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Abel to Yzerman

Speak Too Soon, Shane? Yeah, We Think So Too

“Bryzgalov is probably the best player in this series”

—Shane Doan

Woops.

Shane, a nifty gift of a ditty bit of advice before this gets any uglier:  STFU.

That “best player in this series”?  Yeah, he’s given up ten goals over the last two games against Detroit that meant a damn thing.  Bury this mystique please.  Dig a hole, toss it in, piss on it and bury it for good.  I’ve read a few comments today, saying he’s not going to be giving up those goals too often, that Bryzgalov is something we should fear, a menace.  And that’s based on what, exactly?  The guy had a chance at history in his own backyard last year and he gave up a touchdown.  Two straight garbage outings and we’re still scared?  I fear the playoffs and all that they bring with them. But guess what?  He’s no better than any other goalie still playing hockey right now.  And that includes ours. 

 

Here’s a few observations from last evening:

How creative.  Both Keith Jones and Jeremy “Douche Dinghy” Roenick picked the Coyotes last night.  Shocking.  Both of those tools made a career of losing to the Wings in a variety of different uniforms.  What exactly did they base those predictions on? Gut feelings, I suppose.  Bitterness and bad memories, plus a whole shitload of hope is more like it. 

OLN commentators, plus the ESPN anchor talking to Barry Melrose today, all said Detroit was “flat” the first period.  Really? I didn’t see it that way. It took them a while to get any sustained pressure, but the Wing PK was amazing and so was Howard.  And when we weren’t shorthanded it looked to me like the legs were moving.  But I do admit this:  nothing got them going like the frigging serial killer.  Holy Hell.  We’ve got ourselves a new hometown hero and tell me that last night didn’t cement the big psycho’s love for our town.  He may never leave.
 
“Todd Ber-Tu-zzi” again and again.  Just awesome.  And you think it’s farfetched that this team wants to win it for him?  Really?  You don’t think they love this guy?  He screwed up and he’s paid the price.  I believe the story I read over the summer that it’s never even been mentioned in the Wing room.  But they all know the demons this bastard’s been dealing with. You better believe a few of them know what a bitch Steve Moore was before he became North America’s martyr.  Bertuzzi avenged his teammate, but his emotions got the best of him.  You think Kris Draper doesn’t respect what he did?  Think about the circumstances and what led to that “attack” before you answer.  I’m betting his teammates love that born-again bonecrusher.  Yeah, there’s motivation to win it for him I’m betting.

I guess you remember when Pavel Datsyuk was considered a playoff disappearing act?  It was the troll’s refrain back in ‘08.  No, actually, “how’s unemployment treating you?” was the real refrain.  Datsyuk’s alleged playoff weaknesses were a close second.  Anyone want to discuss that now?  8 frigging shots through two, a mucker’s goal and more moves than Darren Garcia in lockdown.  With 15 to go, he’s my early leader for Conn Smythe.  How close did it all come to just ending last night with that skate blade just barely missing his throat?
 
Yes, there is a switch.  And we hate it, but they damn sure know when to turn it on.  Would it be better if they soared through December and January, tore it up from February through March then entered the playoffs on a ferocious tear?  I guess.  But we’ve seen that before.  Like in ‘96.  Like we said yesterday, a three seed accompanied by a quiet confidence is just as good. 

This Phoenix team had no business on the same ice as the Wings last April, but Detroit had nothing left in the tank.  The whole deal last year was just too much.  Too many injuries to overcome.  Too much emphasis on just getting in the playoffs much less succeeding once we got there.  Uncle Mike promised us today that staying out of the box will be a focus and I believe him.  The 2nd and 3rd periods, after the penalty parades, Detroit controlled that game as only our Wings can.  Phoenix has two threats and one was exposed last night.  Ten goals in two games.  Over. Rated.  And the other is a circus freak. 

Screw Shane Doan.  Let him run around and make his idiotic faces from the bench after yet another foiled opportunity.  Detroit’s dealt with him for twenty years when his name was Pronger or Lindros. He was Derian Hatcher or big tough Gary Roberts.  Maybe he was Mike Keane or even little prancing Paul Kariya.  Whatever.  Individuals have never been able to beat this team.  Ever.  It doesn’t happen.  The tough guys run themselves ragged. The princesses like Thid get rattled by the likes of #40.  Shane Doan can not beat this team by himself and he’s all they got.

