Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

“lkjfdshlhhhdzyez,” said Krupa

Gregg Krupa might be a nice guy and we all know that when it comes to redolence, he’s tops.  But he’s a little too smart for us. We’re hockey fans, Gregg. Wing fans to be precise.  We say “redolent” all the time here and not a damn one of us knows what it means.  You gave us that gift, Gregg. But now you’re pushing it. I’m not real fond of the second “g”, either. Just FYI.

I have no idea if Krupa feels like our tradition of tossing winsome, willowy, dead Octopi onto the JLA ice is good or bad.  No clue. Because I don’t understand a frigging word he writes.  Dammit man.  We read sports pages because we don’t understand Hamlet.

Detroit News

Eliminating the 59-year tradition of good-luck octopus tosses would cost the NHL money, and that is about what commissioner Gary Bettman and a ton of other guys with iPhones obsess in the league offices every day.

“That is about what…”  What? 

So, fear not.

Et tu,  Krup-eh?

Lest we forget, that is why we do it.

“Lest”?  Seriously.  Who the hell says “lest” in conversation.  “I should urinate after this 7th beer without relief; lest I soil myself.”

But my concern here is not that “they” will abjure our tradition.

“Abjure”....isn’t that a mustard?

Remember, this is a game in which delays are both strategized and, often, the product of manifest conspiracy.

Aha, now we’re talking bitch.  Now we’re talking. Finally, a word we understand. Good, good. Go with that.

Delays in play are desired by one side and abhorred by the other.

Shut your abhor mouth, Krupa.

Wait though.  Oh, it gets better. 

The priests of Santeria, the combination of Roman Catholic, African and Native American traditions practiced by millions, say multiple evil spells cast at the same target may needlessly confuse things. Feng Shui, the ancient Chinese application of astronomy and geography to aesthetics with the intent of encouraging peace and well-being, suggests that if something intended to attract good fortune gets confused or causes bad feelings it might result in, well, less peace and well-being.

Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah. Charlie Brown teacher talk.  Holy. Hell.  This guy’s writing a hockey story for hockey fans and talking about…Feng Shui?  What. The. Fuch?  You can take that Hong Kong Phooey shit straight to Denver Greg.  Because, brother?  We’re not feeling it.

Thankfully,  there was one line in there that most of us can relate to.

“...it may be a bad idea to toss too often.”

Exactly.  Blindness and all that.  RWBill?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Comments

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Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Do the NYR have anything going for them besides their goalie?

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 04/23/11 at 05:47 PM ET

Forlorn in VA's avatar

Yes, they do Jeff.  Their home sweaters are pretty snazzy.

Posted by Forlorn in VA on 04/23/11 at 06:11 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Thanks, stoney, for the updates on the Yzerbolts game.  Nice work.

“ate too too.”  Genius.

Posted by SYF from Zata's Epic Viking Beard on 04/23/11 at 06:24 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

Do the NYR have anything going for them besides their goalie?

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 04/23/11 at 03:47 PM ET

they have John Travolta for a coach

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/23/11 at 06:24 PM ET

SYF's avatar

they have John Travolta for a coach

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/23/11 at 04:24 PM ET

Jeebus, the man’s on fire.

Posted by SYF from Zata's Epic Viking Beard on 04/23/11 at 06:25 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

ovie is a beast

... an ugly beast

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/23/11 at 06:27 PM ET

SYF's avatar

BTW, I’m watching the Rags/Caps game on mute…

Ovie.  What a fuching goal.

2-nil Caps.

Posted by SYF from Zata's Epic Viking Beard on 04/23/11 at 06:27 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

BTW, I’m watching the Rags/Caps game on mute…


you have learned much, Grasshopper.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/23/11 at 06:32 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Perhaps the Rangers will be the first road team to lose all week.

Oh hai, Sully!

Posted by SYF from Zata's Epic Viking Beard on 04/23/11 at 06:35 PM ET

SYF's avatar

you have learned much, Grasshopper.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/23/11 at 04:32 PM ET

Of course!  After hearing John Forslund and Brian Heyward last night?  I think that’s enough already.

Posted by SYF from Zata's Epic Viking Beard on 04/23/11 at 06:37 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

rangers need to make good on this PP chance

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/23/11 at 06:50 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

that was a pretty sloppy second for the rangers

(i’ve been just waiting to say that grin  )

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/23/11 at 06:53 PM ET

mrfluffy's avatar

Do the NYR have anything going for them besides their goalie?

...and his 6 foot long pads?

