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Abel to Yzerman

With A Heave And, Naturally, A Ho….We’re Trapped

I'd be interested to see who can figure out the title and why it applies to us.  The trap part will be explained shortly.  The other? Yours to decipher, Sherlock.  

When did we start naming snow storms?

Today's Edmonton game?  Trap.  Yes, we're tied with the Oilers for the coveted 8 spot in the West so a strong effort from those youngsters shouldn't be surprising.  But still...considering what the Wings did a few days ago against the flailing, choking, spewing and sputtering Blues (how's your boy Hitch now, eh? He's not so cuddly when you're losing is he?)...today's a trap.

And we've done some research you'll find interesting.

Since Gary's first work stoppage, his first opus, the Wings have played hundreds of trap games.  Now, wait.  A "trap game" is defined as follows by a sports book I found at the AM/PM lodged incorrectly but conveniently between some beer nuts and a bag of Ricola; "any time a team has won its most recently-played game against an opponent many consider to be superior, there is a great risk of emotional letdown and neurological relaxation.  Evidence of this was first discovered in 1987 on a large scale when the heavily favored Detroit Tigers lost to the Minnesota Twins in an American League Championship Series following a particularly intense three-week end to a regular season that saw Kirk Gibson turn the Toronto Blue Jays into his own personal prison bitch and play toy."  It says that, word for word. 

So, using that definition, the Wings have played 357 "trap" games.  They've lost 355.  That's just science.  I looked it up and I found those numbers and they're accurate and you create something from your ivory fuching tower if you don't believe me.

I made it up.  All of it. The definition, the number, the beer nuts. Everything,  But I do know today is a trap game and we're almost certainly going to lose.  There is no chance in a fiery Hell the Wings win this after blasting the Blues in front of their Joe Camel fans with their "Europe" concert t-shirts stained with Boone's Farm and crusted over a few times because the sock drawer was full. 

Todd Bertuzzi's out with a back injury and if you haven't seen The Following you need to because now we know how our Serial Killer has so many friends on this team.  It's a damn cult is what it is.  So he's hurt and Jimmah's back but deep down inside we see the burning ember of a _____ ______rsy.  It's what we do.

Trap game. Disaster coming.  Diasssttterrrrr coming.

Wings win 5-3.  Zetterman. Buckets (again). Kronwall. Brunnnnnnnner (2).

It's a mid-day Live Blog, bitches.  

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Comments

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NIVO's avatar

Right on Chief! Yakupov gets “nailed”, obligatory brew-ha-ha ensues. I’m throwing dogs on the ice, just wipe the mustard off the glass. Its time to jack this joint up!

GAME ON!

Posted by NIVO from underpants gnome village on 02/09/13 at 01:06 PM ET

IwoCPO's avatar

I’m throwing dogs on the ice

Hell yes you are. I’m frigging starving. 

 

Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 02/09/13 at 01:07 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

It’s a mid-day Live Blog, bitches.

A trap game, I’m getting over a double vision impairing migraine, and, NO Hockey Day In Canada coverage.

At least we can count on the Master Chief. Thanks man.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 02/09/13 at 01:19 PM ET

VooX's avatar

Afternoon, bitches, I’m going to try and catch this one with the 19. 

Something of great concern to me and possibly the 19 as a whole:  I was looking up some of the Chief’s posts from a few years ago, and I notice that all the comments are gone.  All the juvenile deliciousness, gone.  Inppropriate sexual and cultural jokes, gone.  Trolls getting beaten down, over and over, gone.  I am very saddened by this, is there no place on the Gore for the man with a 105 IQ who wants to read the 19’s jokes from years gone by?

What are you drinking?

Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 02/09/13 at 01:25 PM ET

klank's avatar

What are you drinking?

Redbreast with some Pancakes.  yum!

Posted by klank from the finest hot tub in Marin on 02/09/13 at 01:31 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Train kept a rolling - - all season long.

Buckle up bitches.

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 02/09/13 at 01:40 PM ET

NIVO's avatar

going with just cokes this glorious afternoon for my drinking pleasure. A buffet with the relatives after the game will prove otherwise though hehe.

Posted by NIVO from underpants gnome village on 02/09/13 at 01:43 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

going with just cokes this glorious afternoon for my drinking pleasure. A buffet with the relatives after the game will prove otherwise though hehe.

