Abel to Yzerman
by IwoCPO on 03/04/12 at 05:00 PM ET
It’s hard to predict what the cause will be. It could be a playoff game, a winning streak, a playful joke played by the swaddled, babbling 8-pound, six-ounce Christ child on us, the unsuspecting innocent Wing fans (in other words, a losing streak). You just never know what’s going to prompt a Live Blog for the ages. Friday night we brought Pinky back into the fray and I think that may have lit some sort of sick fire under the 19. The result?
WestWing summed it up about midway through, and it just went downhill from here:
1) Bill would blow Wally the hairdresser, but maybe not Gator, although his daughter would.
2) Pumpkin beer sucks unless it’s filtered through a homeless drunk’s ass.
3) Calquake is the perfect antidote to that not-so-fresh feeling (i.e. when you smell like a homeless drunk’s ass)
4) Hudler goes both ways, and has apparently become really damn good at it.
5) Alcohol is a helluva drug.
Why do I think references to homeless drunks’ asses are going to become the norm? Absolutely classic work. Bravo to every one of you. Anyone who doesn’t find that funny can just go ahead and suck it. But don’t leave because we’d like to make fun of you for the next several hours.
On to today. Baby brother’s in town and we haven’t beaten that little bitch in Detroit in like two years. That is disgusting and it must end. Today. If the playoffs started this evening?
We’d get San Jose. That’s a whole other topic, an entire series of posts that would range from obscene overconfidence to gun-in-the-mouth pessimism. But, with a loose puck here or a beer aerated through the crack of a homeless man’s ass there, it could easily be the Cawks in the first round.
The wary among us would say that’s a bad matchup, the talented, young Hawks with the “strong core”. The rest of us, actually all of us really, would say Chicago’s goaltending is so frigging bad that we’d go all Raylen Givens on their asses to the tune of 5 games. Max.
But that’s April. Jesus. Just typing that reminded me the playoffs are only a month away.
Fuccchhhhhh….ahhhh well. It’s a Live Blog, bitches.
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Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977. No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y. Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation. There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature. Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: email@example.com