Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

Off Day Digging

A little ditty to start your day. St. Louis, everyone’s favorite October badass?  Well, they built that first-month-of-the-season record on the shoulders of an East-heavy slate.  The Blues are a nifty 5-0 against the other conference, but 4-5-2 against the West, where the men play.  And against the Central? Make that 2-3-2.  Mediocre. Middling. St. Louis.

Oh, and the Wings are 3-0 against the Central and haven’t had a chance to sample the Eastern fare as of yet.

Greg Wyshynski is wondering where you are.

The Campaign: Started by Red Wings blog Winging It In Motown on Facebook and slowly spreading through message boards. Will the rabble-rousers on Abel To Yzerman get on the bandwagon?

Greg’s talking about the All Star Game and a certain goaltender left off the ballot with a way to rectify that.  If JJ and the boys over at WiM want to lead that charge, have at it.  My interest in Gary’s suckfest has bottomed out.  SYF put it well yesterday…

After the way Gary.Ass shafted Lidstrom and Datsyuk in ‘08?

F*ck Gary.ASSG.

Posted by SYF from Las Vegas, NV on 11/17/10 at 04:35 PM ET

The All Star game is a joke, just like the league that stages it.  I prefer to ignore the fact that a former Wing who probably used to rip Bettman as much as us is now in bed with him.  It sickens me and I’ve elected to pretend it’s not true. I hum to myself or I pretend I’m a Blues fan and finger paint with my own or other kids’ feces.  Vote for the Wings if you’d like to and I get it if you do.  Double vote.  Triple vote.  Quint…vote five times.  The league allows it and even prompts you to “vote again”. 

I’ll be hoping for rest, though.  Lots of it.  And, hey, the Wings don’t have a single player in the top 20 in scoring…yet they’re the best team in hockey and everyone knows it.  All Star Game?  No thank you. No need.  Suck it, please.

Back to Wysh’s original point and the suggested write-in candidacy of Jim Howard?  Yeah.  Not a shock, is it?  Who are the goalies on the ballot?  18 of them. 9 from each Conference.  Forget the East.  As usual, they don’t matter.  As for the West?  Niemi, Kipper, Bryzgalov, Khabibulin, Rinni, Luongo, Quick, Little Andie and Backstrom.  Fuch your write-in campaign Gary.  Seriously.  It’s not worth my time to participate in a jungle gym bullshit exercise that is so obviously tainted and flawed.  Ask 7, even 8, of those goalies’ GMs if they’d rather have Howard or their own goaltender.  Oh, and Gary? No one has more wins since last year’s bullshit game.  No one in the West has more wins this year.  Howard’s 10-1-1.  Quick’s 10-2 and deserves every ounce of credit he’s getting.  A great twelve game season, so far.  His inclusion on the ballot, though?  That has to be based on last year’s performance.  Right, Gary?  39 wins in 72 starts (Howard: 37 in 63), a .907 save percentage (.924) and a 2.54 GAA (2.26). 

Oh, and you know Halak’s on there. Maybe he can participate in the new “own goal” contest brought to you by “Ass.G…the new short, fat and stupid clothing line and official sponsor of NHL headquarters”.

Write this in Gary:  you need to go, little fella. 

Hey.  Let’s check in with a real NHL Insider and see what he has to tell us this fantastic Thursday.

The Blackhawks are in trouble.

The defending Stanley Cup champs are already in seventh place in the Western Conference — and due to a quirk in the schedule, they’ve already played 3-5 more games than most of the other teams in the conference.

That’s Teddy Kulfan and he blew the lid off baby brother’s rent-a-Cup woes.  Here’s a newsflash for you Teddy.  Those Hawks will finish higher than the fake Blues we saw last night.

And Teddy, since you’re going all Insider on us…ever heard of Tyler Dellow, Colin Campbell, who has a son?  No?  K.  Just checking, since you’re an “insider” and all.

image

Guralnick drew that picture for us.

