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Abel to Yzerman

Note To Khan(!): Don’t You Ever Try To Speak For My Willie

It’s been too long since we last took a hard look at the hustling, hungry crew of Detroit beat writers and columnists.  I’ve been saving a few ditties and another just popped up.  Ready?  I know you are.

Just stop.  Stop it.  Ansar Khan(!), after all these years of only writing exactly what the Wings tell you to, doing little more than paraphrasing Uncle Mike and Tick Tock, don’t you go and try pretending that you have an opinion. 

MLive

And consider this, too: In Detroit, Mitchell would have no chance of cracking the top four (Nicklas Lidstrom, Brian Rafalski, Brad Stuart, Niklas Kronwall) this season, barring an injury. Would he want to go somewhere knowing he’s cemented as the No. 5 or No. 6 defenseman and won’t get as much playing time? It’s doubtful.

Awww.  Well that’s just cute. 

 

Wook at our wittle DD Captain, going all analytic and shit. 

Well, here’s a frigging storyline for you Ansar…if Willie Mitchell comes to Hockeytown it’s not because he wants to “crack the top 4”.  It’s because he wants a Cup.  And if he’s playing for a contract, if he signs here for cheap, for one year, he’ll get that deal here or elsewhere if he contributes to the mission.  Get it?

Brett Lebda sucks ass, but he’s gonna get nearly 1.5. Yeah, he’s gonna make it in Toronto…where the Leafs aren’t exactly known for redolent decision making, but he’s getting it.  Why Ansar?  Not because of his startling abilities to rove the blue line or move the puck.  He’s getting that money because of his pedigree, because of his association with the Wings.  Toronto’s not paying for the baby Jesus-given talents of Brett Lebda. They’re paying for what he’s learned in our organ-I-zation and the Quincey-like possibility that those lessons translate into success.

Ohhh…and Ansar? 

Among free-agent defensemen the Detroit Red Wings have inquired about, Lukas Krajicek seems like a more realistic possibility than Willie Mitchell for that sixth spot.

STFU.  You just made me sad.  Somebody fed that name to Khan(!).  No way he’s done an in-depth analysis of the UFA pool and figured it out on his own.  Somebody fed it to him and that’s disturbing because in that case it’s probably true that the Wings are considering him. 

Keep your dirty frigging hands off my Willie, Khan(!). 

Hey, here’s something cool.  Chris McCosky, who finds us unsavory and probably borderline slanderous, is doing all sorts of blogging from Lions camp.  So now I’m wondering, with the recent addition of Greg Krupa to our happy band of Deep Diggers, does that mean we’ve seen the last of McCosky? And what about Ted Kulfan?  WTF?  I had fun with Teddy.  Where’s he headed off to, eh?  Whatever.  Something tells me we haven’t seen the last of John Niyo.  I’m just sayin’.

Seen this?  All you motherly protectors of our Delicate Genius might want to stop reading now because little Mitch got frigging blasted a few weeks ago at The Big Lead.  Jason Whitlock is not pleased with the AP’s selection of Albom for some big-ass award.

Myth Albom is and always has been the king of feel-good fairy tales about dead sources, make-believe dead people in heaven, Fab Five basketball players and any other source willing to keep quiet while Albom poured syrup and exaggeration on some cute anecdote.

Associated Press Sports Editors, the political, ass-kissing organization that pretends to be sports writing’s selfless guardian, built King Myth Albom’s throne, celebrating his money-quote-filled narrative schmaltz year after year with enough plaques to build an ark.

Whitlock plasters him, and it’s fun to read.  Whitlock, to be fair, used to be a competitor of Albom’s in Ann Arbor and remains one today as a national columnist.  So, his motives are probably jaded a bit.  But Whitlock is the anti-Mitch, which is good enough in my book.  Good on him for telling it like it is and probably taking a huge amount of heat for it since the Delicate Genius is the poster girl of newspaper columnists.

Finally, we’ve got ourselves a grass-roots movement going here at A2Y and across the Wing blogosphere.  It started out in a dark, drunken back room (AKA: the A2Y comment section) a few weeks ago and now it’s come to life.  We’re sending Malik to TC.  If you want to contribute, use George’s email address (rtxg at yahoo) when you go to PayPal and let’s get him to training camp.  Great comment by Primis on this thing the other day.

