Abel to Yzerman
by IwoCPO on 02/25/12 at 08:00 PM ET
And you are a man again. Yeah, you were less than that when they made you wear burgundy out in Denver. But you’re back in the midwest now, son. We don’t dig pastels out here and we don’t take back anything. Nothing. You don’t have to because you’re a Wing again. And when it’s Denver you’re talking about? Hell, all you’re doing is telling us what we already knew.
“Everyone is ready to get shipped out any day,” Quincey told Yahoo. “There’s a lot of guys, their bags are packed beside the door, and they wouldn’t be unhappy to go — trust me. I know I had a big smile on my face (after being traded to the Wings), and all the guys were jealous. I think there’s a bunch of guys that were (disappointed) they weren’t in a package deal.”
...all the guys were jealous.
We know that too. We’ve been saying it for years and, once again, the 19 are right on the money. You think we just make this shit up? You think we don’t have interns out there? Really? We have transplants all over the frigging place, idiots. We know.
So when players say things like, “they wouldn’t be unhappy to go—trust me.” Hell, we’re the choir Kyle, and you’re just preaching. But you go on. Preach to us because confirmation that Denver is nothing more than a front-running hockey dumb town that Don Henley ripped to shreds in “The Last Resort”...well, it’s old news.
And golly yes. We know. We know Adrian’s all upset. George told us the other day. He brought us little Dater’s tweets and, frankly, they read a bit like an early Judy Blume book. I’ve never seen a beat writer get so emotional about a hockey game that didn’t include the team he’s paid to cover, especially when the game had no real ramifications for anyone that allegedly reads his drivel.
And the funny part, the part that really keeps on giving even months after Christmas, is that you and I both know what gets teeny Adrienne all worked up. He gets all slurry and droopy eyed late at night, reads a little A2Y and goes bat-shit crazy. It’s really the best kind of fun.
But back to you Kyle. Back to you. Men don’t recall emails and you don’t retract statements from the gut. You say what you feel and you stand by it. Nobody believes retractions anyway.
Something you may have forgotten, Kyle, while you were gone? Bob Seger speaks nothing but truth. Let him lead you. Let him guide you back where you can enjoy a Southern Michigan Summertime. Bullet Bob, chubby and a little plastered, gravel-voiced and 100 percent Pure Michigan, put it best so many years ago when he told us all to just “get out of Denver.” Be happy you did, young man. Nothing but shitty hockey and really bad feminist advice columnists in that town.
It’s a Live Blog bitches. Welcome these candy-asses back to the home of Cups and loyalty, cheap beer and Journey when the time is exactly right. Suck it Denver. Suck it now and forever more.
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About Abel to Yzerman
Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977. No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y. Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation. There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature. Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: firstname.lastname@example.org