Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Ready. Set. Vomit.

Back in 2007, so long ago that I can't even find the links to those posts, the Wings were on the verge of horrific defeat to Anaheim.  

The game before, a puck stayed in the air.  It floated and weaved like a Chuck Long 7 yard out. All over the place. No direction.  But momentum took it, carried it until Lucifer gave it a final push with some hot evil breath and sent it over our Czech Miracle of Insanity's shoulder.  That game, that moment, is etched in Stress Train history, along with 34.7, Max Talbot, deficits to garbage teams like St. Louis and Phoenix, extra men on the ice, stolen goals, Al MacInnis and Jamie Langenbrunner, Deadmarsh, Yzerman hitting the crossbar, and big Swedish asses.

That goal that beat Hasek sealed the series for Anaheim in 2007.  It didn't settle the series. It sealed it.  The next game the Wings were down three goals after two periods.

But something weird happened before the final horn in that shithole Honda Center.  In the third, Pavel Datsyuk and Hank Zetterberg were born.  They dominated that period.  Datsyuk scored to cut it to 2.  Pahlssen made it 3 again, and then Datsyuk...again.  With three minutes left, down by 2, Zetterberg beat Giguere and not one of us didn't think that series was ours.  

Of course it wasn't.  180 frantic seconds and about 19 different dead pets later, it was done.  

Datsyuk and Zetterberg, though.  What they did in that third period.  They owned it, much like they did the final week of this regular season.  They absolutely owned it.

They are the keys and there can be no doubt about that.  As they go, so goes your happiness.  Yes, we need Franzen and Filppula. We need the young D. We need you, Jimmah.  But it's 13 and 40.  This is their series. It's their run.  And it could be their legacy if the impossible were to occur.  

It's ok to hate, you know.  It's ok to despise Corey Perry, the original little bitch well before Rosby.  It's ok to hate Ryan Getzlaf, who is already playing the fat, balding martyr.

“Have you listened to the media the last couple of days?” Ducks forward and captain Ryan Getzlaf told the L.A. Times.

 

“We are not the favorite, trust me. It’s the same story as the whole season. We’re prepared for that.”

Oh, the poor victim.  The two-seeded underdog.  STFU.  Seriously, that's NBA talk.  Hockey players don't say stupid shit like that.  They don't whine about "disrespect" and singular belief found only in their room where getting between the coach and his Hot Pockets is suicide.  

Yes, the coach.  There is no doubt in my mind that by Game 3, he will be the number one subject of our scorn.  

But forget the chubby whiner for a minute and focus on ours.  Our coach that is, not our chubby.  Aside from Zetterberg and Datsyuk, our Uncle Mike might be the most vital cog in this mini-success story.  Two veteran defensemen have sat forever. I can't remember the last time Ian White played and I dig that.  Carlo whateverthefuck his name is will never, barring injury, see Red Wing ice again.  He never should have in the first place, but that's borderline Holland bashing and we're not doing that. Yet.  Babcock turned the blue line keys over to youth and he's been rewarded.  He's guided this team minus Helm, minus a Serial Killer, minus a veteran Swede who you'd think would be somewhat critical but is purely an afterthought.

He will outcoach that fat beaver Boudreau.  Datsyuk and Zetterberg will outplay Katie Perry and Getzlaf.  But there are mysteries to be unraveled past those facts, past the obvious.  Anaheim has a Swiss kid and a stout defense, allegedly.  The Wings have inexperience, amazingly, and a third line that has given us tentative hope.  Selanne is a concern, but it's ok to hate his ass too.  

Your expectations have been low all year.  All season long we've tempered our arrogance to prevent an emotional crash at precisely this date on the calendar.  But I'm advocating Swagger today.  

Trot it out. Flaunt it.  It's who we are and we've earned it.  But we're doing it differently, because if you think this is stressful? It's nothing compared to what awaits in about ten days, maybe two weeks.

Yes, 16 is the thing.  12 is the ultimate goal.

But for now, it's just 4.  4 to Round 2.  4 to the matchup that just might define our two legends.