Only Red Wings fans would take up a fund to send a specific writer… to Traverse City… to cover the prospects tournament and camp.

The whole argument for any other NHL team’s fanbase being better just was completely crushed.  Game, set, and match.

You may be seeing that quote again soon on a sidebar near you.  Enjoy your Sunday bitches.

 

 

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Comments

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calquake's avatar

Reading your latest missive Chief is like a good, strong, Sunday morning cup of coffee.  Black and hearty, it sets the tone for the rest of the day.

Posted by calquake on 08/08/10 at 12:27 PM ET

Baroque's avatar

I wonder how much the Detroit media could save if they just abandoned the pretense of sports coverage and just put links to the bloggers.

Big Al certainly covers the Lions better than anyone else in the area who supposedly has it as their job to do so. I never go to the news websites unless I follow a blog link there anymore.

Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 08/08/10 at 12:31 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

a good, strong, Sunday morning cup of coffee.  Black and hearty.
Posted by calquake on 08/08/10 at 11:27 AM ET


“No thanks.  I take it black….. like my men.”

Posted by RWBill from Brush Street cruising with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 08/08/10 at 12:43 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

I never go to the news websites unless I follow a blog link there anymore.
Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 08/08/10 at 11:31 AM ET

Word.

Posted by RWBill from Brush Street cruising with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 08/08/10 at 12:44 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

It started out in a dark, drunken back room (AKA: the A2Y comment section)
by IwoCPO on 08/08/10 at 11:08 AM ET

These people??

Posted by RWBill from Brush Street cruising with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 08/08/10 at 12:52 PM ET

Tony's avatar

Always wondered but never asked, pls explain the (!).....

Posted by Tony from Virginia Beach, VA on 08/08/10 at 12:59 PM ET

chollis's avatar

KHAAAAN! Pictures, Images and Photos

Posted by chollis from Seattle. Seriously. on 08/08/10 at 01:16 PM ET

Tony's avatar

LOL, gotcha…

Posted by Tony from Virginia Beach, VA on 08/08/10 at 01:25 PM ET

Osrt's avatar

Whitlock definitely calls Myth out and thank goodness for that.

Anyway, Willie will definitely have to sacrifice to be a Wing but there is nothing that says he can’t play himself to second pairing. Kronner or Stuart have an off game, their mistiming their hits or pinches and you shake it up for a shift or three, settle things down and off we go.

I’m wishing both Lebda and Leino good years but I also don’t want the WIngs’s name attached to either of them. Lebda has Detroit pedigree? That’s a gross thought. I don’t see Leino sustaining himself throughout the year but good luck to him.

Also, have people been following the new goalie rule changes that George has been detailing. Ozzie might lose a big chunk of his leg pads because of the changes. That’s a freakin’ scary thought. We can’t have another year form him like the last one. He’ll be a back up but if Jimmy falters I’d like to not shite my pants when Ozzie comes in.

I know we’re stacked up front and neither Ozzie or Howard need to be spectacular but Ozzie was barely competent last year.

k…that was my negativity for the day. Sorry to shite in public but TDT made me do it.

Posted by Osrt on 08/08/10 at 01:36 PM ET

PaulinMiamiBeach's avatar

And consider this, too: In Detroit, Mitchell would have no chance of cracking the top four (Nicklas Lidstrom, Brian Rafalski, Brad Stuart, Niklas Kronwall) this season, barring an injury. Would he want to go somewhere knowing he’s cemented as the No. 5 or No. 6 defenseman and won’t get as much playing time? It’s doubtful.

it’s doubtful he’d want to come here on a 1 or 2 year contract, play as a number 5 defenseman for a year or two while learing THE system, playing for THE Organ-I-Zation, have his best chance of winning a CUP, then move up into the top 4 of that same team with a huge raise after Lidstrom retires?

yeah, who would want that?

see, Ansar, anal-ysis is easy if you actually THINK, and think about the FUTURE.

