Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

No. Chance. In. Hell.

Google news alerts tell me that Chris Osgood has a groin thing and won’t play tonite, leaving us with a sophomorically slumping Jimmah Howard who hasn’t given up less than 3 goals since RWBill made that grace his bitch on Thanksgiving.  Brad Stuart is out 6 to 8 after a hit from a walking urinal cake, a hit that will most likely go unnoticed by Gary Bettman’s pathetic sewer of a front office..and yeah that includes you Brendan Shanahan, you hypocrite.

The best forward in hockey is still out, along with the soul of Hockeytown…Charlie Buckets.  Wally’s probably down again tonite and my magic eight ball keeps coming up with this, “your favorite team is going to be violated repeatedly”. 

There is no chance in hell the Wings win this game tonite.  Vancouver’s too hot. The Wings are too hurt.  Our goalie is too erratic, our forwards are ravaged, our blue line is gaping like a back-alley Dive fan on a warm Denver Tuesday night.  There are just too many obstacles to overcome. Too much adversity.  The puppies won’t come out and somebody pissed in the fire truck’s gas tanks.  The hookers, god bless ‘em, are all “studying for their mid-terms” and Jobu’s at it again. 

No. Chance. In. Hell.

Just the way my Uncle Mike likes it.  Statement game in hostile territory against the hottest team in hockey with injuries like nothing any team has seen since this team saw them exactly one year ago?  Screw it.  Wings win because, by god, it’s what they do in situations just like this.

Just when you think Gary’s league and Jobu’s curses and the big, bad Western Canadian(en) tough guys are going to have their way with our Wings in the most grotesque manner possible?  That’s when the best coach in hockey earns his free pizzas.

You want sympathy? From who?  Gary, Chicago, Vancouver?  Hell no.  They can all suck it.  And yeah, you too, Shanny.  How you allow your name to be associated with this joke of a three-ring circle jerk is a mystery to the rest of us.

Live Blog this one, bitches…because, guess what?  All of Canada will be watching and hoping and wishing for a Wing loss.

Perfect.

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Comments

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Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Hate to do this, but Jimmy just made his save of the year.
Posted by Paul

Nice to see a great save like that right off the hop.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 01/09/11 at 12:24 AM ET

Chris in A^2's avatar

Jimmy

Posted by Chris in A^2 from Nyquist Puck Control on 01/09/11 at 12:25 AM ET

Jennemy of the Skate's avatar

Gabe, my center ice still blacked out and no CBC here. Ready to punch my tv. And yes, it’s little gary’s fault. It always is.

Posted by Jennemy of the Skate from the bar car on the stress train on 01/09/11 at 12:25 AM ET

Osrt's avatar

Oh snap, look at Jimmah.

” I got this shite fellas. I got this.”

Posted by Osrt on 01/09/11 at 12:25 AM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Sorry Gabe, I’m on Dish.

Will that damn Pistons game end?

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/09/11 at 12:25 AM ET

Chris in A^2's avatar

Fuch basketball.  Still 9 seconds left.

Posted by Chris in A^2 from Nyquist Puck Control on 01/09/11 at 12:26 AM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Helm’s got him some dangle lately!

Posted by sjketcheson from Ottawa on 01/08/11 at 10:18 PM ET

He been having some very good moves of late. Maybe Dangle is coaching him while he heals up.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 01/09/11 at 12:26 AM ET

Wingfan191's avatar

Looks like Detroit is gonna have to just play it safe and not press all game.  Just take advantages of PP’s and any breaks they get.  They won’t be controlling this game with their puck control like they usually do.

Posted by Wingfan191 from Bothell, WA (originally from Troy, MI) on 01/09/11 at 12:26 AM ET

Down River Dan's avatar

Having to listen to JimHughson, I wish the CBC was blacked out

Posted by Down River Dan on 01/09/11 at 12:27 AM ET

Chris in A^2's avatar

Pistons win, hopefully hockey will be on shortly

Posted by Chris in A^2 from Nyquist Puck Control on 01/09/11 at 12:27 AM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

He=He’s. Bitches.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 01/09/11 at 12:27 AM ET

Since71's avatar

Feed up FSD

http://www.directon.tv/channels/550/

Posted by Since71 from Bucharest, Romania on 01/09/11 at 12:28 AM ET

SYF's avatar

Yooper, try this and click on the Wings v. Canucks game.  Yes, it’s CBC but at least it’s televised.

