Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Ready. Set. Vomit…Again

No one understands it. There is not a hockey fan reading this blog right now who can possibly grasp what Wing fans are going through, unless they're Wing fans themselves.

No one else. Not in Montreal or Pittsburgh. Not in Boston or Chicago. Certainly not in Denver and definitely not in St. Louis.

None of them can possibly fathom the rumbly in the tumblies of Wing fans because we've been weened on excellence.  The rest of them have hopes. We have expectations. In St. Louis, they have wishes that they know, for a fact, will definitely be dashed. Today, Wing fans can claim we'd be happy to be competitive.  But, in the backs of our minds, because we know the taste of it, we're thinking about a parade.

No group of fans, other than us, understand the horrific stress that accompanies sustained success. 

"Underdog" means nothing.  In public places, with other fans who don't understand what we know to be true, we'll say it's actually kind of nifty..this position our team is in, the "underdogs". We'll say we revel in it, that it's unique and kind of fun.

But that's bullshit.  Nobody but Wing fans read below the click so I can say that now. In private. The Detroit Red Wings are never "underdogs". Ever. Ken Holland is not a wunderkind. He is the fuching gold standard.  Mike Babcock is not the fresh-faced Jon Cooper winning people over with his youth and enthusiasm, his grounded approach, his "player-friendly" techniques.  Mike Babcock is the best coach in professional sports. Not just hockey. All of sports. Tell me someone who's better.

The Winged Wheel is not an "underdog". The Winged Wheel is the favorite. Always. Because that's what this organ-I-zation has built.

Pavel Datsyuk is not an "underdog". He is the best two-way player in hockey. Niklas Kronwall is not an "underdog". He is a missile.

I'd bet the chatter is getting tiresome.  I'll bet you the Wings are tired of hearing what a surprise this would be if they beat big, bad Boston. And I'm betting the chips on their shoulders are getting bigger.  Edmonton in '06 was an underdog. They were mediocre. But they had a system and they employed it at just the right time. Mike Babcock was a different man back then, a different coach.

The Babcock of '06 is not the Babcock of '14 and the Detroit Red Wings are not Hickory, Indiana.  We don't need a gimp to sink two free throws in the regional finals to miraculously propel us to the state championship against a bigger, stronger, heavily favored South Bend squad.

Detroit is South Bend. 

And because of all that, the playoffs are harder on us than anyone else.  With high expectations, built through years of brilliance, comes a greater possibility of high-velocity expulsion of multiple bodily fluids. Simultaneously.

"Underdogs"? Negative.  A "tough out"? The toughest out.

This is not the Live Blog. It's a reminder.  It's a reminder that you'll be nervous today and that's ok.  You're sick already and I get it.  Just don't forget the reason why the playoffs suck and suck hard: because  your expectations are higher than anyone else's.  Anyone's. 

"Underdogs"? We'll see about that.  All it takes is one win out of the first two and we'll see how many pharmacists are talking "underdogs" and instead shift to, "the same old Wings."

Ready. Set. Vomit. Nobody knows the trouble you'll see, because no one else follows a team who's earned the right to give you this kind of stress.

God help us all.

Filed in: | Abel to Yzerman | Permalink
 

Comments

 1 2 >       Next »

dougie's avatar

Upping the ante for pregame sacrifice. I am crucifying an employee (actually just firing one, but if the mixed metaphor works, go with it) at 6PM tonight.

Posted by dougie on 04/18/14 at 11:18 AM ET

bigdee89's avatar

Amen brother.  LGRW

Posted by bigdee89 from The Great White North Eh? on 04/18/14 at 11:28 AM ET

Rdwings28's avatar

31 minutes from now, I start drinking

Posted by Rdwings28 on 04/18/14 at 11:31 AM ET

hockeychic's avatar

RSV.  All aboard the stress train.  My stomach is already in knots.

Let’s do this thing.

LGRW!

Posted by hockeychic from Denver, CO on 04/18/14 at 11:39 AM ET

bezukov's avatar

All aboard the stress train.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 04/18/14 at 11:59 AM ET

Surfer Ken's avatar

How I love the smell of anxiety in the morning.

Posted by Surfer Ken from San Clemente on 04/18/14 at 12:04 PM ET

Primis's avatar

What time is it, guys?

It’s 16 to 12.

Posted by Primis on 04/18/14 at 12:09 PM ET

HockeytownOverhaul's avatar

Got my shine in my Wings mug standing in my garage giving the stink eye to every buckeye fan that drives past.  Does jobu take OSU fans?

Posted by HockeytownOverhaul on 04/18/14 at 12:12 PM ET

Primis's avatar

Got my shine in my Wings mug standing in my garage giving the stink eye to every buckeye fan that drives past.  Does jobu take OSU fans?

Posted by HockeytownOverhaul on 04/18/14 at 12:12 PM ET

That’s not so much a sacrifice as “spring cleaning”...

