Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Ready. Set. Vomit.

Back in 2007, so long ago that I can't even find the links to those posts, the Wings were on the verge of horrific defeat to Anaheim.  

The game before, a puck stayed in the air.  It floated and weaved like a Chuck Long 7 yard out. All over the place. No direction.  But momentum took it, carried it until Lucifer gave it a final push with some hot evil breath and sent it over our Czech Miracle of Insanity's shoulder.  That game, that moment, is etched in Stress Train history, along with 34.7, Max Talbot, deficits to garbage teams like St. Louis and Phoenix, extra men on the ice, stolen goals, Al MacInnis and Jamie Langenbrunner, Deadmarsh, Yzerman hitting the crossbar, and big Swedish asses.

That goal that beat Hasek sealed the series for Anaheim in 2007.  It didn't settle the series. It sealed it.  The next game the Wings were down three goals after two periods.

But something weird happened before the final horn in that shithole Honda Center.  In the third, Pavel Datsyuk and Hank Zetterberg were born.  They dominated that period.  Datsyuk scored to cut it to 2.  Pahlssen made it 3 again, and then Datsyuk...again.  With three minutes left, down by 2, Zetterberg beat Giguere and not one of us didn't think that series was ours.  

Of course it wasn't.  180 frantic seconds and about 19 different dead pets later, it was done.  

Datsyuk and Zetterberg, though.  What they did in that third period.  They owned it, much like they did the final week of this regular season.  They absolutely owned it.

They are the keys and there can be no doubt about that.  As they go, so goes your happiness.  Yes, we need Franzen and Filppula. We need the young D. We need you, Jimmah.  But it's 13 and 40.  This is their series. It's their run.  And it could be their legacy if the impossible were to occur.  

It's ok to hate, you know.  It's ok to despise Corey Perry, the original little bitch well before Rosby.  It's ok to hate Ryan Getzlaf, who is already playing the fat, balding martyr.

“Have you listened to the media the last couple of days?” Ducks forward and captain Ryan Getzlaf told the L.A. Times.

 

“We are not the favorite, trust me. It’s the same story as the whole season. We’re prepared for that.”

Oh, the poor victim.  The two-seeded underdog.  STFU.  Seriously, that's NBA talk.  Hockey players don't say stupid shit like that.  They don't whine about "disrespect" and singular belief found only in their room where getting between the coach and his Hot Pockets is suicide.  

Yes, the coach.  There is no doubt in my mind that by Game 3, he will be the number one subject of our scorn.  

But forget the chubby whiner for a minute and focus on ours.  Our coach that is, not our chubby.  Aside from Zetterberg and Datsyuk, our Uncle Mike might be the most vital cog in this mini-success story.  Two veteran defensemen have sat forever. I can't remember the last time Ian White played and I dig that.  Carlo whateverthefuck his name is will never, barring injury, see Red Wing ice again.  He never should have in the first place, but that's borderline Holland bashing and we're not doing that. Yet.  Babcock turned the blue line keys over to youth and he's been rewarded.  He's guided this team minus Helm, minus a Serial Killer, minus a veteran Swede who you'd think would be somewhat critical but is purely an afterthought.

He will outcoach that fat beaver Boudreau.  Datsyuk and Zetterberg will outplay Katie Perry and Getzlaf.  But there are mysteries to be unraveled past those facts, past the obvious.  Anaheim has a Swiss kid and a stout defense, allegedly.  The Wings have inexperience, amazingly, and a third line that has given us tentative hope.  Selanne is a concern, but it's ok to hate his ass too.  

Your expectations have been low all year.  All season long we've tempered our arrogance to prevent an emotional crash at precisely this date on the calendar.  But I'm advocating Swagger today.  

Trot it out. Flaunt it.  It's who we are and we've earned it.  But we're doing it differently, because if you think this is stressful? It's nothing compared to what awaits in about ten days, maybe two weeks.

Yes, 16 is the thing.  12 is the ultimate goal.

But for now, it's just 4.  4 to Round 2.  4 to the matchup that just might define our two legends.

4 to the Hawks, bitches.  Because you know the Ingalls sisters aren't long for this, or any, playoff run.

4 to the Hawks.  One at a time.  Drinking now, and I mean right now, is absolutely authorized.

See you for the Live Blog and god help us all. 

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Comments

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Nathan's avatar

big Swedish asses.

Pics?

