Kukla's Korner

Abel to Yzerman

“lkjfdshlhhhdzyez,” said Krupa

Gregg Krupa might be a nice guy and we all know that when it comes to redolence, he’s tops.  But he’s a little too smart for us. We’re hockey fans, Gregg. Wing fans to be precise.  We say “redolent” all the time here and not a damn one of us knows what it means.  You gave us that gift, Gregg. But now you’re pushing it. I’m not real fond of the second “g”, either. Just FYI.

I have no idea if Krupa feels like our tradition of tossing winsome, willowy, dead Octopi onto the JLA ice is good or bad.  No clue. Because I don’t understand a frigging word he writes.  Dammit man.  We read sports pages because we don’t understand Hamlet.

Detroit News

Eliminating the 59-year tradition of good-luck octopus tosses would cost the NHL money, and that is about what commissioner Gary Bettman and a ton of other guys with iPhones obsess in the league offices every day.

“That is about what…”  What? 

So, fear not.

Et tu,  Krup-eh?

Lest we forget, that is why we do it.

“Lest”?  Seriously.  Who the hell says “lest” in conversation.  “I should urinate after this 7th beer without relief; lest I soil myself.”

But my concern here is not that “they” will abjure our tradition.

“Abjure”....isn’t that a mustard?

Remember, this is a game in which delays are both strategized and, often, the product of manifest conspiracy.

Aha, now we’re talking bitch.  Now we’re talking. Finally, a word we understand. Good, good. Go with that.

Delays in play are desired by one side and abhorred by the other.

Shut your abhor mouth, Krupa.

Wait though.  Oh, it gets better. 

The priests of Santeria, the combination of Roman Catholic, African and Native American traditions practiced by millions, say multiple evil spells cast at the same target may needlessly confuse things. Feng Shui, the ancient Chinese application of astronomy and geography to aesthetics with the intent of encouraging peace and well-being, suggests that if something intended to attract good fortune gets confused or causes bad feelings it might result in, well, less peace and well-being.

Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah. Charlie Brown teacher talk.  Holy. Hell.  This guy’s writing a hockey story for hockey fans and talking about…Feng Shui?  What. The. Fuch?  You can take that Hong Kong Phooey shit straight to Denver Greg.  Because, brother?  We’re not feeling it.

Thankfully,  there was one line in there that most of us can relate to.

“...it may be a bad idea to toss too often.”

Exactly.  Blindness and all that.  RWBill?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Comments

 1 2 3 >  Last ›      Next »

Hippy Dave's avatar

Holy hell.

What a treasure trove thou hast uncovered, sir.

Posted by Hippy Dave from Portland by way of Detroit on 04/22/11 at 05:24 AM ET

Nathan's avatar

Holy shit… I’m not sure who I hate more for this column, Krupa, or his editor.

Posted by Nathan from the scoresheet! on 04/22/11 at 09:30 AM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

What we’ve got here is failure to communicate.

Chief’s brilliant translation for the immaturity “juvenile genius set” (tm @ Capt. D).

Kruppa is so full of himself, bleh.

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 04/22/11 at 09:31 AM ET

Rdwings28's avatar

and Mickey Redmond said, “Holy redolency!!”

Posted by Rdwings28 on 04/22/11 at 09:39 AM ET

Avatar

Because I don’t understand a frigging word he writes.  Dammit man.

Generally how I feel about Iwomopowococowosoo’s posts…

Posted by Unicorn Force from DC (but like everyone here, I'm not a local) on 04/22/11 at 09:58 AM ET

MarkK's avatar

Blindness and all that.

You forgot about the hairy palms, that’s where RWBill comes in?

Posted by MarkK from Maryland on 04/22/11 at 10:00 AM ET

Avatar

Clearly another ill-advised measure taken by Bettman, forcing writers to alienate forein audiences.

Thanks Gary.Ass

Posted by Herm from the beach on 04/22/11 at 10:52 AM ET

Avatar

Or foreign.

Posted by Herm from the beach on 04/22/11 at 10:53 AM ET

Nate A's avatar

That was amazing. LOL

Posted by Nate A from Detroit-ish on 04/22/11 at 11:56 AM ET

Baroque's avatar

Bleargh. What clumsy writing.