Posted by Primis on 04/18/14 at 12:21 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

How I love the smell of anxiety in the morning.
Posted by Surfer Ken from San Clemente on 04/18/14 at 12:04 PM ET

Smells like…

The Hasek.

 photo stresstrain.jpg

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/18/14 at 12:26 PM ET

The Meal's avatar

Pure truth.

Posted by The Meal on 04/18/14 at 12:43 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

Yep.

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 04/18/14 at 12:45 PM ET

SYF's avatar

It’s true, Chief.  The Organ-I-zation is THE most emulated franchise in pro hockey.  Who the fuch talks about the Cawks when they’re trying to build their franchise?  Piss off.  Sustained excellence over the longest, most admired playoff streak through the free-spending days, two fuched up lockouts, and now in the Midget Shrew’s farcical salary cap era is swagger.

Posted by SYF from the team that re-signed KFQ and DFC by KFH on 04/18/14 at 12:46 PM ET

SYF's avatar

The ever uber-wonderful awood has posted a 23:23 highlights video of the best saves over the past we years.  So many good ones.

Posted by SYF from the team that re-signed KFQ and DFC by KFH on 04/18/14 at 01:04 PM ET

Surfer Ken's avatar

To The Chief and my So. Cal Fake Friends,

Start thinking about when and where we are going to continue our tradition of meeting for a playoff game.  Suggestions please….

Posted by Surfer Ken from San Clemente on 04/18/14 at 01:25 PM ET

FranzensMouthguard's avatar

The Babcock of ‘06 is not the Babcock of ‘14 and the Detroit Red Wings are not Hickory, Indiana.  We don’t need a gimp to sink two free throws in the regional finals to miraculously propel us to the state championship against a bigger, stronger, heavily favored South Bend squad.

Detroit is South Bend.

The greatest thing you’ve ever written.

Posted by FranzensMouthguard from Chicago, IL on 04/18/14 at 01:26 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Ken Holland is not a wunderkind. He is the fuching gold standard.  Mike Babcock is not the fresh-faced Jon Cooper winning people over with his youth and enthusiasm, his grounded approach, his “player-friendly” techniques.  Mike Babcock is the best coach in professional sports. Not just hockey. All of sports. Tell me someone who’s better.

And that’s that.

Posted by calquake on 04/18/14 at 01:31 PM ET

Avatar

And that’s that.

Until the second day of free agency when everyone calls Holland an idiot and wants him fired, or the third game of the season when favorite player x isn’t getting the IT someone wants and they decide Babcock ‘hates kids’.

Hell, people are going to blast Holland and Babcock for being incompetent sometime in Round 1, guaranteed.

Posted by HockeyinHD on 04/18/14 at 01:49 PM ET

NIVO's avatar

wheres the video of Tatar and Gus dancin like Kid n Play in the hallway? Yeaaaaaaaaaa….......im positive they are doin that right now. Chara is the drunk guy who falls down. Am i right?

Posted by NIVO from underpants gnome village on 04/18/14 at 02:01 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

thanks, Chief.

“The Winged Wheel is not an “underdog”. The Winged Wheel is the favorite. Always. Because that’s what this organ-I-zation has built.”

that will surely “Pump ... You Up!”

L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/18/14 at 02:02 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Geezo even Surfer Ken is back!  Yo.

Just because I have a bunch of data accumulated, I’ll throw the perspective of the season out there with this final 10-game moving average graph.  Probably not a lot to glean from it except for that long trench of Suckitude leading to the benching of Daniel Cleary never to be seen again, and occasional resurfacing of Bert, being replaced by phased in applications of Tatar, Nyquist, Sheahan, Glendening, Jurco; and Helm getting healthy; and Danny Dekeyeser filling in for injuries and gaffs by defensemen.

mov avg WINGS Final 14

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with creepy Rob Lowe. on 04/18/14 at 02:06 PM ET

J.J. from Kansas's avatar

Until the second day of free agency when everyone calls Holland an idiot and wants him fired, or the third game of the season when favorite player x isn’t getting the IT someone wants and they decide Babcock ‘hates kids’.

Already looking past the playoffs.  That’s my boy.

Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 04/18/14 at 02:08 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Trivia,
Who scored the Red Wings first goal of the season? 

(this is off the top of my head but I believe correct)
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Mikhail Ilyavitch Gorbachev Samuelsson.

Posted by RWBill from cruising Brush Street with creepy Rob Lowe. on 04/18/14 at 02:13 PM ET

IwoCPO's avatar

Until the second day of free agency when everyone calls Holland an idiot and wants him fired, or the third game of the season when favorite player x isn’t getting the IT someone wants and they decide Babcock ‘hates kids’.

Hell, people are going to blast Holland and Babcock for being incompetent sometime in Round 1, guaranteed.