Posted by Nathan from the scoresheet! on 04/30/13 at 08:11 AM ET

w2j2's avatar

Abbracadabra is starting to do a decent imitation of that big Swedish ass…Just like Pavel knew he would, and so he told the coach.

cool smile

Posted by w2j2 on 04/30/13 at 08:27 AM ET

bezukov's avatar

Yes, 16 is the thing.  12 is the ultimate goal.

LGRW

Posted by bezukov from the kids are alright. on 04/30/13 at 08:36 AM ET

Leo_Racicot's avatar

Good stuff.

The interference call on Pavel in the third period of game 5 in 2007 has got to be the worst singular call in hockey history.  Without that call we’re heading back to the Spree Center

Need to get angry?

Head to the 1:25:30 mark and watch the next 20 seconds where Lord Stanley was taken from us:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QNYOyNFYc08

Posted by Leo_Racicot on 04/30/13 at 08:39 AM ET

Vladimir16's avatar

“Have you listened to the media the last couple of days?” Ducks forward and captain Ryan Getzlaf told the L.A. Times.

“We are not the favorite, trust me. It’s the same story as the whole season. We’re prepared for that.”

Damn, I hate those two fuchers!
Go Wings!

Posted by Vladimir16 from Grand River Valley on 04/30/13 at 08:40 AM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

Getzlaff is a crazy goon.  My biggest fear is injury.  If the Wings can escape injury, this series is ours.

One. Game. At. A. Time.

Just win tonight.

LET’S GO RED WINGS !!!!!

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 04/30/13 at 08:56 AM ET

Hootinani's avatar

uh, Deadmarsh

Not many names out there stir up the fire and brimstone of an old testament style hatred like that one.

The only thing that will assuage this fury is seeing the Wings lay waste to the Mighty Fuchs, leaving Katie Perry and Cryin Getzlaf lying on the ice, kicking and screaming in frustration, and forcing Selanne to not only retire, but vow to never step foot on ice again, not even the little patch next to his car in the driveway of his Finnish retreat, lest he be reminded of the utter destruction brought down upon him during this series.

A defeat so epic in scale and totality, that during game 3, Bobby Ryan sees the error of his ways, disappears from the Fuchs lockerroom during intermission, and emerges from the Zamboni entrance wearing White’s jersey, in an attempt to join his tormentor’s cause.  At which time Babcock tells him hes not worthy to play for his beloved Wings this year, but if he sits quietly on the bench and watches in awe, he might be fortunate enough to join the 4th line next season.  Just maybe.

A dismantling so thurough that after only 3 games, Fasth is diagnosed with an extreme case of PTSD, and spends the entirety of game 4 curled up in the fetal position in the crease, clinging to his goalie stick, to which he has attached a pair of Getzlaf’s giant tighty-whities, signaling his defeat in a desperate bid to end his suffering.

Hey, it could happen.

GO WINGS!!!

Posted by Hootinani on 04/30/13 at 08:59 AM ET

Cwix's avatar

Isn’t that also the series that Niedermayer and Pronger hammer-sandwiched Holmstrom along the boards, with Pronger only getting a one game suspension? And the officials allowed a goal when the Ducks took a shot that hit the netting above our goal, which then dropped next to the net and got planted? The play was “unreviewable.” Fuch them.

Posted by Cwix from Grand Rapids, now Chicago, IL on 04/30/13 at 08:59 AM ET

edillac's avatar

cant wait

Posted by edillac from isolation on 04/30/13 at 09:10 AM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

I hate Corey fuching Perry, at very nearly the same level of loathing that is reserved for Rosby.  Now that is saying something.

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 04/30/13 at 09:10 AM ET

NIVO's avatar

A perfect line: “The dead only know one thing; it is better to be alive.” The kids only know one thing; it is better to win. Inexperience here may be a positive. These kids don’t know they are supposed to lose. That’s the Swagger our Chief so rightly describes, and it tastes like Mom’s hot apple pie. Enjoy the series 19, it is gonna be sweet.

GAME ON!  Game On indeed.

Posted by NIVO from underpants gnome village on 04/30/13 at 09:13 AM ET

MoreShoot's avatar

That ‘07 series was the last time Danny Cleary was a dangerous force.  Yes, he got the series winner next year, but it was in ‘07 that he was rattling everyone in the Ducks zone.  One more time, Dan-o?

Posted by MoreShoot on 04/30/13 at 09:15 AM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

Homer getting smashed

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 04/30/13 at 09:21 AM ET

MOWingsfan19's avatar

One is the number that really matters. One shift at a time. One period at a time and one game at a time.

Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 04/30/13 at 09:49 AM ET

Guilherme's avatar

Isn’t that also the series that Niedermayer and Pronger hammer-sandwiched Holmstrom along the boards, with Pronger only getting a one game suspension?

Fizzix, dude.

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 04/30/13 at 10:00 AM ET

gowings's avatar

Posted by Hootinani on 04/30/13 at 08:59 AM ET


This will make a perfect bed time story for my kids smile LOVE IT!! And hopefully, they will wake up tomorrow and the Wings will be up by 1 in the series smile

Posted by gowings from MTL on 04/30/13 at 10:05 AM ET

Avatar

For years we feared the hot goalie, well kids, this time WE got the hot goalie. In Jimmy we trust.

Posted by selke13 on 04/30/13 at 10:09 AM ET

klank's avatar

Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 04/30/13 at 09:49 AM ET

you stole my game time (magic) post.  me likey!

Posted by klank from the finest hot tub in Marin on 04/30/13 at 10:19 AM ET

Little Redhead's avatar

Whoever listens to the “biased” media or the critics anyway?  I don’t….....

I believe and more importantly the WINGS BELIEVE, yes they do, and they know they can do it, after all it’s DUCK SEASON!!!!!

Lets Go Red Wings!!!

Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's chair on 04/30/13 at 10:31 AM ET

Bent's avatar

Things seem to have returned to normal at a2y.  I dig that.

I still have much hatred for the ducks.  But nothing like the 2007 ducks.  Neidermeyer still brings up much hate when I hear his name, cheapshotting elbowing bastard.  And Pronger…  I don’t think I need to say anything else.  Do this Wings.

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 04/30/13 at 10:41 AM ET

MOWingsfan19's avatar

This is the treatment poultry deserves…. to be straight up shot in the face.
 photo MO2_zps3c5b9548.jpg

Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 04/30/13 at 11:14 AM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

Oh MO.  Poor turkey…  (sorry, but I am not into the real killing thing).

But laying waste to Whining Quacking Ducks on Ice?  Yes.

Just. Win. Tonight.

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 04/30/13 at 11:16 AM ET

HockeytownOverhaul's avatar

Yeah but I bet you’re into eatin’ it MRW wink

Bird looks TASTY.

F these turds.  Ask Bobby Ryan.  Ducks are a team that’s scared.  They’re used to pushing around the smaller Wings, talkin’ their shit “Hey Pavel, we’re coming for you”... that shit makes me laugh.  After Pav went toe-to-toe with Perry, they found out what this team was about.. but that was a long time ago.  Bobby Ryan needed reminded.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWjC-wlMkaw

These ducks are gonna get frustrated, they’re gonna try their usual shit to get back into it.  And I can’t wait.  I can’t wait for a new montage of physical distruction that’ll ensue.

Posted by HockeytownOverhaul on 04/30/13 at 11:39 AM ET

HockeytownOverhaul's avatar

destruction*

Posted by HockeytownOverhaul on 04/30/13 at 11:41 AM ET

dougie's avatar

I have never seen a turkey with daffodils growing out of its ass. Ever

May the same thing happen to Corey Perry.

LGRW

Posted by dougie on 04/30/13 at 11:42 AM ET

Primis's avatar

found only in their room where getting between the coach and his Hot Pockets is suicide.

That’s the line of the playoffs thus far.

Can’t wait to hear Teemu whine about officiating at the Joe some more…

Posted by Primis on 04/30/13 at 11:45 AM ET

OlderThanChelios's avatar

The only two Duckies who really scare me are Selanne and Souray. Selanne because of his composure and Souray because of who might get crippled trying to block his shot from the point. Douchebags like Fairy and GetsLaughedAt can be beaten just by getting them agitated and turning them into the 12-year-olds they really are.

Let the games begin.

Posted by OlderThanChelios from Grand Rapids, MI on 04/30/13 at 11:46 AM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

That is a fine looking bird there, MO. What time is dinner?  grin

Chief, I can’t muster the hate for Selane. Perry and Getzlaugh, absolutely, but not Selane.

Everyone knows I’m a big Babcock basher, but one has to give credit where credit is due. He was dealt a crappy hand on the back end with Q, Coca Cola and Beige. The old Uncle Mike that I loathe would have stuck with those crappy vets no matter what. It’s Scotty’s 2nd Commandment, thou shalt not play young players, better to lose with the devil you know than take a chance on the devil you don’t.

