Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

While we’re kicking tires? Let’s kick the dive while they’re down

I've been forwarded to Rhode Island for the next two weeks.  That means I'll be a little scarce.  I'll be checking in from time to time to read HockeyinDB's daily life lessons, but thumbing the phone gets old. 

If our man on the scene, Tick Tock, goes all nutso and actually trades someone for someone else? I'll probably write about it or something.   If no deals, I'll be "studying".

The worst team in hockey is visiting the Joe and this is a live blog, bitches.

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SYF's avatar

NHL Rumor Mill @NHLRumorMillcom
TRADE ALERT: Multiple Reports say Dallas Traded Jagr to Boston, @MikeHeika says Dallas receives 2 prospects and pick. #Bruins #DallasStars

Unconfirmed right now.

Posted by SYF from Alana Blanchard's Bikinis and Surfboards on 04/02/13 at 12:05 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

ya know what I did not hear ONE SINGLE TIME yesterday?

The word “waffleboard”

Posted by dougie on 04/02/13 at 10:10 AM ET

Is that an “enhanced interrogation” technique for terrorism suspects with a BMI over 30?

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/02/13 at 12:08 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Is that an “enhanced interrogation” technique for terrorism suspects with a BMI over 30?

Is that what’s going on in Rhode Island?

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 04/02/13 at 02:51 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Posted by RWBill from #savethelivingroom #ihateCartmanbrah on 04/02/13 at 03:15 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Teams 3 - 13 with historical trendlines since 2006

8th place, 94.3 ( 55.2 )

9th place, 91.3 ( 53.4 )

Posted by RWBill from #savethelivingroom #ihateCartmanbrah on 04/02/13 at 04:14 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Nice graphs, Bill. If I’m reading it correctly, the BJs and Edm are really charging up the standings. One three game losing streak and the Wings are in the Lottery.

10 of the 15 WC teams are playing at .500 or better over their last ten games. That makes no sense to me. It must be lil gary’s system of not all games generating the same number of points.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/02/13 at 05:21 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

I think your reading that correctly.  The BJs and Edmonton have time to overtake a couple of teams, like Detroit or StL.

That’s exactly right,  StL is on the edge (the golden triangle team at 34 games), win their two games in hand and they pass Detroit.  Lose two and they slide right into the path of being run over by Edmonton and/or the BJs.

If Detroyet gets 7 wins or more in their last 12 games ( or 14 points), they should make it in….  unless those 2 or 3 teams below just keep blowing the doors off everyone.  I haven’t looked at their schedules, surely they must play each other, and stop calling me Shirley.  But there’s your point about 3 point games.

Posted by RWBill from #savethelivingroom #ihateCartmanbrah on 04/02/13 at 06:57 PM ET

monkey's avatar

In Gary’s World everyone can be at least .500

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 04/02/13 at 08:27 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

In Gary’s World everyone can be at least .500
Posted by monkey from Fear and Loathing on 04/02/13 at 09:27 PM ET

My sister was a proud teacher and NEA member.  Somehow it became ok, if not encouraged, that kids could answer 2+2=5 and not be marked wrong, because the kids could be “exploring”. That was an actual conversation we had.  I honestly don’t even know what that could possibly mean in that context, but everyone is at least .500, there’s no wrong answer.

Come to think of it that’s not as good an example as I first thought.  Never mind.

Posted by RWBill from #savethelivingroom #ihateCartmanbrah on 04/02/13 at 09:27 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

It’s official.  NHL teams look to Abel to Yzerman to make key decisions.


First published March 29.
——————————————————————-

Dallas projects to be the worst 9th place team in the post 2d Lockout Era, err, post 2005 cancelled season era.
Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 03/29/13 at 01:03 PM ET

MIKE HEIKA Staff Writer
Published: 02 April 2013 11:49 AM

The Stars on Tuesday jumped on the rebuilding bandwagon, by acquiring three prospects and two draft picks from Boston and Vancouver in exchange for center Derek Roy (Canucks) and winger Jaromir Jagr (Bruins).

The moves signal a harsh reality for the team (16-16-3), as Jagr was leading the Stars in scoring with 26 points (14 goals, 12 assists), and Roy was fourth.

