Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Preparing To Burn Down The East

Typically, I give the preseason very little credence. I prefer to think of it as a few games to skate around and shoot stuff at goalies, maybe bump some people hard but not hard enough to make them seriously angry.  Nobody wants to get hurt and I don't want to see anyone hurt unless it's a team I despise like St. Louis. Even then, I don't want the players hurt I just want the fans to be sad because Blues fans are, without exception, dicks.

And if the Wings play poorly in the preseason? Obviously, that gives even more weight to my theory that exhibition games mean nothing.

I've changed my mind, literally in the last twenty seconds. Like a woman.  Now, I believe the Wings will finish with the best record in the Eastern Conference because they've dominated the two "favorites" to the tune of 12 goals to 3 or something.

It's been a long, hot, interesting summer.  So much to talk about and so many things you've discussed without the benefit of my even-keeled non-biased views.  Certainly you don't expect me to recap all of it in some Malikian thesis? No.

So, here's what I'll do. I like the "stream of conscies, concious, conscio"....FUCH IT...I like to just tap where my mind takes me.

I'm glad the sad Sens fans have stopped blabbing and blabbering and whining about "Alfie" leaving.  And I'll never call him "Alfie", ever.  However, I vow that I'll spell his name differently every time I use it because I can never remember if it's two dd's, or two ss's or two rr's or all six. 

I keep reading how Dan DeKeyser's gained all this muscle. Uncle Mike says he's much bigger than the last time he saw him.  But that was like, what, three months ago? Did he really get all buff and shit in three months? I like DeKeyser as much as any straight man can like another but that seems odd. Having said that...

I love the Wing defense. I really do. I did last year, toward the end.  I do now. And I'm not kidding.  

If all goes well, Aflrreddsson (x6) and Weiss will fit right in, score often, exchange many hugs and face shield bumps. Their tongues will stay in their mouths but affection will be obvious. That's in a good world, a world baby Jesus promised us when we made the life-long commitment to The Greatest Professional Sports Franchise Ever.  I believe it's possible and I also think our Enigmatic Mule has a great chance to be prolific too.

But part of me has a Modano-Whitney fear going on.  Part of me has this disgusting concern that Alffrreddsson (x8) is going to find acclimation harder than he thought.  I mean, I know it worked for Ray Bourque. Shit it must have because they retired his jersey.  But, sometimes I have bad visions and Alf. struggling is one.

I woke up this morning with a horrible feeling. A combination of hangover, cigar, and a day of Ikea ahead of me.  MOTHERFUCHER I hate Ikea.  But that wasn't it. I'm afraid we're never going to see Darren Helm play consistent hockey again.  FYI: If he does, he's the key. If he doesn't, it's not the deal breaker but it hurts.  I just want to see that kid play pain free for a while so I can remember how fun it was to watch him. 

Is Gustav Nyquist guaranteed a spot? I don't know.  I mean, is he one of the guys we can send back without losing him to waivers or whatever? I ask that because if he's healthy and doesn't play 82 then somebody important is getting stupid.  20 goals. You heard it here and that means it absolutely must happen. If he plays...20 goals.  

I'm very happy. I'm very happy we're no longer in the West.  For all the right reasons, it's a great move for every fan, player and coach.  But I'm having a hard time losing my hate for the Blues, Hawks, Dive, etc...and shifting that hate east.  I know. Pittsburgh. Got it.  I know...we grew up hating Toronto. Noted.  I'm sure other rivalries will surface and fester as good rivalries should.  But I'm worried that I'm not hating enough. I'll get there.

Brendan Morrow's still out there.  In case you were wondering.

If Allffrreddsson (x10) and Weiss work, we have the best two lines in hockey.  If Helm comes back we have the best four lines in hockey.  If everyone, or mostly everyone, stays healthy...we have the best team in hockey. We already have the best coach, the best (usually) GM, the best everything.  

Ten days until the opener and If it's ok with you? I'm going to start counting Tuesdays.  