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 08/08/10 at 02:00 PM ET

Guilherme's avatar

Albom needed to be called out, not to improve his hockey writing, but to stop it completely (ie. stop interviewing players in April [even if that Datstyuk interview was great]). And I lost the pinch of respect I had for Khahnh when I beat him.

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 08/08/10 at 02:09 PM ET

Sullyosis's avatar

Reading your latest missive Chief is like a good, strong, Sunday morning cup of coffee.  Black and hearty, it sets the tone for the rest of the day.

Posted by calquake on 08/08/10 at 11:27 AM ET

It’s like my brother taught me from his days in the Navy, “I like my coffee like Whoopi Goldberg.  Black and bitter.”

Posted by Sullyosis from A hateful lair in Post Apocalyptic US (or Arizona) on 08/08/10 at 02:20 PM ET

PaulinMiamiBeach's avatar

It’s like my brother taught me from his days in the Navy, “I like my coffee like Whoopi Goldberg.  Black and bitter.”

can coffee be butch lesbian?

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 08/08/10 at 02:23 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Holy Cow, is that Kirstie Alley, with a thin neck?

THE BEST OF CAPTAIN KIRK
THE KOBAYASHI MARU
Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (1982)

Posted by RWBill from Brush Street cruising with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 08/08/10 at 02:39 PM ET

Sullyosis's avatar

Posted by RWBill from The Tooth Fairy. on 08/08/10 at 01:39 PM ET

I had a friend tell me just the other day he loved me so much that I was “The food to his Kristy Alley.”  Great times.

Posted by Sullyosis from A hateful lair in Post Apocalyptic US (or Arizona) on 08/08/10 at 02:45 PM ET

AndrewFromAnnArbor's avatar

Black and hearty, it sets the tone for the rest of the day.

Black-hearted, that’s our Chief.

Whitlock’s hatchet job on Albom was pure gold.  There just aren’t enough thug tributes done these days, and that was classic.  Though frankly, I always found that the awards and plaudits that Albom got after he sold out the state of Michigan bothered me far less than the millions and millions of dollars from teary-eyed schmaltz-slurpers who couldn’t stop shelling out their hard cash for his drivel between two covers.

Screw the Diggers anyway.  The only one I trust is Malik and I’d pay anything to get him to TC for TC, but I hesitate to call him a Digger because a) he doesn’t suck ass, and 2) he declares himself truthfully as a ‘partisan Wings blogger.’  I don’t read any dug-up Digger shit, and I’m not about to start.  PS. Screw Drew Sharp too—you missed him, Chief, or did you just run out of ammo?

I’ll wait to see what happens, but I believe I’ve made my feelings on Big Willie Stylee VERY clear.  I just love a Big Willie in the locker room.

BTW, Bill, I don’t know what you intended with the tomato hornworm, but here’s something worse for you—when the wasp larvae eat their way out, they generally save the vital organs for last, to keep the worm alive and the meat fresh for as long as possible.  It lives in agony for days, only getting the relief of death when it’s nearly nothing but a shell full of larvae.  Sick, huh?

Personally, I like my coffee like I like my women.  Black, strong, and…served in a mug.

Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 08/08/10 at 03:03 PM ET

pjwalny's avatar

Willie Mitchel is attracted to the wings because he wants his name on stanley. Lidstrom is done after next year. Mitchel will have time to develop chemistry with our players. When 2012 rolls around he will have a new contract and be able to hit the ground running.

Besides the only teams he is interested in is detroit , vancouver washington and one more.Vancouver is over the cap already and similar to the capitals, the canucks just seem like one of those good teams that will never truly be able to get past the detroits and san joses and win a cup.

As much as I love Alex Ove and hate sid, I dont know if Ove will ever be able to lead his team through pitts and the rest of the east.

Posted by pjwalny from Not Detroit, evidently?? on 08/08/10 at 04:36 PM ET

Osrt's avatar

Not to suck on my own lollipop or anything, but is no one else worried about the Osgood situation?

Posted by Osrt on 08/08/10 at 04:58 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Posted by Osrt on 08/08/10 at 03:58 PM ET

I won’t be worried until Jimmy sucks and Ozzie relaces him and he sucks…then I’ll worry.  For now… don’t bogart that redolent joint my friend. cheese

Posted by calquake on 08/08/10 at 05:04 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

the Osgood situation?

