Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Off Day Digging

A little ditty to start your day. St. Louis, everyone’s favorite October badass?  Well, they built that first-month-of-the-season record on the shoulders of an East-heavy slate.  The Blues are a nifty 5-0 against the other conference, but 4-5-2 against the West, where the men play.  And against the Central? Make that 2-3-2.  Mediocre. Middling. St. Louis.

Oh, and the Wings are 3-0 against the Central and haven’t had a chance to sample the Eastern fare as of yet.

Greg Wyshynski is wondering where you are.

The Campaign: Started by Red Wings blog Winging It In Motown on Facebook and slowly spreading through message boards. Will the rabble-rousers on Abel To Yzerman get on the bandwagon?

Greg’s talking about the All Star Game and a certain goaltender left off the ballot with a way to rectify that.  If JJ and the boys over at WiM want to lead that charge, have at it.  My interest in Gary’s suckfest has bottomed out.  SYF put it well yesterday…

After the way Gary.Ass shafted Lidstrom and Datsyuk in ‘08?

F*ck Gary.ASSG.

Posted by SYF from Las Vegas, NV on 11/17/10 at 04:35 PM ET

The All Star game is a joke, just like the league that stages it.  I prefer to ignore the fact that a former Wing who probably used to rip Bettman as much as us is now in bed with him.  It sickens me and I’ve elected to pretend it’s not true. I hum to myself or I pretend I’m a Blues fan and finger paint with my own or other kids’ feces.  Vote for the Wings if you’d like to and I get it if you do.  Double vote.  Triple vote.  Quint…vote five times.  The league allows it and even prompts you to “vote again”. 

I’ll be hoping for rest, though.  Lots of it.  And, hey, the Wings don’t have a single player in the top 20 in scoring…yet they’re the best team in hockey and everyone knows it.  All Star Game?  No thank you. No need.  Suck it, please.

Back to Wysh’s original point and the suggested write-in candidacy of Jim Howard?  Yeah.  Not a shock, is it?  Who are the goalies on the ballot?  18 of them. 9 from each Conference.  Forget the East.  As usual, they don’t matter.  As for the West?  Niemi, Kipper, Bryzgalov, Khabibulin, Rinni, Luongo, Quick, Little Andie and Backstrom.  Fuch your write-in campaign Gary.  Seriously.  It’s not worth my time to participate in a jungle gym bullshit exercise that is so obviously tainted and flawed.  Ask 7, even 8, of those goalies’ GMs if they’d rather have Howard or their own goaltender.  Oh, and Gary? No one has more wins since last year’s bullshit game.  No one in the West has more wins this year.  Howard’s 10-1-1.  Quick’s 10-2 and deserves every ounce of credit he’s getting.  A great twelve game season, so far.  His inclusion on the ballot, though?  That has to be based on last year’s performance.  Right, Gary?  39 wins in 72 starts (Howard: 37 in 63), a .907 save percentage (.924) and a 2.54 GAA (2.26). 

Oh, and you know Halak’s on there. Maybe he can participate in the new “own goal” contest brought to you by “Ass.G…the new short, fat and stupid clothing line and official sponsor of NHL headquarters”.

Write this in Gary:  you need to go, little fella. 

Hey.  Let’s check in with a real NHL Insider and see what he has to tell us this fantastic Thursday.

The Blackhawks are in trouble.

The defending Stanley Cup champs are already in seventh place in the Western Conference — and due to a quirk in the schedule, they’ve already played 3-5 more games than most of the other teams in the conference.

That’s Teddy Kulfan and he blew the lid off baby brother’s rent-a-Cup woes.  Here’s a newsflash for you Teddy.  Those Hawks will finish higher than the fake Blues we saw last night.

And Teddy, since you’re going all Insider on us…ever heard of Tyler Dellow, Colin Campbell, who has a son?  No?  K.  Just checking, since you’re an “insider” and all.

image

Guralnick drew that picture for us.

Dan(ny) Cleary has goals in fifty-eight consecutive games.  No. He doesn’t.  But he’s getting there.  And he’s digging it.

Kulfan

“Good things are happening.”