Filed in: | Abel to Yzerman | Permalink



IMHO, the whole season really does lie on the production of that second line.  Jimmy will be Jimmy, the defense will be solid but not amazing, and the Dats/Z/Abby line will be the top line the wings have been needing for a while.  Secondary scoring!  (Yes, I know I just blew all of your minds with my amazing insight)

Posted by neffernin on 09/21/13 at 11:25 AM ET


And if there’s one thing I learned when going to Europe, there’s always two s’s in sson (and in half of all other places where s’s appear in germaic languages)

Posted by neffernin on 09/21/13 at 11:26 AM ET


I hate it when this happens to young players, I do.  Wrapped up in all of the ‘ohmigod the young guy just has to play why can’t everybody see it?’ nonsense is the inevitable overvaluing of just about every freaking player under the age of 25.

Then, of course, when the player doesn’t meet the borderline insane expectations he got tagged with, he’s a disappointment or a bust and the target for derision and scorn.

Nyquist is a good player.  Hanging a 20 goal expectation on him when he’s scored 4 in 40 regular season games and 2 in 18 playoff games is nuts.  Even if he hadn’t been a 1 goal in 10 games guy for two years now, there are so many other players ahead of him on the depth chart that even if he does play 82 it’s more likely it’ll be on a third line getting 12ish a night with no PP time than it’d be in the top 6 with a regular PP shift.

I just hope fans don’t end up drowning him with their joy juice.

Helm’s… done, I think.  Not done done as in never going to play again, but done as the occasionally dynamic player he was before.  His whole game was speed.  His whole game.  Groin, back, etc and suddenly he’s not the fastest guy on the ice anymore and then what?  You have a kinda fast, undersized guy who’s 51-52% on the dot.  Hopefully I’m wrong, but man… I don’t think I am.

Finally, I don’t think people have properly calibrated how awesome it will be for the team to be in the East.  It’ll be great for us just with the game times, of course, but holy cow is the team going to have more hop on the road than they used to.  Travel… travel sucks.  George drove up north a couple hours and watched a training camp for 5 days and is going to be in a hyperbaric for a week trying to recover.  Those long westies Detroit always had are just as time consuming… and then you have to get hammered into plexiglass 20 times and skate your ass off over 4-5 games.

Also, I don’t know if the ‘get up for Detroit’ thing is going to be as prevalent year one in the East like it was in the West.  It may be, but I doubt it.  Historically crap teams like Edmonton or Columbus or Dallas would pump up when the Wings came to town and make games against doormats a lot harder than ‘normal’.

I think it’ll get back to that eventually once Detroit starts collecting scalps, but in the short term there may be less of it.

Posted by HockeyinHD on 09/21/13 at 11:37 AM ET

RhymeTimeWingsDings's avatar

DEATH AND HELL FIRE TO THE EASTERN NEMESIS!!!  Now that we’re part of the “Atlantic Conference”  can we just refer to it as the “Aquatic Conference”?

Posted by RhymeTimeWingsDings on 09/21/13 at 11:38 AM ET

IwoCPO's avatar

I hate it when this happens to young players, I do.

I do it every year. At least ten times. You should stop reading. I know it makes you sad.

Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 09/21/13 at 11:52 AM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

thanks, Chief.


that is all.


Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 09/21/13 at 01:01 PM ET

OlderThanChelios's avatar

And I’ll never call him “Alfie”, ever.  However, I vow that I’ll spell his name differently every time I use it because I can never remember if it’s two dd’s, or two ss’s or two rr’s or all six.

As neffernin suggested, it really is pretty straighforward, Chief. Just think of the name as Alfred’s son (i.e., Alfredsson). Same with Eric’s son (Ericsson), Ander’s son (Andersson), Gustav’s son (Gustavsson) and Samuel’s son (Samuelsson). I mean it’s not like Hulohand…Hulihen…Hulahem…whatever.

Anyway, glad you’re back at it again. I’ve missed stuff like this…“If all goes well, Aflrreddsson (x6) and Weiss will fit right in, score often, exchange many hugs and face shield bumps. Their tongues will stay in their mouths but affection will be obvious.” Gross and funny at the same time. Genius.