Dan(ny) Cleary has goals in fifty-eight consecutive games.  No. He doesn’t.  But he’s getting there.  And he’s digging it.

Kulfan

“Good things are happening.”

Yep.  Goals in six straight.  Playing on a great line for a team that has all four lines absolutely rolling right now.  Like half this roster, Cleary is flourishing on a team that promotes success up and down the lineup.  It’s how Mike Babcock built this system and how Tick Tock Kenny Holland has stocked the cupboard.  Bertuzzi’s renaissance as a killer and a power forward with hands and defensive thirst.  Drew Miller’s prowess on the 4th line and in the PK.  Brad Stuart’s reliability (“he could have played 30 years ago”: Redmond).  The list of players on this team who can say “good things are happening” goes on and on.  But, Cleary?  It’s time to remind you why he’s been given the name “Charlie Buckets”.

Dan Cleary, the boy with the golden ticket.  Wandering the streets of dreary whatevertownBucketsgrewupin, not wanting to go home because Grampa Joe wasn’t getting out of bed and yet another dinner of disgusting thick tasteless soup awaited him.  A sparkle in the gutter, a silver dollar.  That money could feed his family for a week!  Oh, the turmoil.  Tasty Wonka chocolate and a chance at a trip every child in the world was hoping for, or food on the Bucket table.  Screw it.  Grabbed it. Bought the bar. Ripped it open. Golden Ticket. Hell yes.

That’s from the Glossary, and that brings up this point: I need to update that biotch.  And soon.  But I need your help.  Let me know what you think should be in there and I’ll try to get it updated before the Big Cruise.  Just drop a name or phrase in the comment section and I’ll pull out the Juvenilicious Dictionary and get working.

And “panda” better be included.  But someone’s gonna have to explain it to me, because you bastards lost me with that one.

Enjoy your Thursday, bitches. 

 

 

 

 

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Comments

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Chris in Hockey Hell's avatar

Anyone else happen to see that Yahoo(!) has a story up about TPH this morning?

Posted by Chris in Hockey Hell from Ann Arbor, MI but LIVING in Columbia, TN on 11/18/10 at 01:29 PM ET

w2j2's avatar

Modano is floating…...He needs to go to the net and hit somebody.

Posted by w2j2 on 11/18/10 at 01:33 PM ET

J.J. from Kansas's avatar

And “panda” better be included.  But someone’s gonna have to explain it to me, because you bastards lost me with that one.

I was talking about Hudler getting all the chances he needed to succeed and wanted to use a cliche, but before I knew it, I had typed this out:

“You can lead a panda to pussy, but you can’t make it fuch.”

My mother is very proud of me.

Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 11/18/10 at 01:36 PM ET

calquake's avatar

It’s not worth my time to participate in a jungle gym bullshit exercise that is so obviously tainted and flawed.

That there is poetry Chief.  Brings a tear to my eye.

Posted by calquake on 11/18/10 at 01:37 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

The Serial Killer needs to be added to the stillwoozi entry.

Band of Bitches deserves something. Somebody round these here parts has a photochop to go along with that one too.

Might not hurt to explain “little brother” either.

As for Jimmy, he absolutely deserves the recognition that goes with being an all-star. But I’ll be damned if I’m going to waste my time on a sham vote for an exhibition game that takes itself to seriously while simultaneously putting him in jeopardy of a suspension if he happens to have a bruise that needs to be rehabbed over the break.

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 11/18/10 at 01:40 PM ET

J.J. from Kansas's avatar

Also, I’ll let everybody else worry about the All Star vote.  I’m happy to watch it, but I wouldn’t mind if there are no Wings there.  Exhibitions and skill games are fun to watch, but they’re not worth making my guys travel for during a grueling regular season.

Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 11/18/10 at 01:40 PM ET

hockeychic's avatar

Just in case you haven’t had enough of it..

