Abel to Yzerman
by VooX on 04/12/10 at 01:30 AM ET
Welcome to the Century Club, otherwise known as the Western Conference playoff standings.
I’m not a pharmacist and I’ve watched a fraction the hockey our friend HockeyTownTodd, aka Gramps and Eeyore, has watched this season. Thankfully I do little fact-checking and care less about stats. I am ideally qualified to render commentary on the playoff teams this season.
This is the only time I’m going to make this statement: As a Wings fan I expect the Wings to win the Stanley Cup every season. Even with this expectation, anything can and will happen during the playoffs. I am stocking up now for the antacids I’ll need to go through another playoff series with the Wings. While I am ever humble to what the playoff gods may bring, I choose to be loud and sarcastic. That is my right as a fan of the Red Wings, the best sports organ-I-zation in the world.
It may get pretty real around here. Fisticuffs are encouraged. Just step outside the bar to do it.
After the jump the A2Y Western Conference round one preview, there is no whining or diving allowed.
We’ll start at the “top” of the Western Conference and work our way down.
(1 ) San Jose vs. (8) Denver
Thornton is waiting on the Wizard for a heart. In the meantime, Heatley has been an infusion to Los Tiburones. They hope that’s the same thing as a heart. The Denver Dive are terrible. Duschene is the real deal and he is young, Anderson is not and he is young. They ended up with 95 pathetic points. Not enough for the Century Club. If they had any balls they’d have gotten 99 points, but word is they heard the number was retired league-wide and didn’t want to approach it.
Thornton doesn’t lose all his guts until it really counts. He’ll be fine enough in the first round to help the Dive along in their nose dive into misery, despair, and turmoil. The Denver “bandwagon” will be decimated in sorrow, and I will revel in their misery once again.
(2) Chicago vs. (7) Nashville
The Hawks, Junior, is scary. Bubba is scary, too, but for entirely different reasons, mostly genetics-related.
Junior realized that Huet sucks and took an old racing adage seriously. “If you wanna win, get a Finn.” Huet is out and a crazy Finn is in. A dynamite line-up relies on their goaltending to carry them through. Junior sure loves following the Wings’ storyline.
Bubba is a good test for the Hawks. They play a very dedicated defensive game that will put you to sleep as they don’t have any real offensive firepower to counter attack effectively. The neutral zone is like a waistline in Nashville, it is clogged completely. Just the thing to give Junior fits trying to get around. Junior will win, but their psyche will be damaged.
(3) Vancouver vs. (6) Los Angeles
I admit that I don’t watch much non-Wing hockey. Not like Gramps. Some say behind his eyepatch is a feed to NHL stats central. Others say there is a photoshop of Li’l Gary, which is why Gramps is always grinning. All we know is that Gramps has been telling us that Vang-couver is a good team all season.
I believe him. The Canucks finally found some offensive firepower from the Sedins and, ironically, William Tell. Luongo may have his ups and downs but he is Stevie’s and Uncle Mike’s choice to win Gold, that’s good enough for me.
LA has potential to upset Vang-couver. Johnson is a native of the Michigan system. The Masshole may not appreciate him, but the 19 do. If their goaltending holds, I can see the Kings upsetting the post-Olympic party in Vang-couver. The West Coast will be devastated and marijuana prices will be driven higher throughout Canada. Supply and Demand is a bitch.
(4) Winnipeg vs. (5) Detroit
This is where most of you likely skipped to. Only the Wings matter to the 19 once the playoffs begin. The Wings are the reason the Hasek Club Car exists. This playoff series could have serious implications, seriously.
The Winnipeg Jets were ripped out of the city and that left a bitter taste in my mouth. When the Red Wings beat the Coyotes, the Jets will assuredly be returning to their rightful home in Winnipeg.
The Desert Dogs have been an anonymous team to me. If their hometown fans couldn’t be bothered to attend games when they did so well, why should I have cared to watch them all season? Truthfully, as a Wings fan a hot goalie in the playoffs always scares me in the post season. I decided to watch a recent Winnipeg game, and I wasn’t impressed. They don’t have what it takes to beat the Wings in a seven game series.
The Wings have too much offensive firepower to be held back by a weak D and a hot goalie. Look for the Wings to send the Dogs on a Jet to Winnipeg. I dig that.
Uncle Mike will make Tippet his desert bitch. More soon.
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About Abel to Yzerman
Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977. No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y. Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation. There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature. Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: firstname.lastname@example.org