Abel to Yzerman
With A Heave And, Naturally, A Ho….We’re Trapped
by IwoCPO on 02/09/13 at 01:00 PM ET
Comments (284)
I'd be interested to see who can figure out the title and why it applies to us. The trap part will be explained shortly. The other? Yours to decipher, Sherlock.
When did we start naming snow storms?
Today's Edmonton game? Trap. Yes, we're tied with the Oilers for the coveted 8 spot in the West so a strong effort from those youngsters shouldn't be surprising. But still...considering what the Wings did a few days ago against the flailing, choking, spewing and sputtering Blues (how's your boy Hitch now, eh? He's not so cuddly when you're losing is he?)...today's a trap.
And we've done some research you'll find interesting.
Since Gary's first work stoppage, his first opus, the Wings have played hundreds of trap games. Now, wait. A "trap game" is defined as follows by a sports book I found at the AM/PM lodged incorrectly but conveniently between some beer nuts and a bag of Ricola; "any time a team has won its most recently-played game against an opponent many consider to be superior, there is a great risk of emotional letdown and neurological relaxation. Evidence of this was first discovered in 1987 on a large scale when the heavily favored Detroit Tigers lost to the Minnesota Twins in an American League Championship Series following a particularly intense three-week end to a regular season that saw Kirk Gibson turn the Toronto Blue Jays into his own personal prison bitch and play toy." It says that, word for word.
So, using that definition, the Wings have played 357 "trap" games. They've lost 355. That's just science. I looked it up and I found those numbers and they're accurate and you create something from your ivory fuching tower if you don't believe me.
I made it up. All of it. The definition, the number, the beer nuts. Everything, But I do know today is a trap game and we're almost certainly going to lose. There is no chance in a fiery Hell the Wings win this after blasting the Blues in front of their Joe Camel fans with their "Europe" concert t-shirts stained with Boone's Farm and crusted over a few times because the sock drawer was full.
Todd Bertuzzi's out with a back injury and if you haven't seen The Following you need to because now we know how our Serial Killer has so many friends on this team. It's a damn cult is what it is. So he's hurt and Jimmah's back but deep down inside we see the burning ember of a _____ ______rsy. It's what we do.
Trap game. Disaster coming. Diasssttterrrrr coming.
Wings win 5-3. Zetterman. Buckets (again). Kronwall. Brunnnnnnnner (2).
It's a mid-day Live Blog, bitches.
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Comments
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I get sad when they talk about Datsyuk as being old…
Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 02/09/13 at 04:05 PM ET
I think you meant, “You’re making this much harder”.
Posted by calquake on 02/09/13 at 03:04 PM ET
Great. Now, I gotta clean up.
Posted by SYF from a viewing moratorium of NBC's hockey coverage on 02/09/13 at 04:06 PM ET
Also, Ericsson, strongest D tonight again. Never frantic, smart play so far.
Posted by HockeytownOverhaul on 02/09/13 at 03:00 PM ET
Really been enjoying E52’s play this year. Using his body smartly.
Posted by klank from the finest hot tub in Marin on 02/09/13 at 04:07 PM ET
I get sad when they talk about Datsyuk as being old…
Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 02/09/13 at 03:05 PM ET
Wait until they start talking aboot you as being old.
Posted by calquake on 02/09/13 at 04:07 PM ET
get your heads outta your ass - - ridiculous
Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 02/09/13 at 04:07 PM ET
WoW, what a good play, unfortunately it didnt find the net….
Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's chair on 02/09/13 at 04:09 PM ET
Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer’s chair on 02/09/13 at 02:59 PM ET
who wears a bakini during a mud wrestling tournament? pfft.
Posted by HockeytownOverhaul on 02/09/13 at 04:09 PM ET
UNsportsman like conduct, wow, Ryan Smith 10 minutes. What did he say…...
Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's chair on 02/09/13 at 04:10 PM ET
who wears a bakini during a mud wrestling tournament?
I used to… but some little kid went blind and I had to stop.
Posted by calquake on 02/09/13 at 04:11 PM ET
Lunch time here in sunny Las Vegas, 19. Catch y’all on the flipside.
And thanks for the image in my head now, Little Red. 
I keed, I keed.
Posted by SYF from a viewing moratorium of NBC's hockey coverage on 02/09/13 at 04:12 PM ET
Wait until they start talking aboot you as being old.
\
It just seems he should still be one of the young fresh stars on the team, not getting near the end of his career.
Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 02/09/13 at 04:12 PM ET
No problem SYF, doing my best to keep you NUTZ good…... when game is lagging…
LGRW
Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's chair on 02/09/13 at 04:14 PM ET
fuchin a if kronners could’ve pulled the trigger.
Keep getting looks, good shift.
Posted by HockeytownOverhaul on 02/09/13 at 04:14 PM ET
Andersson saves the bacon - - good play
Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 02/09/13 at 04:15 PM ET
Posted by calquake on 02/09/13 at 03:11 PM ET
What’re you mud wrestling for little kids for?
Posted by HockeytownOverhaul on 02/09/13 at 04:15 PM ET
Andersson is a puck magnet too
Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 02/09/13 at 04:16 PM ET
I need a woman to take care of my nutz.
Posted by monkey from All hands, abandon ship. This is not a drill. on 02/09/13 at 03:15 PM ET
Preferably in a hot pink bikini.
Posted by calquake on 02/09/13 at 04:16 PM ET
What’re you mud wrestling for little kids for?
Raising bail money.
Posted by monkey from Finland on 02/09/13 at 04:18 PM ET
Tatar with 2 Oilers draped on his back winning the battle int he corner int he O zone. Kid is fuchin’ ready.
Posted by HockeytownOverhaul on 02/09/13 at 04:18 PM ET
What’re you mud wrestling for little kids for?
wink
Field trip to the Creationist Museum.
Posted by calquake on 02/09/13 at 04:18 PM ET
Good couple of shifts. Whiskey time?
Posted by cigar_nurse from Greenville South Cakalakee on 02/09/13 at 04:18 PM ET
omg that was a great play by the EDM defender to deflect Brunner’s tip in.
Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 02/09/13 at 04:18 PM ET
uuuuggghhh Brunner so close. Took an elbow to the face too.
Posted by HockeytownOverhaul on 02/09/13 at 04:20 PM ET
I think you meant, “You’re making this much harder”.
Posted by calquake on 02/09/13 at 03:04 PM ET
You Nasty.
Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 02/09/13 at 04:20 PM ET
5-3
lets see how DET fuch up this wet dream
Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 02/09/13 at 04:21 PM ET
sweeeet 5 on 3….come on fellas don’t make me whip out the bus
Posted by 42jeff from Minot, North Dakota on 02/09/13 at 04:21 PM ET
Posted by calquake on 02/09/13 at 03:18 PM ET
On a compound somewhere in Mexico?
Posted by monkey from All hands, abandon ship. This is not a drill. on 02/09/13 at 03:18 PM
THATS good management. Anticipate deficiencies and have the answer ready, don’t hope to fall into some money during FA, I mean after arrest.
Posted by HockeytownOverhaul on 02/09/13 at 04:22 PM ET
omg that was a great play by the EDM defender to deflect Brunner’s tip in.
Just the tip. Just to see how it feels.
Posted by monkey from Finland on 02/09/13 at 04:23 PM ET
:28 5x3, Howard needs to be our best defender here.
Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 02/09/13 at 04:23 PM ET
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About Abel to Yzerman
Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977. No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y. Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation. There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature. Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com
HAHA, I am a woman of many…....well lets just say, Talents!
Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's chair on 02/09/13 at 04:05 PM ET