Halak bats in a goal

Posted by hockeychic from Denver, CO on 11/18/10 at 01:45 PM ET

HockeyTownTodd's avatar

The 19 are just a bunch of Red Wing fans that were bored with MENSA.

“Gramps, sometime last summer while you were away

Posted by HockeyTownTodd on 11/18/10 at 01:52 PM ET

Guilherme's avatar

To the glossary, Serial Killer (and the other ones, “Manson”, Antichrist, Keanu Reeves”) is a must.

Also, throw some Pinky in there.

And not to be egotistical, but March 26th 2010 needs to be there, as Mar 11th ‘11 and March Xth 20-forever.

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 11/18/10 at 01:55 PM ET

Guilherme's avatar

Band of Bitches deserves something. Somebody round these here parts has a photochop to go along with that one too.

I thought it was changed to Bandwagon of Bitches after the Grand Rapids guy went nuts.

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 11/18/10 at 01:58 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

I don’t remember when it was, but I coined the 19 as my Band of Bitches.

I felt I was honoring those brave souls from Easy Company who jumped out of perfectly good airplanes, in foreign lands, to ensure that generations beyond would enjoy the freedoms that the founders of this country created.

Gramps didn’t think of it that way.

I believe Herm 2 Hockeytown should be a mandatory inductee.

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from Where the GM likes his team. on 11/18/10 at 02:06 PM ET

perfection's avatar

Anyone else happen to see that Yahoo(!) has a story up about TPH this morning?

I did. Yahoo is my homepage and there it was front and center. ‘The Perfect Human’. I got a great screen grab of it that I’d love to post but I just don’t know how to post pics on here.

It is interesting though after the conversation yesterday regarding Lids upcoming 7th Norris. The media is starting to notice. He’s totally winning it this year.

Speaking of TPH and winning… I was just having a conversation with someone yesterday that the best part about how good Lids is playing is that it almost ensures he will come back for another year. But the one thing, besides injuries, that could sway him towards retirement would be winning the cup. It’s weird to think in those terms, but I definitely could see him him holding up the cup one last time and then calling it quits whereas if they get knocked out, he remains hungry for one last shot.

Not that I don’t want to win the cup. But I really don’t want to lose Lidstrom. I know it’s got to happen someday… oh man, I think I’m starting to tear up and go fetal. Life after Lidstrom….. dear God

Posted by perfection from LaLaLand on 11/18/10 at 02:12 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Giggle moment of the day… “AVS FANS CALLED OUT” over on the main page.

Posted by calquake on 11/18/10 at 02:12 PM ET

HockeyTownTodd's avatar

The All Star game is a joke, just like the league that stages it.

I’ve been ignoring the All Star game (and not voting) for 30 yrs, but it never really started to piss me off until Dats and TPH were suspended at the last minute with some new made up rule.

I prefer to ignore the fact that a former Wing who probably used to rip Bettman as much as us is now in bed with him.

Ignoring is probably a good move since he may wind up in charge after Campbell resigns to spend more time with his family, and they take Bettman out back and shoot him.

from the category “other former Wings, compromised after moving to the big apple”

Immediately following his retirement in 1985, Campbell joined the Red Wings coaching staff under head coach Jacques Demers. During the 1988 Stanley Cup Playoffs, Campbell and assistant general manager Neil Smith discovered several Red Wings players, including Bob Probert and Petr Klima, out past curfew . The incident occurred at a suburban Edmonton bar called “Goose Loonies”, and led to an apology being issued by Demers. Campbell left the Red Wings after the dismissal of Demers in 1990.

Posted by HockeyTownTodd on 11/18/10 at 02:14 PM ET

Bent's avatar

Nothing about the BBBB’s in there?  That’s one that would confuse me if I hadn’t seen the original post in that series of rivalry threads (which I don’t think were ever finished, sadly.)

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 11/18/10 at 02:20 PM ET

kcameron's avatar

“Redolent”

Posted by kcameron from Portland OR on 11/18/10 at 02:24 PM ET

perfection's avatar

seriously… everyone needs to read this Yahoo tribute to TPH. it’s downright moving.