Posted by Osrt on 08/08/10 at 03:58 PM ET

You mean Osgood to appear even smaller due to the NHL “proportional” leg pad ruling?

I had a friend tell me just the other day he loved me so much that I was “The food to his Kristy Alley.” Great times.
Posted by Sullyosis from A hateful lair in Post Apocalyptic US (or Arizona) on 08/08/10 at 01:45 PM ET

That’s kind of disturbing, and Gay, but that’s cool.

Posted by RWBill from Brush Street cruising with Super Creepy Rob Lowe. on 08/08/10 at 05:37 PM ET

George Malik's avatar

Bill’s going to disown me.  I sure as hell hope that KH pulls off the improbable because Mitchell wants to come here, but I suggested a few alternatives as well because the Brett Lebda and Shaone Morrisonn signings absolutely f’ed up the marketplace.

Posted by George Malik from South Lyon, MI on 08/08/10 at 06:01 PM ET

George Malik's avatar

If it makes you feel any better, Wyshynski thinks it could happen.

Posted by George Malik from South Lyon, MI on 08/08/10 at 06:02 PM ET

Baroque's avatar

...but is no one else worried about the Osgood situation?

Posted by Osrt on 08/08/10 at 03:58 PM ET

//raises hand

That would be the biggest issue that could derail any hopes of being a legitimate contender. If Howard has a slump and Osgood isn’t any better than he was last year. It’s part of the reason I was hoping for a solid defenseman instead of Modano.

Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 08/08/10 at 06:08 PM ET

dougie's avatar

I plowed through 150 pages of “War and Peace” this weekend, only to log on here to read prose that puts Tolstoy to shame.

“Brett Lebda sucks ass.”

A basic, cosmic truth expressed in 4 simple words. Hemingway, eat your heart out.

Posted by dougie on 08/08/10 at 08:20 PM ET

HockeytownOverhaul's avatar

Don’t be ashamed to lick your own lollipop bro-ham, if I could do it I wouldn’t leave the house.  As for my fear of sophomore slump for Jimmy and the prospect of Ozzie having to carry the team for any amount of time really doesn’t bother me.  If it’s one thing the wings do is win.  Missing half the team last year, taped together with minor leaguers, we still broke 100pts and made the 5th spot inthe conference in a year where we “would be lucky to make the playoffs” .  The wings will win, it’s what they do.  Regardless of Ozzie’s play or Howies play, they’d both have to shit the bed in a big way to actually ruin the wings season.

Posted by HockeytownOverhaul on 08/08/10 at 08:38 PM ET

J.J. from Kansas's avatar

If it makes you feel any better, Wyshynski thinks it could happen.

Posted by George James Malik from South Lyon, MI on 08/08/10 at 05:02 PM ET

That does not make me feel better, it makes me feel slightly dirtier for agreeing with Wyshynski on something again.

Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 08/08/10 at 08:56 PM ET

J.J. from Kansas's avatar

Oh, and Osrt, my brother, I’m worried about Ozzie’s pads too.  I’m also worried that in my offseason form, I can’t think of a good sanitary napkin joke to go along with that sentence…

Fuch it, I’ll just keep channeling Alfred E. Newman for now.

Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 08/08/10 at 08:58 PM ET

Guilherme's avatar

Offseason shit:

1. I watched Inception, the first I ever watched based on twitter hype. And, schockingly, it lived up. Or not. Or did it? Damn…

2. Today is Father’s Day in Brazil, congratulations to all the 19 fathers who were <strike>cheated</strike> blessed by Jonny E’s seeds.

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 08/08/10 at 09:11 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Brett Lebda:  $1.45 million.
Shaone Morrisson:  $2.075 million.

Wings’ cap space:  $1.6 million and 22 players signed.

C’mon, Mitchell, take the $1 million and your name on the Cup and THEN we’ll talk about the future.

Posted by SYF from Alana Blanchard's Bikinis and Surfboards on 08/08/10 at 09:14 PM ET

Guilherme's avatar

Posted by J.J. from Kansas

Your Lautner avatar was streched out so I hit F5 to see that avestruz (Portuguese for “this animal I don’t know the name”). The fact that I knew the size of the previous one worries me.

