Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Welcome To The Night Of The Living Dead

Updated below with Voox' annual DC contest.

As predicted...

...it's been a motherfucher of a day.  So we're starting way early, as I expect most of you are.

I'm in no mood for hijinks and I hope the Wings aren't either.

The Streak is the Thing right now.  Tomorrow we can worry about the next step that baby Jesus told us we should expect every season.  But tonite?

Tonite, it's all about 22.  

No other team in this damn league can lay current claim to the success of this organ-I-zation.  No other team can claim a fan base as rabid as you are, and I'll put ours--with our transplants and our Yoopers and our downriver puck bunnies--up against anyone's, Toronto and Montreal included.  

The streak continues tonite because it must.  The streak continues because every other team wants it to end, all other fans need it to end, every media member except ours (minus Drew Sharp and Pat Caputo) has the story already written and are just waiting to hit send.

Screw this league, this charade orchestrated by a shrew of a fraud commissioner.  Screw you, the fans of every other team. And I mean EVERY other team.  Detroit has carried this league.  The Red Wings have filled your warm-weather arenas and you can kiss all that revenue goodbye starting next October...finally.  

You pray for our demise but you can all suck it because this display of sustained superior performance continues tonite.

Extend The Streak, Wings. Just. Get. In.

It's a Live Blog, bitches.  All aboard. 

WAIT...DON'T LEAVE  YET.  This just in from Voox...

Playoff traditions are widespread, so let's get the word out again about our own playoff tradition.

The annual "Pierre McGuire is a Douche Canoe Ticket Contest" is back.  Get a sign on TV behind Pierre McGuire's head saying Pierre is a Douche Canoe and win tickets to a Maple Leafs regular season home game of your choice next year.

To ensure you get credit for this incredible public service, email douchecanoe.contest@gmail.com in advance so I can award the tickets to you once successful.  All emails will be strictly confidential, good luck to all.

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Comments

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Primis's avatar

Sooooo…

Get ready for it everyone.  Ducks are going to “lay the body” on the Wings and “try to outphysical” them and “blahblahblahblahhhhhhthisisarecordingfrom15yearsagoit’ssoold…”.  There’s going to be Selanne c*cks*cking, Hiller praise that defies explanation, and all kinds of talk about the Ducks’ run that conveniently ignores the fact that they stumbled in the last 12 games or so and were fortunate they’d built that cushion.

Also get ready for the “Wings are too old for this” line from media.  Because media really are that clueless, especially national media that barely acknowledge the West as it is.  Nevermind the youth all through the lineup…  Get ready for “Howard isn’t a big-time goalie” and “Howard is protected by DET’s defense” because people are that clueless to facts and reality as well.

Get ready for all of it.  It’s playoff time after all, and we’ve been here 22 years in a row and are more than familiar with how badly everyone, including the media, wants DET to be done and over with.

But not this year, noooo.  Not this time.  One last chance to terrorize and lay waste to the West.  One more chance to break the dreams of the likes of CHI, SJ, ANA, and others, like the Wings have done time and time before.

Somewhere in rural prairie Canada Shane Doan is going to sit down, flip on the TV, and watch a DET-ANA game because what better does he have to do?  And he’s going to silently root for ANA, because he knows what those meanies in DET do to dreams.  And then his rooting will not be so silently.  And then he’s going to scream and curse and throw something at his TV and make a dog bark, possibly kicking it.  And he’ll walk out of the room mumbling and yet have nothing better to do, because that’s what happens to fake, cowardly captains on sh*t teams in late April and early May when the games REALLY matter.  And then he’ll boot up a laptop and check out real estate again in Seattle.

In Dallas and Denver they’ll shake their heads.  Their time was so, so very long ago.  They’re now perennial doormats and have been for a while, and in the time that they rose, crashed and burned, and failed to rise again… DET’s still been there come the postseason.  And they’ll seethe, glad to be gone of them from their ranks while still working on the mythical Rebuild.

In Nashville Shea Weber’s going to accidentally turn a DET-ANA game on because he thought WWE was supposed to be on.  And then as the anger rises he’ll scream “SHEA SMASH!”, bash his own head against a wall, and black out.  And when he comes to he’s going to contact Nashville’s front office and demand a trade to a contender.