I do not like his use of “abjure” as it invokes an air of solemnity or formality that does not really square with talk of traditional octopus tossing. Also, it’s not generally acceptable to have a third party “abjure” anything for someone else; normally it would be used if an octopus-tosser was giving it up themselves, not being forced by another. VERY poor word choice, awkward, stilted, and clumsy.

A better word would have been “repudiate” - roughly the same meaning, but “to reject the validity or authority of” is exactly what he wants to say there but does not. Also, “repudiate” is a far more modern, less literary, more commonly used word and would be less confusing.

(And these people think that bloggers are to be held in low esteem because they don’t have editors and supposedly write poorly… #sigh)

(Excuse the pedantry, I’ve been helping a friend edit essays and my tolerance for struggling through clumsy verbiage is at a low point this weekend.)

Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 04/22/11 at 12:26 PM ET

OlderThanChelios's avatar

Generally how I feel about Iwomopowococowosoo’s posts…

If you come here to “understand” Bill, I think you’ve completely missed the whole point of A2Y. smile

I do not like his use of “abjure” as it invokes an air of solemnity or formality that does not really square with talk of traditional octopus tossing. Also, it’s not generally acceptable to have a third party “abjure” anything for someone else; normally it would be used if an octopus-tosser was giving it up themselves, not being forced by another. VERY poor word choice, awkward, stilted, and clumsy.

By the time I got to the end of that paragraph, I was laughing so hard tears were streaming down my face. Only Ms. B. could post something like that here at A2Y. Great stuff.

Posted by OlderThanChelios from Grand Rapids, MI on 04/22/11 at 12:32 PM ET

J.J. from Kansas's avatar

Excuse the pedantry

He’s excused.

Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 04/22/11 at 12:36 PM ET

Hap's avatar

A better word would have been “repudiate” - roughly the same meaning

Every time I hear this word I think of J Geils band (repuda the beauta?)  Gah, I think I listened to too much classic rock growing up…

Posted by Hap from Grand Rapids, MI on 04/22/11 at 12:50 PM ET

Gabriel's avatar

Holy hell, Chief…you weren’t kidding. I couldn’t get past the fourth paragraph. It’s as if he’s trying to impress his 9th grade Remedial English teacher.

Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 04/22/11 at 01:09 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

I couldn’t let Engblom’s gaff go untouched.

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from where free agents no longer dare. on 04/22/11 at 01:56 PM ET

Osrt's avatar

It’s as if he’s trying to impress his 9th grade Remedial English teacher.

Posted by Gabriel

I abjure my impressedness.

So, uh, Van is chocking on Bob’s ball hairs again. Would they leave us the pleasure of eliminating Chi? Oh man, that would be too fantastic for all words. Except one: Hossome.

Posted by Osrt on 04/22/11 at 02:03 PM ET

Wings_Fan_In_KC's avatar

What a redolent bastard.

Eliminating the 59-year tradition of good-luck octopus tosses would cost the NHL money and that is what commissioner Gary Bettman and a ton of other guys with iPhones, obsess over in the league’s offices every day.

(Fixed so that WE can understand it.  This guy must have a Thesaurus sitting right on his desk.)

Posted by Wings_Fan_In_KC from ...somewhere southwest of The Motor City... on 04/22/11 at 02:45 PM ET

calquake's avatar

I could peruse no further than the first quote, lest vomit spew forth from my oral cavity.

Posted by calquake on 04/22/11 at 03:02 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

Damn you Greggg, lest thou should stab us all in the eyeball with a knitting needle and thus spare us further thy wit.  Confusion hath blown our way a mighty, noxious and redolent wind.  ‘Tis a masterpiece in the art of caca de toro. 

I’m still not sure WTF he was tryin’ to say or how it relates to hockey though

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 04/22/11 at 03:24 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

As the Santerian priests might say, FUCH THE NHL!

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 04/22/11 at 03:26 PM ET

J.J. from Kansas's avatar

‘Tis a masterpiece in the art of caca de toro.

This may very well be my favorite thing said all postseason long.

Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 04/22/11 at 03:43 PM ET

Pugna Vox's avatar

Shut your abhor mouth, Krupa.

