Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

No. Chance. In. Hell.

Google news alerts tell me that Chris Osgood has a groin thing and won’t play tonite, leaving us with a sophomorically slumping Jimmah Howard who hasn’t given up less than 3 goals since RWBill made that grace his bitch on Thanksgiving.  Brad Stuart is out 6 to 8 after a hit from a walking urinal cake, a hit that will most likely go unnoticed by Gary Bettman’s pathetic sewer of a front office..and yeah that includes you Brendan Shanahan, you hypocrite.

The best forward in hockey is still out, along with the soul of Hockeytown…Charlie Buckets.  Wally’s probably down again tonite and my magic eight ball keeps coming up with this, “your favorite team is going to be violated repeatedly”. 

There is no chance in hell the Wings win this game tonite.  Vancouver’s too hot. The Wings are too hurt.  Our goalie is too erratic, our forwards are ravaged, our blue line is gaping like a back-alley Dive fan on a warm Denver Tuesday night.  There are just too many obstacles to overcome. Too much adversity.  The puppies won’t come out and somebody pissed in the fire truck’s gas tanks.  The hookers, god bless ‘em, are all “studying for their mid-terms” and Jobu’s at it again. 

No. Chance. In. Hell.

Just the way my Uncle Mike likes it.  Statement game in hostile territory against the hottest team in hockey with injuries like nothing any team has seen since this team saw them exactly one year ago?  Screw it.  Wings win because, by god, it’s what they do in situations just like this.

Just when you think Gary’s league and Jobu’s curses and the big, bad Western Canadian(en) tough guys are going to have their way with our Wings in the most grotesque manner possible?  That’s when the best coach in hockey earns his free pizzas.

You want sympathy? From who?  Gary, Chicago, Vancouver?  Hell no.  They can all suck it.  And yeah, you too, Shanny.  How you allow your name to be associated with this joke of a three-ring circle jerk is a mystery to the rest of us.

Live Blog this one, bitches…because, guess what?  All of Canada will be watching and hoping and wishing for a Wing loss.

Perfect.

Filed in: | Abel to Yzerman | Permalink
 

Comments

« Previous        < 1 2 3 4 >  Last ›      Next »

Osrt's avatar

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut

Pistons went to overtime.

Posted by Osrt on 01/09/11 at 01:08 AM ET

Chris in A^2's avatar

Okay, this is absurd, neither DET feed is up on the damn TV.  What the hell.

Pistons forced overtime

Posted by Chris in A^2 from Nyquist Puck Control on 01/09/11 at 01:08 AM ET

Osrt's avatar

CBC is salivating.

Posted by Osrt on 01/09/11 at 01:10 AM ET

WestWing's avatar

Guy in a Russia sweater holding up a sign saying “Canada believe in the Canucks”.  I won’t comment on that.  Just enjoy the moment.

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 01/09/11 at 01:10 AM ET

Little Redhead's avatar

Lets Go Red WINGS!!!
clap, clap, clap clap clap!!!

Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's chair on 01/09/11 at 01:10 AM ET

Osrt's avatar

Heads up, aggressive 2 man forecheck coming.


Handle that pass Homer. Jeebus.

Posted by Osrt on 01/09/11 at 01:10 AM ET

PaulinMiamiBeach's avatar

Anybody else notice the guy in the stands holding a sign that reads “Canada Believes in the Canucks” while wearing a Russia hockey jersey?  LOL

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 01/09/11 at 01:11 AM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

I remember when I had hair like that guy, the anthems singer, ... many, many moons ago.

Anywho,

L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 01/09/11 at 01:11 AM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

xm playing the game already, none of my gore feeds has the game up yet.

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 01/09/11 at 01:11 AM ET

Down River Dan's avatar

Please hurry up and finish pistons, I can only take this CBC guy so long.  downer

Posted by Down River Dan on 01/09/11 at 01:12 AM ET

Osrt's avatar

Helm trying to take over the game.

Yeeee Booiiii

Posted by Osrt on 01/09/11 at 01:12 AM ET

Wingfan191's avatar

uhhhhhhhhhhhhh wow

Posted by Wingfan191 from Bothell, WA (originally from Troy, MI) on 01/09/11 at 01:14 AM ET

Osrt's avatar

HOLLYYYY SHITTTTT


Save of the FUCHING YEAR

Posted by Osrt on 01/09/11 at 01:15 AM ET

Chris in A^2's avatar

Jimmy fuching saves

Posted by Chris in A^2 from Nyquist Puck Control on 01/09/11 at 01:15 AM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

jimmy jimmy jimmy…

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 01/09/11 at 01:15 AM ET

sjketcheson's avatar

JIMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Posted by sjketcheson from the floor of the Hasek on 01/09/11 at 01:15 AM ET

Gabriel's avatar

First time in a month I’m able to sit and watch a game and maybe join in a live blog….and the Pistons go into overtime.

