Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Spokes In A Great Big Winged Wheel

I'm writing this at 0900 PST and the last thing George told me was that William Tell is in for the Strangler.  Note to Sobotka, reinforce the glass behind the nets...hell, ALL the glass.  A hail of rubber is headed your way.  

I've decided Justin Abdelkader is my huckleberry today.  I have a feeling, an inkling really.  Something tells me this young man is going to be a wrecking ball of a force tonite in front of hockey's greatest fan base, in hockey's greatest arena, with banners hanging down and fat men with red cheeks sputtering while aging Fins, balding assholes and a pansy named Perry get angrier and angrier.  

It's a big one.  A big fat one.  

Hope you enjoyed your Saturday, used your time wisely to prepare yourselves for what's to come.  Somewhere, Larry Murphy is incoherent.  Somewhere closer Darren Helm is wondering what he's done to baby Jesus.  I keep waiting for the game that he's just, without fanfare, announced as a starter.  Surprise me.  I dig it.  Fairy tales, I know.

It's a Live Blog, you bitches.  Grab your seats.  Unwrap the cheddar.  Hide the pets. Warn the neighbors.  Keep your whore mouths shut unless the situation is clearly deserving.  

LGRW. 15 to 12.  

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Comments

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Pugna Vox's avatar

My God, man. 140-some minutes to puck drop. This LB will be a seething bedlam of dissed and drunkorderly, fractured stress, and faintly redolent of vomit before Karen hits her final note. Time to strap in, whore style.

LGRW

Posted by Pugna Vox from Idiot Out Wandering Around on 05/04/13 at 04:16 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

Can’t wait to hear the home crowd roar!

LET’S GO RED WINGS !!!!!

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 05/04/13 at 04:24 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Samuelsson said. “Just skate hard and hit guys. That’s where I’m going to start, and hopefully I’ll get a feel for the puck. … I can play hard around the puck. It doesn’t matter how much (time) you missed.’‘

Posted by RWBill from Brush Street cruising with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 05/04/13 at 04:27 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Let the Live Bickering commence!

I almost feel sorry for Whiter Shade of Fail. He probably thought he’d be in the line up tonight when he heard DelTaco busted his thumb. Damn glad it’s Lashoff, though.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 05/04/13 at 04:35 PM ET

Yzersyuk's avatar

Might be the only chance I get so <L.G.R.W>

Posted by Yzersyuk on 05/04/13 at 04:38 PM ET

Zqto's avatar

I have never had a saturday pass by so freaking slow in my entire life…

START THE GAME ALREADY!!

LGRW!

Posted by Zqto on 05/04/13 at 04:52 PM ET

Zqto's avatar

Posted by Yzersyuk

DUDE…  That nickname, with that avatar
It took me about 2 minutes to understand the knot in my brain!

NICE!

Posted by Zqto on 05/04/13 at 04:53 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

whiney duh-ucks ...

time to frustrate ‘em some more, boys.

L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 05/04/13 at 05:00 PM ET

NIVO's avatar

ran out of beer, been bullshittin around the grill all day. Mixing rum with Minute Maid Fruit Punch now, more dogs on the way. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Posted by NIVO from underpants gnome village on 05/04/13 at 05:02 PM ET

VooX's avatar

Get good and surly because I predict that the *ucks will be seeking revenge for taking game 2 in their pond.  If we escape with anything less than a broken thumb, it will defy the laws of fissix. We have a cage in the corner, it will be used to settle winner-take-all grudge matches and twerking competitions featuring the various girls RWBill found at train stations along the way.. 

Drinking rituals have been made during winning streaks.  Dougie, I’m looking at you.  Ditto for you, Chief.  You know what you have to do, bitches. 

I NOW consider the Hasek Club Car to be open for business.

Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 05/04/13 at 05:13 PM ET

cigar_nurse's avatar

Hola bitches. Driving back from Myrtle beach to Chucktown on my anniversary weekend. Will meet back up with you reprobates later after going to dinner. What shall we have? Seafood or seafood?

Saw the winning goal by the Islanders in a bar last night and a bunch of dejected pen(is) fans after. Suck it.