Was that a sniper’s goal from the midget backbiting pimp?  Oh. Yes it was.  And, by golly, the glory that would accompany a little hot streak from our Oompa Loompa.  And, say fellows, was that a Franzen playoff goal?  Why, yes.  Yes it was.  And didn’t we need that.  Oh my hadn’t we fretted over that.  No need.  And you know the best part?  Guess who’s name wasn’t mentioned a single time by Stevie’s best pal Darren Pang last night?  Not once did we hear the words “Henrik Zetterberg.”  I’m serious. They didn’t even say his name. No mention that he was out.  Nada.  You may consider that to be downright inept, and you’re right.  But it’s a good sign when the league’s second-best all around player (and you know who the best is) rests his knee and his absence isn’t even noticed.

Rest Hank.  Rest him I say.  Rest him Saturday and whatever day the troll commish tells us we’re allowed to play after that.  No hyperbaric chamber necessary, thanks.  Just rest until Round 2, Game 1.

15 to 12 bitches. Only 1 down, but it was a damn good one

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Comments

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MsRedWingFan's avatar

OLN commentators, plus the ESPN anchor talking to Barry Melrose today, all said Detroit was “flat” the first period.  Really? I didn’t see it that way. It took them a while to get any sustained pressure, but the Wing PK was amazing and so was Howard.  And when we weren’t shorthanded it looked to me like the legs were moving.  But I do admit this:  nothing got them going like the frigging serial killer.  Holy Hell.  We’ve got ourselves a new hometown hero and tell me that last night didn’t cement the big psycho’s love for our town.  He may never leave.

“Todd Ber-Tu-zzi” again and again.  Just awesome.And you think it’s farfetched that this team wants to win it for him?  Really?  You don’t think they love this guy?  He screwed up and he’s paid the price.  I believe the story I read over the summer that it’s never even been mentioned in the Wing room.  But they all know the demons this bastard’s been dealing with. You better believe a few of them know what a bitch Steve Moore was before he became North America’s martyr.  Bertuzzi avenged his teammate, but his emotions got the best of him.  You think Kris Draper doesn’t respect what he did?  Think about the circumstances and what led to that “attack” before you answer.  I’m betting his teammates love that born-again bonecrusher.  Yeah, there’s motivation to win it for him I’m betting.

I loved hearing that ...  Win it for Bert !!!!! 

another great thread Chief

Posted by MsRedWingFan from West Michigan hometown of Abdelkader on 04/14/11 at 07:06 PM ET

RedMenace's avatar

Oh wow, just saw this:

http://jalopnik.com/#!5792198/amazing-video-of-a-fighter-jet-bursting-into-flames-landing-on-aircraft-carrier

On the—dun dun DUN—USS Carl Vinson.

Here’s hoping everyone’s okay, Chief.

Posted by RedMenace from the Church of Jesus Lashoff on 04/14/11 at 07:37 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Oh wow, just saw this:
http://jalopnik.com/#!5792198/amazing-video-of-a-fighter-jet-bursting-into-flames-landing-on-aircraft-carrier
On the—dun dun DUN—USS Carl Vinson.
Here’s hoping everyone’s okay, Chief.
Posted by RedMenace from the Hasek on 04/14/11 at 05:37 PM ET

Based on what I saw when I clicked on the link Red… everything looks just fine. cheese

Posted by calquake on 04/14/11 at 07:45 PM ET

RedMenace's avatar

Based on what I saw when I clicked on the link Red… everything looks just fine. cheese

Posted by calquake on 04/14/11 at 05:45 PM ET

Wat is this, I don’t even… stupid new Jalopnik layout.  Apparently can’t link directly to articles.  Let’s try again.

http://ca.jalopnik.com/5792198/amazing-video-of-a-fighter-jet-bursting-into-flames-landing-on-aircraft-carrier

Posted by RedMenace from the Church of Jesus Lashoff on 04/14/11 at 07:56 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Wat is this, I don’t even… stupid new Jalopnik layout.  Apparently can’t link directly to articles.  Let’s try again.
http://ca.jalopnik.com/5792198/amazing-video-of-a-fighter-jet-bursting-into-flames-landing-on-aircraft-carrier
Posted by RedMenace from the Hasek on 04/14/11 at 05:56 PM

The site redesign at jalopnik (actually all the gawker sites) was a disaster. Aparently, I’m not the only one who quit going to gawker; I read on ttac that their traffic dropped 75%.

