Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

No More Sloppy Seconds, Time To Bury The Oilers Underground

Some amazing things can happen in the space of 60 minutes.  Bob Seger's "Live Bullet" album launched his mainstream career and the Rolling Stones managed to be sober and cohesive long enough to put together their finest work "Exile on Main St.", both clocking in at just over 60.  Even Beethoven's 9th Symphony comes in around the 60 minute mark.  All of them are timeless and seminal efforts.

For some reason our Red Wings just can't put in the effort for a full 60.  As Ken Daniels pointed out yesterday there are Sloppy Seconds. Unfortuantely there are also Taintastic Thirds and Fuch-it Firsts.  For some reason ever since the Sweet Baby Jesus brought Cup #11 to its rightful home in Detroit, the team has stopped playing complete games and started phoning in periods and entire games at a time.

Mule, once hungry for goals, now floats like driftwood for stretches at a time.  Among the 19 this puts him up Shit's Creek with a turd for a paddle, to quote Ween.  Thankfully for some the Mule will not be in the lineup.  According to Malik he is being replaced by the long-awaited return of Mikael Samuelsson.  Wait, I meant Darren Helm whose work as God has been sorely missed around here.

My posting around here has been sporadic but so has my watching of the team.  After more than three years of a self-imposed boycott from the game (Thanks Gary.  Ass) I am slowly getting back into the swing of things.  I've watched two games this week and the Emperor tells me that is two more games than TheLinkGoesHere watches in a typical month, so I feel like I am becoming blog-ready again. 

Around here RedMenace has been showing off in the GDT with fancy tables and graphics and our Command Master Chief has been away on a ship making boys into men.  (Get your mind out of the gutters, perverts).   The juvenile deliciousness we have all come to expect of A2Y has dwindled to a trickle. 

As I get back into the swing of the game and the team, all the old anger is returning.  The vitriol to fuel a thousand angry rants is building up inside me.  The frustrations of Sloppy Seconds and Whiskey Dick power-plays are mounting.  Hopefully, with a bit of time, the three of us at A2Y will be able to match the prolific output of one JJ from Kansas.  Minus the factual analysis and research, of course.

It is time for another Live Blog, bitches.  The bar is open and well stocked so fire up a colortini, sit back, relax, and watch the pictures as they fly through the air.  It's time for the Wings to bury the Oilers deep undergroud into the tar sands whence they came.

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Comments

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VooX's avatar

Posted by Hippy Dave from Portland by way of Detroit on 11/02/13 at 10:14 PM ET

Cheers, bitch, good to see you as well.

Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 11/02/13 at 10:17 PM ET

Bent's avatar

This is a weird arena.  Always looks poorly lit on TV.

Yikes, Smith.

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 11/02/13 at 10:17 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Evening all,

My beverage of choice tonight is the remains of a bottle of wine I opened last night.  My version of sloppy seconds I guess.

LGRW

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 11/02/13 at 10:17 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Shut. Whore. Mouth. Ken! No jink. No jink. No jink.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 11/02/13 at 10:17 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Cheers.  Hopefully one day we can raise a glass in person and you can regale me with a few of them

Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 11/02/13 at 10:15 PM ET

Gladly…any of you bitches find yourself north of GR look me up.

Beer’s always cold

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 11/02/13 at 10:17 PM ET

calquake's avatar

I was gonna say the same. Scary.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 11/02/13 at 10:16 PM ET

That’s only because we hope it’ll knock some sense into him.

Posted by calquake on 11/02/13 at 10:18 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Fuching Smith. Again.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 11/02/13 at 10:18 PM ET

Stevis's avatar

And bad Smith shows up early tonight.

Posted by Stevis on 11/02/13 at 10:18 PM ET

Avatar

Horrible call on Smith. But he did make a bad play at the blueline.

Posted by CrimsonPhoenix on 11/02/13 at 10:18 PM ET

Hootinani's avatar

Hola bitches

looks like the refs are picking up right where they left off last night

Posted by Hootinani on 11/02/13 at 10:19 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

That’s only because we hope it’ll knock some sense into him.