Go get em Wings. Avenge Delkeyser

Posted by cigar_nurse from Greenville South Cakalakee on 05/04/13 at 05:16 PM ET

PaulinMiamiBeach's avatar

My brother and his girlfriend flew into Ft Lauderdale this morning. been drinking rum n coke by the pool all day. I politely informed them, around noon “oh yeah, the Wings game is on at 7:30 and I don’t know what you had in mind for tonight….” It was a nice distraction for the afternoon, but the stress is starting to kick in. Which Wings will we see tonight? the “it’s home ice and we’re the destroyers” or “it’s home ice and we’re framing out.” i’ll say this, I’m actually glad Sammy is playing. I don’t care if he gets any shots on net. His job, tonight, is to fuel the Duhucks meltdown. few players are better at getting under the opponents’ skin, and few teams are more vulnerable to it than the Sucks. ok so that was autocorrect, and apparently autocorrect is on fore today. I’m worried, though. my brother has never seen, firsthand, me during playoff hockey. is he going to think I need an intervention? probably depends on which Wings show up tonight. is it 7:30 yet? just kill me now and save me the anguish.

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 05/04/13 at 05:24 PM ET

PaulinMiamiBeach's avatar

freaking out. FREAKING out. not framing out. Damn you, autoconjunction

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 05/04/13 at 05:25 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

” autoconjunction “

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 05/04/13 at 06:25 PM ET


bwahahaha

ain’t technology great?

L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 05/04/13 at 05:37 PM ET

calquake's avatar

My God, man. 140-some minutes to puck drop. This LB will be a seething bedlam of dissed and drunkorderly, fractured stress, and faintly redolent of vomit before Karen hits her final note. Time to strap in, whore style.

So what’s your point? cheese

I NOW consider the Hasek Club Car to be open for business.

I Now Consider The Hasek To Be A Hall Of Fame Vehicle.

Posted by calquake on 05/04/13 at 05:38 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Damn you, autoconjunction

Misfunction at the autoconjunction.

Posted by calquake on 05/04/13 at 05:40 PM ET

Down River Dan's avatar

Hey gang of 19 and 1 annoying newcomer. A last minute work assignment has me fixing the robots that make your shiny new Fords this evening instead of watching the game. This means I will be living the game through your running commentary. No doubt Sammi is a beast tonite on the pp. Here’s to a 6-2 victory. Go Wings.

Posted by Down River Dan on 05/04/13 at 05:42 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Hey cal, you doing OK withbthevfire out your way?

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 05/04/13 at 05:43 PM ET

Avatar

Headed over the yardhouse next to Jobing.com in order to enjoy the game, as I don’t have cable/sat etc. and gamecenter live doesn’t work for the postseason.  Why must you make it so hard NHL?

In some odd stroke of luck I’m able to attend game 5 as I have training in Costa Mesa next week… the odds!

I really hope I’m seeing a game where Detroit is up 3-1.

Posted by neffernin on 05/04/13 at 05:43 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Damn iPad. With the fire out your way.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 05/04/13 at 05:44 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

next year ‘every’ playoff game will be at this time. only fourteen games at an earlier time i think.

would be nice if sammy earned 25% of his contract tonight. how many games has he played this year?

gordie howe hat trick sammy, like the sound of that.

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 05/04/13 at 05:47 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

” withbthevfire “

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Warm and sunny SoCal on 05/04/13 at 06:43 PM ET

bwahahaha

ain’t technology great?

L.G.R.W.

 

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 05/04/13 at 05:48 PM ET

cigar_nurse's avatar

Did the hemp crop survive the wildfires Cal?

Seriously hope you and yours made out all right.

Posted by cigar_nurse from Greenville South Cakalakee on 05/04/13 at 05:48 PM ET

dougie's avatar

This just in. Monkey, redmenace, and myself are in a high-level roundtable meeting involving beer, rum, and pulled pork. And 2 types of cheddar.

We are busy discussing each and every problem the Wings will ever have, and coming up with some very insightful insights.

We will post our manifesto later. Bitches.