I looked up the Carl Vinson video without giving gawker any clicks

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=06zbOZIdNFI

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/14/11 at 08:12 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Win it for Bert!  Love it.  Looks like our favorite Serial Killer has found a home.  The most hated villain of them all has got his groove back and is starting to pick it up physically and tatoo opposing players’ skulls at just the right time.

I said that we’d watch him dominate in the playoffs and score the cup winning goal, like Mac.

Osrt, man you know what that would do to all the self-righteous redolent pricks in Denver.  Just imagine that crazy SOB skating around with the Stanley Cup with that insane toothless grin wearing the winged wheel.  Hell, never mind Denver, just when you think the rest of the league couldn’t possibly hate this team any more than they already do, that shit would make heads explode!!!  God, I hope you’re some mad ass visionary prophet on this one!!!

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 04/14/11 at 08:42 PM ET

Forlorn in VA's avatar

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Warm and sunny SoCal on 04/14/11 at 04:23 PM ET

Thanks smile

Posted by Forlorn in VA on 04/14/11 at 08:43 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

FUCHABUNCHASHIT

Hank out till game 6 (if necessary) at the soonest.

The earliest the team believes Zetterberg can return is Game 6 on April 24. Ideally, the Red Wings hope they can win the series without him and have him ready for the start of the next round.

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 04/14/11 at 08:47 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

From the previous thread…

I wonder if West Wing David woke up with a headache?  I wonder if he’s even awake yet, it’s only 8:30 Specific Time.

In his job I wonder if he can write off drinking as a legitimate business expense.  He has to know the products!

Buying, and drinking, beer and deducting the cost.

Posted by RWBill from Imported from Detroit, Land of Todd-Ber-Tuz-zi! on 04/14/11 at 11:43 AM ET


RWBill, FYI I was up at 0800 and at my desk within an hour of that.  It’s playoff time and I’m a gamer.  Always easier the day after a win than a loss though

As for what I can and can’t write off, without revealing too much, let’s just say with a nod and a wink that I’ve received some excellent accounting advice over the years, and it seems that a shocking amount of my “product evaluation” passes muster with the IRS as totally legit. 

As I like to remind my bosses, what the rest of you fondly refer to as “getting drunk” is actually research in my world, and I’m a very thorough professional.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 04/14/11 at 08:51 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

The earliest the team believes Zetterberg can return is Game 6 on April 24.

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 04/14/11 at 06:47 PM ET

And there’s the daily dose of anxiety I was missing.  Thanks Jeff.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 04/14/11 at 08:54 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

FUCHABUNCHASHIT
Hank out till game 6 (if necessary) at the soonest.
The earliest the team believes Zetterberg can return is Game 6 on April 24. Ideally, the Red Wings hope they can win the series without him and have him ready for the start of the next round.
Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 04/14/11 at 06:47 PM ET

This is a surprise?  Helene said it was a grade <something> sprain that takes three weeks to heal. Z hurt the knee 1 week ago. He still needs 2 more weeks. Z is gone for this series unless there is a game 7. If the Wings clinch in 4-6 games, you may not even see Z for the first game of round 2.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/14/11 at 08:55 PM ET

calquake's avatar

As I like to remind my bosses, what the rest of you fondly refer to as “getting drunk” is actually research in my world, and I’m a very thorough professional.
Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 04/14/11 at 06:51 PM ET

Well then, I was thoroughly “researched” by the end of the game yesterday. LOL

Posted by calquake on 04/14/11 at 09:18 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

RED.  THEM.  OUT.  How pathetic.

Can you imagine this article existing anywhere else?

Posted by Primis on 04/14/11 at 03:08 PM ET

Make them see RED!  in more ways than one.  cool smile

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 04/14/11 at 09:38 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

Would love to hear an “over rated” cheer at the Joe when (Doan’s on the ice.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Warm and sunny SoCal on 04/14/11 at 04:12 PM ET

O-VER-RA-TED (clap, clap, clap, clap, clap)

Love it.

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 04/14/11 at 09:43 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/14/11 at 10:20 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

We don’t want outsiders thinking we can’t sell out playoff games.

If all the tickets are sold then it’s a sellout no matter who’s buying. The idea is to fill the building. Which, by the way, is the reason the Coyote’s are leaving Phoenix. They can’t fill 1/2 the seats.
As a Wing’s fan in the desert, you are supporting the Coyotes by buying a ticket. Coyote’s fans should thank you for showing up. Period.

