Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Polishing Off Glassware And Lubricating Livers, The Hasek Club Car Is Back In Business, Bitches

September isn’t October, but it sure beats the hell out of August.  At least to fans of the Detroit Red Wings, the greatest franchise in all of sports.

For the first time in years, we have a lot cap space to start the season at the same time as having too few spots on a roster with many players seeking to earn a spot.  And what would it all be without a place to revel in juvenile behaviour, crude insults, sharp commentary, and enough liquour to pickle the liver of everyone surfing the Gore?  That’s right, bitches, the Stress Train is back on track in 2011 and your humble bartender is back behind the bar dispensing cures for what ails you.

I’m not a pharmacist.  I’m not a journalist.  I’m barely coherent day-to-day.  But that won’t prevent me from keeping the doors open at A2Y.

I will spare you commentary for now, there is much we can and will discuss, but I will open up A2Y once again to your comments and sarcasm for the season.  Last season, I went through my own “offseason” induced by talking to Li’l Gary and the nausea he created in my gut.  After seriously considering never watching hockey again, I have decided to return.  Crack is a helluva drug, and watching the Red Wings may be marginally more addictive than it, so I couldn’t resist.

Besides, if all things continue as they are, we are in for another “Bettman Offseason” next summer as Li’l Gary pilots us towards another lockout.  Which means one very important thing:  2011-2012 will be the final season The Perfect Human, Nick Lidstrom, will lace up for the Red Wings.  And I simply can’t ignore the final season of the greatest hockey I’ve ever witnessed played by a defenceman.

I honestly don’t know what the Chief will be up to this season.  I will do my best to keep things going around here until he is back.  Despite being extremely busy with my own life and businesses, I want to ensure that the 19 have a place to call home this season, so I will be posting as often as my schedule allows me to.

Let loose with your comments here, bitches, the road to Cup #12 begins tonight, and I’m sure you have lots on your mind.

What are you drinking?

Filed in: | Abel to Yzerman | Permalink
 

Comments

 1 2 3 >  Last ›      Next »

SnLO's avatar

Like a breath of fresh air!

For starters, I’ll be having an Irish car bomb, the hit me with a Jameson and ginger.
That should set the tone about right.

Posted by SnLO from the sub great-white north on 09/21/11 at 03:14 PM ET

FranzensMouthguard's avatar

Huzzah! Listen to those rusty wheels squeak again!

Posted by FranzensMouthguard from Chicago, IL on 09/21/11 at 03:27 PM ET

MsRedWinger's avatar

Great to see the Train revving up again.

LET’S GO RED WINGS!!!!!

cool smile

Posted by MsRedWinger from Flori-duh on 09/21/11 at 03:34 PM ET

scottytooshotty's avatar

It’s been too long dude. Way too long. Glad you decided to stick with it.

Posted by scottytooshotty on 09/21/11 at 03:42 PM ET

redxblack's avatar

I visualize the stress train as looking like the DPM, but without a track.

Johnny Walker Red for me. I’m saving the good scotch for the real games.

Posted by redxblack from Akron Ohio on 09/21/11 at 03:45 PM ET

HockeyTownTodd's avatar

Gotta say this before the Mick gets to it, tonight…

Big Rig is going to make a lot of mistakes trying to do too much to justify his new paycheck.
He will settle down in time and simplify.  Hollands disciples will regroup, while the Rig’s critics
become very quiet.

Posted by HockeyTownTodd on 09/21/11 at 03:47 PM ET

OlderThanChelios's avatar

I honestly don’t know what the Chief will be up to this season.

Hmmm. The Master Chief already threw Bin Laden’s putrid corpse off the back of the Carl Vinson, so what clandestine operation could he possibly be up to now? Whatever it is, God speed to him.

And while we wait for his return, I’ll have a Rusty Nail, please.

Posted by OlderThanChelios from Grand Rapids, MI on 09/21/11 at 03:51 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

while the Rig’s critics
become very quiet.

Posted by HockeyTownTodd on 09/21/11 at 01:47 PM ET

Agree 100%.