In Edmonton, the crack team of Kevin Lowe, Craig MacTavish, Kevin Lowe’s dog, and a pizza delivery guy are already working on the draft.  They might not get the 1st overall obvious pick, so they might have to actually think about it.  A TV will be on showing DET-ANA highlights as the room falls in silence realizing their own futility, finally broken with Lowe stating “So we’re in agreement?  The Mongolian kid with only one arm 1st, right?  Right Spot?”  “ARF!”  “GOOD BOY, does Spot want to be head coach?  DOES SPOT WANT TO BE HEAD COACH?!  Craig go get me some donuts and an espresso… and get the order right.  We all only get one chance in life, right?  *winkwinknudgenudge*”.

Somewhere in Buffalo, Ryan Miller’s going to flip on a DET game and decide “Screw this, I’m not sticking around for 4 or 5 more years of that, I’m outta’ here” for good.  Dominik Hasek will immediately call Buffalo and let them know he’s still available for Farewell Tour #79.

Somewhere in Tampa and Miami, execs that were rubbing their hands together looking forward to DET fans filling their barns 3 times a year are going to be thinking twice about it, and then calling to complain to Bettman about how unfair their division is and it should be realigned or something.

This isn’t fair.  DET was supposed to be dying, not kicking the sh*t out of the #2-seed in the playoffs?  WHY WON’T THEY JUST EVER DIE?!


It’s a freaking golden opportunity to torch the West, BURN THE PLAYOFFS DOWN, and absolutely put the fear of god into teams in both conferences.  Going out in style.

16 to 12.

Posted by Primis on 04/28/13 at 01:18 AM ET

monkey's avatar

You want to look at only goals?  Let’s do this.

Pavel Datsyuk has a career average of 0.32 goals per game.  This season he scored 15 goals in 47 games for an average of 0.32 goals per game.

Henrik Zetterberg has a career average of 0.37 goals per game.  This season he scored 11 goals in 46 game for an average of 0.24 goals per game.

Johan Franzen has a career average of 0.32 goals per game.  This season he scored 14 goals in 41 games for an average of 0.34 goals per game.

Justin Abdelkader has a career average of 0.11 goals per game.  This season he scored 10 goals in 48 games for an average of 0.21 goals per game.

Of these four guys only Zetterberg has shown a significant drop off.  But since we have already established his point totals are up from what is normal for him we can surmise his roll changed this year.  He was more of a setup man than a finisher- and there was someone who was finishing, or else his point totals would not have been so high.

If one guy has a lot of assists someone else has a lot of goals, or a bunch of guys have a lot of goals in the aggregate.

I am not arguing the Detroit Red Wings lacked scoring punch this year.  They did.  Their offense, overall, was weak.  I am showing that the lack of scoring was not reflected in the statistics of their top scorers.  What the Wings have lacked is tertiary and quaternary scoring.  Their defense scoring is probably way down as well although I am not going to look that up.

Red Wings team scoring this year was 2.54 goals per game.
In 2012 it was 2.91.
In 2011 it was 3.13.
In 2010 it was 2.72 (this was the year of the injuries)
In 2009 it was 3.53.
In 2008 it was 3.07.
In 2007 it was 3.07.
In 2006 it was 3.67.
In 2004 it was 3.11.
In 2003 it was 3.28.
In 2002 it was 3.06.
In 2001 it was 3.09.

We’re used to them averaging three goals per game; their teams in the Holland era have been built to score three and give up two.  We all know the stats about how they don’t lose when they score three or more goals.  Personally I think we’ll see a return to three goals per game once we get a healthy roster and we see some maturation from all these young guys (Nyquist, Tatar, Andersson, Smith, DeKeyser, etc)

Also, we wouldn’t have been bitching if they had been winning those games 1-0.  That’s not a slam on the defense or goaltending, incidentally, it’s commentary on the nature of us as fans.  The Red Wings d has been a great surprise.  Finished fifth in the league at 2.29 goals per game.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 04/28/13 at 08:19 AM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

The $5 million dollar man has been crazy good down the stretch.

Last 10 games:

v   STL 0-1
v   SJS 2-3 SO
@ CHI 2-3 SO
v NSH 3-0
@ CGY 2-3
@ VAN 1-2 SO
v PHX 4-0
v LAK 3-1
v NSH 5-2
@ DAL 3-0

GA in last 10 (not counting the gimmick goal):  12.

And look at the offense in the 4 must win games, 15 GF.

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 04/28/13 at 08:23 AM ET

Cwix's avatar

22 for 12

Posted by Cwix from Grand Rapids, now Chicago, IL on 04/28/13 at 08:31 AM ET

dougie's avatar

Wife: “You don’t look so stressed out today”

Me: “We had a GREAT week”

Wife:“Yeah, when I was at the shop yesterday, things were really busy.”

Conclusion: I should talk to her more often.