I don’t know what happened to Uncle Mike that made him cast aside that Commandment, but I’m glad he did. It took a lot of guts to play DeKeyser. An undrafted US College player? Everyone knows only the kids that can’t hang in Major Junior go to college(sarcasm, mocking Grapes). And what did he tell Q? Q is actually playing decently of late.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/30/13 at 11:57 AM ET

NIVO's avatar

Getzslob and Ferry…..........gay law firm or pedophile ice cream shack?

Posted by NIVO from underpants gnome village on 04/30/13 at 11:57 AM ET

jeweler's avatar

Anaheim is crap. nuff said.

is it 10:00p.m. yet?

Posted by jeweler from Grand Rapids, Michigan on 04/30/13 at 11:58 AM ET

TKShreve's avatar

I remember sitting on the edge of my bed as Selanne roofed that gimme giveaway into our net, courtesy of one Andres “can you super-size that for me?” Lilja.

Just another suppressed memory of many where the Winged Wheel sauntered into the playoffs as a top seed - top contender, only to be shown the gate in the most unexpected manner.

Jump forward to 2013 and I cannot be happier with the position we now sit. Streaking into the playoffs LAKings 2012 style, with a very winnable series. And to hand deliver it to the ducks….. well that my friends is justice served. All the BS about leaving behind dubious rivalries and such, I have to admit that the Ducks and the Wings have had their fair share of jastling over the years, playoffs included.

Great read IwoCPO! Edgy, creative, Rohirrim mustering, page-turning eye jazz which stokes my pride for this team. LGRW!!!

Posted by TKShreve from East Uptown on 04/30/13 at 12:03 PM ET

PaulinMiamiBeach's avatar

I remember reading that the Ducks had the fewest (or close to the fewest) power play opportunities in the league in the regular season.

wait for it.

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 04/30/13 at 12:07 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

Fuch the Ducks.

Selane’s going to get another Kronwalling,  Hiller will get lit up and and placed on IR due to a return of virtigo, Getzlaf will again be kicking his stick like a little bitch,  Perry will goon it up only to get his ass kicked again by Dats, and the refs will be showered with remnants of fried chicken flying out of Boudreau’s fat lips.

And, as always, we will also be playing against the refs the whole time.

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from where free agents no longer dare. on 04/30/13 at 12:38 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

Yeah but I bet you’re into eatin’ it MRW

Posted by HockeytownOverhaul on 04/30/13 at 11:39 AM ET

Got me there.  red face

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 04/30/13 at 01:11 PM ET

hockeychic's avatar

GAME DAY!!!  Let’s go RED WINGS!!!!!

Someone please cover Selanne on the Ducks PP.  Please.

Boudreau’s downfall in Washington was that he could not adjust during a playoff series and could not come up with answers when his team was being beaten.  Hoping he still hasn’t learned his lesson.

ALL ABOARD!  It’s that wonderful/awful time of the year!

Posted by hockeychic from Denver, CO on 04/30/13 at 01:11 PM ET

Little Redhead's avatar

Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 04/30/13 at 11:14 AM ET

Nice Picture!

Lets Go Red Wings!!!

Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's chair on 04/30/13 at 01:19 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Boudreau’s downfall in Washington was that he could not adjust during a playoff series and could not come up with answers when his team was being beaten.  Hoping he still hasn’t learned his lesson.

Posted by hockeychic from Denver, CO on 04/30/13 at 01:11 PM ET

+19

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 04/30/13 at 01:23 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

I like this team.  I really like this match up. Ima thinking Abby does too.  We finally have some big bodies to weather the DuhUck crap they will throw at us.  Toss in a little piece of sandpaper named Tootoo and this should be a fun series. Confidence is high.

The DuhUcks know the Wings are coming and they hate it…
The DuhUcks know we fill their Ponda with fans and they hate it….
The Wings are living rent free in the DuhUck heads and the puck has not even dropped….

Let’s Go Red Wings !!!!!

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, doing the pre-season shuffle.... on 04/30/13 at 01:43 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

MO you handsome devil you, toss me a drumstick!

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, doing the pre-season shuffle.... on 04/30/13 at 01:45 PM ET

Avatar

I remember reading that the Ducks had the fewest (or close to the fewest) power play opportunities in the league in the regular season.

wait for it.

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 04/30/13 at 12:07 PM ET

Anaheim 135 power play opportunities, Detroit 185
Anaheim short handed 162 times, Detroit 164

Stats that mean absolutely nothing as we’ve all seen from past playoff series against the Sharks specifically.

Posted by Valek from Chicago on 04/30/13 at 02:00 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com