TPH story

Posted by perfection from LaLaLand on 11/18/10 at 02:25 PM ET

Red Winger's avatar

I hum to myself or I pretend I’m a Blues fan and finger paint with my own or other kids’ feces

If you weren’t awake before reading this, you are now.

As Mickey would say, “Holy jumpin’!”

Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 11/18/10 at 02:27 PM ET

HockeyTownTodd's avatar

Giggle moment of the day… “AVS FANS CALLED OUT” over on the main page.
Posted by calquake on 11/18/10 at 11:12 AM ET

Thanks Cal….and worth saving:

For the third consecutive year, the Avs rank among the bottom six teams in NHL attendance, down there with Atlanta, Phoenix and those locales where people are attracted to ice only when vodka is poured over it.

Posted by HockeyTownTodd on 11/18/10 at 02:28 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Band of Bitches, sometimes known as Bandwagon of Bitches, because, you know, we’re all so fickle.

Redolent.

Also, once again I recommend all or part of the “All you people ruin this site” nonsense for the sidebar.  “Garth and the Mindless” can go in the glossary, we can say it’s the A2Y house band.

My two cents for the sidebar, verbatim:

[T]his is not a hockey blog, rather it is more like a “clique” from a corner table in… a all girls high school lunch room. Dont listen to these fools.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 11/18/10 at 02:47 PM ET

MarkK's avatar

A few things that might or might not deserve entries:

Hit me Mick.

Rent-a-cup.

The Chipmunk.

Happy.

34.7.

Rescinded suspension & intent to blow hard.

Posted by MarkK from Maryland on 11/18/10 at 02:48 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Like others here, I tend to be ambivalent to apathetic when it comes to matters of Lil’ Gary and his minions (Colie kicked to the curb, yet? Nope? What a shock!), but Jimmy deserves this, so hears my plan…

Visit every conservative website you can think of and start a rumor that Bristol Palin has a huge crush on Jimmy and that it would mean a lot to her if people would vote for Jimmy to be on the NHL All Star team.

Within a day or two, Jimmy will be the top vote getter.

Here’s a list of conservative blogs to get you started.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 11/18/10 at 02:49 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

http://www.blogs.com/topten/10-popular-conservative-blogs/

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 11/18/10 at 02:50 PM ET

jennyquarx's avatar

O/T but if you’re on Twitter, go check out the Leafs fans hashtag #LikeaLebda - I think you will be amused.

I will have to think about the glossary thing.  I know there are a million things that need to go in there.  I hope some of you pharmacists can think of them.

Posted by jennyquarx on 11/18/10 at 02:51 PM ET

monkey's avatar

seriously… everyone needs to read this Yahoo tribute to TPH. it’s downright moving.

I couldn’t get that link to work, so I’ll try my hand at posting one:

Lidstrom story

Posted by monkey from Finland on 11/18/10 at 02:57 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Warm and sunny SoCal on 11/18/10 at 11:50 AM ET

I call Shenanigans.  Politics are verboten here.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 11/18/10 at 03:06 PM ET

perfection's avatar

your right, my link didn’t seem to work for some reason.

yours does.
such a good read, thanks for fixing.

Posted by perfection from LaLaLand on 11/18/10 at 03:07 PM ET

monkey's avatar

your right, my link didn’t seem to work for some reason.

I had a hard time with it, KK kept deleting the semi-colon thereby breaking the link.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 11/18/10 at 03:10 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

I did. Yahoo is my homepage and there it was front and center. ‘The Perfect Human’. I got a great screen grab of it that I’d love to post but I just don’t know how to post pics on here.
Posted by perfection from Chicago on 11/18/10 at 11:12 AM ET

You need to have an account with an online photo hosting service like flickr or photobucket. I use photobucket because it’s free.