I’m a Wing’s fan. I’m gonna wear my Wing’s jersey to any game the Wings play in.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 04/14/11 at 10:31 PM ET

MsRedWingFan's avatar

Osrt, man you know what that would do to all the self-righteous redolent pricks in Denver.  Just imagine that crazy SOB skating around with the Stanley Cup with that insane toothless grin wearing the winged wheel.  Hell, never mind Denver, just when you think the rest of the league couldn’t possibly hate this team any more than they already do, that shit would make heads explode!!!  God, I hope you’re some mad ass visionary prophet on this one!!!

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 04/14/11 at 06:42 PM ET

cheese

Posted by MsRedWingFan from West Michigan hometown of Abdelkader on 04/14/11 at 11:24 PM ET

Avatar

I gotta tell you guys, I walked to work this morning in my Lidstrom jersey just south of DC.  I was flicked off twice, and everyone at my job decided to preach Capitals hockey to me.  I was forced to kindly remind them of 2 straight first round exits vs. 20 straight years of playoffs and 4 Cups.  The kids here in DC seem to think that Stanley’s going to pay them a visit this year.  I have to tell them all to learn a little more about hockey and talk to me.  Most of these cats didn’t even know what a 2-line pass was.  I only saw one Wings fan today, and there was much rejoicing,  Anyway, if there are any members of the 19 in the DC area, I’d love to meet up for one of the games this playoff season to drink ‘soda pop’ and make diamonds.  Anyone game?

Posted by RedWingInDC from Somewhere near Ovie's Taint on 04/14/11 at 11:27 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

from TMR

It’s a tradition ... and it is all ours!

L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/15/11 at 12:40 AM ET

RedMenace's avatar

The site redesign at jalopnik (actually all the gawker sites) was a disaster. Aparently, I’m not the only one who quit going to gawker; I read on ttac that their traffic dropped 75%.

I looked up the Carl Vinson video without giving gawker any clicks

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=06zbOZIdNFI

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Warm and sunny SoCal on 04/14/11 at 06:12 PM ET

I still visit Jalopnik daily, and while their redesign is horrible, people give up too easily these days—just switch to “Blog View.”

There’s one joker at TTAC that I just can’t stand.  I’m sure you know who he is.

Posted by RedMenace from the Church of Jesus Lashoff on 04/15/11 at 01:14 AM ET

Avatar

We will be fine without Hank until round 2.  He will be our free agent pickup for the next round.
Caps wiil not make it past round 2.
Bert touring with the Cup in Denver would be awesome.

Posted by Jeff from CO. on 04/15/11 at 02:43 AM ET

AndrewFromAnnArbor's avatar

Ahoy Sailor.

GREAT write-up about Unabomber.  Vilify him all you want, but don’t be a hypocrite and pretend what he did was any more monstrous that half the bullcrap that the League’s let go on for years, only with different consequences.  And furthermore, too many people forget that when Moore was on the ice, he was a player that fully had the capacity and inclination to do to others what Bert did to him.  For years I was infuriated when I heard some Denver mouth-breather refer to Drapes as ‘Picasso.’  Well then Moore can be ‘Brokeback.’  And he can watch with the rest of those sobbing Dive apologists in June as the redeemed Todd Bertuzzi skates Lord Stanley around the ice.

I’ll bring back a line we used in last year’s Round 1: Don’t be a Doan.

Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 04/15/11 at 11:45 AM ET

SYF's avatar

And furthermore, too many people forget that when Moore was on the ice, he was a player that fully had the capacity and inclination to do to others what Bert did to him.  For years I was infuriated when I heard some Denver mouth-breather refer to Drapes as ‘Picasso.’  Well then Moore can be ‘Brokeback.’  And he can watch with the rest of those sobbing Dive apologists in June as the redeemed Todd Bertuzzi skates Lord Stanley around the ice.

I’ll bring back a line we used in last year’s Round 1: Don’t be a Doan.

Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 04/15/11 at 09:45 AM ET

Awesome, Andrew.  Your post reminded me of this:

Let this be a reminder of what a lousy sack of shit Steve Moore was before his laughable “martyrdom” induced by a crying fanbase full of selective memories.

Posted by SYF from Zata's Epic Viking Beard on 04/15/11 at 05:06 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com