Abel to Yzerman
by IwoCPO on 04/15/12 at 11:40 AM ET
It’s a 5-game series now, Bubba. Three of those games will be at Detroit’s Joe Louis Arena. It’s dirty and the stairs are sticky. Working people go there and they drink cheap beer sold expensively. You have Vince Gill with a stupid t-shirt, we have a statue of the greatest hockey player in history. You have two skanks taking stupid pictures pretending to be Shea Weber. We have eleven Stanley Cup banners hanging from the most prolific rafters in the United States.
It’s back to the Joe where the team you face today didn’t lose for 23 straight games back when they were healthy.
The same JLA where you’ve never won a playoff game. Not one.
There are no train whistles at the Joe. There are no catfish…but we know why you throw them down in wannabeDetroit don’t we?
You won’t see the baby shit jerseys in Detroit today, Bubba. Not along the glass, not in the mez, not buying beer in the concourse. You’ll see red and white with numbers like 19 and 25, 16 and 24, by god.
You won’t hear “Who Let The Dogs Out”, and it’s unbelievable (almost) that we heard it in your cookie cutter arena during Game 2. You will hear the legendary Budd Lynch. You’ll hear the stylings of one Bullet Bob Seger and our Uncle Ted Nugent.
And you’ll hear some Journey when the time is exactly right.
You’re wading into hell today, Bubba. And just think how much easier you’d be breathing had you taken Game 2. A 2-0 lead would have been so relaxing, a pleasant stroll. Nothing better than a 2-0 lead, brother. We’ve been there. You? Nevermind. Don’t answer that, Bubba. That was cruel.
Hibernation could have been so easy for the Wings, Bubba. A few more months of sleep is what we all expected. Seriously. Our hopes weren’t high for this series. But now? Now we’re starting to think it just might be time for you to get your shine box.
It’s your own fault, with your brain-dead captain. And to think he wanted to be a Wing in a year or so. It’s your own fault with your Shananigans and your #webering.
Blame yourselves, Bubba. It didn’t have to be like this. But now Mecca beckons with a series on the line.
From the door of the Joe comes Satan’s daughter, and it only goes to show…
...you don’t fuch around in Houses of the Holy, Bubba.
It’s a Live Blog, bitches.
15 to 12 in ‘12.
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Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977. No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y. Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation. There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature. Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: email@example.com