Abel to Yzerman
by IwoCPO on 01/08/11 at 09:55 PM ET
Google news alerts tell me that Chris Osgood has a groin thing and won’t play tonite, leaving us with a sophomorically slumping Jimmah Howard who hasn’t given up less than 3 goals since RWBill made that grace his bitch on Thanksgiving. Brad Stuart is out 6 to 8 after a hit from a walking urinal cake, a hit that will most likely go unnoticed by Gary Bettman’s pathetic sewer of a front office..and yeah that includes you Brendan Shanahan, you hypocrite.
The best forward in hockey is still out, along with the soul of Hockeytown…Charlie Buckets. Wally’s probably down again tonite and my magic eight ball keeps coming up with this, “your favorite team is going to be violated repeatedly”.
There is no chance in hell the Wings win this game tonite. Vancouver’s too hot. The Wings are too hurt. Our goalie is too erratic, our forwards are ravaged, our blue line is gaping like a back-alley Dive fan on a warm Denver Tuesday night. There are just too many obstacles to overcome. Too much adversity. The puppies won’t come out and somebody pissed in the fire truck’s gas tanks. The hookers, god bless ‘em, are all “studying for their mid-terms” and Jobu’s at it again.
No. Chance. In. Hell.
Just the way my Uncle Mike likes it. Statement game in hostile territory against the hottest team in hockey with injuries like nothing any team has seen since this team saw them exactly one year ago? Screw it. Wings win because, by god, it’s what they do in situations just like this.
Just when you think Gary’s league and Jobu’s curses and the big, bad Western Canadian(en) tough guys are going to have their way with our Wings in the most grotesque manner possible? That’s when the best coach in hockey earns his free pizzas.
You want sympathy? From who? Gary, Chicago, Vancouver? Hell no. They can all suck it. And yeah, you too, Shanny. How you allow your name to be associated with this joke of a three-ring circle jerk is a mystery to the rest of us.
Live Blog this one, bitches…because, guess what? All of Canada will be watching and hoping and wishing for a Wing loss.
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Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977. No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y. Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation. There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature. Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: firstname.lastname@example.org