Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Strange…Are Those The Lights of Whitefish Bay?

The other day I made mention of the fact that Ryan Getzlaf hasn't won a faceoff since 2009.   That's just a fact, and I can cite the references if you need me to get all redolent on you.  I also said he'd been ineffective.  That, right there, was dumb and stays dumb today.  He's been highly dangerous, a wicked man with a stupid long face and horrible hair.

But...

...while he's been a threat to score on almost every shift, he's remained a little bitch.  Late in the third last night, not like "hand me that shot of kerosene, they gave up another third period lead" late, but still pretty late...he skated back to his bench and was exchanging words with a serial killer.  Getzlaf said something. Bertuzzi said something. Brian Engblom looked down at his tummy and got nervous.  Bertuzzi said something else and then Getzlaf got really mad, closed his little hand into a fist with his big glove, reared back and punched the glass. Once.  Then he got madder and decided he'd had enough so, by god, he punched that glass again.  Engblom wet his pants and Todd Bertuzzi just stared and imagined waterboarding Getzlaf while the stirring sounds of Walter Egan's "Magnet and Steel" played in the background.

video added at 11:28am (Paul)

 

If Anaheim had won last night, Getzlaf and Corey Perry would have shared a very small hot tub after the game and Bruce Boudreau would have served them both bowls of Kashi cereal.  As he alternated placing spoonfuls of the vegan delight into the delicate mouths of his two bitch stars, Perry would have been laughing about the fact that he blatantly tripped former Dive Kyle Quincey before Bobbie Ryan's game-tying, liver-crushing goal.  He knew it. I saw it. You saw it.  Everyone saw it, except for...

Kyle Quincey, working behind Detroit's net, either tripped on Corey Perry's foot or the post.

 

That's Mark Whicker, from the Orange County Register.

It's almost beyond belief that anyone could literally type those words in that order and form a sentence that comes out so stupid like that one does even if the grammar is mostly right.  It's just so...dumb.  

Perry tripped Quincey, with his stick, which is the single most important thing he's done with his stick the entire series.  And then Perry started talking, and Getzlaf kept talking and neither one of them seemed to know how to stop.  Both of them talking to the Wings at the same time, any Wing they could find. Brian Engblom chiming in asking if they were all going to eat at Sizzler, because Getzlaf had said they were gonna eat at Sizzler if they won this game.

But they didn't win.  Hank Zetterberg did, and he didn't say a word.  Datsyuk said nothing after his ridiculous goal.  Abelkader hasn't said a word since Shanny suspended him.  Zetterberg said even less after his first goal.  They, the Wings, don't "yap". It's not in their nature.  It's definitely in Getzlaf's, and it defines Perry's.  They talk. A lot.  And then they lose.  And Bertuzzi just stares and imagines pleasant things.

Chicago is going to be rested.  The next round is just...if we get there, we can discuss it but the odds will be so steep.

For now? I just really want to see a handshake line. I want to see Getzlaf and Perry silently shuffling as a dark shadow approaches them, a toothless killer, a bearded, brooding, bastard of a killer, gets closer and closer.  

Round 2 is round 2.  All I want now, baby Jesus, is some sadness. Deep regret. I want to see those two mouthy teenage girls get what's coming to them.  They never should have talked like that.  Because that kind of talk comes back around. 

Shut 'em up Wings.

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Comments

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Down River Dan's avatar

Thanks for the pics of the non trip RWBill. 

NHL site has good video of this play , and if you stop it just after the trip, you will see the referee in the corner looking DIRECTLY at Quincey sprawled on the ice and doing nothing?

Posted by Down River Dan on 05/11/13 at 01:55 PM ET

klank's avatar

the afternoon is gloriously sunny today.  nailed it, Command Master Chief!

Posted by klank from the finest hot tub in Marin on 05/11/13 at 02:06 PM ET

Primis's avatar

Filppula delenda est.

Posted by Primis on 05/11/13 at 02:28 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Jesus Lashoff returns to GR and Wings recall McCollum to the big club.

Eh?

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 05/11/13 at 02:28 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Just underway in the GR - TOR game.

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 05/11/13 at 02:35 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Scusi.  Just under two minutes left in the first period.  Still scoreless.

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 05/11/13 at 02:36 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Radio play-by-play.  GR Feed.  If you’re interested, Jesus Lashoff interview at the first intermission.

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 05/11/13 at 02:39 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Jesus Lashoff says that Dangles is a vocal leader in the dressing room.  Really?

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 05/11/13 at 02:51 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Jesus Lashoff returns to GR and Wings recall McCollum to the big club.

Eh?

Posted by SYF from the Flood on 05/11/13 at 03:28 PM ET

If I know Babcock, McCollum will start.  Give the kid some experience.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 05/10/13 at 11:09 PM ET

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 05/11/13 at 02:55 PM ET

SYF's avatar

If I know Babcock, McCollum will start.  Give the kid some experience.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 05/10/13 at 11:09 PM ET

Posted by monkey from Finland on 05/11/13 at 03:55 PM ET

Shaddaaap…

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 05/11/13 at 03:07 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Tomas Jurco!  1-nil Grifs after 21 SOGs.

