Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

No. Chance. In. Hell.

Google news alerts tell me that Chris Osgood has a groin thing and won’t play tonite, leaving us with a sophomorically slumping Jimmah Howard who hasn’t given up less than 3 goals since RWBill made that grace his bitch on Thanksgiving.  Brad Stuart is out 6 to 8 after a hit from a walking urinal cake, a hit that will most likely go unnoticed by Gary Bettman’s pathetic sewer of a front office..and yeah that includes you Brendan Shanahan, you hypocrite.

The best forward in hockey is still out, along with the soul of Hockeytown…Charlie Buckets.  Wally’s probably down again tonite and my magic eight ball keeps coming up with this, “your favorite team is going to be violated repeatedly”. 

There is no chance in hell the Wings win this game tonite.  Vancouver’s too hot. The Wings are too hurt.  Our goalie is too erratic, our forwards are ravaged, our blue line is gaping like a back-alley Dive fan on a warm Denver Tuesday night.  There are just too many obstacles to overcome. Too much adversity.  The puppies won’t come out and somebody pissed in the fire truck’s gas tanks.  The hookers, god bless ‘em, are all “studying for their mid-terms” and Jobu’s at it again. 

No. Chance. In. Hell.

Just the way my Uncle Mike likes it.  Statement game in hostile territory against the hottest team in hockey with injuries like nothing any team has seen since this team saw them exactly one year ago?  Screw it.  Wings win because, by god, it’s what they do in situations just like this.

Just when you think Gary’s league and Jobu’s curses and the big, bad Western Canadian(en) tough guys are going to have their way with our Wings in the most grotesque manner possible?  That’s when the best coach in hockey earns his free pizzas.

You want sympathy? From who?  Gary, Chicago, Vancouver?  Hell no.  They can all suck it.  And yeah, you too, Shanny.  How you allow your name to be associated with this joke of a three-ring circle jerk is a mystery to the rest of us.

Live Blog this one, bitches…because, guess what?  All of Canada will be watching and hoping and wishing for a Wing loss.


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RWBill's avatar

What a gutsy gutsy performance last night.  Thank you Jimmah.

I was going to post the Wings can’t keep banking on scoring 4 goals while missing 50% of their forward lines, so they find a way to win at Vancouver by giving up just 1 goal.

Incredible.  Datsyuk OUT of the line up and they win 2 Skills Competition?  This is either a team of destiny (you are my density - Marty McFly) or just merely lucky.  I think they are making their own luck.

Posted by RWBill on 01/09/11 at 02:36 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

JEN needs your Hotel requests for Friday night if you haven’t emailed it to her yet.

She wants to get things nailed down this week so please let her know if you need a room for H2H2.

Posted by RWBill on 01/09/11 at 02:38 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Jimmah Howard who hasn’t given up less than 3 goals since RWBill made that grace his bitch on Thanksgiving.
by IwoCPO on 01/08/11 at 07:55 PM ET

I don’t know exactly what that means, but I had failed to post this year’s Christmas Apple Pie in honor of the birth of the Sweet Baby Jesus.

deep dish apple pie with brown sugar and grannie smith apples and raisins and a dash of rum.

Posted by RWBill on 01/09/11 at 02:53 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Khan(!) hands out his mid-season grades.

Holland states his goal for the team:  .“We can play better than we have,’’ Holland said. “Vancouver is probably the best team in the league right now. We got to continue to find ways to win 6-7 games out of every 10.

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/09/11 at 03:41 PM ET

SYF's avatar

The guy made a mockery of the Smythe Trophy balloting that year with a show that included goals, points, game winners and a couple of 5-on-3 individual penalty-killing performances the likes of which this agent hasn’t seen in 40 years of watching the game. He was breathtakingly good.

THE best part of that terrific article, Jeff.  Great, great find.

Watching the highlights isn’t quite as satisfying as actually watching it live and unfolding.  Hopefully, this carries over to Monday’s game against the Dives.

Posted by SYF from Twerkin' with Anastasia Ashley on 01/09/11 at 06:36 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

Doesn’t seem like enough.

“NHL Suspends Kostopoulos For Six Games”

From the Emporer on the main page.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 01/09/11 at 07:14 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Luckily, I don’t live in Vegas.

Posted by Paul from Motown Area on 01/09/11 at 10:29 AM ET

aLOL (TM Tyler).  Luckily, I love hockey too much to bet on it.