Posted by dougie on 04/28/13 at 08:34 AM ET

monkey's avatar

From Wikipedia: the five longest postseason appearance streaks in NHL history along with Stanley Cup titles won during those streaks.

Boston Bruins 29 seasons 1967–68 through to 1995–96 2 : 1969–70, 1971–72

Chicago Blackhawks 28 seasons 1969–70 through to 1996–97 none

St. Louis Blues 25 seasons 1979–80 through to 2003–04 none

Montreal Canadiens 24 seasons 1970–71 through to 1993–94 8 : 1970–71, 1972–73, 1975–76, 1976–77, 1977–78, 1978–79, 1985–86, 1992–93

Detroit Red Wings 22 seasons 1990–91 to present 4 : 1996–97, 1997–98, 2001–02, 2007–08

Posted by monkey from Finland on 04/28/13 at 09:34 AM ET

RWBill's avatar

Had NyQuick been on the line with Z and Pavel instead of Abdelkader, neither goal #1 or #3 would have happened.  On both Justin had the D and the goalie preoccupied and tied up, not even knowing where the puck was.  The goalie didn’t even see either one go in.  NyQuick would have been pushed out beyond the face of circle, and we know what happens when NHL goalies see shots coming.  Similarly a lot of the goals for that line occurred after Justin banged somebody into the boards and off the puck, something a smaller forward would not have been able to do, or sprinted out to the boards to get possession of the loose puck,.

Delicate “Can’t Touch This” goals don’t often happen in the playoffs, or for most teams this season.  It’s a bit of a different style or technique than what the Wings are accustomed to, but they haven’t been able to score enough the last two playoffs doing it the high-skill, need some space, style.  It’s good that we’re learning how to score physical, tough goals. 

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with creepy Rob Lowe. on 04/28/13 at 09:46 AM ET

RWBill's avatar

Babcock should be given a lot of credit for getting a cohesive combination of lines together.  No other coach had that many man games lost to injury and such a fluctuating roster to deal with.

One of the silliest things I’ve read on here is “The players have tuned out Babcock.”  Last time I read that here was the beginning of 2011-2012,  the Wings were about 5-5 or so.  Much bitching.  “The players have tuned out Babcock, he needs to go.”  From then until the beginning of February 2012 the Wings became the #1 team in the NHL, then had concurrent injuries to Lidstrom and Helm, and we’ve never played with them both healthy since.

Babcock is here and staying for the foreseeable future.  Like Abdelkader’s value to Datsyuk and Z, If you don’t understand why that is then you may be watching games, but not seeing.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with creepy Rob Lowe. on 04/28/13 at 09:49 AM ET

monkey's avatar

Babcock is here and staying for the foreseeable future.  Like Abdelkader’s value to Datsyuk and Z, If you don’t understand why that is then you may be watching games, but not seeing.

I like our coach.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 04/28/13 at 09:53 AM ET

RWBill's avatar

Conclusion: I should talk to her more often.

Posted by dougie on 04/28/13 at 08:34 AM ET

At least let her talk at you, as long as she believes you’re listening.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with creepy Rob Lowe. on 04/28/13 at 09:53 AM ET

RWBill's avatar

“The players have tuned out Babcock.”  Last time I read that here was the beginning of 2011-2012

That should say, the last time BEFORE LAST WEEK that I read that here….

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with creepy Rob Lowe. on 04/28/13 at 09:56 AM ET

monkey's avatar

The $5 million dollar man has been crazy good down the stretch.

Filpulla?

Posted by monkey from Finland on 04/28/13 at 10:01 AM ET

Red Winger's avatar

Hello, Eastern Conference, we’re the Detroit Mother-Fuching Red Wings

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 04/28/13 at 11:14 AM ET

Primis's avatar

So…. last night still happened, right?

Posted by Primis on 04/28/13 at 11:23 AM ET

mrfluffy's avatar

Is that what she said?

Posted by mrfluffy from A wide spot on I-90 in Montana on 04/28/13 at 11:40 AM ET

klank's avatar

Tara Tara Thai restaurant serves duck.. I know whats being served for lunch n Tuesday:  Duck Phrik Khing. 

Duck is so rubberery…

Posted by klank from the finest hot tub in Marin on 04/28/13 at 11:40 AM ET

Primis's avatar

Duck is so rubberery…

Posted by klank from undisclosed location on 04/28/13 at 11:40 AM ET

All the better to bounce them

Posted by Primis on 04/28/13 at 11:51 AM ET

Primis's avatar

So does Bert ever take the ice again?