Posted by RWBill from #savethelivingroom #ihateCartmanbrah on 04/02/13 at 11:43 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Stockton bankruptcy can move forward, judge rules

If I only had a dollar, for ev’ry song I’ve sung.
And ev’ry time I’ve had to play
While people sat there drunk.
You know, I’d catch the next train back to where I live.
Oh ! Lord, I’m stuck in Lodi again.
Oh ! Lord, I’m stuck in Lodi again.

Posted by RWBill from #savethelivingroom #ihateCartmanbrah on 04/02/13 at 11:51 PM ET

monkey's avatar

My sister was a proud teacher and NEA member.  Somehow it became ok, if not encouraged, that kids could answer 2+2=5 and not be marked wrong, because the kids could be “exploring”. That was an actual conversation we had.  I honestly don’t even know what that could possibly mean in that context, but everyone is at least .500, there’s no wrong answer.

Come to think of it that’s not as good an example as I first thought.  Never mind.

No, it’s a perfect example.  In Gary’s World you can get a point in the standings even though you lost.  It’s ok, guys, here’s your point, you were exploring overtime.

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 04/03/13 at 05:45 AM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

I really wish they’d go back to two points per game.  You win, you get two.  You lose, you get nada.  You tie, each team gets one. 

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 04/03/13 at 07:37 AM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

No, it’s a perfect example.  In Gary’s World you can get a point in the standings even though you lost.  It’s ok, guys, here’s your point, you were exploring overtime.

Posted by monkey from Fear and Loathing on 04/03/13 at 06:45 AM ET

In today’s America, no child ever loses. There are no losers anymore. Everyone’s a winner. No matter what the game or sport or competition, everybody wins. Everybody wins, everybody gets a trophy, no one is a loser. No child these days ever gets to hear those all-important, character building words: “You lost, Bobby!”
 
“You lost, you’re a loser, Bobby!” They miss out on that. You know what they tell a kid who lost these days? “You were the last winner.” A lot of these kids never get to hear the truth about themselves until they’re in their twenties. When their boss calls them in and says “Bobby, clean the shit out of your desk and get the fuch out of here, you’re a loser.”  -George Carlin

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 04/03/13 at 08:36 AM ET

RWBill's avatar

you were exploring overtime.
Posted by monkey from Fear and Loathing on 04/03/13 at 06:45 AM ET

Well it’s okay then, because in overtime there are no losers.

As Dennis said, Columbus and Edmonton can play each other and both gain on Detroit the same night.  Some games have 2 points, some have 3 points.

Posted by RWBill from #savethelivingroom #ihateCartmanbrah on 04/03/13 at 10:05 AM ET

RWBill's avatar

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA This is too perfect.  Weren’t we equating “Exploring” as a rationalization for being wrong?

KHAN (!) Red Wings’ trade options dwindling as deadline nears, but GM Ken Holland continues exploring

Posted by RWBill from #savethelivingroom #ihateCartmanbrah on 04/03/13 at 10:11 AM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

Kate, love the George Carlin quote.  And it’s exactly right.

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 04/03/13 at 10:14 AM ET

RWBill's avatar

OMG

Holland said “Some players we couldn’t get in the mix on. I’ll explore until the deadline.’‘

Hahahahahahahahahaha it’s ok not to make any moves Kenny, as long as you’re exploring.  No one is better than anyone else here.

Holland said on Tuesday. “I don’t know that there’s a lot out there. We’ll see what happens (Wednesday).’‘

Hahaha, because player moves just fall into your lap.

Posted by RWBill from #savethelivingroom #ihateCartmanbrah on 04/03/13 at 10:16 AM ET

RWBill's avatar

My nervous laughter aside, I agree with Holland that there is no sense making a trade for another depth player.  We have plenty of those already forward and defense.

Can you land Pomenville or Yandle?  He has stated he’s not going to trade a first round pick, so getting a top 6 forward or top pair defenseman isn’t likely to happen either.

Posted by RWBill from #savethelivingroom #ihateCartmanbrah on 04/03/13 at 10:27 AM ET

RWBill's avatar

Holland must be exploring, whore-style.

Posted by RWBill from #savethelivingroom #ihateCartmanbrah on 04/03/13 at 10:57 AM ET

dougie's avatar

If 2+2=5 (exploring), does that mean that all of the Red Wings will get a “Certificate of Participation” if they fail to make the playoffs?

Wouldn’t want to damage their self esteem, eh?