Exactly.  Attention all: stop being fans because it’s what HD demands from his ivory pharmacist’s tower.

Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 04/18/14 at 02:19 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

Until the second day of free agency when everyone calls Holland an idiot and wants him fired, or the third game of the season when favorite player x isn’t getting the IT someone wants and they decide Babcock ‘hates kids’.

Hell, people are going to blast Holland and Babcock for being incompetent sometime in Round 1, guaranteed.

Posted by HockeyinHD on 04/18/14 at 01:49 PM ET

I assume you don’t have your own blog (presumably because no one would read it), so you come here and wipe your mental boogers on our bathroom wall.  I get it, you need a relatively captive audience for your flatulence, so you come here and abuse us. 

Here’s an idea:

Since you have nothing but contempt for everyone here anyway, why don’t you try getting some sun light (it’s free), a girlfriend or boyfriend, and give your Cheeto dust encrusted keyboard a break until March. 

Maybe while you’re out you’ll learn how to do something besides being a miserable worm.  Everyone else around kk manages to treat everyone with respect most of the time.  Try it.

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 04/18/14 at 02:44 PM ET

cigar_nurse's avatar

U are correct RW. It was Sammy pooping in the box with the 1st goal of the year. 

By the way, Andersson gets the green jacket for the worst plus/minus for the year.

Love how we are the last series to start. Way it should be Bitches. Now bring it on.

Posted by cigar_nurse from Greenville South Cakalakee on 04/18/14 at 02:58 PM ET

LivinLaVidaLockout's avatar

Until the second day of free agency when everyone calls Holland an idiot and wants him fired, or the third game of the season when favorite player x isn’t getting the IT someone wants and they decide Babcock ‘hates kids’.

Demote the Nyquist!!!

Posted by LivinLaVidaLockout on 04/18/14 at 03:24 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

I’ve been able to do exactly jack and shit at work today.  I was somewhat productive though and hung up my vintage Stevie Y poster.

None of my co-workers think it’s as awesome as we all know it is.

LGRW

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from where free agents no longer dare. on 04/18/14 at 03:34 PM ET

gowings's avatar

“Just don’t forget the reason why the playoffs suck and suck hard: because your expectations are higher than anyone else’s”

THAT. THAT and THAT


Amen

Posted by gowings from MTL on 04/18/14 at 03:35 PM ET

bezukov's avatar

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from Where the GM likes his team. on 04/18/14 at 03:34 PM ET

I wore my Howe jersey to work today and was asked if I’m the captain of the Wings.  I said yes.  Our coworkers obviously can’t recognize greatness WFIBL.

 

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 04/18/14 at 03:47 PM ET

dougie's avatar

Dammit. I can’t drink until just before game time.

Posted by dougie on 04/18/14 at 04:06 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Playoff Haiku

Jurco, Helm, Fredo

Tertiary Scoring, Bitch

Finish Rask, move on

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/18/14 at 04:27 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Dammit. I can’t drink until just before game time.
Posted by dougie on 04/18/14 at 04:06 PM ET

Then read this:

http://grantland.com/features/bob-seger-detroit-week-career/

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/18/14 at 04:37 PM ET

dougie's avatar

Franzen, useless Mule
We will hunt you with large dogs
Better start on time!

Posted by dougie on 04/18/14 at 04:40 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Ready, set, vomit

Twenty three years in a row

Whatever it takes

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 04/18/14 at 04:41 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Dammit. I can’t drink until just before game time.
Posted by dougie on 04/18/14 at 04:06 PM ET
Then read this:
http://grantland.com/features/bob-seger-detroit-week-career/
Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/18/14 at 04:37 PM ET

And this:

http://grantland.com/the-triangle/norris-division-red-wings-fights/

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/18/14 at 04:46 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

Kate wins!

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 04/18/14 at 05:06 PM ET

dougie's avatar

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/18/14 at 04:37 PM ET

Thanks, Cap’n. Both were great reads.

Posted by dougie on 04/18/14 at 05:14 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/18/14 at 04:46 PM ET

good stuff, indeed.

L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/18/14 at 05:21 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Thanks, Cap’n. Both were great reads.
Posted by dougie on 04/18/14 at 05:14 PM ET

You’re welcome. I’m reading the one on Elmore Leonard right now. Here’s a link to the whole series:

https://grantland.com/detroitweek/

IE gives me a security warning about a bad certificate; I assume that a remnant of the heartbleed bug.

Like WFiBL, I’m not getting much done today.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/18/14 at 05:22 PM ET

 1 2 >       Next »

Add a Comment

Please limit embedded image or media size to 575 pixels wide.

Add your own avatar by joining Kukla's Korner, or logging in and uploading one in your member control panel.

Captchas bug you? Join KK or log in and you won't have to bother.

Smileys

Notify me of follow-up comments?

Feed

Most Recent Blog Posts

About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com