Ten days until the opener and If it’s ok with you? I’m going to…

I see what you did there.  grin

Posted by OlderThanChelios from Grand Rapids, MI on 09/21/13 at 01:36 PM ET

w2j2's avatar

Crazy as this sounds, I think the key guy this year is Abbracadabra.
I think he has focused great attention on Homer’s big bad *ss wink). 

Now I know there certain ‘Dive fans who study Homer’s *ss out of other motivations, but Abby not only gives a tough net-front presence, but he is a lot faster and better at retrieving pucks than Homer ever was.

Datsyuk said as much when he praised Abby for pulling his piano.


Posted by w2j2 on 09/21/13 at 02:14 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Datsyuk said as much when he praised Abby for pulling his piano.

Is that what they’re calling it these days? cheese

Posted by calquake from a.k.a. Uniquake, workin' on my manifesto on 09/21/13 at 02:41 PM ET

redxblack's avatar

It’s a huge drag that the game isn’t televised. I was hoping to watch it this evening. I guess I can always pull pianos or something instead.

Posted by redxblack from Akron Ohio on 09/21/13 at 02:46 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

“For me, I just try to keep it simple, and obviously it’s always the best when Pav or Z have the puck on their stick,” Abdelkader said. “I know that. They’re so good whether it’s in the open ice or in the corners defensively, I just try to do my part and pull the rope. ... “

yup, Abby ‘pulling the rope’.


Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 09/21/13 at 03:38 PM ET

Kate from AZ-made in Detroit's avatar

I think he has focused great attention on Homer’s big bad *ss ).

I agree. I am of the opinion(at least for today) that Abby is trying to do the job and working on filling the great void that was filled by Homer’s beautiful, big, bad A$$. Nothing I said last season is relevant. To me.

Hey Chief! So nice to see ya back, and, in form. wink

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from AZ-made in Detroit on 09/21/13 at 07:06 PM ET

cigar_nurse's avatar

Glad to see you in midseason form Chief.  Looking forward to the LB with all you juveniles. The summer was just too damn long and am glad to get some cooler weather. Will be in the mitten in a week and may get to the Joe for opening night.  Good to hear Ken and Paul on the stream.  Can’t wait to get to the real games in another 10 days or so.

Posted by cigar_nurse from Home of the Cup Champion Greenville Pylons on 09/21/13 at 07:34 PM ET

aerodude's avatar

Got my GCL sub ready. 98 to 12. Get. It. Done.

Posted by aerodude on 09/22/13 at 12:59 AM ET

dougie's avatar

I gots 2 extra lower level tickets for Friday, Oct 4, when our boys come to Raleigh to spoil the CandyCanes season opener. $50 each, no fees.

Send me a message at KK, if you are interested.

Posted by dougie on 09/22/13 at 11:49 AM ET

Hippy Dave's avatar

Happy to see you’ve not hung up the skates, Chief.  Looking forward to a very interesting season.

Posted by Hippy Dave from Portland by way of Detroit on 09/22/13 at 11:59 AM ET

Kate from AZ-made in Detroit's avatar

Evenin’ Bitches. Is the party here or over at George’s place? I would really like to beat the Cawks one last time befor we burn down the East.

Let’s Roll.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from AZ-made in Detroit on 09/22/13 at 04:00 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

George has a LB posted.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 09/22/13 at 04:04 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

GJM’s version of a LB post.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 09/22/13 at 04:06 PM ET

monkey's avatar

I gots 2 extra lower level tickets for Friday, Oct 4, when our boys come to Raleigh to spoil the CandyCanes season opener. $50 each, no fees.

Send me a message at KK, if you are interested.

Oh, I see, NOW you have tickets.  Good timing.

Posted by monkey from Prague on 09/23/13 at 07:02 AM ET

monkey's avatar

  Datsyuk said as much when he praised Abby for pulling his piano.

Is that what they’re calling it these days? cheese

Anyone want some cinnamon on their banana?