Yep.  Goals in six straight.  Playing on a great line for a team that has all four lines absolutely rolling right now.  Like half this roster, Cleary is flourishing on a team that promotes success up and down the lineup.  It’s how Mike Babcock built this system and how Tick Tock Kenny Holland has stocked the cupboard.  Bertuzzi’s renaissance as a killer and a power forward with hands and defensive thirst.  Drew Miller’s prowess on the 4th line and in the PK.  Brad Stuart’s reliability (“he could have played 30 years ago”: Redmond).  The list of players on this team who can say “good things are happening” goes on and on.  But, Cleary?  It’s time to remind you why he’s been given the name “Charlie Buckets”.

Dan Cleary, the boy with the golden ticket.  Wandering the streets of dreary whatevertownBucketsgrewupin, not wanting to go home because Grampa Joe wasn’t getting out of bed and yet another dinner of disgusting thick tasteless soup awaited him.  A sparkle in the gutter, a silver dollar.  That money could feed his family for a week!  Oh, the turmoil.  Tasty Wonka chocolate and a chance at a trip every child in the world was hoping for, or food on the Bucket table.  Screw it.  Grabbed it. Bought the bar. Ripped it open. Golden Ticket. Hell yes.

That’s from the Glossary, and that brings up this point: I need to update that biotch.  And soon.  But I need your help.  Let me know what you think should be in there and I’ll try to get it updated before the Big Cruise.  Just drop a name or phrase in the comment section and I’ll pull out the Juvenilicious Dictionary and get working.

And “panda” better be included.  But someone’s gonna have to explain it to me, because you bastards lost me with that one.

Enjoy your Thursday, bitches. 

 

 

 

 

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Comments

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WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

So if calling Crosby a crybaby indicates that you know nothing about hockey I guess that means the only real hockey fans are Penguins fans. Nice logic there.

Crosby is a crying 5 year old. Get over it. He has no compsure. Deal with it. He’s not Captain material. That’s truth. He should change his name to Rosby he doesn’t deserve the C that much.

Posted by Max from Minneapolis on 06/07/09 at 10:47 AM ET

Is this worthy?

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from where free agents no longer dare. on 11/18/10 at 02:47 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Chief, you sent me an e-mail last night which I have inadvertantly deleted before resding.  Please send it again so I have your e-mail address as that was lost when my computer crashed recently.  Thanks.

Also, anyboby else worried about the player-go-round once Drapes is back?  Two players will have to be healthy scratches for every game.  A “good” problem but a problem nonetheless.

Posted by calquake on 11/18/10 at 02:56 PM ET

Guilherme's avatar

On further review, the original ruling of epic fail is overturned, since you obviously had “intent to comment “.  Please accept our consolation prize of the deluxe home edition of “A2Y: The Board Game”

Posted by dougie on 01/05/10 at 06:52 AM ET

http://www.kuklaskorner.com/index.php/a2y/comments/see_dick_brought_us_luck_hank_and_buckets_back_this_week/P50/

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 11/18/10 at 02:56 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Chief, you sent me an e-mail last night which I have inadvertantly deleted before resding.  Please send it again so I have your e-mail address as that was lost when my computer crashed recently.  Thanks.
Also, anyboby else worried about the player-go-round once Drapes is back?  Two players will have to be healthy scratches for every game.  A “good” problem but a problem nonetheless.
Posted by calquake on 11/18/10 at 12:56 PM

Cal did you get the email I sent you, chief, gabe, et al this morning? Chief’s email address should be in the header

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 11/18/10 at 02:58 PM ET

MOWingsfan19's avatar

Pharmacist.

Posted by MOWingsfan19 from I really like our team on 11/18/10 at 02:58 PM ET

calquake's avatar

“reading”  but I am a product of the public school system.

Posted by calquake on 11/18/10 at 02:58 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

JJ definitely gave birth to the panda and also followed it up with a memorable remark after Happy got back in the lineup and showed some signs of coming out of his slump.  I’m paraphrasing here, but I believe it was something to the effect of Hudler getting lubed up and ready to “go to town” on some panda soon.

A few others of us took this and ran with it.  In my book it’s sort of a metaphor for good play on the ice, particularly “scoring” if you’ll pardon the pun.  As in “boy oh boy that Danny Cleary sure is drilling the ole panda lately”.

