 02/09/13 at 03:20 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

5-3

lets see how DET fuch up this wet dream

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 02/09/13 at 03:21 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

sweeeet 5 on 3….come on fellas don’t make me whip out the bus

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 02/09/13 at 03:21 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Posted by monkey from Prague on 02/09/13 at 03:22 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

FINALLY

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 02/09/13 at 03:22 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

pavvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 02/09/13 at 03:22 PM ET

monkey's avatar

omg that was a great play by the EDM defender to deflect Brunner’s tip in.

Just the tip.  Just to see how it feels.

Posted by monkey from Prague on 02/09/13 at 03:23 PM ET

Bent's avatar

Dats!!

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 02/09/13 at 03:23 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

:28 5x3,  Howard needs to be our best defender here.

Posted by RWBill on 02/09/13 at 03:23 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

monkey you rock

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 02/09/13 at 03:23 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Brunner with a helluva pass

Mule clearing out the crease

great play

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 02/09/13 at 03:23 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

MAGIC PAV!!!!!!

Posted by MsRedWinger from the State where Tigers roam in the Spring on 02/09/13 at 03:23 PM ET

Little Redhead's avatar

Woo Hoo!

Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's Chair on 02/09/13 at 03:24 PM ET

calquake's avatar

OMG…. did you see the size of…. that flower in her hair?

Posted by calquake from a.k.a. Uniquake, workin' on my manifesto on 02/09/13 at 03:24 PM ET

monkey's avatar

AMERICA *#$%@& YEAH

Posted by monkey from Prague on 02/09/13 at 03:24 PM ET

monkey's avatar

monkey you rock

Thank you and you’re welcome.

Posted by monkey from Prague on 02/09/13 at 03:24 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Just the tip.  Just to see how it feels.

Posted by monkey from All hands, abandon ship. This is not a drill. on 02/09/13 at 03:23 PM ET

You Nasty.

Posted by RWBill on 02/09/13 at 03:26 PM ET

monkey's avatar

OMG…. did you see the size of…. that flower in her hair?

I was mesmerized by the gems on her necklace.

Posted by monkey from Prague on 02/09/13 at 03:27 PM ET

Little Redhead's avatar

I am thinking I have to get me some bacon and flowers…

Yeah Wings 1-0

Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's Chair on 02/09/13 at 03:27 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

was mesmerized by the gems on her necklace.

Posted by monkey from All hands, abandon ship. This is not a drill. on 02/09/13 at 03:27 PM ET

She was wearing a necklace?

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 02/09/13 at 03:27 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Pavel Datsyuk, 7th all time in total points, Detroit Red Wings.

Posted by monkey from Prague on 02/09/13 at 03:28 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

I am thinking I have to get me some bacon and flowers…
Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer’s chair on 02/09/13 at 03:27 PM ET

Check in the bushes.

Posted by RWBill on 02/09/13 at 03:28 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Check in the bushes.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 02/09/13 at 03:28 PM ET

You Nasty.

Posted by RWBill on 02/09/13 at 03:29 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com