Posted by mrfluffy from Long Beach on 04/23/11 at 06:55 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

OT, but very interesting…postseason starting goalie stats for the Western Conference (GAA/save%)

Corey Crawford Chi 2.24/.924
Jimmy Howard   Det 2.50/.915
Ray Emery       Anh 3.23/.897
Jonathan Quick   LA   3.49/.894
Roberto Luongo Van 3.67/.885
Ilya Bryzgalov     Pho 4.36/.879
Antti Niemi       SJ   3.63/.877
Pekka Rinne     Nsh 3.57/.865

tHE EXPERTS WERE RIGHT1111

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 04/23/11 at 07:02 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

rangers got nothing

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/23/11 at 07:23 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Jeeeee-hebus…

That was one of the fastest seven minutes of up-and-down hockey I’ve ever seen.

Posted by SYF from Zata's Epic Viking Beard on 04/23/11 at 07:25 PM ET

SYF's avatar

It’s done.

3-nil Caps on a real pretty two-on-one.

Catch y’all later, 19.  MAY be here for the Kings/Sharts game tonight.

Posted by SYF from Zata's Epic Viking Beard on 04/23/11 at 07:35 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Cya SYF.

Your right, Rangers got nothing but a god goalie, and “cool” home sweaters.

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 04/23/11 at 07:37 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

Mr. Avery?

Your tee time is set for 9:00 AM tomorrow.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/23/11 at 07:41 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

game: 3-1, caps

series: 4-1, caps

next: habs at bruins, 7ET

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/23/11 at 07:52 PM ET

Forlorn in VA's avatar

Oh Jesus.  I had to listen to the Douche Canoe last game, and this game has the Douche Dinghy.  I wish I could get the NESN feed on my tv today.

Posted by Forlorn in VA on 04/23/11 at 08:34 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

game time

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/23/11 at 09:04 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/23/11 at 09:12 PM ET

Sullyosis's avatar

Posted by SYF from I-75 and Dix Hwy on 04/23/11 at 05:35 PM ET

Syf, that rabbit is probably delicious.  Is it bad that’s what I think of when I see it?

Let’s Go Habs.

Posted by Sullyosis from A hateful lair in Post Apocalyptic US (or Arizona) on 04/23/11 at 09:17 PM ET

Forlorn in VA's avatar

I see my Boston love is outnumbered by the Hab fans here tonight.

Posted by Forlorn in VA on 04/23/11 at 09:18 PM ET

Sullyosis's avatar

Posted by Forlorn in VA on 04/23/11 at 07:18 PM ET

I don’t mind seeing Boston win the series, but I want this one to go 7 for sure, and Boston currently has ALL the momentum.

It’s too good of a rivalry not to want to watch these teams play 7.

Posted by Sullyosis from A hateful lair in Post Apocalyptic US (or Arizona) on 04/23/11 at 09:25 PM ET

Forlorn in VA's avatar

Seven might cause my nephew or my ex to have a heart attack (both are serious Bruins fans).  I just want Tim Thomas to do well and advance.

Posted by Forlorn in VA on 04/23/11 at 09:28 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

open net choke for the habs!

or

great D by the bruins!

pick your choice ...

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/23/11 at 09:29 PM ET

Sullyosis's avatar

Damn, Stonehands.  Missed that save when I was upstairs making a drink.  Saw the replay though.

Think the B’s skaters owe Thomas after the first 4 games, so yeah…good going.

Posted by Sullyosis from A hateful lair in Post Apocalyptic US (or Arizona) on 04/23/11 at 09:40 PM ET

Sullyosis's avatar

Good D by Wisniewski after he Raf’d that play at the point.

Posted by Sullyosis from A hateful lair in Post Apocalyptic US (or Arizona) on 04/23/11 at 09:42 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

good hockey game

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/23/11 at 10:12 PM ET

monkey's avatar

I finally got around to attempting to read the article in question.  Verily, the torturous Yoda syntax of Krupa doth abjure my cranial impositions, forsooth.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 04/23/11 at 10:17 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

“forsoth”?

finnish or russian?

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/23/11 at 10:26 PM ET

monkey's avatar

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/23/11 at 01:52 PM ET

This one is a tad less subtle:

Posted by monkey from Finland on 04/23/11 at 10:42 PM ET

monkey's avatar

finnish or russian?

Middle English.

Posted by monkey from Finland on 04/23/11 at 10:43 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

Posted by monkey from bat country on 04/23/11 at 08:42 PM ET

lol
but i think i’ll pass on the soup

Middle English.

Posted by monkey from bat country on 04/23/11 at 08:43 PM ET

Oh, from the Midwest, eh?

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/23/11 at 10:48 PM ET

monkey's avatar

No soup for you.  How about some pudding?

Posted by monkey from Finland on 04/23/11 at 10:53 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

Posted by monkey from bat country on 04/23/11 at 08:53 PM ET

i always thought it was more common to call it herpes?

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/23/11 at 10:55 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

20 to go in reg

0-0

and here we go ...

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/23/11 at 11:06 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

Bs 1 - 0

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/23/11 at 11:13 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com