Posted by NIVO from underpants gnome village on 02/09/13 at 12:43 PM ET

Dr.Pepper is my prescription for the lingering effects of the brutal migraine. No drinky for me. cool hmm

Yes, sunglasses are required.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 02/09/13 at 01:49 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Chief, don’t know which thread you’re watching now but heres the answer to your question int he GDT:

I actually just hit the button on Thursday.  I just put E-8 on last June and had a 2 year ADSC but the AF just offered up early retirement with ADSC waivers up to 18 months.  I got tagged with an assignment to Kunsan AB Korea back in May so we bought a house back in Michigan to send the wife and two youngest to..only like six miles from my parents and my brother up in Howard City…but then in October that assignment was cancelled due to my gimpy knees.  After going back to the motherland for Thanksgiving and again for Christmas I was more than ready to retire.

I didn’t waste anytime submitting my package.  All my leadership types were pretty upset that I did it but I just don’t have it in my anymore.  I retire 1 August with 22 years and 13 days of active duty.

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 02/09/13 at 01:53 PM ET

42jeff's avatar


Oh I kill me

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 02/09/13 at 01:58 PM ET

NIVO's avatar

of course that bus is blasting AC/DC - Long Way To The Top at full capacity too

Posted by NIVO from underpants gnome village on 02/09/13 at 02:04 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Here you go Nivo, just for you

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 02/09/13 at 02:22 PM ET

NIVO's avatar

ROFL, thats perfect Jeff!

Posted by NIVO from underpants gnome village on 02/09/13 at 02:32 PM ET

VooX's avatar

Posted by 42jeff from Minot, North Dakota on 02/09/13 at 12:53 PM ET

Congrats, Jeff.

Awfully quiet in here today, did we lose a few in the snow last night?

Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 02/09/13 at 02:43 PM ET

NIVO's avatar

cant find a pre game feed anywhere. this bloes

Posted by NIVO from underpants gnome village on 02/09/13 at 02:44 PM ET

Little Redhead's avatar

Afternoon WingNUTs!

Thanks for your service Chief and leading the 19+
Congratulations 42Jeff! I hope you can enjoy your retirement, you deserve to!

W as in WIN sounds good to me!

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's chair on 02/09/13 at 02:44 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Wings feed

http://www.firstrow1.eu/watch/168063/2/watch-detroit-red-wings-vs-edmonton-oilers.html

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 02/09/13 at 02:57 PM ET

VooX's avatar

Also:
http://atdhe.so/watch.php?id=590146

Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 02/09/13 at 02:57 PM ET

dougie's avatar

What are you drinking?

Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 02/09/13 at 12:25 PM ET

Finishing off a growler of local IPA, just back from 5 Guys. What a great day, so far.
Fly in the ointment is the wife’s insistence on having the Xmas decorations taken down before Valentines Day. I just don’t get it.

Posted by dougie on 02/09/13 at 02:58 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Just picked up a Blue moon sampler…not bad stuff.  The citrusy one

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 02/09/13 at 02:58 PM ET

VooX's avatar

Fly in the ointment is the wife’s insistence on having the Xmas decorations taken down before Valentines Day. I just don’t get it.

I believe the Chief wisely delegated that job to the Missus.  Domestic harmony is guaranteed, I guess, as she gets her way (lights up) and he gets his (feet up watching).

Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 02/09/13 at 03:00 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

Good afternoon, everyone!  I think Okie solved the riddle.  I can’t believe I didn’t think of it.  I love that song!  Yardbirds version.  (Cosmic dust age group here.)

Jeff, great photo!

Yep, trap game.  I’m just gonna wait and see, or rather, listen.

I probably won’t live blog because the radio is always way behind.

LET’S GO RED WINGS !!!!!

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 02/09/13 at 03:00 PM ET

calquake's avatar

What are you drinking?

Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 02/09/13 at 12:25 PM ET

Anything that isn’t legal.  Howdy tarbender, long time no converse.  Let’s all get Oiled up see what happens.

Posted by calquake on 02/09/13 at 03:03 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

I retire 1 August with 22 years and 13 days of active duty.