Posted by dougie on 05/04/13 at 05:50 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

RWBill, bad news.  Keira Knightley got married today.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/04/keira-knightley-married-james-righton_n_3215263.html

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 05/04/13 at 05:52 PM ET

Primis's avatar

It would be fantastic if tonight the Joe became a Ducks’ Nightmare.  Make it so.

And I’m saying that to team and fans alike.

Posted by Primis on 05/04/13 at 05:58 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

if you’re killing time before the game, take a couple minutes and read RWBill’s request for the ‘A2Y map’ here.

L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 05/04/13 at 06:03 PM ET

monkey's avatar

This just in. Monkey, redmenace, and myself are in a high-level roundtable meeting involving beer, rum, and pulled pork. And 2 types of cheddar.

We are busy discussing each and every problem the Wings will ever have, and coming up with some very insightful insights.

We will post our manifesto later. Bitches.

*#$%@& a man.  It’s on now.

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 05/04/13 at 06:08 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Posted by OlderThanChelios from Grand Rapids, MI on 05/04/13 at 05:58 PM ET

I was wondering why I didn’t have you in there, I looked up and down the list twice.  Some of them had dropped out with broken links.

Posted by RWBill from Brush Street cruising with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 05/04/13 at 06:15 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Damn iPad. With the fire out your way.

The game of life is a matter of inches, bitches… or in this case which way the wind was blowing.  If it had been an on-shore wind we’d have had a much worse story.  The fire was bad, the wind made it explosive and fast.  I’m extremely lucky and grateful.

Did the hemp crop survive the wildfires Cal?

What?  Did you say something?

 

We will post our manifesto later. Bitches.

Der Drei Marionettes? cheese

Posted by calquake on 05/04/13 at 06:18 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

RWBill, bad news.  Keira Knightley got married today.
Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Warm and sunny SoCal on 05/04/13 at 06:52 PM ET

Geezo they look younger than everyone at my Prom, and post prom pig freak.

?6

Posted by RWBill from Brush Street cruising with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 05/04/13 at 06:20 PM ET

Zqto's avatar

if you’re killing time before the game, take a couple minutes and read RWBill’s request for the ‘A2Y map’ here.

L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78

Thanks a bunch, I didnt get the original post!
=D

Posted by Zqto on 05/04/13 at 06:21 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Der Drei Marionettes? cheese

Or more correctly… Die drei Marionetten?  Ain’t technology wonderful?

Posted by calquake on 05/04/13 at 06:22 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Posted by calquake on 05/04/13 at 07:18 PM ET

I was checking out maps of the fires, not sure if you were all the way out in Ventura city or somewhere in betwixt Thousand Oaks and there. 

It apparently does not take long to start torching miles and miles.

Posted by RWBill from Brush Street cruising with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 05/04/13 at 06:23 PM ET

Zqto's avatar

Wait, wat?

Herm is from Sao Paulo?
I had the impression he was from Rio de Janeiro

Posted by Zqto on 05/04/13 at 06:23 PM ET

Cwix's avatar

I’m speechless, kudos, MC

Posted by Cwix from Grand Rapids, now Chicago, IL on 05/04/13 at 06:26 PM ET

PaulinMiamiBeach's avatar

  Ain’t technology wonderful?

only if they have figured out a way to attach a new thumb for Del Keiser within the next 5 minutes.

if not… *#$%@& technology.

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 05/04/13 at 06:26 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

Bonjour!

There’s Captain Z on my TV!

LET’S GO RED WINGS !!!!!

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 05/04/13 at 06:27 PM ET

klank's avatar

one shift, one goal, one period at a time boys.  skate.. er, dance with urgency. 

3rd line (Gus, Joakim, Brun) has my vote for LOTG.

LGRW!

Posted by klank from the finest hot tub in Marin on 05/04/13 at 06:28 PM ET

calquake's avatar

It apparently does not take long to start torching miles and miles.

Here’s the worst part… no one yet knows how the fire started (insofar as I have read or heard) but it started close to the freeway.  Odds are it was one of two things… hot muffler pulled over tall grass (which does exist near the freeway shoulders) or someone flicked a butt from their car.  P.S.A. Smoke all you want.  Just don’t be a *#$%@& and use some common sense.

Posted by calquake on 05/04/13 at 06:31 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com