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 05/11/13 at 03:14 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Dammit.  Tied at 1-1.  Seven and a half periods of shutout hockey by Mrazek ended (7-nil winner against the Aeros and 7-nil winner last night against the Marlies).

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 05/11/13 at 03:20 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Catch y’all on the flipside, 19.  Go Grifs.

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 05/11/13 at 03:23 PM ET

Primis's avatar

Official attendance at that Marlies/Griffs game is listed at 3891.

Really Toronto?

Posted by Primis on 05/11/13 at 03:26 PM ET

Alan's avatar

Official attendance at that Marlies/Griffs game is listed at 3891.

The local ECHL team, the Gwinnett Gladiators, have attracted up to three times that number in attendance this past season (even beating out the Coyotes (their NHL affiliate) at times)

Posted by Alan from Atlanta on 05/11/13 at 03:41 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

If I know Babcock, McCollum will start.  Give the kid some experience.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 05/10/13 at 11:09 PM ET

OMFHelm you did say that last night!

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 05/11/13 at 04:31 PM ET

monkey's avatar

OMFHelm you did say that last night!

I don’t make these things up.  I know stuff.

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 05/11/13 at 04:53 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Good Luck Grifs.  You can tell the Franchise wants them to do the best because they left Mrazek there and brought up McCollum.  wtf? 

One things for sure, we will go from almost no penalties called to a penalty infested whoreshack come Sunday night. Consistency at its finest.

Posted by NIVO from underpants gnome village on 05/11/13 at 01:01 PM ET

I expect Anaheim to get a couple of iffy Power Plays in the first period, but the refs will settle down for two periods to let them play, then make some unbelievably inconsistent jack ass call in the third period or overtime to affect the outcome of the game.  NOTE:  This rarely goes in favor of the visiting team.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 05/11/13 at 04:55 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

I don’t make these things up.  I know stuff.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 05/11/13 at 05:53 PM ET

LIke Joseph on his Wedding Night.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OsGyv1CqRuQ

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 05/11/13 at 05:03 PM ET

Savage Henry's avatar

The local ECHL team, the Gwinnett Gladiators, have attracted up to three times that number in attendance this past season (even beating out the Coyotes (their NHL affiliate) at times)

Go Glads!  Too bad they had to play most of their ‘home’ playoff games on the road this past round.  Oh, well, I guess Disney on Ice fills the building . . .

Posted by Savage Henry on 05/11/13 at 05:18 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

If you’re desperate to kill a few minutes and keep checking back here on a travel day, this is an interview with Justin Verlander’s mother a couple of days ago on a local radio station in Richmond, VA.


http://www.sportsradio910.com/media/podcast-wes-mcelroy-TheFinalRound/kathy-verlander-mother-of-justin-verlander-23197457/

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 05/11/13 at 05:34 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

I’ve been trying like hell to find it but am just having no luck.  After the Ducks got put out in 2009, there was video of Hiller crying like the little bitch he is.  Man I would love to find some pics of that.

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 05/11/13 at 05:38 PM ET

Primis's avatar

The local ECHL team, the Gwinnett Gladiators, have attracted up to three times that number in attendance this past season (even beating out the Coyotes (their NHL affiliate) at times)

Posted by Alan from Atlanta on 05/11/13 at 04:41 PM ET

Well in fairness all minor pro teams see a dip in attendance for playoffs.  It’s because of the short notice for scheduling.  Gwinnett only averaged 3,249 for the playoffs (4 games) this year.

HOWEVER… Toronto bills itself as a hockey mecca deserving of a 2nd NHL team.  And on a day like today (no NBA, no Leafs playing, Jays are playing but in Boston) with no real competition in the market, 3900 is just not good enough attendance.  Not when the AHL team is the farm team of the Leafs, in that same market.

Posted by Primis on 05/11/13 at 05:53 PM ET

Avatar

Corry Perry is a bitch.  I just like sayin that.  A whiny one at that.

This particular version of the Wings is growing on me.  I hope they can pull it out tomorrow.

Posted by Jeff from CO. on 05/11/13 at 05:58 PM ET

dougie's avatar

Uh…Fils can shove his new contract up his ass sideways?

Posted by SYF from the Flood on 05/11/13 at 01:57 PM ET

Uh…Fils can fold his new contract until it is all corners, light it on fire, and shove it up his ass sideways.

Posted by dougie on 05/11/13 at 06:14 PM ET

redxblack's avatar

I was just reading Scientific Proof Magazine, and they said Perry and GetzLaughs are both in fact bitches and Filppula should be headed to Calgary to team up with a Czech midget pimp.

Posted by redxblack from Akron Ohio on 05/11/13 at 06:54 PM ET

Primis's avatar

Watching the Islanders/Pens game and…

They showed a shot of the arena and the Islanders’ banners.  And it got me to thinking: “You know, the NHL should do something about that”.  Philly too.  Montreal too.  Edmonton as well.  Just as examples.

