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Abel to Yzerman

Wednesday Digging

Updated at 0530 EST because I love the run-on sentence and thought I was the king of it, especially used in times of emotional duress, but now realize I’m just a frigging pawn in the big run-on scheme of things when compared to Steph at No Pun Intended who—based on the Pronger rant posted below—is truly the master.

According to former Deep Digger captain Ted Kulfan, our Miracle of Insanity met with the Boy Wonder yesterday and all the expected bribery, begging and ass kissing took place.

Detroit News

“Dom told me the same thing he’s been telling everyone else,” general manager Ken Holland said Tuesday after an exit meeting with the goaltender, 42.

“He said he wants to discuss it with his family, give it some thought and he’d come to a final decision in the next few weeks.”

It’s not just Holland or coach Mike Babcock who wants Hasek to return.

“I told Dom that many players have expressed that they want Dom to return, they enjoy playing with him, and have a lot of confidence in Dom,” Holland said.

I guess the secret’s out: the best way to convince Dom to do anything is prove to him he’s loved, or that he’s not.  Want him to stay? Show him a signed petition by the Wings and the members of the Osgood Puck Bunny Club who can actually write.

Want him to leave? Fire pucks at his head in practice. 

It’s really that simple.  He’ll stay.

Wanna see something gross?  How about Bill Wirtz mentioning the name Steve Yzerman in public?  Oh, don’t get all fretful.  It’s not an employment thing.

Chicago Daily Herald

“Did you tell them what Yzerman said?” Wirtz asked general manager Dale Tallon as he spoke with reporters about (Jonathan)Toews.

Steve Yzerman, the former Detroit Red Wings great, was the GM for Team Canada at last month’s World Championships, and he invited Toews to try out for the team as the only non-professional.

Toews (pronounced Taves) not only made the team but played a starring role as Canada won the gold medal.

“Yzerman said he was as good as any player he had,” Tallon said.

“He said he could play for Detroit,” Wirtz said.

Tallon then politely corrected his boss.

“Well, he’s going to play for the Blackhawks,” Tallon said.

There’s a new Wing blogger in town and his name is Jeremiah.  He runs a site called All Things Red Wings.  We return to the topic of Czech Sociopaths and his take on keeping metro Detroit mental institutions on full alert for one more year.

Now, if you want Dom gone, that’s cool, I respect your opinion. But again, I ask—who would you want in net, how much are you willing to pay (because Dom came at one heck of a value), and what goalie on that UFA list (if we’re not talking trade) would you want to play 55-65 games a year in Detroit?

Good question.  Answer: only one and he’s French and he’s not leaving Anaheim and even if he did he’s still French and he’s going to be way too expensive.

Finally: I really am no fan of Chrissie Pronger.  I think we’ve established that.  I just read Steph’s post-game-6 post at NPI and it made me warm.

I look at Chris Pronger and I see him raising the Cup and grinning with that stupid gap tooth and I see him stealing his pants back from Lauren for one last night of joyriding in Edmonton and I see him dancing with the Cup on Smytty’s doorstep chanting “Personal reasons, personal reasons,” like a broken stupid record and I know perfectly well my imagination is overactive and it’s more than likely he’ll sit in his bedroom while Lauren lectures him on how he didn’t make enough teams despise the very core of him this year and how pretty soon she’s going to take more than just the pants if he doesn’t start producing, and the Cup’s in the closet because she won’t let him touch it because he doesn’t deserve it so long as there’s so much as ONE fan like me who couldn’t realize the hate until it was too late, but I see it, in my brain, on repeat, a little grainy like some old horror film.

Absolute blogging brilliance.


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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com