Totally non-family-friendly, utterly obscene and completely juvenile.  Therefore it’s also totally worthy of a glossary entry.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 11/18/10 at 03:00 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Thanks Capt’n.  Just checked it.  I have to decide, the better half were going to go up to our cabin but it’s supposed to rain so I’ll make a decision and e-mail Chief.

Posted by calquake on 11/18/10 at 03:02 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Posted by Max from Minneapolis on 06/07/09 at 10:47 AM ET

Truth- Max from Minneapolis deserves recognition.

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 11/18/10 at 03:09 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

I thought it was changed to Bandwagon of Bitches after the Grand Rapids guy went nuts.

All you people ruin this site

[T]his is not a hockey blog, rather it is more like a “clique” from a corner table in… a all girls high school lunch room. Dont listen to these fools

We’ve been taking on a lot of “friendly fire” here.  These dudes are Michigan guys and Wings fans.  The unlikeliest of trolls.  WTF?

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 11/18/10 at 03:12 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

More potential sidebar material:

You guys are all a bunch of incorrigible reprobates with almost no redeeming qualities.
Good thing you’re lovable enough for me to keep hanging around. 
Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 12/30/09 at 05:52 PM ET


And speaking of bone bruises…didn’t Rosby have one of those in Game 6 of the 2008 SCF?  In the back of his throat?
Posted by Sullyosis from A hateful lair in Post Apocalyptic US (or Arizona) on 12/15/09 at 07:14 PM ET

Not possible - a uvula is boneless.
Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 12/15/09 at 07:17 PM ET

bone bruise =/= bruise from a boner
Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 12/15/09 at 08:16 PM ET

You are definitely missed in the LBs, Miss B.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 11/18/10 at 03:15 PM ET

monkey's avatar

I did not stake out a political position; I neither endorsed or criticized conservatism. But It is all over teh web that ballot stuffing for Bristol is taking place because ABC’s DWTS web balloting does not verify emails. I thought we could get Jimmy on her coat tails.

I see, I see.  But, that story lends itself to the the obvious “Republicans stuffing the ballot box?  You’re shitting me” comment and it’s all downhill from there.

I’m far from perfect- I attempted to argue that Malkin wasn’t an instigator and I’ve dabbled on the edges of nearly political discussions here, but I think it’s important to nip this shit in the bud, regardless of intent.  It’s nothing personal and it was not my intent to accuse you of anything.  Truce?

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 11/18/10 at 03:16 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

We’ve been taking on a lot of “friendly fire” here.  These dudes are Michigan guys and Wings fans.  The unlikeliest of trolls.  WTF?
Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 11/18/10 at 01:12 PM

Therre has been a lot of “friendly fire” this season.  grin

http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/7434831/

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 11/18/10 at 03:19 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Cleary really is drilling the panda right now.  I love this site.

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 11/18/10 at 03:19 PM ET

monkey's avatar

done

Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 11/18/10 at 12:21 PM ET

Awesome.  Excellent selection by the way.

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 11/18/10 at 03:21 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

I’m far from perfect- I attempted to argue that Malkin wasn’t an instigator and I’ve dabbled on the edges of nearly political discussions here, but I think it’s important to nip this shit in the bud, regardless of intent.  It’s nothing personal and it was not my intent to accuse you of anything.  Truce?
Posted by monkey from bat country on 11/18/10 at 01:16 PM ET

Truce? Absolutely. But intent matters and I honestly wasn’t trying to start anything political, just incorporating something timely from the news.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 11/18/10 at 03:24 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Warm and sunny SoCal on 11/18/10 at 01:24 PM ET

I know.  I’m overreacting.  Let’s change the subject, shall we?  Pandas!  Who likes pandas?

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 11/18/10 at 03:37 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Therre has been a lot of “friendly fire” this season. 

http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/7434831/

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Warm and sunny SoCal on 11/18/10 at 01:19 PM ET

Ah yes, yet another classic moment…

Oh and by the way, that “Pure Michigan” road contruction youtube piece you posted last night had me shitting myself with laughter.  Having been back in Detroit last month I can report that some things never change.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 11/18/10 at 03:40 PM ET

Alzy's avatar

I don’t know for sure if I started it, but I was among the first to call Jimmy Howard JIMMAH~!. My original reasoning was because I thought he looked and played like Timmy from South Park. But then it changed into a tribute whenever he makes a big save, because he does make me holler with joy. Jimmah Saves I don’t know the origin of, I just consider it a stick tap to the song Jesus Saves by Slayer.

