Abel to Yzerman
by IwoCPO on 04/14/11 at 02:40 PM ET
“Bryzgalov is probably the best player in this series”
Shane, a nifty gift of a ditty bit of advice before this gets any uglier: STFU.
That “best player in this series”? Yeah, he’s given up ten goals over the last two games against Detroit that meant a damn thing. Bury this mystique please. Dig a hole, toss it in, piss on it and bury it for good. I’ve read a few comments today, saying he’s not going to be giving up those goals too often, that Bryzgalov is something we should fear, a menace. And that’s based on what, exactly? The guy had a chance at history in his own backyard last year and he gave up a touchdown. Two straight garbage outings and we’re still scared? I fear the playoffs and all that they bring with them. But guess what? He’s no better than any other goalie still playing hockey right now. And that includes ours.
Here’s a few observations from last evening:
How creative. Both Keith Jones and Jeremy “Douche Dinghy” Roenick picked the Coyotes last night. Shocking. Both of those tools made a career of losing to the Wings in a variety of different uniforms. What exactly did they base those predictions on? Gut feelings, I suppose. Bitterness and bad memories, plus a whole shitload of hope is more like it.
OLN commentators, plus the ESPN anchor talking to Barry Melrose today, all said Detroit was “flat” the first period. Really? I didn’t see it that way. It took them a while to get any sustained pressure, but the Wing PK was amazing and so was Howard. And when we weren’t shorthanded it looked to me like the legs were moving. But I do admit this: nothing got them going like the frigging serial killer. Holy Hell. We’ve got ourselves a new hometown hero and tell me that last night didn’t cement the big psycho’s love for our town. He may never leave.
“Todd Ber-Tu-zzi” again and again. Just awesome. And you think it’s farfetched that this team wants to win it for him? Really? You don’t think they love this guy? He screwed up and he’s paid the price. I believe the story I read over the summer that it’s never even been mentioned in the Wing room. But they all know the demons this bastard’s been dealing with. You better believe a few of them know what a bitch Steve Moore was before he became North America’s martyr. Bertuzzi avenged his teammate, but his emotions got the best of him. You think Kris Draper doesn’t respect what he did? Think about the circumstances and what led to that “attack” before you answer. I’m betting his teammates love that born-again bonecrusher. Yeah, there’s motivation to win it for him I’m betting.
I guess you remember when Pavel Datsyuk was considered a playoff disappearing act? It was the troll’s refrain back in ‘08. No, actually, “how’s unemployment treating you?” was the real refrain. Datsyuk’s alleged playoff weaknesses were a close second. Anyone want to discuss that now? 8 frigging shots through two, a mucker’s goal and more moves than Darren Garcia in lockdown. With 15 to go, he’s my early leader for Conn Smythe. How close did it all come to just ending last night with that skate blade just barely missing his throat?
Yes, there is a switch. And we hate it, but they damn sure know when to turn it on. Would it be better if they soared through December and January, tore it up from February through March then entered the playoffs on a ferocious tear? I guess. But we’ve seen that before. Like in ‘96. Like we said yesterday, a three seed accompanied by a quiet confidence is just as good.
This Phoenix team had no business on the same ice as the Wings last April, but Detroit had nothing left in the tank. The whole deal last year was just too much. Too many injuries to overcome. Too much emphasis on just getting in the playoffs much less succeeding once we got there. Uncle Mike promised us today that staying out of the box will be a focus and I believe him. The 2nd and 3rd periods, after the penalty parades, Detroit controlled that game as only our Wings can. Phoenix has two threats and one was exposed last night. Ten goals in two games. Over. Rated. And the other is a circus freak.
Screw Shane Doan. Let him run around and make his idiotic faces from the bench after yet another foiled opportunity. Detroit’s dealt with him for twenty years when his name was Pronger or Lindros. He was Derian Hatcher or big tough Gary Roberts. Maybe he was Mike Keane or even little prancing Paul Kariya. Whatever. Individuals have never been able to beat this team. Ever. It doesn’t happen. The tough guys run themselves ragged. The princesses like Thid get rattled by the likes of #40. Shane Doan can not beat this team by himself and he’s all they got.
Was that a sniper’s goal from the midget backbiting pimp? Oh. Yes it was. And, by golly, the glory that would accompany a little hot streak from our Oompa Loompa. And, say fellows, was that a Franzen playoff goal? Why, yes. Yes it was. And didn’t we need that. Oh my hadn’t we fretted over that. No need. And you know the best part? Guess who’s name wasn’t mentioned a single time by Stevie’s best pal Darren Pang last night? Not once did we hear the words “Henrik Zetterberg.” I’m serious. They didn’t even say his name. No mention that he was out. Nada. You may consider that to be downright inept, and you’re right. But it’s a good sign when the league’s second-best all around player (and you know who the best is) rests his knee and his absence isn’t even noticed.
Rest Hank. Rest him I say. Rest him Saturday and whatever day the troll commish tells us we’re allowed to play after that. No hyperbaric chamber necessary, thanks. Just rest until Round 2, Game 1.
15 to 12 bitches. Only 1 down, but it was a damn good one
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Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977. No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y. Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation. There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature. Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: firstname.lastname@example.org