When you upload a pic to photobucket, it gives you the html code you need to post the pic here. If your photohosting site does not give you the html code or you want to post a pice that you see else where on the gore, go to this website  and use the image link generator. I just used that site to generate the link to it.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 11/18/10 at 03:12 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

I call Shenanigans.  Politics are verboten here.
Posted by monkey from bat country on 11/18/10 at 12:06 PM

I did not stake out a political position; I neither endorsed or criticized conservatism. But It is all over teh web that ballot stuffing for Bristol is taking place because ABC’s DWTS web balloting does not verify emails. I thought we could get Jimmy on her coat tails.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 11/18/10 at 03:17 PM ET

IwoCPO's avatar

lso, once again I recommend all or part of the “All you people ruin this site” nonsense for the sidebar.  “Garth and the Mindless” can go in the glossary, we can say it’s the A2Y house band.

My two cents for the sidebar, verbatim:

  [T]his is not a hockey blog, rather it is more like a “clique” from a corner table in… a all girls high school lunch room. Dont listen to these fools.

Posted by monkey from bat country on 11/18/10 at 11:47 AM ET

done

Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 11/18/10 at 03:21 PM ET

PaulinMiamiBeach's avatar

from Yahoo…

Despite the age of Lidstrom, this remains the Age of Lidstrom.

nice.

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 11/18/10 at 03:23 PM ET

HockeyTownTodd's avatar

I call Shenanigans.  Politics are verboten here.
Posted by monkey from bat country on 11/18/10 at 12:06 PM

How about farming...?

Posted by HockeyTownTodd on 11/18/10 at 03:29 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

I have the band of bitches picture…but I can’t get to skydrive from work.

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 11/18/10 at 03:31 PM ET

mrfluffy's avatar

The next 3 goals…

Nah…who’d want that shit haunting us?

Posted by mrfluffy from Long Beach on 11/18/10 at 03:39 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

How about farming…?
Posted by HockeyTownTodd from A. K. A. NostraGrampus on 11/18/10 at 12:29 PM

I thought TSA workers were forbidden from unionizing by the (Patriot?) Act that created TSA and Homeland Security.

Anybody else notice that former Detroit Freep digger Cotsonika wrote the TPH piece? Sure wish he would have done more of that when he was with the Freep.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 11/18/10 at 03:40 PM ET

perfection's avatar

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Warm and sunny SoCal on 11/18/10 at 12:12 PM ET

thanks. i figured you had to link to it. and couldn’t simply upload it.

well… here it is, front and center for the world:

Screen shot 2010-11-18 at 9.40.00 AM

Posted by perfection from LaLaLand on 11/18/10 at 03:41 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

http://sports.yahoo.com/nhl/news;_ylt=AhmqKWfJlM6wr6b6hJim74V7vLYF?slug=nc-lidstrom111710

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 11/18/10 at 03:44 PM ET

Sullyosis's avatar

Intent to blow is a must.  Chopper Willa?  I like that one a lot, it’s a good story to have Mike come play where he grew up after all those years.

Pheonnipeg Jetotes.  I like that one too.

Posted by Sullyosis from A hateful lair in Post Apocalyptic US (or Arizona) on 11/18/10 at 03:44 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

O/T but if you’re on Twitter, go check out the Leafs fans hashtag #LikeaLebda - I think you will be amused.

Posted by jennyquarx on 11/18/10 at 11:51 AM

There is some gold right there:

mikenumberfive: Trip over the blueline #LikeALebda lose the puck #LikeALebda pinch in at the wrong time #LikeALebda

nordberg420: #LikeaLebda take a prospects spot #LikeaLebda fan on a shitty shot #LikeaLebda soon in the pressbox Ill rot #LikeaLebda maybe a Marlies spot

betterthanadee: RT @felixpotvin: I’m an offensive d-man #LikeALebda Even though I’ve got no points #LikeALebda Also minus nine #LikeALebda Still a millionaire #LikeALebda

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from The Land of Fake Boobs and Real Nuts on 11/18/10 at 03:47 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com