Anyone else think the league should give say… a 25-year period with which to hang individual team achievement banners, and after that time they need to be moved to say, a combined banner listing all the Cups, or division titles, or whatever?  That way recent titles can be celebrated still, but titles from 40 years ago aren’t still being held as some sort of sad reminder?

Because honestly with a team like Edmonton or the Islanders, it’s kinda’ ludicrous that they should have any banners hanging for as bad as they’ve now been for so long.  I can’t imagine it’s intimidating to anyone, including fans, to then go “Ohyeah, that’s right, they were awesome… THIRTY YEARS AGO”.


On a related note… what if a team that DIDN’T win a Cup hung one anyways?  What if Pegula in Buffalo decided “You know what, f*ck the NHL and f*ck Brett Hull and his foot.  We got screwed” and decided to hang a Cup banner for that year.  Could the league stop him?

Posted by Primis on 05/11/13 at 07:29 PM ET

PaulinMiamiBeach's avatar

sad reminder?

how in the hell is this a sad reminder?

I call that hallowed history, not a sad reminder.

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 05/11/13 at 07:41 PM ET

Primis's avatar

I call that hallowed history, not a sad reminder.

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 05/11/13 at 08:41 PM ET

Yeah but honestly, I figure if you’ve gone 25 years without being able to put something up there…

It’s only a “hallowed history” in DET because we have other, more-recent banners to put up there with them.  Otherwise, honestly… it’d be kinda’ sad, something that would cause anger even.  Detroit would be just, I dunno’... Montreal.

Posted by Primis on 05/11/13 at 07:46 PM ET

Alan's avatar

Toronto bills itself as a hockey mecca deserving of a 2nd NHL team.

That is the only reason I even mentioned the ECHL team.

Well. That, and to take a dig at the Coyotes. Can’t resist that. Ever.

Gwinnett only averaged 3,249 for the playoffs (4 games) this year.

I don’t have a horse in that race. However, I’m pretty certain most of their “home” games were played on the road due to an arena scheduling issue (the issue, of course, being that the scheduling folks won’t reserve dates for home playoff games).

My point, while indirect, still stands. Some of those players on the Marlies are the future of the Leafs. You’d think there would be more support.

Posted by Alan from Atlanta on 05/11/13 at 08:01 PM ET

PaulinMiamiBeach's avatar

ok I see what you mean Primis.  I guess as Wings fans we don’t know anything about that grin

I say we just let other fans have their sad reminders LOL

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 05/11/13 at 08:03 PM ET

Hootinani's avatar

Jesus Lashoff returns to GR and Wings recall McCollum to the big club.

Eh?

Posted by SYF from the Flood on 05/11/13 at 03:28 PM ET

This is just some form of cruel and unusual punishment for McCollum, and not a sign Jimmy is hurt, right?  You know, taunting him with an NHL playoff game that he’ll never, ever get to experience from the ice.

Right?  Guys?

Posted by Hootinani on 05/11/13 at 08:29 PM ET

Primis's avatar

This is just some form of cruel and unusual punishment for McCollum, and not a sign Jimmy is hurt, right?  You know, taunting him with an NHL playoff game that he’ll never, ever get to experience from the ice.

Right?  Guys?

Posted by Hootinani on 05/11/13 at 09:29 PM ET


If I know Babcock, McCollum will start.  Give the kid some experience.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 05/10/13 at 11:09 PM ET


Shaddaaap…

Posted by SYF from the Flood on 05/11/13 at 04:07 PM ET

Posted by Primis on 05/11/13 at 08:51 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Anyone else think the league should give say… a 25-year period with which to hang individual team achievement banners, and after that time they need to be moved to say, a combined banner listing all the Cups, or division titles, or whatever?  That way recent titles can be celebrated still, but titles from 40 years ago aren’t still being held as some sort of sad reminder?

They should also un-retire numbers once no one can remember those guys anymore.  Terry Sawchuk?  Ain’t no one got time for dat.

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 05/11/13 at 10:13 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Posted by Primis on 05/11/13 at 09:51 PM ET

You beat me to it.  Thanks.

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 05/11/13 at 10:14 PM ET

monkey's avatar

If I know Babcock, McCollum will start.  Give the kid some experience.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 05/10/13 at 11:09 PM ET

Are you from the future?

Posted by calquake on 05/10/13 at 11:33 PM ET

 

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 05/11/13 at 10:15 PM ET

YOUNG PUCK's avatar

G’day monkey, primus. What’s happening. We winning game 7?

Posted by YOUNG PUCK on 05/12/13 at 01:03 AM ET

MsRedWingFan's avatar

hahahaha Engblome looks he wants outta there hahahha “please momma don’t let em hurt me”

Posted by MsRedWingFan from West Michigan hometown of Abdelkader on 05/13/13 at 09:24 AM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com