4 to the Hawks, bitches.  Because you know the Ingalls sisters aren't long for this, or any, playoff run.

4 to the Hawks.  One at a time.  Drinking now, and I mean right now, is absolutely authorized.

See you for the Live Blog and god help us all. 

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Comments

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RWBill's avatar

I refuse to watch anything from that Game 5.  A few seconds before Dats was called for the lamest hooking call ever for a tap on the hip, the Wings were on a PP and got absolutely corkscrewed to the ice so they couldn’t get off a shot and take a 2 goal lead.  A blatant penalty.  Yet a slight tap on the hip by Detroit gets a penalty, puts the Ducks a man and probably a pulled goalie up, when they tie the game and win in OT.  It was an outrageous and brazen gift to Anaheim .

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 04/30/13 at 02:05 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Ready to go, Master Chief.  Lead the way, Sir, and we’ll follow.  Just bought two six-packs of Guinness Draughts and a 12-pack of San Miguel Cerveza Negra on standby.

LGRW.

Posted by SYF from Zata's Epic Viking Beard on 04/30/13 at 02:17 PM ET

jeweler's avatar

My wife and I were moving into our house during the 2007 series against the ducks and I had to listen to game 5 on the radio because we had no cable yet.To this day, I have never seen any highlights.

I have since felt that the game 7 winin 2009 was simply payback for being bounced in the first round in 2003, we still owe those clowns for 2007.

MAKE IT HAPPEN BOYS!!!

Posted by jeweler from Grand Rapids, Michigan on 04/30/13 at 02:26 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 04/30/13 at 11:14 AM ET

Amazing, MO.  Slainte to a successful hunt.

Posted by SYF from Zata's Epic Viking Beard on 04/30/13 at 02:27 PM ET

Primis's avatar

2007 Game 5 was very unfortunate for me personally.  My wife scored us tickets to that game (really, really good seats too in the lower bowl, center ice, I don’t wanna’ think how much those cost.  We had a blast making fun of Lang with the guys in front of us) and I had not been to the Joe for a live game in about 20 years.  Then, we got that turd of an ending.  It was bad enough that later on my wife felt obligated to get playoff tix to Game 2 vs CBS to wash the bad taste out (it only partially did) and I so I wasn’t afraid to ever step foot in the Joe again.

While DET in 6 is a bit of a trendy pick, I’m a bit taken aback at how little interest there actually is in the series otherwise.  Reading up on the playoffs everywhere, and there’s little-to-no mention, save for the lone story on each series that certain national media are obligated to write.  I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.

It’s really weird to be this far off the radar though.

Posted by Primis on 04/30/13 at 03:14 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from Where the GM likes his team. on 04/30/13 at 03:18 PM ET

jeweler's avatar

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from Where free agents no longer want to go. on 04/30/13 at 03:18 PM ET


BWAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAAAHAAA!!!!!

Posted by jeweler from Grand Rapids, Michigan on 04/30/13 at 03:20 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Great one, WFIBL.  And if you can tolerate Harlem Shake for another 45 seconds, someone made a YouTube vid of that Getzlaf and Perry tantrum.

Posted by SYF from Zata's Epic Viking Beard on 04/30/13 at 03:28 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

I can’t take credit for it.  I was pointed to where it was hosted is all.

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from Where the GM likes his team. on 04/30/13 at 03:31 PM ET

RedMenace's avatar

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from Where free agents no longer want to go. on 04/30/13 at 03:18 PM ET

They’re good players, to be sure, but $16m worth of temper tantrums for the next 8 years? I’d rather see what the the I-96 pipeline brings in the coming seasons.

Hey, I hear those Nyquist and Tatar kids might be worth a look some day.

Game 1. Just.

 

Posted by RedMenace from the Church of Jesus Lashoff on 04/30/13 at 03:33 PM ET

jeweler's avatar

Posted by Primis on 04/30/13 at 03:14 PM E

I have never had the privilage of going to a Red Wing playoff game, I have been to 5 regular season games, all losses. I have seen every manner of loss there is, shootout, OT, regulation loss, blowout (to the friggin’  blue jackets)

I guess I am the official gamewrecker, although they do manage to win a lot when I watch them on television.