Lest I redonlently smother the Chief in willowy, winsome kudos and manifestly conspired Fungo Schwayze, I irregardlessly must add the subtle pinnacle of Gore-riffic descriptives, particularly those that which wax lyrical – and even, dare I say, laud – such brazen displays of turpitude; as such I humbly offer an effusive LOL.

When it comes to Krupa, make mine Gene.

Posted by Pugna Vox from Idiot Out Wandering Around on 04/22/11 at 04:03 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

Abjure?  Holy jumpin (its Good Friday) how many of us were a reaching for the ole Funk & Wagnalls this morning?  I abjured.  The air is now redolent with my utter lack of, well, something.

So I clicked over to the source…...Imagine my surprise when I realized it was not Gene Krupa the drummer, (hey, it’s early out here) but some ner do well Wordsworth wannabe toiling for the flagship of record in ...Detroit?  Help me out here…was he for it before he was agin it…or vice versa?  Hmmmm?

As I have said before where verbiage is concerned “Superfluity does not vitiate”.  Lest one become repetitive and redundant.

Posted by Rumbear from Top O the Hasek, hanging with Dan Cleary.... on 04/22/11 at 04:03 PM ET

WingsFanInBeanLand's avatar

Any of yous guys see Drew from NOHS roast the fuch out of the Jetotes over at Search Daddy

Apparently Pen(i)s fans are buthurt over it.

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from where free agents no longer dare. on 04/22/11 at 04:17 PM ET

Sullyosis's avatar

What foul demonry hast thou uncovered?

Are we to be taken as pharmacists henceforth?

Nay.  Nay I say.

The language of this blog today reminds me of my fave ever XKCD:

Posted by Sullyosis from A hateful lair in Post Apocalyptic US (or Arizona) on 04/22/11 at 04:36 PM ET

Sullyosis's avatar

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from gretzky_to_lemieux’s sandy vag on 04/22/11 at 02:17 PM ET

Yeah he did an excellent job writing that piece.  I’m so proud to be associated with that blog.

Posted by Sullyosis from A hateful lair in Post Apocalyptic US (or Arizona) on 04/22/11 at 04:51 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Oh jeebus, I bowled over with hysterics after reading the ever genius Ms.B’s post basically emasculating Krupa’s badly written editorial.

The A2Y 19 is awesome.com.

Posted by SYF from the team that re-signed KFQ and DFC by KFH on 04/22/11 at 05:11 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Any of yous guys see Drew from NOHS roast the fuch out of the Jetotes over at Search Daddy

Apparently Pen(i)s fans are buthurt over it.

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from gretzky_to_lemieux’s sandy vag on 04/22/11 at 02:17 PM ET

Oh man, that was sheer genius.  Even if by some miracle the Jetotes remained in PHX, the operative words remain, “fan apathy.” 

And those comments underneath?  They were not really reading Drew’s valid points and the most telling FYI that’s completely overlooked by just about every hater?  “15 years.”  That takes us right back to “fan apathy.”

Posted by SYF from the team that re-signed KFQ and DFC by KFH on 04/22/11 at 05:19 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

(Excuse the pedantry, I’ve been helping a friend edit essays and my tolerance for struggling through clumsy verbiage is at a low point this weekend.)
Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 04/22/11 at 10:26 AM ET

No kidding.  I spend the bulk of my day reviewing and editing performance reports, decorations and awards, and technical manuals and changes.  It’s all I can do sometimes to get all editory on people sometimes.

  It is entertaining however when my minions try to get something routed past me.  I actually have a couple that walk in with the document and folder in one hand and a red pen in the other.

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 04/22/11 at 06:14 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

I couldn’t let Engblom’s gaff go untouched.

//hidler.jpg//

Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from gretzky_to_lemieux’s sandy vag on 04/22/11 at 11:56 AM ET

awesome! all the internet to you.

scarey, but awesome.

L.G.R.W.

(Oh, what REALLY is / was Stupa’s point???)

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/22/11 at 06:35 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

from TMR ( “Red Wings off-day updates: Zetterberg, Franzen are good to go for round #2, where Wings must improve” ):

“Drew from Nightmare on Helm Street received the honor of writing the Phoenix Coyotes’ playoff eulogy on the Yahoo Sports’ Puck Daddy blog; ... “

I laughed hard at my belly!