Posted by calquake on 11/02/13 at 10:18 PM ET

Exactly.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 11/02/13 at 10:19 PM ET

Gary A$$ SUCK !!'s avatar

God Kväll bitches !!! And smith is not on the ICE

Posted by Gary A$$ SUCK !! from Fort Myers, Florida on 11/02/13 at 10:20 PM ET

Hootinani's avatar

Gladly…any of you bitches find yourself north of GR look me up.

Posted by 42jeff from Howard City, MI on 11/02/13 at 10:17 PM ET

Was just in Rockford the other day, great brewery there

Posted by Hootinani on 11/02/13 at 10:20 PM ET

Gary A$$ SUCK !!'s avatar

Let’s Go Red Wings !!!

Posted by Gary A$$ SUCK !! from Fort Myers, Florida on 11/02/13 at 10:21 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Was just in Rockford the other day, great brewery there

Posted by Hootinani on 11/02/13 at 10:20 PM ET

Perrin’s down in GR is outstanding.  They have a Grapefruit beer that surpisinginly doesn’t suck.

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 11/02/13 at 10:22 PM ET

calquake's avatar

They have a Grapefruit beer that surpisinginly doesn’t suck.

But it does pucker… cheese

Posted by calquake on 11/02/13 at 10:23 PM ET

Hootinani's avatar

Perrin’s down in GR is outstanding.  They have a Grapefruit beer that surpisinginly doesn’t suck.

Posted by 42jeff from Howard City, MI on 11/02/13 at 10:22 PM ET

Yep, wife love it

that and Main Man Mango from Founders

Posted by Hootinani on 11/02/13 at 10:23 PM ET

Hippy Dave's avatar

Wierd Science?

So, what would you little maniacs like to do first?

Posted by Hippy Dave from Portland by way of Detroit on 11/02/13 at 10:23 PM ET

Hootinani's avatar

FUCHIN HELMER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by Hootinani on 11/02/13 at 10:23 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Fuchin Helm Yes!!!!

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 11/02/13 at 10:24 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Fan-freakin’-tastic.

Posted by calquake on 11/02/13 at 10:24 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

HOLY HELM!!!

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 11/02/13 at 10:24 PM ET

Bent's avatar

WECOME BACK HELM!!!

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 11/02/13 at 10:24 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

Well, I guess he is healthy…..

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, doing the pre-season shuffle.... on 11/02/13 at 10:24 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Holyshit….

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 11/02/13 at 10:24 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Taters!!!

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 11/02/13 at 10:25 PM ET

Little Redhead's avatar

GO HELM, Woo Hoo!!!!!

Posted by Little Redhead from the Engineer's chair on 11/02/13 at 10:25 PM ET

Stevis's avatar

HELM!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by Stevis on 11/02/13 at 10:25 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

Holy crap!!  Tater!

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, doing the pre-season shuffle.... on 11/02/13 at 10:25 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

WOOOO!!!!

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 11/02/13 at 10:25 PM ET

Hootinani's avatar

cant we just keep this going the rest of the night?

Posted by Hootinani on 11/02/13 at 10:25 PM ET

calquake's avatar

Sauce with the icing.

Posted by calquake on 11/02/13 at 10:25 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Whoooo! Helmer!

Lets Go Redd Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 11/02/13 at 10:25 PM ET

Bent's avatar

Wow, great start.

Posted by Bent from The U.P. on 11/02/13 at 10:26 PM ET

Gary A$$ SUCK !!'s avatar

Yihaaaaaaaaaaa Helm and Tatar !!!

Posted by Gary A$$ SUCK !! from Fort Myers, Florida on 11/02/13 at 10:26 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

Bell Tire!

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, doing the pre-season shuffle.... on 11/02/13 at 10:26 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Anyone else worried that this power play is gonna kill their momentum?

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 11/02/13 at 10:26 PM ET

Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit's avatar

Wow! Tatar!

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 11/02/13 at 10:26 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

ossie’s just cracking me up

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 11/02/13 at 10:27 PM ET

Hootinani's avatar

Dont know that Ive ever seen a coach sit during a game, especially on the boards like that

Posted by Hootinani on 11/02/13 at 10:28 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com