Posted by 42jeff from Minot, North Dakota on 02/09/13 at 12:50 PM ET

Thanks Jeff and good luck.  Military retirement has been a great jumping off for my second career.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with creepy Rob Lowe. on 02/09/13 at 03:04 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Military retirement has been a great jumping off for my second career.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 02/09/13 at 02:04 PM ET

Stalking Karen Newman?

Posted by calquake on 02/09/13 at 03:06 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Thanks Jeff and good luck.  Military retirement has been a great jumping off for my second career.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 02/09/13 at 02:04 PM ET

I’m hoping so.  I would have been gone last spring if I hadn’t gone and gotten promoted.  It’s certainly enabled several changes for the better in our lives.  As for as a second career…I’m thinking of teaching myself how to widdle….

that or finally finish up that flight instructor certificate and make money doing what I love.

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 02/09/13 at 03:07 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Stalking Karen Newman?

Posted by calquake on 02/09/13 at 02:06 PM ET

Well the military DOES teach you how to be sneaky…

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 02/09/13 at 03:08 PM ET

The Hurricane's avatar

Brunner nets opening goal.

Posted by The Hurricane on 02/09/13 at 03:09 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Well the military DOES teach you how to be sneaky…


Posted by 42jeff from Minot, North Dakota on 02/09/13 at 02:08 PM ET

image fail

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 02/09/13 at 03:10 PM ET

VooX's avatar

Posted by calquake on 02/09/13 at 02:06 PM ET

Among others…

Howdy, friend, glad to chat with you again as well.

Posted by 42jeff from Minot, North Dakota on 02/09/13 at 02:07 PM ET

I would take lessons from you.  Of course, getting the pre-flight sobriety check passed may be my biggest obstacle to taking that lesson.

 

Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 02/09/13 at 03:11 PM ET

Little Redhead's avatar

Let’s all get Oiled up see what happens.

Posted by calquake on 02/09/13 at 02:03 PM ET

“Oiled up”, haha reminds me of Mud Wrestling in college….(Sifted Mud with soil) Good times!

LGRW

Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's chair on 02/09/13 at 03:12 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Karen singing O Canada on CBC!  I would still like.. well never mind.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with creepy Rob Lowe. on 02/09/13 at 03:12 PM ET

Bent's avatar

Thought this game was at two?  Am I wrong?  They are still in the studio.

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 02/09/13 at 03:12 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Hey, RWBill. It’s Karen!

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 02/09/13 at 03:12 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Stalking Karen Newman?

Posted by calquake on 02/09/13 at 02:06 PM ET

Damn I can’t go anywhere.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with creepy Rob Lowe. on 02/09/13 at 03:13 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Above all else, congrats on your decision to retire, Jeff.  “Tootoo” years is a long time and certainly demands our respect and gratitude.  Best always, Sir.

Let’s see which damn Wings team shows up today.  The Wranglers started the ECHL season craptacularly, but last night, they’ve won their sixth game in a row so here’s hoping the same happens for the Wings after the glorious beatdown of the B’Lose.

Go Wings.

Posted by SYF from the team that re-signed KFQ and DFC by KFH on 02/09/13 at 03:14 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Damn she is still cute and has a great set of   pipes on her.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with creepy Rob Lowe. on 02/09/13 at 03:14 PM ET

cigar_nurse's avatar

Did Homer put the phrase on the side of the short bus?

Best of everything 42 Jeff to you and yours. Retirement in northern Mi. Ya lucky dog.

Shite. Got the canuck feed

Got cheapshotted on my newly repaired shoulder by a douche who looks like Joe Thornton. Well I just hit him so hard in the crease that he hit the boards behind the net. No more troubles from him. Lost in a shootout. Glad you got a better result Thursday.

Posted by cigar_nurse from Greenville South Cakalakee on 02/09/13 at 03:14 PM ET

VooX's avatar

Damn I can’t go anywhere.

At least not without that ankle bracelet and introducing yourself to every household in the neighbourhood, by law, because of your past transgressions.

Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 02/09/13 at 03:15 PM ET

calquake's avatar

“Oiled up”, haha reminds me of Mud Wrestling in college….(Sifted Mud with soil) Good times!

You wouldn’t possibly have any photos from that era would you?  I’m asking for a friend.

Posted by calquake on 02/09/13 at 03:15 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com