L.G.R.W.

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/22/11 at 07:09 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

Hey Chief…

http://www.afblues.com/wordpress/2011/04/22/orm/

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 04/22/11 at 07:14 PM ET

SYF's avatar

Hey Chief…

http://www.afblues.com/wordpress/2011/04/22/orm/

Posted by 42jeff from Minot, North Dakota on 04/22/11 at 05:14 PM ET

“...just make your Peace with God.”

Friggin’ brilliant.

Posted by SYF from the team that re-signed KFQ and DFC by KFH on 04/22/11 at 07:24 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

hey Jeff,

did you see THIS ?

grin

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/22/11 at 07:25 PM ET

42jeff's avatar

hey Jeff,
did you see THIS ?

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/22/11 at 05:25 PM ET

•  Lowest unemployment rate among the 50 states. North Dakota’s 3.8 percent unemployment rate is less than half the national rate.
——This is so true it’s not even funny.  Every where you go…even since I got here in 2006, you see “Help Wanted” signs in the windows.  Now with the oil boom it’s even moreso.  If you know how to operate any kind of heavy equipment or are willing to work on the wells, there’s good money to be had up here.

• Statewide GDP growth of 3.9 percent ranked third in the nation in 2009 behind Oklahoma and Wyoming (2010’s figures are not yet available.)
——I daresay we’re probably going to climb what’s left of that list.  Again…the oil. 

• Best job growth last year. A Gallup survey reported that North Dakota businesses had the best ratio of hiring to firing among the 50 states.
——-Did I mention the oil?  That and the fact that there’s more jobs here than there are people to fill them?

• Stable housing market. Across the nation, nearly 1 in 4 homeowners with a mortgage are underwater. In North Dakota, just 1 in 14 have negative equity, the fourth lowest negative-equity ratio among all the states. The state also has the third-lowest home foreclosure rate. Affordable homes are a big part of the story here; let’s just say you don’t need to overstretch to own. According to Zillow, the median home price in North Dakota is below $150,000. That’s less than three times the state’s median household income. By comparison, even after sharp post-bubble price declines, the median priced home in California is still about five times median household income.
——-Holy crap did buy my house at the right time.  I got my 3300 sq ft house in 2006 for 101K.  We just got a home equity loan/refi and the house appraised at 155K.  You can’t find an apartment anywhere in the county or those around it.  I think the last thing I heard from the base housing office is that there’s like a .8% vacancy rate for houses and apartments.

• Low violent crime rate. The incidence of violent crime per 100,000 residents in North Dakota in 2008 (latest available data) was the fourth lowest in the country and nearly 60 percent lower than the national average.
——We’ve got T-shirts and coffee cups here with a cool slogan on it… “40 below keeps the rif-raf out”

But yeah…that crap about the winters is spot on.  Holy BALLS it gets cold here sometimes.  Got snow coming tonight.  Weeeeeeee.

Posted by 42jeff from The greater Howard City, MI metroplex on 04/22/11 at 07:37 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

Want more Krupa ?

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/22/11 at 07:40 PM ET

WestWing's avatar

I could be wrong, but I was under the impression that pedantry was illegal—at least in most of the non-southern states.  I mean don’t those bastards usually have to register with the local authorities?

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 04/22/11 at 08:32 PM ET

stonehands-78's avatar

I could be wrong, but I was under the impression that pedantry was illegal—at least in most of the non-southern states.  I mean don’t those bastards usually have to register with the local authorities?

Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 04/22/11 at 06:32 PM ET


no, no, WestWing.
i believe you’re thinking of podiatrists maybe?

Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 04/22/11 at 09:01 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

You had me at “lest I soil myself”.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 04/22/11 at 09:03 PM ET

RWBill's avatar

Blindness and all that.

You forgot about the hairy palms, that’s where RWBill comes in?

Posted by MarkK from Maryland on 04/22/11 at 08:00 AM ET

I confess, once again there is so much on this blog that is over my head, THAT’S how sophisticated I am.  I’m still trying to figure out John Wockenfuss.

You may have broken the code, Mark, for, lest I declare redolently, clueless I am.

Posted by RWBill from the open bar on The Hasek. on 04/22/11 at 09:06 PM ET

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: wphoulihan@gmail.com