Just once before I die, I want to sing along with the crowd when ‘Don’t stop believing’ gets played at the Joe. I know I can do it at home, but that isn’t the same as getting to do it at a game.

Posted by jeweler from Grand Rapids, Michigan on 04/30/13 at 03:37 PM ET

klank's avatar

looking at tonight’t tilts, both start @  8 pm; with Wings starting @ 10:30 pm.  ima getting worried Wings may be delayed on NBCSN. 

Strader is calling the LA/STL series…  bummer.

Posted by klank from the finest hot tub in Marin on 04/30/13 at 04:16 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 04/30/13 at 11:14 AM ET

Yummy! Tastes like chicken.
                                  tongue wink

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 04/30/13 at 04:26 PM ET

peiz11's avatar

Thank god I am leaving work, I’m amazed I lasted as long as I did in the office. Next few hours are going to be just awful. Maybe watching the Wild get dismantled will help calm my nerves.

Posted by peiz11 from Minneapolis on 04/30/13 at 05:21 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Hands on the clock seem to be turning backwards. The day is dragging on. And on. And on.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/30/13 at 06:20 PM ET

RorSchach's avatar

While I have never been to a game at the Joe.. I have seen the boys in action against the Hurristains. Several times actually.

Including a playoff game against them. Which was a win. Lets face it, every Game I have seen from the boys, live.. they have won. smile

And that Gif.. Perry looks like he might actually be good at swinging a bat. Perhaps the LAA could use his help in the next couple weeks, after the series is over.

Posted by RorSchach from Datsberg on 04/30/13 at 06:21 PM ET

PaulinMiamiBeach's avatar

trying to figure out what I should eat for dinner.  anybody have any suggestion for things that taste OK when they’re coming back up?

ugh.

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 04/30/13 at 06:37 PM ET

Red Winger's avatar

Boudreau’s downfall in Washington was that he could not adjust during a playoff series and could not come up with answers when his team was being beaten. 

Posted by hockeychic from Denver, CO on 04/30/13 at 01:11 PM ET

Very good point. Let’s hope he has learned nothing from that experience.

Playoffs. Wings out West. Sick day tomorrow so I can stay up and watch it all.

All aboard!

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 04/30/13 at 06:37 PM ET

Primis's avatar

I think the 19 are the only hockey fans I know that stare at the clocks all day.  Seriously.  Maybe that’s why the other fanbases don’t get it.  To them it’s something that starts at puck drop.  To people here, it starts long before that.

I mean, we know Hawk fans don’t do the same because they can’t read clocks anyways.  But…

Posted by Primis on 04/30/13 at 06:37 PM ET

Red Winger's avatar

trying to figure out what I should eat for dinner.  anybody have any suggestion for things that taste OK when they’re coming back up?

ugh.

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 04/30/13 at 06:37 PM ET

Do you like Duh-Uck?

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 04/30/13 at 06:38 PM ET

Primis's avatar

Boudreau’s downfall in Washington was that he could not adjust during a playoff series and could not come up with answers when his team was being beaten.

Posted by hockeychic from Denver, CO on 04/30/13 at 01:11 PM ET

From what I remember of those idyllic times, that’s the major reason why he got canned in the IHL with Fort Wayne as well.  When Plan A wouldn’t work, there was no Plan B with him and he wouldn’t/couldn’t adjust his gameplans around his players.

Posted by Primis on 04/30/13 at 06:40 PM ET

klank's avatar

Hands on the clock seem to be turning backwards

Cap’n… suggest taking that clock down, and move to a digital clock.  forward ahoy!

Posted by klank from the finest hot tub in Marin on 04/30/13 at 06:42 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

trying to figure out what I should eat for dinner.  anybody have any suggestion for things that taste OK when they’re coming back up?

ugh.