Dangle-Dangle.

Willa’s Wife.

Gator, Home Keys, Yabadabadoo.

Eaves’d yourself- in honour of Larry Eaves’ comically awful shootout attempt last season.

Shinebox.

That’s all I can think of right now.

Let’s Go Red Wings(exclamation point)

Posted by Alzy from Cambridge, Ontario, Canada on 11/18/10 at 03:54 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Will the rabble-rousers on Abel To Yzerman get on the bandwagon?


Rabble-rousers?

: one that stirs up (as to hatred or violence) the masses of the people.

We’ve been called worse. Bitches.


Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 11/18/10 at 03:57 PM ET

J.J. from Kansas's avatar

I’m gonna go rouse some rabble SO FUCHING HARD!

Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 11/18/10 at 04:12 PM ET

rrasco's avatar

New at 5, Ritola suspended two for charging.

http://www.nhl.com/ice/news.htm?id=543879

Video:
http://video.nhl.com/videocenter/console?catid=35&id=83471

Borderline, but suspension worthy?

Posted by rrasco from TEXAS on 11/18/10 at 04:33 PM ET

Primis's avatar

I genuinely hope not a single Wing makes the ASG.

You want a campaign?  Here you go 19, how about a campaign for Wings fans to vote in anyone who is NOT a Wing, so our boys can sit at home and relax while some schmucks from other teams have to pretend to be excited at losing a couple of days off to play a meaningless game whose Nielsens will be somewhere between ” ‘Allo, ‘Allo” on PBS and “Prime Minister’s Questions” on CSPAN.

Sadly, it won’t matter, because the NHL picks most of the players now after the 6 starters.  So you just know Dats, Z, TPH are probably locks.  Maybe The Franzen, maybe Stuart… and maybe even Danny Boy if he keeps this up.  And they’ll all be double- or triple-shifted, and all be participating in every single dumb skills competition Gary’s buddies can come up with to try and get them tired and/or hurt.


As for the LackHawks… as much as they’re wallowing now, don’t they still have the annual Circus Trip up soon too?  Yeah, have fun with that.


As for the Blues, I said in the LB thread that they’re not ready for the playoffs.  They’re friggin’ children out there and it showed last night.

Posted by Primis on 11/18/10 at 04:39 PM ET

PaulinMiamiBeach's avatar

Borderline, but suspension worthy?

what, exactly, is borderline about it?  he left his feet and hit the guy square in the numbers.  textbook boarding, and checking from behind.  now…about the “would” not the “should” of the suspension…if the name on the back of his jersey were one anyone outside of Tampa or Detroit would know, then the suspension would be lighter or non-existent.

it’s how the NHL rolls.

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 11/18/10 at 04:43 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Gary.Ass looks at his annual suckfest as exactly that, Chief:  “Which young and upcoming player do I want to give me a *#$%@& so I can guarantee them a Cup?”

During the Shanahan summit, VooX reported on something I thought was just about the most hilarious thing I never saw pictures of but the image in my head lasts forever in the way he reported it (and I greatly miss that Tarbender asshat).  I can’t find it now but he sort of wrote that Gary.Ass was at the Wings table leaning in and trying to listen in as Nill and Holland were conversing like he was trying to intrude in on a conversation he thinks he should be privileged to.  Or in another context, he’s like that kid in the cafeteria trying to sneakily get into the hushed conversation Nill and Holland were having.  I chuckled like The Mickey.

‘08 is the last year I voted in the ASG.  As I’ve said later yesterday, I much prefer that the Wings use that long weekend for some extended and well-deserved R&R.  The remainder of the season looks very tough and given the way the extra month of rest has rejuvenated the legs of Lidstrom, Datsyuk, Bertuzzi(!), Cleary, et. al, I highly prefer that ALL of the Wings’ candidates to just don’t go.

Posted by SYF from Alana Blanchard's Bikinis and Surfboards on 11/18/10 at 04:48 PM ET

rrasco's avatar

what, exactly, is borderline about it?  he left his feet and hit the guy square in the numbers.  textbook boarding, and checking from behind.