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 01/09/11 at 12:28 AM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

fsd

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 01/09/11 at 12:29 AM ET

PaulinMiamiBeach's avatar

what the hell was Salei doing with his stick?

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 01/09/11 at 12:30 AM ET

Chris in A^2's avatar

FSD up but playing the game from the beginning

Posted by Chris in A^2 from Nyquist Puck Control on 01/09/11 at 12:30 AM ET

Gabriel's avatar

Finally.  Oh, by the way, hola bitches.  Happy New Year and all that.

Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 01/09/11 at 12:30 AM ET

WestWing's avatar

First horsehit call of the night.  A bit late tonight boys?  Gary must have called.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 01/09/11 at 12:30 AM ET

Osrt's avatar

WTF was the call?

FSD didn’t show it.

Posted by Osrt on 01/09/11 at 12:31 AM ET

SYF's avatar

Feed up FSD

http://www.directon.tv/channels/550/

Posted by Since71 from Bucharest, Romania on 01/08/11 at 10:28 PM ET

Dude, it’s remarkable how you find these links.  It’s about four or five seconds slower than the feed I found but it’s FSD anyway.

I bow to you.

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 01/09/11 at 12:31 AM ET

Gabriel's avatar

FSD up but playing the game from the beginning

Not here…DirecTV’s starting in progress….

Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 01/09/11 at 12:31 AM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Holy smokes - - best PK I’ve seen in a month

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/09/11 at 12:32 AM ET

Chris in A^2's avatar

Jimmy

Posted by Chris in A^2 from Nyquist Puck Control on 01/09/11 at 12:32 AM ET

doozy104's avatar

Is it me or does babcock look angrier in person?

Posted by doozy104 from Vancouver on 01/09/11 at 12:33 AM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

surfs up

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 01/09/11 at 12:34 AM ET

Down River Dan's avatar

Not sure how many got to see it earlier, but on HNIC pre game show, they had a nice pice on uncle mike. They followed him around for the day. Pretty good stuff.

Posted by Down River Dan on 01/09/11 at 12:35 AM ET

Osrt's avatar

Not sure how many got to see it earlier, but on HNIC pre game show, they had a nice pice on uncle mike. They followed him around for the day. Pretty good stuff.

Posted by Down River Dan

Didn’t see it. I hope Paul links it. Hope Malik feels better soon.

Posted by Osrt on 01/09/11 at 12:36 AM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

paysite just made the switch, too

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 01/09/11 at 12:36 AM ET

WestWing's avatar

And how the fuch is that not interference on Hank getting gang raped going into the Vancouver zone?

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 01/09/11 at 12:37 AM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

Malik feels better soon.

+19,000

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 01/09/11 at 12:38 AM ET

Chris in A^2's avatar

Local broadcast of FSD is up to speed now

Posted by Chris in A^2 from Nyquist Puck Control on 01/09/11 at 12:38 AM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

so toronto will look at the hit on sunday eh?

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 01/09/11 at 12:38 AM ET

Osrt's avatar

Helm has lost three straight defensive zone faceoffs.

Posted by Osrt on 01/09/11 at 12:38 AM ET

SYF's avatar

Wings playing with some hot sauce in their boots.  Legs are moving, churning like it suddenly fuching matters.

I like it.

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 01/09/11 at 12:39 AM ET

dougie's avatar

Fox starting the game late is not good. I need all 19 minutes of the first period , to mentally prepare for the last minute, and tonight, I didn’t get it.

Posted by dougie on 01/09/11 at 12:40 AM ET

Osrt's avatar

Wings playing with some hot sauce in their boots.  Legs are moving, churning like it suddenly fuching matters.

I like it.

Posted by SYF

Worried about burn out by the 3rd. They need to score so that they can play easier hockey.

Posted by Osrt on 01/09/11 at 12:40 AM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

” ... easier hockey.”

there is no such thing for the Wings in gary’s.thanks,ass. league

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 01/09/11 at 12:42 AM ET

SYF's avatar

Worried about burn out by the 3rd. They need to score so that they can play easier hockey.

Posted by Osrt on 01/08/11 at 10:40 PM ET

Agree but I think at the pace, they just might surprise us.

Posted by SYF from The Revenge of Johnny E on 01/09/11 at 12:42 AM ET

WestWing's avatar

Anolther quick whistle, this time on the delayed penalty

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 01/09/11 at 12:42 AM ET

Down River Dan's avatar

Boy !! another quick whistle on that kronwall stuff chance

Posted by Down River Dan on 01/09/11 at 12:42 AM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com