Somehow this is Gary’s fault.

Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 01/09/11 at 01:15 AM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Unbelievable - - WOW Jimmah

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/09/11 at 01:15 AM ET

Little Redhead's avatar

JIMMAH!!!

Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's chair on 01/09/11 at 01:15 AM ET

PaulinMiamiBeach's avatar

WTF

holy shit Jimmy. I thought that was a goal!

Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 01/09/11 at 01:15 AM ET

Down River Dan's avatar

Puck was NOT completely across the line, NO GOAL

Posted by Down River Dan on 01/09/11 at 01:15 AM ET

WestWing's avatar

Glove save—and a beauty!!!

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 01/09/11 at 01:16 AM ET

Paul's avatar

Hate to do this, but Jimmy just made his save of the year.

Posted by Paul from Motown Area on 01/09/11 at 01:16 AM ET

Osrt's avatar

That helped Jimmah’s confidence.

Posted by Osrt on 01/09/11 at 01:16 AM ET

Chris in A^2's avatar

Jimmy again

Posted by Chris in A^2 from Nyquist Puck Control on 01/09/11 at 01:16 AM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

JIMMAH

saves

anddddddddddd

it’s

N
O

G
O
A
L
(!)

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 01/09/11 at 01:17 AM ET

sjketcheson's avatar

Helm’s got him some dangle lately!

Posted by sjketcheson from the floor of the Hasek on 01/09/11 at 01:18 AM ET

Gabriel's avatar

WTF…am I the only one here still blacked out?

Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 01/09/11 at 01:18 AM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

it is so hard to follow the game, when the canuck announcers talk about how good their team is, and i keep hearing the puck clank off the pipes. and they make no comments about it.

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 01/09/11 at 01:18 AM ET

Chris in A^2's avatar

Gary Ass quick whistle

Posted by Chris in A^2 from Nyquist Puck Control on 01/09/11 at 01:19 AM ET

Osrt's avatar

Jim Hugson is talking too much shite. We need a playoff win against these Shumucks.

Posted by Osrt on 01/09/11 at 01:19 AM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

am I the only one here still blacked out?

I’m having to watch CBC in STD Def, Gabe

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/09/11 at 01:19 AM ET

Chris in A^2's avatar

WTF…am I the only one here still blacked out?

20 seconds left in OT for the Pistons, everyone else is probably watching CBC

Posted by Chris in A^2 from Nyquist Puck Control on 01/09/11 at 01:20 AM ET

TheRealYooper's avatar

ken kal on da radio

Posted by TheRealYooper from within sight of the edge of the Earth. on 01/09/11 at 01:20 AM ET

HockeyTownTodd's avatar

Hate to do this, but Jimmy just made his save of the year.
Posted by Paul

A save like that early in the game means it is likely to be his game of the year.

Posted by HockeyTownTodd on 01/09/11 at 01:21 AM ET

Osrt's avatar

I’m having to watch CBC in STD Def, Gabe

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut

me too.

Posted by Osrt on 01/09/11 at 01:21 AM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Hate to do this, but Jimmy just made his save of the year.
Posted by Paul

A save like that early in the game means it is likely to be his game of the year.

Posted by HockeyTownTodd from AKA GangstaGramps (Thanks, OSRT) on 01/08/11 at 10:21 PM ET

Y’all Jinx Jimmah, and I’m climbing through the innertubes to find both of you.

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/09/11 at 01:22 AM ET

Gabriel's avatar

I’m having to watch CBC in STD Def, Gabe

Ah, thanks Jeff. Any chance you’re watching it one some long lost DirecTV channel that I just didn’t know about?

Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 01/09/11 at 01:22 AM ET

Osrt's avatar

Forecheck you *#$%@&!!!

They’re giving the Nucks first line too much time.

Posted by Osrt on 01/09/11 at 01:23 AM ET

WestWing's avatar

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/08/11 at 10:19 PM ET

Did you just compare watching CBC to having an STD?

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 01/09/11 at 01:23 AM ET

« Previous        < 1 2 3 4 >  Last ›      Next »

Add a Comment

Please limit embedded image or media size to 575 pixels wide.

Add your own avatar by joining Kukla's Korner, or logging in and uploading one in your member control panel.

Captchas bug you? Join KK or log in and you won't have to bother.

Smileys

Notify me of follow-up comments?

Feed

Most Recent Blog Posts

About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com