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 08/08/10 at 09:22 PM ET

pgoody's avatar

Note: The following picture is and never has been photoshopped.

Get him to Detroit…

Posted by pgoody on 08/08/10 at 09:23 PM ET

hiero4life's avatar

Tick Tock- Willy take this Million

Willy- LebDUH got 1.4

Tick Tock-LebDUH plays for Toronto and they suck and will suck in the future

Willy-Where did I put that pen

Posted by hiero4life from anywhere i am on 08/08/10 at 09:31 PM ET

J.J. from Kansas's avatar

Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 08/08/10 at 08:22 PM ET

Well, seeing The Laut’s pretty face all stretched and distorted would be off-putting.

This is an ostrich with the teeth of some sort of angry primate; Chris Pronger, possibly.  It continues my summer tradition of dumb metaphors.

Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 08/08/10 at 09:35 PM ET

D4LRob's avatar

Tick Tock- Willy take this Million

Willy- LebDUH got 1.4

Tick Tock-LebDUH plays for Toronto and they suck and will suck in the future

Willy-Where did I put that pen

Homer- I have pen. Sign here.

Posted by D4LRob on 08/08/10 at 10:06 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

from twitter:

SnipeDangle Alright sunshines, here it is: Ain’t that America, as sung by Mr. Darren McCarty. You’re welcome

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 08/08/10 at 10:29 PM ET

HockeyTownTodd's avatar

This is an ostrich with the teeth of some sort of angry primate;
Posted by J.J. from Kansas

I thought it was Tiger Williams, but it did make me think of Chara.

I kinda like it, hang with it for a while.

Posted by HockeyTownTodd on 08/09/10 at 01:09 AM ET

Twig in Houston's avatar

Posted by pgoody on 08/08/10 at 08:23 PM ET

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wok_GcIJgDc

Posted by Twig in Houston from Houston, TX on 08/09/10 at 01:31 AM ET

Sullyosis's avatar

This is an ostrich with the teeth of some sort of angry primate; Chris Pronger, possibly.  It continues my summer tradition of dumb metaphors.

Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 08/08/10 at 08:35 PM ET

Oh no sh*t?  I thought that was Randy Johnson.

Posted by Sullyosis from A hateful lair in Post Apocalyptic US (or Arizona) on 08/09/10 at 01:46 AM ET

Osrt's avatar

For now… don’t bogart that redolent joint my friend.

Posted by calquake

Nah man, my grandma’s got it


A leaky Ozzie that gets bloodied regularly because his pads aren’t big enough to stop shite…yea, that scares me.

That would be the biggest issue that could derail any hopes of being a legitimate contender. If Howard has a slump and Osgood isn’t any better than he was last year.

Posted by Baroque

I was going to say something similar Ms. B but it sounded too much like what we heard for a long time from the MSM: “Detroit’s weakness is in goal.” This year though, I am sincerely worried because there is a material change—Ozzie’s pad size—rather than just the psychological issues that have haunted him of late. Let’s hope he has managed to deal with his marital situation.

Would McCollum or Joey MacDonald(!) be the emergency call up?  ...whoops, just crapped my pants.

Posted by Osrt on 08/09/10 at 06:54 AM ET

Baroque's avatar

I was going to say something similar Ms. B but it sounded too much like what we heard for a long time from the MSM: “Detroit’s weakness is in goal.” This year though, I am sincerely worried because there is a material change—Ozzie’s pad size—rather than just the psychological issues that have haunted him of late.

I know, but there is a difference between knee-jerk reactions which can be demonstrated to be false (“the team is old and slow!”) and a legitimate concern.

Nick Lidstrom getting too old isn’t a worry; insufficient depth on defense to compensate for him not being young enough to routinely play 30 minutes a game would be a legitimate concern. Osgood being - well, Osgood - isn’t a worry, but Osgood playing like crap and being unable to find his game again is.

For any team goaltending is a factor of concern, but this is one time when it may prove to be a real worry for Detroit instead of just a media hobbyhorse more than anything else. No way to tell until the season actually starts and Howard shows how he is going to play this season.

Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 08/09/10 at 07:49 AM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com