Posted by monkey from Prague on 09/23/13 at 07:03 AM ET

Primis's avatar


BOSTON - Fans who “discovered” hockey around the same time Lackhawk fans did and will “undiscover” it in short order much like Hawks fans as well.  Drunken, obnoxious people commenting on things they know nothing about (but enough about Jack Edwards)...  one of the teams that stupidly think “Original Six” and “On-Ice Success” mean the same thing.  Genuinely believe Bobby Orr was greatest player of all-time and that Cam Neely was an all-time forward.  Keep Mike Milbury gainfully employed (NESN) when he’s not sh*tting all over national airwaves on NBC.

BUFFALO - Blues of the East:  Constantly believe this is “their year” when it never, ever will be.  Continue to screw up their own sweaters despite their classic look being far superior.  Team of midgets.  Still believe Ville Leino is awesome.  Somehow believe their city is the only city that ever gets winter.  So dumb they once wasted a draft pick on a non-existent Japanese prospect KNOWING it was a waste.  Have employed one of the worst announcers in all of pro sports.  Can’t even spell their nickname correctly.

CAROLINA - Somehow once won a Cup.  Linger behind NASCAR and ACC sports in local fan minds… shoot linger behind NC State Wolfpack, which almost isn’t even real ACC that’s like what Illinois is to the B1G.  Have more fans tailgating in the parking lot than inside at their seats.  Give Predators fans a run for their mouthy-yet-unknowledgable fans.  Only ever had success because their Southeast Division was sports’ biggest joke.  Owner is a traitor to Detroit.  Once tried to sign away Sergei Fedorov, probably with no intention of doing anything except make Detroit pay more for him.

COLUMBUS - #Lumbus is a retarded meme.  Pathetic franchise.  Full of Ohio State fans, which speaks to the mental state/acumen.  Fanbase can be summed up best by the Jackets fan at the Joe in Game 2 of the playoffs who was mouthing at Wings fans while his team’s goalie was getting lit up repeatedly behind him.  Graveyard for goalies.  So pathetic they had to be moved to the East to try and save their market because all other options are exhausted.  One trotted out a phallic-looking mascot and thought nothing of it.  Too stupid to use to slogan “Carry the Flag” every season (because that was an awesome idea IMHO).

FLORIDA - Survive on fans of other teams filling their seats.  Incompetence at all levels.  Steal money from other clubs via revenue-sharing due to that incompetence.  Very little evidence they should be allowed to continue to exist even.  Have ice teams with guys like Jovanivski, Luongo, Pavel Bure, and more and still never can win.

MONTREAL - Most obnoxious fanbase of all.  Will tell you all about that one time 30 years ago they did that one thing and… and… *cries when you mention anything in recent memory or that Patrick Roy game against Detroit*....  Are oblivious to anything that has happened since the 1980’s.  Don’t realize they are an even bigger punchline than the Leafs.  Genuinely believed Zdeno Chara should have gotten death penalty for Max Pacioretty being stupid.  Think Tomas Plekanec is a Top 5 forward in the league.  Very definition of “living in the past”.

NEW JERSEY DEVILS - Still employs UncleDaddy.  Repeatedly circumvents league rules so that the league has to rewrite them to try to stop their a**bag of a GM from doing stupid things.  Allegedly has fans, though their arena shows otherwise.  It’s New Jersey, ‘nuff said.  Calls their arena “The Rock”, which is how their roster must feel having to play there (GET IT?!  IMPRISONED LIKE AT ALCATRAZ.  IT’S AN ALCATRAZ REFERENCE).  So awesome to play for that Ilya Kovalchuk retired to play in Russia rather than get paid to play in the greatest league in his sport, and their captain Zach Parise signed in MINNESOTA to get away.

NEW YORK ISLANDERS - A club so pathetic they once named their backup goalie as their new GM… and it was an *improvement*.  Club that traded away busts like Zdeno Chara, Todd Bertuzzi, Roberto Luongo, Olli Jokinen, etc.  Can’t make up their minds where they want to play—the rusted out looking joke of an arena in a terrible location, or the one in Nassau.  Owner’s name is “Wang”.