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 04/30/13 at 06:37 PM ET

Oatmeal, bananas, yogurt. Coca-cola.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 04/30/13 at 06:51 PM ET

Avatar

Wow, it’s kind of freaky to compare the 07 team and this one.

Chelios, Lidstrom, Holmstrom, Lang, Draper…now it’s Kindl, Smith, DeKeyser, Nyquist, Andersson…

Posted by CrimsonPhoenix on 04/30/13 at 06:53 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

I think the 19 are the only hockey fans I know that stare at the clocks all day.  Seriously.

Seriously. And that’s during the regular season. We are seriously disturbed.

Fan-addicts. Wingaholics as it were.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 04/30/13 at 06:55 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

I think the 19 are the only hockey fans I know that stare at the clocks all day.  Seriously. 

Posted by Primis on 04/30/13 at 06:37 PM ET

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNikiXccu6Y

Consider it Jeff-style pre-game (rather than intermission) entertainment.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/30/13 at 06:56 PM ET

FranzensMouthguard's avatar

hey all, NHL and NBC *#$%@& the Wings already if your not in MI.

Hawks-Wild, NBCSN 8 PM
Wings-Ducks NBCSN 1030 PM

See the issue? No way in hell they are going to dump the 3rd of the hawks for the 1st period of the wings, I THOUGHT THIS WASN’T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN ANYMORE

Posted by FranzensMouthguard from Chicago, IL on 04/30/13 at 07:00 PM ET

Primis's avatar

I also dig that we can get 700 comments here for the LB (over 1k in the later rounds), and this is hardly the only high-traffic Wings blog that does is own LB’s…

Posted by Primis on 04/30/13 at 07:02 PM ET

MOWingsfan19's avatar

Beer. Its what’s for dinner.
And it comes back up without leaving chunks in the nostrils.

Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 04/30/13 at 07:05 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

I am so elated to be in the post season! Just befuchingcause.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 04/30/13 at 07:10 PM ET

pgoody's avatar

With this .gif maker I may have no more time for porn on the Gore…

Posted by pgoody on 04/30/13 at 07:11 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Longest day in ages.  Last freaking year for west coast playoffs; well except for SCF games.

See you bitches later.  If I’m still alive then.

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 04/30/13 at 07:15 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

I also dig that we can get 700 comments here for the LB (over 1k in the later rounds), and this is hardly the only high-traffic, low-brow, juvenilicious Wings blog that does is own LB’s…
Posted by Primis on 04/30/13 at 07:02 PM ET

Fixt.

Unfortunately, no LB for me tonight. Hosting a dinner party for ten. Though the game will be on in the background. And no LB Thursday, because I’ll be there cheering on the boys.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/30/13 at 07:19 PM ET

pgoody's avatar

Posted by pgoody on 04/30/13 at 07:19 PM ET

Red Winger's avatar

The Chief just gave us a new box to sh** in…the LB is up

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 04/30/13 at 07:23 PM ET

dougie's avatar

I managed to stay distracted today, for the most part. Won’t bore you with the details.

Distractions are good this time of year. I am always on the lookout for the latest “bright, shiny object” when the playoffs start.

Hell, I even managed to sustain my end of a conversation aboot a kitchen remodel for a good 45 minutes. Maybe my wife and I can talk aboot earrings later, as game time approaches.

Posted by dougie on 04/30/13 at 07:23 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

pgoody, my favorite Wings moment ever.  Little gnat, punk Kane.

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 04/30/13 at 07:47 PM ET

redxblack's avatar

Those bagmunchers at NBC sports are requiring a login in order to stream the games from their website.

Imagine NFL playoff games not accessible to the general public. Heads should roll.

Maybe the euro feeds will work. dammit.

Posted by redxblack from Akron Ohio on 04/30/13 at 08:02 PM ET

PaulinMiamiBeach's avatar

well would you look at that.

1-0 Minnesota

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 04/30/13 at 08:19 PM ET

PaulinMiamiBeach's avatar

and then a phantom penalty call on Minnesota.  whodathunkit?!

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 04/30/13 at 08:22 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com