Abel to Yzerman
by VooX on 07/30/10 at 09:15 PM ET
Many big things have happened the past week and a bit. Let’s get straight to the chase, bitches, grab a drink because here we go.
If you haven’t been checking out our friend Animal Drew at Nightmare On Helm Street this summer, shame on you. Not only has he been keeping us updated on important Wings developments on the Gore, more on that later, but he’s also been hard at work kicking sand in the faces of Junior’s bandwagon.
In an epic, and wonderfully sadistic, series of summer posts he’s been detailing the roster demolition in Chicago. The culmination of his work is this post describing the “Fire Sale” in Chicago.
My highlight? This wrap-up:
To bring our total net difference in points for Chicago at -134 points.
Epic stuff. Remember when people in Chicago laughed at us when they “stole” Kopecky? Now he is Junior’s saviour. Laugh hard at your belly on this one, and it is not even over. The Emperor offers us this story:
If the arbitrator decides Niemi’s worth much more than $3 million a year, Bowman may have no choice but to walk away from the decision…
There are rumors the ‘Hawks will accept the decision and then try and trade Niemi so they don’t end up losing a top asset without getting anything back in return… any team dealing with the Blackhawks… will know they’ve got the team over a barrel and will be offering little in return.
Game, set, match, bandwagon. We’ll be hearing from them in another 40 years.
Then a few things got me thinking, and I wasn’t so gleeful anymore. Not surprisingly, it started with something showoff blogger, George Malik, posted last week:
Subjective fans like me don’t give a rat’s arse as to whether these “lifetime contracts” allow big-market teams to supposedly gain an unfair advantage on their smaller-market bretheren… Devellano points out that Red Wings GM Ken Holland did not break any rules when he signed Henrik Zetterberg and Johan Franzen to 12 and 10-year contracts, respectively, and Devellano had a similar reaction to the one that most Wings fans did when they found out that the team would keep Henrik Zetterberg in red and white for the rest of his career:
“I gave [Holland] a big hug.”
Fans have every right to want names and faces to invest in emotionally and to invest in via their merchandise and ticket-purchasing bucks, faces that they know will remain with their favorite team for the long haul, and in that respect, that’s where Gary Bettman and the NHL got their concept of roster-destabilizing parity and a CBA which forces even the best-managed teams to place key contributors’ customized jerseys on the clearance rack on a daily basis. It doesn’t build the brand on a market-by-market basis, and it doesn’t “sell” the dedicated one-team fan on sacrificing roster continuity and winning bang for their buck for the sake of the “good of the game.”
To hell with that. I want my Red Wings to win, and I want my Red Wings to not turn over their entire roster every three years.
Hell yes. George is 100% right. Fans don’t care how it is done, all we care is that the guys we love to watch play on our team stay if they want to. But Li’l Gary doesn’t care about the fans. Which is why he loves the salary cap.
Imagine for a minute we were in Chicago’s position in the mid-90’s. After more than four decades of suckage, we finally get a taste of victory, and our team is snatched from us immediately afterwards. It sucks. Which is just how Li’l Gary wants it.
One of sports’ great athletes retired this week. Muttiah Muralitharan was arguably the best cricket bowler in history. His stats certainly put him at the top of the list. In North America, we’ve heard nothing about his retirement, but trust me when I say the man was fearsome to face. With marathon endurance (matches can take 5 days to complete in cricket), Muralitharin was constantly on the attack, and recorded the most wickets (like a strikeout) in the sport’s history.
The most interesting thing about Murali’s incredible career is not his stats nor his accomplishments, but rather that he spent most of it under a dark cloud of controversy. Muralitharin was born with near inhuman flexibility in his wrist, which was the cause of his devastating delivery while bowling. Despite years of success, Murali was constantly being accused of having an illegal delivery for an off-spinning wrist bowler.
It got so bad, eventually scientists at the University of Western Australia studied his delivery under laboratory conditions and determined… Muralitharin’s delivery exceeded the allowable elbow extension of 5°. End of story? Science wins the day? Not quite.
Controversy ensued, and Muralitharin’s delivery was subjected to a total of four scientific studies. Eventually it was determined that not only was his delivery legal, but most spinning bowlers exceeded the allowable elbow extension of 5°, prompting the rules of cricket to be changed to allow up to 15° of extension.
The moral of this story? Allowing ANALysis of this kind in any sport, be it for delivery of balls or salary-cap technicalities, ruins the sport as it was intended to be played; on the playing field and not in the courtrooms. Once again, Li’l Gary’s legal proceedings (Kovalchuk) will be center-stage over the summer ruining any NHL coverage for all of us. Thanks, Gary. Ass.
One last thing before I disappear again. Animal Drew at NOHS was good enough to tell us about a major retirement in the Wings’ blogosphere. Chris Hollis of Motown Wings has announced his retirement. Known for his blogging, podcasting on The Obstructed View, and having a bitching beard, Hollis will be missed by Wings fans everywhere on the Gore. Good luck, Hollis, keep in touch.
In other news, Tyler from The Triple Deke visited Canada recently. Having never seen The Godfather, Tyler was not aware the significance this package sent to him from Maple Leafs fans had:
That’s right, bitches, Triple Deke Tyler sleeps with the fishes. Blame Canada.
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Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977. No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y. Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation. There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature. Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: email@example.com