And, there is no place like home. It feels just right being back among the reprobates, and, the arrogant.


Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 09/21/11 at 04:04 PM ET

SnLO's avatar

Jimmeh in the net tonight

Posted by SnLO from the sub great-white north on 09/21/11 at 04:10 PM ET

Red Winger's avatar

Voox is back, and the 19 regain the swagger for another season.

Life is good.

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 09/21/11 at 04:23 PM ET

Red Winger's avatar

I visualize the stress train as looking like the DPM, but without a track.

Posted by redxblack from Akron Ohio on 09/21/11 at 01:45 PM ET

Holy jumpin’ ...the puck has even dropped on the pre-season and we already have our first keeper of the year.

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 09/21/11 at 04:26 PM ET

Avatar

Holy jumpin’ ...the puck has even dropped on the pre-season and we already have our first keeper of the year.

Posted by Red Winger from oft-injured shitsacks and half-evolved apes on 09/21/11 at 02:26 PM ET

“Holy jumpin’” - does that mean we have to drain it or just take a drink - I can’t remember

Posted by kemeisel from shackled to a desk in academia on 09/21/11 at 04:40 PM ET

TeamDub's avatar

Okay, I refuse to believe that there isn’t a feed somewhere, somehow to see this game. I refuse to give the NHL my dollars directly, so their laggy pay stream is out.

If I find one, I’ll post it.

Go Wings!

Posted by TeamDub from The gratch. on 09/21/11 at 04:41 PM ET

Cwix's avatar

Yeah, baby! Let’s. get. this. started.

Posted by Cwix from Grand Rapids, now Roanoke, VA on 09/21/11 at 04:59 PM ET

FranzensMouthguard's avatar

I honestly don’t know what the Chief will be up to this season.

Watching MSU-UNC basketball on his carrier deck in November, lucky dude!

Posted by FranzensMouthguard from Chicago, IL on 09/21/11 at 05:40 PM ET

Behind_Enemy_Lines's avatar

woohoo, I will have a Jack N’ Coke sir.
3 spots left in my fantasy hockey league if anyone wants to join.
LGRW!

Posted by Behind_Enemy_Lines from Evanston,IL on 09/21/11 at 05:42 PM ET

ITDeuce's avatar

Howdy bitches.  I don’t suppose the game is televised tonight, huh?

Posted by ITDeuce from The Sunny High Desert on 09/21/11 at 05:42 PM ET

Avatar

Howdy bitches.  I don’t suppose the game is televised tonight, huh?

Posted by ITDeuce from The Land of Ice and Snow on 09/21/11 at 03:42 PM ET

It’s on the NHL Network, so I’m sure it will be streamed online somewhere. 

Someone once said something to me about “first row sports” and google.

Posted by Forlorn in VA @ work on 09/21/11 at 05:52 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Crown on the rocks here thanks

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 09/21/11 at 06:30 PM ET

TeamDub's avatar

Someone once said something to me about “first row sports” and google.

Ooooohhhhh, gracias.

Bookmarked.

Posted by TeamDub from The gratch. on 09/21/11 at 06:45 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

Horry Crap…a new post!  Voox no less! 

Welcome back my bartending compatriot.  Sailor Jerry and diet…..make it a double.  The Chief is at sea and is now a Master at whateverinhell Chiefs do.  Here’s to ya Master Chief!

So did y’all hear Osgood retired?  I read it somewhere….

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, for the 23rd postseason.... on 09/21/11 at 06:46 PM ET

Forlorn in VA's avatar

New post, lots of friendly faces.  I am so glad the season is starting back up.

Posted by TeamDub from The gratch. on 09/21/11 at 04:45 PM ET

De nada.

Posted by Forlorn in VA on 09/21/11 at 07:07 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Howdy reprobates… won’t be able to see anything tonight as I’m flying into Detroit from LAX for my 31st annual Manly Men’s Weekend (no wives or girlfriends allowed).  I’ll be spending the next 4 days in a drunken stupor, in the middle of nowhere (Meredith, MI), doing god knows what but that doesn’t mean I can’t start off with a libation now… so gimme a Crown Royal Black Label straight up Voox.  Oh yeah… and it’s great to have you back ya bastard.

