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Abel to Yzerman

Want A Real All Star Game Gary?  Here You Go…No Charge

I can’t take credit for this idea, but I dig it and I’m going to tell you all about it anyway.  I read this suggestion somewhere yesterday as I was browsing the various blogs where Wing haters were sobbing about this and this.  I’ll try to track down who mentioned it yesterday and give credit where it’s due.  Also, it’s been done before...back when hockey was hockey and Gary wasn’t in the picture.

Here’s the idea:  Next year, when the Wings are defending their twelfth Stanley Cup title?  Select an All Star team who will play the Cup Champs.

Joey T. and Gary’s Baby Boy and Jarome and Chrissy and the girls in Chicago?  They’d be texting and BFF’ing all summer getting ready for this one.

You don’t think that will get some viewers?  You don’t think the Bitter Brittle Bitch Blues fans won’t be just a little eager to tune in for the slight chance that one of their own can actually contribute to defeating the Wings in a semi-meaningful game?  Denver? Nashville? Columbus? Chicago?  PITTSBURGH?

Oh yes.  They’d watch.

And you?  Holy hell…how much fodder do we need?  I swear to god you’d have to frigging give me a security detail if the Wings were to win that game.  We’d have to lock this place down because I’d be making some serious enemies.  You think the Anti-Wing crowd hates the 19 now?  And, yeah, take it from me, they really do. Wait until the Wings lay waste to a collection of the league’s best on Gary’s biggest stage.


Oh, logistics would be tough.  How are you going to get representation from 29 other teams?  Don’t care. Figure it out.  How are you going to fit them all on the bench? Don’t care. 

This idea is so good.  The PR could be so easily accomplished.  I can see it now. 

A slow zoom from the net cam right to Homer’s rear, a tremendous Independence Day shadow in the crease.  Voice over:  “This ass has been a menace for too long.  Now, finally, one man has decided enough is enough.  Brought to you by Gary Bettman, it’s the NHL All Star Game: The World Against The Wings.”

And then a close-up of Homer, a pause, and this:  “We will bring pucks with us and punt them behind men who try to hurt me with wood or graphite.”

Just an idea Gary.  A simple thought.  Give me the ok and I’ll run with it.

Might want to let the Wings know soon, though. January rooms in the Bahamas usually fill up about a year out.

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com