Posted by Primis on 04/28/13 at 11:53 AM ET

RWBill's avatar

For no particular reason… team salary chart. 

I think Philly is already $3M over the cap for next year.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with creepy Rob Lowe. on 04/28/13 at 11:54 AM ET

klank's avatar

awesome post above, Primis

Posted by klank from the finest hot tub in Marin on 04/28/13 at 12:00 PM ET

Primis's avatar

I think Philly is already $3M over the cap for next year.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 04/28/13 at 11:54 AM ET

Their attrition will be natural.  They have fifteen d-men alone counting on NHL roster right now.  That’ll be a chunk of it.  Bryzgalov will likely be the other chunk.

Posted by Primis on 04/28/13 at 12:01 PM ET

IwoCPO's avatar

Aloha bitches.  Thank you baby jesus and thank you Captain Hank.

Abdelkader: I’m going to be writing highly complimentary things about this young man in the next 100 hours or so.  Before I do, a disclaimer: when we ripped Babcock about having Home Keys on Datsyuk’s line, that was not a slam on Gater.  We never said he was playing poorly, just misplaced.

Of course we were wrong, or at least I was.

Love the comment above showing Datsyuk’s, Zetterberg’s and Franzen’s yearly scoring averages compared to this season’s.  They have carried us.

Primis: you’ve been a stud the last few weeks.  Great stuff.

RWBill: thanks for keeping us consistently updated. 

Did you guys see that TeamDub made an appearance last night? 

Herm’s bar exam?  Any word?  Was he even close to sober? Do you need to be sober to pass the Nicaraguan bar?

Last night was disgusting at the ball park.  More on that later.  Stress almost overwhelmed me.  Rocking and fetal-like.

Jesus.  LGRW.  This is do-able.  Rummy, if I wasn’t starting a new job this week that I’m quite possibly not at all qualified for? I’d be there with you.

Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 04/28/13 at 12:11 PM ET

monkey's avatar

I am not arguing the Detroit Red Wings lacked scoring punch this year.

That should say “I am not arguing that the Detroit Red Wings did not lack scoring punch this year.”

Posted by monkey from Finland on 04/28/13 at 12:37 PM ET

SYF's avatar

All I remember is not breathing for any of the Wings goal up to 2-nil until Zata and Dangles got nostalgic and found E52 with so much time and space to unleash his 105 mph shot from the blue to make 3-nil wings.  Maybe it was the pints of Guinness the lovely cocktail waitress kept drowning me in.  All I know is after E52’s bomb from the blue, I looked up and saw nine (yes!) pints of St. Guinness on my table in front of me.

I would say something about Watson’s officiating but some things are better left unsaid…or in the flush of a toilet bowl.

But fuch-ever.  Wings are in for the 22nd year in a row and that’s the just start of something amazing.

Posted by SYF from the team that re-signed KFQ and DFC by KFH on 04/28/13 at 01:41 PM ET

MsRedWingFan's avatar

  The captain showing pure will there.
  Posted by Mandingo from The Garage on 04/27/13 at 07:42 PM ET

I remember another captain that used to will goals in too, he did alright for the Wings
Posted by Hootinani on 04/27/13 at 07:44 PM ET


Stevieeeeeeee Yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
  wink

  that’s alot of red in the lower bowl.  LGRW!
  Posted by klank on 04/27/13 at 07:15 PM ET

Agreed, and the Stars fans wearing seat covers it looks like.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 04/27/13 at 07:56 PM ET



good one lmao
  LOL

Posted by MsRedWingFan from West Michigan hometown of Abdelkader on 04/29/13 at 04:43 PM ET

MsRedWingFan's avatar

Babcock should be given a lot of credit for getting a cohesive combination of lines together.  No other coach had that many man games lost to injury and such a fluctuating roster to deal with.

One of the silliest things I’ve read on here is “The players have tuned out Babcock.”  Last time I read that here was the beginning of 2011-2012,  the Wings were about 5-5 or so.  Much bitching.  “The players have tuned out Babcock, he needs to go.”  From then until the beginning of February 2012 the Wings became the #1 team in the NHL, then had concurrent injuries to Lidstrom and Helm, and we’ve never played with them both healthy since.

Babcock is here and staying for the foreseeable future.  Like Abdelkader’s value to Datsyuk and Z, If you don’t understand why that is then you may be watching games, but not seeing.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 04/28/13 at 09:49 AM ET

  Bravo !!!!!!

Posted by MsRedWingFan from West Michigan hometown of Abdelkader on 04/29/13 at 05:38 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com