Posted by dougie on 04/03/13 at 12:16 PM ET

monkey's avatar

The regular season is the playoffs. It’s the first round

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 04/03/13 at 12:44 PM ET

MarkK's avatar

Although I’ve been more of a member of the 19 in-name-only lately, I thought the rest of you immature bastards would enjoy this as much as I did.

Posted by MarkK from Maryland on 04/03/13 at 12:54 PM ET

MarkK's avatar

Well crap, maybe Paul will come to the rescue and resize that for me. Otherwise, original here

Posted by MarkK from Maryland on 04/03/13 at 12:54 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

This is Phaneuf’s new shooting target.

elisha_cuthbert cr

Posted by RWBill from #savethelivingroom #ihateCartmanbrah on 04/03/13 at 01:46 PM ET

SYF's avatar

L.A. Lariviere @L_A_theRiver
Canucks G Roberto Luongo is said to have left the ice… @TVASports reports. #TradeTracker

Rut roh…

Posted by SYF from Alana Blanchard's Bikinis and Surfboards on 04/03/13 at 01:54 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

10 minutes to the trade desdline.

Zetterberg MAY return Thursday, that’s a good deadline pickup.

Helm to see another specialist, no pick up there.

Nyquist sits Sammy’s ass on the bench, no pick up there.

MEANWHILE:
It appears the Buffalo Sabres have dealt their captain, Jason Pominville, to the Minnesota Wild in exchange for goaltender Matt Hackett and forward Johan Larsson.


Wild had enough money to sign Parise, Suter AND still trade for Pominville.  BS!

Posted by RWBill from #savethelivingroom #ihateCartmanbrah on 04/03/13 at 01:59 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Columbus gets Marian Gaborik from the Rangers.  Been sort of a disappointment there, I think a lot of upside.

Posted by RWBill from #savethelivingroom #ihateCartmanbrah on 04/03/13 at 02:03 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

By a quick, unofficial count, 26 teams have been involved with deals since April 1.

Kenny really does like this team.

Posted by RWBill from #savethelivingroom #ihateCartmanbrah on 04/03/13 at 02:08 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Aaannd Luongo stays in VAN.

Posted by SYF from Alana Blanchard's Bikinis and Surfboards on 04/03/13 at 02:08 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

<crickets>

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 04/03/13 at 04:06 PM ET

dougie's avatar

Columbus gets Marian Gaborik from the Rangers.  Been sort of a disappointment there, I think a lot of upside.

Hasek thought he had some upside, and proved it.

Posted by dougie on 04/03/13 at 04:10 PM ET

edillac's avatar

damn, Gaborik would bring lots of excitement

Posted by edillac from isolation on 04/03/13 at 04:57 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Good thing Chief is in isolation in Rhode Island.  Possibly he is seething inside, conjuring up a narrative to be unleashed at a later time.

Posted by RWBill from #savethelivingroom #ihateCartmanbrah on 04/03/13 at 05:44 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

damn, Gaborik would bring lots of excitement

Posted by edillac from isolation on 04/03/13 at 05:57 PM ET

I don’t know if teams gave up very much for Gaborik or Pominville, two top 6 forwards like KH said he would try to get.

Posted by RWBill from #savethelivingroom #ihateCartmanbrah on 04/03/13 at 06:22 PM ET

MsRedWingFan's avatar

Franzen is a coaster.  saw a pic of him in the locker room and he even has coffee rings on his back.

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 04/01/13 at 08:59 PM ET

 

lmaooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo just spit cola all over the place hahaha LOL  LOL    LOL

Posted by MsRedWingFan from West Michigan hometown of Abdelkader on 04/03/13 at 06:22 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Will update POS tomorrow.  Sharks, StL, Edmonton all putting the squeeze on Detroit.  Even BJs made moves to get better.

Posted by RWBill from #savethelivingroom #ihateCartmanbrah on 04/03/13 at 11:45 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

meanwhile, the Wings traded for standout top six forward…......

Jack Shit!

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 04/04/13 at 02:08 AM ET

monkey's avatar

Good thing Chief is in isolation in Rhode Island.  Possibly he is seething inside, conjuring up a narrative to be unleashed at a later time.

If Detroit misses the playoffs, Holland will claim victory.  “See, it was a good thing I didn’t let go of any draft picks”.  HAHAHAHA Heads will explode.

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 04/04/13 at 06:26 AM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com