Abel to Yzerman

Abel to Yzerman

Live Blogging From a Little Club Downtown

04/08/2014 at 5:53pm EDT

Bullet Bob Seger will tell you the Buffalo Sabres are long, lovely dancers. Classy lasses from good families. Debutantes if they'd decided to take Daddy's money, marry young and hit the country club circuits. Cottages in Charlevoix, Tawas, TC. Fire Lake, even.

But no. They decided to opt for the initiative. College, post grad, medical or law school. So, Daddy's money ran low and they found themselves fending for cash.

And that's when the "long, lovely dancers" revealed who they really were, and what they were really doing.

Let's not sugarcoat it. We're talking about strippers here. Pole dancers for money. Seger knew it better than most and just decided to phrase it a little more elegantly and eloquently because he's Seger, the greatest American songwriter since Irving Berlin.

And that's who the Sabres are tonight. And you know as well as I do that, despite their lineage and despite their organizational class, they can only be treated one way because they're standing between the Wings and two precious points.

This cannot be a "trap game", or a "find your legs" game. It can't be a 1st and 3rd game where the Wings come out firing, nap, then re-energize. The time has passed for that happy horse shit.

The Sabres must not be treated gently. No.

Strippers are not hookers. Not all of them. But the Sabres must be manhandled, like Cinemax.

It's the playoffs we're talking about. And a win tonight essentially guarantees 23.

Whore style. They must be treated in that fashion. If that offends you, or offends your cousin from St. Louis, I'm sorry. But it's so.

It's a Live Blog, bitches.

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977. No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y. Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation. There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature. Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that.

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