Posted by calquake on 09/21/11 at 07:07 PM ET

mrfluffy's avatar

What’s this rumor there’s a hockey game on tonight?

Posted by mrfluffy from Long Beach on 09/21/11 at 07:25 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Hockey season, at last.

hola, bitches(!)

Hollands disciples will regroup, while the Rig’s critics
become very quiet.

Posted by HockeyTownTodd on 09/21/11 at 01:47 PM ET

I’m marking that one down Gramps, and really hoping you are right (but fearing you aren’t).

On the bright side, it is a contract year for the midget-pimp, and he can’t do worse than last season, can he?

Game On.

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 09/21/11 at 07:26 PM ET

J.J. from Kansas's avatar

I thought watching OTT/TOR on Monday would help alleviate the hockey blueballs, but that wasn’t so much a hockey game as it was a collection of test subjects trying to figure out how to make babies with a door jamb.

Looking forward to actual Red Wings hockey tonight, even if it is just preseason.

Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 09/21/11 at 07:30 PM ET

barnburner13's avatar

successfully made it through another summer.  Glad to have hockey back.  I’ll take a Maker’s Mark on the rocks, thanks

Posted by barnburner13 from Fort Drum, NY on 09/21/11 at 07:44 PM ET

MOWingsfan19's avatar

‘Bout effing time.
Glad to see the Hasek is open for business and many of the usuals on board. Not sure I’ll see the game tonight, hell just knowing there’s Winged Wheels on ice makes me giddy.
#12 on the horizon.

Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 09/21/11 at 07:59 PM ET

cmk's avatar

I KNEW there was a reason I was smiling today.  Soooo, good to finally have hockey back—even pre-season games.

From the bar, I’d like a Long Island iced tea, please.  I like to get all of my alcohol in me all at once.  wink

Posted by cmk from the top part of MI on 09/21/11 at 08:09 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

I want to ensure that the 19 have a place to call home this season

VooX you magnificent bastard! Thanks for shining a light into the asylum.

I too considered retirement as a fan, but, Fuch You! Gary! Ass!

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 09/21/11 at 08:25 PM ET

cigar_nurse's avatar

Vooxie. Good to hear from you. Gimme a Crown with a Stella chaser.I would ask for a sufferin bastard but can’t remember what’s in it.  Here’s to another season with the 19 clink.

Posted by cigar_nurse from Greenville South Cakalakee on 09/21/11 at 08:33 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

Welcome back bartender.  Bitch.  Same goes for all the rest of you reprobates.  I missed you fuchers.

Our boys knees are safe for this game.  No dirty prick Orpik in the game tonight.  Wooooooooooo!

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from Where the GM likes his team. on 09/21/11 at 08:42 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

LGRW

A pint of Guinness, and keep them coming.

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 09/21/11 at 08:47 PM ET

behind the net in G.R.'s avatar

Evening 19. Let’s hope this is the last season for 10pm EST starts for Wings games.

Posted by behind the net in G.R. on 09/21/11 at 08:49 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Here’s a toast to our Master Chief.

Thanks for A2Y. We miss you. Bitch.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 09/21/11 at 08:54 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

Are we going to have to listen to the fuching morons from the Pens blow by blow team tonight?

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from Where the GM likes his team. on 09/21/11 at 08:54 PM ET

Since71's avatar

Hello 19. 

Enjoy the link and the game….

http://www.vipbox.tv/watch/8060/1/nhl-pre-season:-detroit-red-wings-vs-pittsburgh-penguins.html

Posted by Since71 from Bucharest, Romania on 09/21/11 at 08:57 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Bitter rivals?


Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 09/21/11 at 09:01 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

Bell’s Amber for me tonite.

Good to see ya all again.

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 09/21/11 at 09:02 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

EVENIN’ BITCHES !!!

Link on firstrowsports.tv is working if you need a link.  I got NHL Network on cable

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 09/21/11 at 09:03 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com