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 11/18/10 at 02:43 PM ET

I’ll give you that, but they called it charging.  Initially, I didn’t think it was bad at all.  Boarding or checking from behind, ok, because he did drive him into the boards and we’ve seen less called for boarding, but charging?  I guess I’m hesitant because I see worse hits every game, which just goes to prove your point even more.

Posted by rrasco from TEXAS on 11/18/10 at 04:57 PM ET

PaulinMiamiBeach's avatar

I’ll give you that, but they called it charging.  Initially, I didn’t think it was bad at all.  Boarding or checking from behind, ok, because he did drive him into the boards and we’ve seen less called for boarding, but charging?  I guess I’m hesitant because I see worse hits every game, which just goes to prove your point even more.

Posted by rrasco from TEXAS on 11/18/10 at 02:57 PM ET

in yet another example of how poorly the NHL is run, especially the officiating, there is a very fine line between boarding, charging, and checking from behind.  many (most?) calls that are one of them could also be one of the other two.  it depends on the whim of the ref.

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 11/18/10 at 05:00 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Jimmah’s save at the end of the 1st last night made Sports Center’s #2 play of the day.

Who would of thought?


Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 11/18/10 at 05:02 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Jimmah’s save at the end of the 1st last night made Sports Center’s #2 play of the day.
Who would of thought?
Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!
Posted by Kate from Pa. on 11/18/10 at 03:02 PM ET

What’s Sports Center?

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 11/18/10 at 05:10 PM ET

J.J. from Kansas's avatar

What’s Sports Center?

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Warm and sunny SoCal on 11/18/10 at 03:10 PM ET

It’s the worst candy bar ever.

Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 11/18/10 at 05:17 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

  So if calling Crosby a crybaby indicates that you know nothing about hockey I guess that means the only real hockey fans are Penguins fans. Nice logic there.

  Crosby is a crying 5 year old. Get over it. He has no composure. Deal with it. He’s not Captain material. That’s truth. He should change his name to Rosby he doesn’t deserve the C that much.

  Posted by Max from Minneapolis on 06/07/09 at 10:47 AM ET

Is this worthy?

this right here, if not already included, is a must in my minds eye.

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 11/18/10 at 05:17 PM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

...intent matters and I honestly wasn’t trying to start anything political, just incorporating something timely from the news.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich

now you are starting to sound like, Charles Rangel at his House ethics trial today.

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 11/18/10 at 05:24 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

What’s Sports Center?

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Warm and sunny SoCal on 11/18/10 at 03:10 PM ET

One of the three programs Little Jack is allowed to watch.

#1. Sesame Street
#2. Wonder Pets
#3. Sports(center).

Yea, my life has changed. It’s come full circle. Back to the future. Bitches.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 11/18/10 at 05:27 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

now you are starting to sound like, Charles Rangel at his House ethics trial today.
Posted by TheRealYooper on 11/18/10 at 03:24 PM

I’m leaving. Bye.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 11/18/10 at 05:34 PM ET

Twig's avatar

a list of all of bert’s aliases would be cool. each one is awesome, but i laugh every time he’s called saddam.

could also use an explanation of the sarcasm font.

Posted by Twig from Houston, TX on 11/18/10 at 05:37 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Posted by TheRealYooper on 11/18/10 at 03:24 PM ET

That’s uncalled for.

I’m leaving. Bye.

God damn it.

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 11/18/10 at 05:38 PM ET

monkey's avatar

This is supposed to be an appy occasion.  Let’s not bicker and argue about oo killed oo.

Posted by monkey from Praha, Česká republika on 11/18/10 at 05:41 PM ET

Modnar's avatar

Does Gramps have a glossary entry? If not he should.

Posted by Modnar on 11/18/10 at 05:45 PM ET

Guilherme's avatar

Does Gramps have a glossary entry? If not he should.

Agreed. I vote for the two goal shit.

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 11/18/10 at 05:50 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

This is supposed to be an appy occasion.  Let’s not bicker and argue about oo killed oo.
Posted by monkey from bat country on 11/18/10 at 03:41 PM

I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 11/18/10 at 05:52 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com