NEW YORK RANGERS - Leafs South.  Constantly trying to buy a winner, constantly failing.  Get unjustified amounts of attention for doing little-to-nothing of consequence.  Most pathetic of the Original Six, may not even deserve to be recognized as one of such (and that’s saying something in company including Boston and Chicago).  Only two Cups since 1940.  May not even have an arena to play out of in the near future.  Have the misfortunate of New Yorkers as a fanbase, which is an extra strike against.

OTTAWA SENATORS - Crook of an owner who is also obnoxious.  Whine and cry about everything (and you should hear the FANS).  Don’t realize they are on the same level as Winnipeg when it comes to Canadian NHL teams.  Cling to a heritage so ancient the rules allowed for an extra skater.  Once legitimately thought they’d pry Steve Yzerman out of Detroit, then have acted all butthurt when Detroit took Daniel Alfredsson from them because turnabout is NOT fair play apparently.  Always will be second fiddle until they probably relocate to Hamilton or Baltimore or Hartford or something.

PHILADELPHIA FLYERS - LOL Flyers.  Forever a goon team that thinks they are better than reality.  Signs players to long-term deals to trade them away, making them a glorified farm team for much of the rest of the NHL.  Goalie graveyard.  Ugly sweaters.  Worst fanbase in all of pro sports, easily.  Owned by the same company that owns the league’s broadcast rights so… 82 games of Philly on national TV for everyone!  Nope no conflict of interest there!

PITTSBURGH PENGUINS - Their owner, a former great player, tried moving them, and is still considered a saint.  Have the biggest crybaby in the league in Sidney Crosby.  The league does EVERYTHING for them, they never have to accomplish anything themselves.  Are allowed to skate with 7 or even 8 players on the ice at times and the league just shrugs.  Highly overrated coach and GM combo.  A fanbase that probably doesn’t even remember Jaromir Jagr.

TAMPA BAY LIGHTNING - Changes owners every 3 - 4 years.  Once was so lucky Jay Feaster was able to build a Cup winner there… COACHED BY JOHN TORTORELLA.  YOU TELL ME THAT’S NOT SHEER DUMB LUCK!  Thinks Dave Andreychuk is an all-time great.  Already forgot that they were once in the same division as Detroit (Norris).  Cry that the league won’t put teams in Jacksonville and Orlando to ease their travel.  Like to be referred to as the ‘ning.

TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS - Consider Wendell Clark an all-time great, along with Mats Sundin.  Biggest chokers in the league bar-none.  Think they have legions of fans but it’s probably more like only one small unit or squad.  Cry and moan about being unfairly treated despite the league revolving EVERYTHING around them first and foremost.  No Leafs fans are alive that can remember their last Cup, it’s been so long, yet they talk like they’ve won 7 of the last 8. 

WASHINGTON CAPITALS - Loudmouth, wrong-headed ownership.  Once probably iced the worst team ever in the history of North American professional sports.  Change sweaters every 2-3 years.  Think they are the most important franchise because of their D.C. locale, even though if you asked a fan to name all 30 teams they’d be one of the last.  It took a division full of expansion franchises to get the Capitals any kind of success.  A history of terrible, awful announcers calling their games.  Just a sad, sad history for a franchise as old as they are.

Posted by Primis on 09/24/13 at 02:15 PM ET

Kate from AZ-made in Detroit's avatar

Posted by Primis on 09/24/13 at 03:15 PM ET


Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from AZ-made in Detroit on 09/24/13 at 07:06 PM ET

behind the net in G.R.'s avatar

I know it is off topic, but has anyone else seen what Oracle has done? IMO the greatest comeback in the history of ALL sports. Winner of the 34 Ameria’s Cup after being down 8 to1, they ran off 8 straight wins. Congrats boys, well played,well done.

Posted by behind the net in G.R. on 09/25/13 at 04:53 PM ET

klank's avatar

Posted by Primis on 09/24/13 at 03:15 PM ET


Posted by klank from the finest hot tub in Marin on 09/26/13 at 11:33 AM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

” ... Congrats boys, well played,well done.”

Posted by behind the net in G.R. on 09/25/13 at 05:53 PM ET

I concur.


Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 09/27/13 at 10:11 AM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com