Posted by SYF from Twerkin' with Anastasia Ashley on 01/09/11 at 07:30 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Great win last night.  Solid defense, check.  Great goaltending, check.  Sixty plus minutes of sustained effort, check.  Wings actually win a game while keeping the opposition under three goals, and against the hottest team in the league no less!!!

I’ve been so amped since last night that I’m having game withdrawals today.  Luckily, a buddy of mine here in town who also happens to be a WHL referee, got us tickets to this evening’s WHL game in Portland.  Why do I mention that here, you ask?  Because Portland’s opponent tonight is the Everett Silvertips whose captain happens to be Landon Ferraro.  I’m anxious to see how his game looks, especially in light of the fact that Kenny & Co. have seen enough improvement to go ahead and sign him to a contract..

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 01/09/11 at 07:36 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

So he sits out comfortably for six games while Stuart misses six weeks suffering pain from a jaw broken in two places and his team misses his services while contending for a playoff home spot.  Sounds like the normal chicken-crap NHL version of fair.  Any bets on how long the suspension would have been had the recipient been Crosby?  Lifetime ban anyone?  When is the NHL going to get serious about hits to the head as the GMs have stated they want?

Posted by RWBill on 01/09/11 at 09:46 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

West Wing let us know how Ferraro’s wheels and wrister are!  Sounds like fun, eh?

Posted by RWBill on 01/09/11 at 09:52 PM ET

PaulinMiamiBeach's avatar

RWBill, do you think that the opponent’s actual injury should factor into the length of a suspension?  what if the play was exactly the same and Stuart was lucky enough not to be injured?

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 01/09/11 at 10:46 PM ET

HockeyTownTodd's avatar

adater adater
Budaj to start against Red Wings http://bit.ly/hRaxe4

Posted by HockeyTownTodd on 01/10/11 at 02:24 AM ET

WestWing's avatar

Well I gotta say, there’s quite a bit to like about Landon Ferraro.  In a 5-4 shootout loss, he was a minus -2 with an assist on the PP for the night (the minus being largely due to a bad turnover by a teammate and a very soft goal allowed by the Everett tender), but nonetheless, as good players always seem to do at the junior level, he stood out. 

There were some very good players on the ice.  The Portland team is flat out loaded.  Nino Niederreiter and Ryan Johansen were both top five picks last spring and two other Portland players, Ty Rattie and Sven Bartschi project as high picks this year, while the Everett team is, by comparison, considerably less talented.

As the top line center on his team he drew a pretty formidable matchup, spending most of the night against Johansen who was not only a top five pick last year but is also coming off of all-tournament-team honors in the world juniors last week.  The most obvious difference between the two players is simply a matter of size and strength.  Johansen is huge and clearly much stronger in the corners and along the walls, which points to the most glaring weakness in Ferraro’s game—he’s undersized and he’s going to need to spend some serious time in the weight room in order to stand a chance at the NHL level.  The reality is he gets pushed around a lot in his own zone.

But as I said, there is also a lot to like about his game.  The first thing that jumped out at me was seeing him coming up ice on the rush.  He has the kind of speed that really backs defenders off.  Not quite Darren Helm speed, but not far off either.  He had one shorthanded breakaway that started when he picked up a loose puck at the blue line, split the D and was gone.  Unfortunately he tried to go top shelf with a wrist shot and put the puck about six inches over the bar which only added to the Helm comparison in my mind

Otherwise, he looks very confident carrying the puck and seems to have good hands and a good feel for the offensive zone.  He made a couple of really nice passing plays down low and almost potted one from below the goal line when he tried to bank one off the back of the Portland goalie.  He logs a lot of ice time, plays on the first power play unit as well as the PK and was the guy who came over the boards for several key defensive zone faceoffs.  He’s the captain of his team and clearly the Everett coaching staff feels comfortable using him in all situations.

All in all, he’s got a ways to go to become a viable NHL player, but you can definitely see why the Wings like him.  He is, in many ways, a prototypical Red Wing draft choice—which is another way of saying undersized, but with high end offensive skills.  At this point he’s far more comfortable in the offensive zone than he is in his own end, but the combination of great speed, good hands and the fact that he’s a right-handed shot make it pretty irresistible to imagine what he might become if he works hard, gets stronger and becomes a better two-way player.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 01/10/11 at 05:16 AM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com